Summary: Sequel to Telling Everyone. Harry and Draco are dating happily, but nothing's guaranteed. Lucius Malfoy is out of Azkaban and… their teacher? They'll be in trouble if he finds out that they're together, but how can they keep it a secret when Everyone Knows?
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. are definitely not mine. I double-checked, just in case. Not mine.
A/N: This takes place two weeks after Telling Everyone. Just FYI ^_^ The characters are a bit OOC, but I think it's necessary for this crazy plot. The rating is now definitely R… oh, and before I forget:
This story (as well as Telling Everyone) is archived both at FanFiction.net and at Serenitas's website: www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com. If you're a Slytherin supporter, or just a Harry Potter fan in general, I would really recommend taking a look at this awesome site. ^_^
Review! I absolutely love all my reviewers. Well, except the ones whining about the ships. If you don't like Harry/Draco, you should not have gotten this far.
Oh, and a big thanks to my beta, Dragon's 1 Girl! (If you're a Harry/Draco shipper, you could check out her stories too. Yeah, shameless plug.)
*~*~*
Draco started thanking Merlin he wasn't wearing the boxers with Harry's name on them. Or the thong with Harry's face on it. Or the boxers that squeaked "I love Harry!" every time he got an erection (not that that was about to happen here…). Or the boxers with the picture of Harry's…
Well, he was glad he wasn't wearing them. Today he'd worn a nice, safe green. And since he and Harry hadn't had sex yet (had the world stopped spinning? Had Professor Trelawney's predictions come true? Had Hermione failed an exam?), they were relatively clean.
He pulled them down slowly, willing himself not to be embarrassed. This was his father! He'd seen it all before.
True, he wouldn't be able to look Professor Snape in the eye for the rest of the year, but that wasn't such a big loss. It wasn't exactly a beautiful face to look at. (A/N: SO sorry for all those Snape lovers out there… I love him too! But think about how Draco, that perfectly manicured little platinum blondie, would think about someone who didn't wash his hair! 'Eeeek!' LOL I'm shutting up.)
"I'm impressed," Snape said, nodding.
Lucius shot Draco a dirty look. "Well, perhaps you're not as hopeless as I thought," he said disdainfully, "but of course-" he shot a sly glance at Snape- "you'll never be a match for me."
Any other time, Draco would have been offended. But he was too embarrassed to be anything. Actually, come to think of it, he was kind of amused. Was his father jealous because his Potions Master complimented his son on his size?
Maybe one of Professor Trelawney's predictions really had come true.
"We want to keep up the Slytherin tradition," Snape said, and Draco fought back totally inappropriate giggles at how business-like he sounded. "Basilisk?"
"Hey, I like it," Draco said, suddenly getting into it. He looked down- of course, he was entirely unexcited right now, but… "Basilisk."
"Oh, no," Lucius interrupted brusquely. "That's another name I commonly use for myself. We can't have that."
Draco made a face. Figures. "We could name it Nagini," he suggested suddenly. Ha! What a tricky move. What better way to express fake loyalty to Lord Voldemort, resident evil-bad-guy-out-to-kill-your-boyfriend, than by naming your family jewels after his pet basilisk, who Draco happened to actually be very fond of?
There was so much wrong with that sentence.
"Suck-up," Snape muttered in a very childish way. "The Dark Lord will love it."
"Yes, I'm sure he would…" Lucius said thoughtfully. "Too bad I thought of it first, Draco. I'm often known as Nagini."
"Darn," Draco frowned. It occurred to him to wonder 'often' by who?… "How many names do you have, anyway, Father?"
"Enough…" Lucius answered airily. He shot another side-glance at Snape and lowered his voice. "Enough to be deserving of my greatness," he added silkily.
How many sixth-years stood, naked from the waist down, in their teacher's room while he, who also happened to be said sixth-year's father, flirted with another greasy teacher? Not many. Draco wondered idly why he was so calm, but guessed that he would suffer the largest breakdown in Hogwarts since the splitting of Salazar Slytherin from the school as soon as he was out of the room. Hey, maybe he'd make it into the latest edition of Hogwarts, A History. Hermione'd be reading about him and memorizing the exact names Lucius and Snape were suggesting. He brushed the thought off as can-wait-until-later.
"Greatness…" he mused aloud. "Maybe I can call it 'Highness," or 'Majesty,' or something along the royalty lines." Tzar, he thought, but didn't say it aloud. Would he really want Harry to be screaming, 'Oh Draco! Your beautiful Tzar!' at the moment of ecstasy? Well, maybe once or twice would be cool (not to mention erotic) but for a lifetime?
Yes, he was planning on shagging Harry for a lifetime, thank you very much!
Of course, this brought unbidden and horrifying images of Harry, as old as Albus Dumbledore with a beard down to his naked…
Lucius looked over at Snape, who was nodding his approval, and his mouth stiffened. "I'm called 'Highness' as well as 'Majesty,' Draco," he said sharply.
Waaaiiit… he was sensing a pattern here…
Draco shot a quizzical look at Snape, who sighed, shrugged, and nodded.
"How about…" Draco searched his memory, looking for something he would like having Harry shriek every night. He had a funny feeling this would be the name he kept. This funny feeling had something to do with the wink Professor Snape threw at him.
"I like the name Shaggy," he announced. Yep, it went with Hairy, and he wasn't quite ready to give up on that, as well as described what he did with it.
Lucius opened his mouth, probably to claim that as well, but Snape beat him to it. "I must confess I'm not overly fond of that name, Draco," he said smoothly. "You need a name more… manly, strong, sexy… like your father." Snape had the same look in his eyes that he got when Neville exploded a cauldron in Potions. A strong desire to kill something. Luckily, Lucius didn't recognize that.
"Now, Severus," he said, grinning broadly. "We should let young Draco have what he desires, don't you agree?" He leaned in so far that Draco bet he could see the little balls of grease in Snape's hair. "We all have to give in to our desires," he purred.
"Excellent, Shaggy it is, want to walk out with me Professor Snape?" Draco said in one breath, making it to the door in record time. Snape had saved him (sort of), it was time to pay him back.
"Of course I will, Draco, good-bye Lucius," Snape said, moving equally fast to the door. They yanked it open and climbed out, ignoring the suspicious looks Lucius was throwing at them.
Draco let out a big sigh once they were far enough away from the classroom. "That was embarrassing," he said, shooting a look at Professor Snape, who still had the must-kill-either-boy-with-exploding-cauldrons-or-horny-Lucius look in his eyes. He abruptly broke into unmanly giggles. "My daddy wants to shag you!" he squeaked out, doubling over in laugher.
Snape scowled his blackest scowl. "You're giving gay boys a bad name," he said, watching the blonde boy giggling.
"Hey, I resent that!" Draco protested. "Not all gay boys giggle. Just the insane ones." This set him off again, and Snape stalked off.
Severus was so angry with Draco he didn't tell him he'd left his boxers back in Lucius's chambers.
*~*~*
Luckily for Draco, the first person he met was Harry, once he calmed down enough to walk.
"Hey, Harry!" he said happily, not noticing how abruptly the boy stopped walking, or how his emerald eyes grew smoky behind the glasses. "You wouldn't believe what happened between Snape and Father and me! Oh, don't worry, it's not like that. Or maybe it is. See, they were helping me pick out a name for myself." He stuck a pose, and Harry's mouth fell open. "Say good-bye to the temporary and ever-shifting names of Hairy, Harry's, Harry's Baby- not that those weren't fantastic, but I've got a permanent name. Say hello to Shaggy!"
He looked triumphantly at Harry, but he was no longer standing in front of him. He felt sudden, fantastic hot breath and looked down quickly. It was then he realized he wasn't wearing pants. Harry was crouched in front of him, mouth hovering an inch away from his now-throbbing organ.
"Hello, Shaggy," he whispered before closing his mouth over it.
*~*~*
Peeves swooped down the near-deserted hallway, following the sound of shrieks. Oh how he loved screams of agony!
But once he got there, he found out that it was far from agony for Harry and Draco were experiencing. He flew away as fast as he possibly could. Once he recovered from the initial shock, however, he began cackling again. What a story the ghosts were going to have tonight!
*~*~*
Neville crept under the Quidditch stands, shaking like a mouse. Ron and the Creevey brothers were waiting for him, and Luna was sitting off to the sides, staring at the underside of the stands dreamily.
"Neville. You're here," Ron said brusquely. "Good. Do you know what this is?" he asked, motioning around at his little group.
Neville squeaked.
"What?" Ron asked, frowning.
"He said, 'eep!'" Colin piped up.
"Shut it," Ron said. "What did you say, Neville?"
When the poor boy's answer came, it was barely perceptible. "O-o-"
"Say that one more time," Ron said as nicely as he could, fighting to hold on to his patience.
"Orgy?" Neville squeaked again.
Ron's jaw dropped, and Luna looked up in momentary but obvious shock. Then she chuckled a little and resumed her serene staring.
"No!" Ron blurted. "No! Nothing like that, Neville! Oh, ew! No!" He smacked the side of his head a few times.
Neville blushed a terrific red, but looked immensely relieved. "Oh, good," he said, sitting shakily on the grass.
"What's an orgy?" Dennis asked innocently.
Ron shut his eyes. Maybe if he ignored him…
"It's a group of three or more people, boys or girls, who get together at one time and have sex," Colin explained cheerfully. The fact that it was technically accurate didn't help Ron's stomach.
"Oh." Dennis paused. "What's sex?"
"No!" Ron exploded, but Colin thought about it.
"I know the fundamentals, Dennis, but I think maybe Ron could describe it much better," he said, turning expectantly.
Ron opened his mouth wordlessly, trying to protest. He finally blurted, "But we need to talk about Mexican business!"
"Mexican?" Neville asked. Luna stood up, walked over to Ron, and sat down next to Neville. Colin and Dennis scooted over to make a circle, all faces turned to Ron. He couldn't help but enjoy the attention…
"Ron will tell you after he explains sex," Colin said confidently.
And that was how Ron spent the first fifteen minutes of the Mexican meeting explaining how tab A fit into slot B.
*~*~*
"I want to try that!" Dennis said enthusiastically. "It sounds fun!"
"No!" Neville, Colin, and Ron all yelled at once. Luna just edged slightly away, suddenly looking extremely nervous.
"No sex until you're eighteen," Colin said sternly.
"Awww…"
"Right!" Ron said, switching gears abruptly. "Mexicans." He and the Creevey brothers stared menacingly at Neville and Luna. "It's a top-secret group founded and designed expressly for the purposes of protecting one Harry James Potter, who by wizarding code is designated as an international hero for his significant part in the downfall and prevention of immediate rise of You-Know-Who, and has therefore become a prime target for a group of baneful individuals known as Death Eaters, one or more (I still don't trust that greasy bat, either!) of whom currently resides in this here castle, commonly known as Hogwarts, and who must therefore be guarded with our very lives, if the situation were to call for it." He took a deep breath and put the piece of paper with his little speech written on it away. Good thing he'd come prepared. Neville and Luna were looking at him blankly, though it was a little hard to tell with Luna.
"Harry's not eighteen," Dennis said suddenly.
Ron frowned. Glad he'd put so much effort into that run-on sentence!
"But Harry's having sex with Draco," Dennis continued, frowning. Ron closed his eyes.
"Yeah, but Harry's a pervert and a sex-fiend." He'd apologize later. It wasn't really true, but hopefully it'd get Dennis off his back. Er…
Oh, no, being a pervert was contagious.
"How did you find that out?" Colin demanded.
Dennis shrugged. "I heard him saying something to Draco about looking forward to a good shagging that evening."
"And you didn't put it in the book?" Colin asked, thunderstruck.
"I didn't know what it meant!" Dennis whined. "Oh, actually, I still don't. Does Draco have a 'Slot B?"
Ron resigned himself to explaining again. Neville nervously pulled his legs together, as if he were afraid Ron was going to jump on him and do him right then and there. He thought he'd made it perfectly clear he was straight! Even if he wasn't, he at least had some self-control. Unlike his sex-crazy friend, who was at the moment giving Draco a blow job in the middle of the hallway. He didn't know it at the time, of course, but if he had, it wouldn't have surprised him.
"Oh, wow," Dennis said eagerly. "Can I do that?"
"Absolutely not!" Ron said, shuddering.
"But Harry does it!" Dennis said, pouting.
"No! It's still sex! You can't shag anyone until you're eighteen!" Colin said firmly.
Ron was accustomed to seeing Dennis's small, mousy face, so it was a surprise when the boy's face narrowed… looking positively evil. Colin, who knew what was coming, plugged his ears.
"I! WANT! SEEEX!!" Dennis hollered. Ron's jaw dropped, and his ears rung with the sound of the scream. He fancied he could hear it echoing off the Hogwarts grounds… or maybe that was it still reverberating in his skull.
"Ron?" Ginny asked in utter shock.
He turned to see his little sister, peering through looking at the small group in disbelief. "Oh. Hi, Ginny. Er… what are you doing out here?"
"Walking…" she said slowly. "With Dean," she added after a moment's hesitation. "Do not look at me that way, Ronald Weasley! You're the one hiding under the bleachers with Dennis, who's screaming about how he wants sex." A horrible thought seemed to strike her. "You're not going to give him any…"
"No!" Ron yelped. "Go away, Ginny!"
She scowled. "That's nice, thanks a lot Ron." She moved away, grabbing Dean's hand. He waved sheepishly at Ron before she stormed away, dragging him with her.
The Mexicans finally got down to business, seeing as it was probably statistically impossible to embarrass themselves more. At least until the next day.
A/N: Okay, I realize that last part was a little rushed, but you didn't really want to hear Ron explaining what they're going to do again, did you? Didn't think so. Next chapter… you know when that'll be out. Tuesday!
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