Summary: Sequel to Telling Everyone. Harry and Draco are dating happily, but nothing's guaranteed. Lucius Malfoy is out of Azkaban and… their teacher? They'll be in trouble if he finds out that they're together, but how can they keep it a secret when Everyone Knows?
A/N: This story (as well as Telling Everyone) is archived both at FanFiction.net and at Serenitas's website: www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com. If you're a Slytherin supporter, or just a Harry Potter fan in general, I would really recommend taking a look at this awesome site. ^_^
Review! I absolutely love all my reviewers. Well, except the ones whining about the ships. If you don't like Harry/Draco, you should not have gotten this far.
Ron/Neville forever! Thanks to those who voted and I'm glad most of you agreed with me. I probably would have done R/N even if it didn't get any votes, so this way I actually look fair! Woo-hoo!
More author's notes at the bottom, but for now read and enjoy!
*~*~*
"Ow!" Harry said, rubbing his head.
"Ouch!" Draco whined, smoothing down his hair.
"That was for you-" Narcissa pointed at Draco, scowling, "and you." She gestured towards Harry.
"But I got hit first," Harry said, sounding confused.
"Well, then, switch," she said, sounding irritated. "Hurry up, I've got something to say to you."
Harry smacked Draco lightly on the head. "Hey, that hurt!"
"It couldn't have hurt that much," Harry pointed out, rolling his eyes.
"It hurt my looks," Draco said, smoothing down his hair again. "Why are people against me today?" He reached over and cuffed Harry.
"Hey!"
"That's settled," Narcissa said, sounding satisfied. "Now, I suppose you'd like to know why I hit you?"
"Naaah," Harry said, rubbing his chin. "It happens a lot."
Draco hid a grin and kissed Harry's head where he had hit it.
"Ouch! Hey! Mum! Stop hitting me!"
Narcissa frowned. "Draco, you're being far too obvious. Your father may look stupid, but he didn't get as far as he did by being dense."
"No, he got as far as he did by luck, killing people, and bribing others," Draco muttered.
"And sleeping with others," Narcissa added. Harry and Draco looked at her in shock. "What? It's not like I was a complying little wife, either. Neither of us minded."
Draco put his arms around Harry. "But are you sure I'm Daddy's baby?" he said sadly, sounding like he was going to cry. Harry patted him on the back.
"With your hair?"
Harry let out a snort and Draco grinned into his robes. "Right, mum. So… er, why did you hit us?"
She sighed. "Your father has noticed how natural you and Harry look together."
"Thanks!"
"No! Draco, pay attention. You've been acting far too complying for someone who's being forced to date Harry. Lucius- sorry, your father- has noticed and he's going to be watching you very closely from now on."
They remained silent, looking at each other a bit sadly and a bit sheepishly. Harry sighed heavily.
"Maybe we shouldn't have slept together five feet away from him," Draco muttered.
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Watch yourselves, boys. And Draco, that means no sobbing into Harry's shoulder!"
Draco pulled away, scowling.
"We'll manage this," Harry said confidentially. "I have a plan. Gotta go now! See you at dinner!" And he sped away.
*~*~*
Ron handed Lucius the scrap of paper with the relationship counselor's address. Lucius read it silently and nodded, taking out the Floo powder. "I'll go first," he said, stepping into the fireplace.
After he disappeared in a whirl of green flames, Ron rushed over and unlocked the door. Colin, Dennis, Neville, and Luna stepped nervously into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. "Here," Ron said, pulling two scrolls out of his robes. "Do these. Malfoy and I should be away a good two hours, but we'll definitely be back before dinner. So hurry up and be out of here long before then! Good luck, Neville."
"What about the rest of us?" Colin asked indignantly. Ron flushed bright red.
"Oh! Right. Good luck, everyone!" He scurried over to the fireplace and tossed in a handful of the Floo powder. "Gilderoy Lockhart's Office!"
*~*~*
"Why is Ron seeing Lockhart?" Neville asked curiously.
"Relationship counseling," Dennis said wisely, while Colin nodded sagely. Neville flushed and quickly turned to the two scrolls he was holding. He handed one of them to Luna and unrolled the first one.
"Why did Ron need all this paper just to write that one little sentence?" Colin wondered.
"Fancy heading," Luna spoke up, looking over. At the top of the paper, in huge, scrawling letters, it read: The Mexicans. Underneath was a list of all the members.
*~*~*
Founder: Ronald Weasley
Head Mexican: Ronald Weasley
Tallest Member: Ronald Weasley
Smartest Member: Ronald Weasley
Bravest Member: Ronald Weasley
Most Important Member: Ronald Weasley
Strongest Member: Ronald Weasley
Most Sexy Member: Neville Longbottom (strikethrough) Ronald Weasley (Damnit! I didn't write that!)
Shortest Member: Dennis Creevey
Loudest Member: Dennis Creevey
Most Annoying Member: Colin Creevey
Most Spacey Member: Luna Lovegood
Most Forgetful-But-Still-Adorable Member: I mean, Most Forgetful Member: Neville Longbottom
*~*~*
MEXICAN GOAL: Ronald Weasley and Lucius Great Snake Malfoy will, by Ronald's persuading, visit a relationship expert, foolishly leaving the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom unattended, while the rest of the Mexicans redecorate it to their liking.
*~*~*
"We can do that!" Dennis said enthusiastically, jumping up and down. "It'll be fun!"
*~*~*
"Ron! Fabulous to see you again!" Gilderoy Lockhart said enthusiastically.
"Pink," Ron said.
Lucius smiled, looking around the office. It was decorated entirely in pink. "Yes, I must confess, it nearly blinded me when I arrived. But I've grown rather fond of it in so short a time."
Ron blinked a few times and took a seat on a very soft (pink) chair. He immediately sank at least a foot down. "Oof! Er, so how are you, Professor… er, Counselor Lockhart?"
"Now, now, none of that professional stuff," Lockhart chuckled. "Call me Gild."
"How appropriate," Ron muttered. (A/N: That's for those of you who know what gild means! It is very appropriate, isn't it?) "Well, Gild, how are you? Is your memory back?"
He smiled, showing more teeth than Ron imagined would be on a shark. "Yes, young Weasley, almost entirely." His forehead creased. "I must confess, though, that I cannot remember a single thing about how I actually lost my memory in the first place. It's a complete blank."
Ron winced. Whoops. Darn his wand. Although, it did get Lockhart out of the DADA job; and anyway he was probably better at this.
"So!" he beamed, clapping his hands. "Let's get started. You first, Lucius!"
Ron listened patiently as Lucius described how overwhelmingly in love with him Snape was, and how he didn't know what to do since everyone else wanted him, and how Snape was just too shy to approach him anyhow. Gild nodded sympathetically. "You're in a tough spot," he said at the end. "What I would recommend, however, is getting yourself alone with Severus. Hopefully, no one will see you and get jealous, and Sev will feel more comfortable about approaching you."
Ron rolled his eyes. "You're counseling him to have an affair!" he said. "And who would want to cheat on Narcissa with Snape, anyway?"
"Everyone wants Severus!" Lockhart said, sounding shocked. "Hell- oh dear, pardon my language. Goodness, even I want Severus!"
Lucius suddenly looked very menacing, and Ron's eyebrows shot up. "You mean you're gay?" he asked. Come to think of it, why was he so surprised?
"Oh, I swing both ways," Gild said airily, "After all, everyone wants me, and I don't want to automatically put anyone out of hope!" He laughed a bit. "Now, what's your problem, Ron?"
"Everyone thinks I'm gay!" Ron whined.
"Well, are you?"
"No!" he responded immediately.
Gild looked thoughtful, an unusual sight. "You answered that question awfully fast," he said. "Are you sure?"
Ron considered. "Here, let me help you out," Lockhart offered. "Give me the name of a handsome boy you know."
"Neville," he said immediately, then clamped his hand over his mouth. "Ugh!"
"All right," Lockhart said, sounding satisfied. "Now." He leaned back in his chair calmly. "Picture Neville on your bed. Naked. Bound up in chains and just lusting for you…"
Ron suddenly found it hard to move.
*~*~*
"Oops!" Neville said frantically. "Sorry!"
When the smoke died down, Colin cheered. "You did it, Neville!"
For the past two hours, they'd been trying to get the changes to stay. But apparently Lucius had put up strong spells to keep the classroom in the shape it was in. Nothing they had done worked- that is, until Neville's wand exploded. Now, the mirrors hanging on the wall were bewitched to show the person old, fat, and bald. Molding of lions ran around the edges of the mirror. The desks had all been transformed into steel, lumpy things, and the teacher's desk was a cow. Neville hadn't even learned animal transfiguration yet. He had the urge to run to Professor McGonagall to show her what he'd done, but the truth was, it was a complete accident. He still didn't quite know what'd happened.
"You know, Dennis completes the picture," Colin said thoughtfully. Neville glanced over and saw Dennis lying unconscious on the floor.
"Oh, no! Is he okay?"
"If he were okay, would he be unconscious?" Colin asked rhetorically.
"Well, let's get him to the hospital wing!" Neville shrieked.
"Wait," Luna spoke up, "we have to finish the second scroll first."
Neville rolled his eyes and yanked it out of her hands. He scanned the introduction and looked at the goal.
*~*~*
MEXICAN GOAL: Let the Acromantula out.
*~*~*
"I'm not getting near that closet," Colin said decisively. Luna shook her head slowly.
"Come on," Neville said. They dragged Dennis out of the classroom and Colin and Luna brought him down to Madam Pomprey. Neville, however, paused at the door and aimed a careful Reductor Curse at the closet door. This curse he could do quite well, luckily, having been an eager participant in the D.A.
As the closet door exploded and the huge spider came out and he slammed the door and ran for his life, he idly wondered what it was with him and illegal groups that usually ended up blowing things up.
*~*~*
Ron had managed to casually suggest to Lucius that, since it was so close to dinner, maybe they should just Floo into a fireplace closer to the Great Hall. There was no way he was going to see that Acromantula. Despite the pleasant ending to that little experience. He wished he'd been able to appreciate it at the time, though.
They came out the fireplace in the Transfiguration department. As they trudged from the room, Lucius licking his lips, Ron flushing, and the both of them disheveled and sweaty, Professor McGonagall came out of her office and froze.
"Oh, no, no!" Ron said hastily. "Er, I know this might look kind of funny, but I want Neville! And Professor Malfoy wants Snape!"
She put a hand to her mouth. "Go. To. Dinner. Now."
*~*~*
The three of them entered the Great Hall and took their respective seats. Ron slumped next to Harry, who was eating cheerfully. "Where's Neville?" he asked, scanning the room. Harry shrugged.
"No idea."
Come to think of it, where were the rest of the Mexicans? Not even Luna was at the Ravenclaw table. He nervously decided to go looking for them if they hadn't showed up by the end of dinner.
Harry waved cheerfully to Draco, who automatically waved back happily. Then Harry scowled at him, shook his finger, and waved cheerfully again. This time Draco caught on and gave Harry a smile that was real but looked extremely fake. Then he turned his head toward the staff table and rolled his eyes. Lucius nodded approvingly.
Draco looked up as the mail arrived. His eyebrows shot up when he saw Hedwig carrying a Howler. He looked over at Harry in confusion, but back up again in shock when Hedwig dumped the Howler in front of him. He quickly yanked it open, not wanting the Howler to explode.
"HIIIIIII, DRACO!!" Harry's voice sang. "HOW ARE YOU, DARLING-ICKLE-DRACO-KINS? DO YOU WANT TO TAKE A WALK TONIGHT? PLEEEEEASE? I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE BUSY ALPHABETIZING YOUR POTIONS NOTES BUT I MISS YOU!! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVEEEE YOU!" And the Howler exploded.
Professor Malfoy was laughing a little, smiling a lot. He shook a finger at Draco and mouthed 'take a walk with him!' Draco nodded dumbly. He had to hand it to Harry; this was a very Slytherin thing to do.
Of course, he wasn't about to tell him that. Harry usually got annoyed and refused to sleep with him.
"I suggest we ban Howlers from this school!" Professor McGonagall cried shrilly.
*~*~*
"Neville!" Ron cried. "Are you okay?"
Of course Neville was okay. Dennis was too; he was sitting up in bed, chatting away. And chatting. And chatting. Luna's brain had gone somewhere far, far away, and Colin was listening avidly to his little brother. Neville had gotten bored, not to mention hungry, so he had been about to run up to the Great Hall and see if there was any food left. But as he was about to exit the hospital wing, Ron came sprinting up.
"I'm fine-" Neville started to say, but was cut off by Ron's mouth descending on his own. "Mmmph!! Mmmm!! Mmph!" He waved his arms wildly, trying to pry himself away. Finally Ron broke the kiss. And Neville bolted.
He ran out of the school and onto the grounds, and was halfway around the lake before he collapsed on the ground. This had nothing to do with being tired.
It had a lot to do with tripping over Harry.
"What are you doing, Neville?" he asked lazily, sitting up. He'd been lying on his back next to Draco. The two of them had been trying to count the stars, but kept getting distracted and kissing.
Neville whimpered and drew himself into a small ball.
"Longbottom? Are you okay?" Draco asked, sitting up and reflexively brushing the grass out of his hair.
"I was in the hospital wing with Dennis and Colin and Luna and I was hungry so I decided to go get some food and as I walked out Ron walked in and before I could say anything he kissed me and this was the second time and he's really scaring me and I don't know what to do so please HELP!"
Harry stared. Draco blinked and scratched his head. "Say that again?"
"It's our story!" Harry beamed. Draco blinked again.
"Our story?… Oh, that's right, Potter!" he said affectionately. "See, Neville, that's how Harry and I got together. That first year Slytherin picked a fight with Potter here, but my darling Harry put up a Shielding charm, and the spell hit the brat instead. Harry, being the wonderful hero that he is, dragged the kid to the hospital wing. I heard about it, of course, and went to fulfill my duties as Slytherin prefect. Harry was walking out as I was walking in… I didn't even see him, but we smacked heads, pulled back, looked at each other, and all of a sudden started kissing!"
Neville drew a finger through the dirt. "But I don't like Ron," he said sullenly.
"You don't?" Harry asked, sounding surprised. "What was with that dirty dream last night, then?"
Neville's jaw dropped. "How did you-" he squeaked.
"You woke up the whole room with your moaning," Harry said, scowling. "I stayed up all the previous night with Draco; I was trying to get some sleep. That was awfully inconsiderate, you know."
Neville flushed bright red. "Ron… Ron woke up?"
"Huh? Oh, no, Neville, Ron could sleep through a Death Eater attack. You woke up Dean and Seamus and me, though. We tried to wake you up, too, I mean do you know how sick it is to hear you going 'Ooooohh, Ron, Ron, Ron, do that again, oooooh?'"
Draco made a face.
"But you thrashed around and knocked the sheets off and… we kind of didn't want to go near you." Harry actually blushed. "You didn't look like you wanted to be disturbed."
Draco fidgeted a bit. Neville looked like he was going to die.
"So, Dean and Seamus and I spent the night in the common room!" Harry finished brightly. "We'll do that again tonight, if you want."
Draco shifted again. Harry glanced at him. "Draco, what's the matter- oh. Er… Neville? If you wouldn't mind leaving us alone?"
*~*~*
"What are you doing?" Ron asked curiously.
"Having a sleep-over party in the common room!" Harry said brightly as he, Dean, and Seamus trudged out of the room with their pillows and blankets. "You and Neville will have this whole room all to yourselves… aren't you lucky?"
Ron groaned. "Neville hates me," he said dejectedly.
"Oh, I don't think so," Harry said airily. "Have fun tonight!" He stepped out of the room and looked to the left. "Neville, stop hiding. Ron will only bite you if you ask him to." He shoved the frightened boy into the room and firmly closed the door.
We'll let the boys have their privacy.
*~*~*
Harry waited until he thought Dean and Seamus were asleep before creeping out. At least, that was the plan.
"Hey, Harry, where're you going?" Seamus asked.
"Aren't you asleep?" he asked, jumping back. "You scared me!"
"Sorry," Seamus apologized. "So where are you going?"
Harry blushed. "The Room of Requirements."
"Brilliant!" Dean said, sitting up and giving Harry another heart attack. ("You're awake too?!") "We can sleep there, I bet it'll be loads more comfortable."
Harry gave them both glares. And kept glaring. And kept glaring until they got the picture.
"Oh. You're meeting Draco there, aren't you?"
Harry flashed them both a bright smile. "Have a nice night!"
A/N: Yaay, another chapter done! Now, to my reviewers (who I'll be unfairly lumping together, sorry 'bout that):
Those of you that said you liked confused Ron, I know how you feel! I adored a kind of dazed, not all there Ron. But I decided to take pity on him, at least for now. I'll still be warping his character, though, out of revenge 'cause I don't own HP. ::sniff::
To those of you that suggested possible relationship counselors: OMG, you guys are funny! I got a couple of great suggestions that I probably would have used; only problem, I'd already planned it out for it to be Lockhart (the St. Mungo's thing). And a lot of you guessed who it was, too, bravo!
Thanks to the people who pointed out their favorite lines/parts, it's more helpful than you probably realize!
And to Arwen Rayne: I really hope you're reading this, because I want your e-mail address! I need to tell you something about your suggestions that I can't say here, because I'll spoil things for the other readers. ^_^ You can either e-mail me, (with a clear subject line, please!) getting the address from my author's page, or leave your e-mail in a review.
And hey! Not counting author's notes, this is my second-longest chapter! (Longest being chapter 1) Go me… go me…