Welcome to My World
Kayo
Chapter XII: "We're going streaking!" –Will Ferrel
And so that night (being Saturday) there was an unofficial party at the Star residence. Jared asked where Shawn's dad was, and was given the answer: most likely at a bar, then at some woman's house, then at another bar, then at another woman's house, then at a strip club, so on and so forth. He would probably show up on Monday, or at least call before he went to work. Shawn rarely saw him, and he thought for the better at the moment. He was sure if his dad showed up now, he wouldn't approve of having four extra people in the house.
Shawn released the girls from his room after they promised to stay away from Legolas that night. They called each other parent's and said they were sleeping over their respective houses. No doubt neither one's parents would want them spending the night alone with three boys. Well, one boy, one magical Istari guy, and an Elf. After all that was done, Shawn ordered pizza and stole some money from his dad's wallet. Even though they knew Elidh-Feredir was still out and about, he wouldn't be so stupid to make another move right after they just got rid of Sauron. He would need time to plan, and the girls wanted to celebrate the arrival of Legolas' arrival in their world. And that was how the party was started.
Legolas' views of parties were completely different from what was happening now. Nina and Chloe were raiding the house for good music, cursing Shawn for his horrible taste. "Where's Backstreet Boys? N'Sync? My god!" Yelled Nina. "Reggie & the Full Effect?? How can you not have that?? And what about Placebo? He's so cool!!!" At least Chloe's music wasn't as bad as the boy bands. Shawn much rather listen to Sean Paul (and Reggie, but he would never tell Chloe that he liked the same music as her). Jared, however, was a freak boy who just HAD to listen to Weezer day and night. So the cds they chose were very random.
Legolas didn't understand how they were going to listen to music without someone playing it in the room, until Nina popped in a cd and it began to play all over the house. They didn't blast it, for fear that other people would get the idea there was a party, or that their neighbors would call the police and say there was a party next door, in which the police would see Legolas and his Elven Blades of Doom, and then they would ask to see his license for them, and it would just be bad. So instead they kept the music loud enough to dance to.
Chloe skipped, literally, out of the kitchen holding several bottles of coke. Her pink hair danced on her face, but she didn't care. She set them down on the coffee table, or rather, Legolas' previous table of torture. The reason for her happiness, they were the old type of bottles, made of glass with the caps you had to pop off. Not only did Chloe love these bottles, she collected them and but sand from around the world in them. When Legolas asked her why, she responded, Well, because when my friends go to other countries and/or states, they want to know what you want for a gift. She popped off the cap of a bottle. And since I know most of my friends are on a tight budget, I tell them, bring me back sand. It doesn't cost anything, and it looks pretty…and it's just cool!
She handed him a bottle. He sniffed it warily, not quite sure what the liquid was, but dehydrated. When was the last time he ate? In Middle Earth! That was yesterday morning. Now it was Saturday night. Shawn was a terrible host. But then again, his house had been raided by Sauron, and then Legolas remembered that Chloe had made some kind of corn earlier while watching the movie of himself. He just hadn't had anyone because he was so entranced by the recap of his journey.
Taking a quick sip out of the bottle, he was surprised when it started to fizz on his tongue. He swallowed it fast and was left with a weird feeling in his mouth. He must've made a funny face, since Chloe was laughing at him. Then she took a long chug of it, downing the whole bottle of Coke. Legolas made a face of embarrassment. This mere pink haired girl could drink it all, while he, the two-thousand year old Elf, couldn't even handle a sip. She saw his humiliation, and laughed, Don't worry Leggy-babe. It's an acquired taste, and it's carbonated. I doubt an Elf could drink this and be fine.
Legolas wouldn't let his pride be ripped away by a measly drink. Holding his breath, he tilted his head back and attempted to drink it all down as Chloe had just done. His only problem was it felt like it was burning his throat. He started coughing it up, getting it all over his tunic. Chloe jumped away, her mirth seriously pissing off the Elf. "Shawn!! Leggy needs some new clothes! He kinda…got Coke all over his!" Shawn peeked around the hallway and saw the wet and blushing Elf.
"Whatever. Tell him I've got clothes in my third dresser drawer." He went back to whatever he was doing. This was when Chloe had the best idea of her life.
"I think he needs a bath too! He smells!"
Legolas, catching some of the English, responded, Elves do not smell!
You do, fairy boy.
Shawn came around the corner holding a towel. He couldn't care less. In all truth, they all needed a nice shower. He was exhausted from the trials before, and he just wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep for another year or two. But of course not. Chloe and Nina just had to have a party. "Like a 'Welcome to Our World' sort of thing? What did you think, hun?" Shawn had shrugged at the idea before, but was having second thoughts now. I can't believe Nina talked me into this. As long as nothing bad happens, I don't care. And as long as no one ends up pregnant. Maybe I should fix Legolas. Shawn laughed at himself while Chloe gave him a weird face.
Shawn showed him into the bathroom. Chloe stood at the door to translate. "Just turn this one to the right to make it warm, and this one to the right to make it cold. Opposite turns them off. There's shampoo (for your hair) over here. You've got two choices: Strawberry or neutral Suave." He didn't know if the Elf wanted to smell like a fruit or like a guy. "And then you've got body wash, here's a wash cloth," handing Legolas a wash cloth. "And that's about it. You do know how to shower, right?"
We have baths, but this seems fairly simple, like a waterfall almost.
"Riiiight…Food'll be here soon, so don't take too long." Shawn started to make his way back when he saw Chloe still sitting on the toilet. "Coming Chloe?"
"Nope! I've got a nice view right here!" He dragged her wrist kicking and screaming out and closed the door. "NOOOO! MY PLAN!!!!!! IT HAS FAILED ME! Curse you male! Curse you to the depths of hell!!"
"Chloe, do you think Legolas would've let you stay in there anyway?" She shook her head: no. "Right, so you wouldn't have seen anything anyway." Chloe looked at her feet. Weird child. Now back to raiding the house. However, a mess of long blonde hair was in his way. Nina stood near Chloe, looking at the door with puppy eyes. She had witnessed the cleaning habits of Legolas, and also wanted a piece of the Elf.
Shawn sighed and turned back to the bathroom door. Knocking and poking his head in, he saw Legolas only had his shirt off. He gave Shawn a puzzled look, before Shawn locked the door from the inside, knowing that Legolas would figure it out when he wanted to leave. He closed the door, looked at the girls, who were now at his ankles, trying to sneak a look at the Elf. "Get a life!!!" He yelled at them and stomped away.
Chloe and Nina weren't easily defeated.
~*~
Legolas sighed as the hot water hit his face. This world was so strange. He existed as a fairy tale character, yet he knew he was real. Chloe tried to explain it, but it didn't help. But with Jared in this place, he knew the Istari would eventually generate enough power to send him back to Merry and Pippin. His thoughts wavered to them. How were they doing? Had the orcs hurt them at all? He prayed to Elbereth that they were alright. He knew Aragorn and Gimli wouldn't stop hunting them down, but what did they think when Legolas suddenly disappeared? He hoped Aragorn had enough sense to keep the search going. Legolas could take care of himself, unlike the hobbits.
He reached for the red bottle of shampoo. And started to pour it in his hair and scrubbed vigorously. Some of the bubbles traveled down his face, getting in his eye and mouth. He immediately tried to rinse it out, the stinging and bitter taste unbearable. He grew aggravated. He couldn't even bathe himself without something stinging or tasting horrible!! Cursing under his breath, he continued his shower, as Shawn had called it. He doubted he would be able to take one again. But that all depended on how long it took Jared to have enough magic. And Jared didn't know. Legolas wondered if Jared was even his real name.
He must've been in there for ten minutes or more, because the next thing he heard was a loud bell sound. Legolas, thinking that someone was trying to break into the house, more specifically, Elidh-Feredir, jumped out of the shower and fumbled with the door. He had sensed someone coming, but brushed it off. The unfamiliar sound gave him reason for panic, and he threw the door open.
"N'alaquel, k'sher!" (Back, evil one!) Shawn stood at the doorway, holding four large white boxes in one hand, handing green paper to a girl dressed in all red. Nina and Chloe had been sitting near the bathroom the entire time, and were staring at Legolas from behind. Jared walked into the room, and immediately walked out.
It was one hell of a scene. The girl at the door slowly took the money, backed away from the house, and ran to the car. Shawn yelled out an apology and put the boxes down on the coffee table. Nina and Chloe continued to stare. Shawn grabbed a towel from the closet in the hallway and threw it at Legolas. Nina and Chloe continued to stare. Legolas turned bright red and headed for Shawn's room, where clothes awaited. And the girls continued to stare. Shawn waved a hand in front of their faces, and they stared to where Legolas had been.
"Fantasy coma?" He asked to no one in particular then went to the kitchen to get a knife. Stupid Elf. There is such a thing as a towel. ::Sigh:: Am I going to have to explain a doorbell and public decency?
Out of ear range, Nina finally choked out, "Chloe, we were gypped. That pizza girl got full frontal view…we got ass."
"Ass is good."
"Ass is good…but but…"
"Be grateful, mein freund. We at least saw something."
"And it was good."
"Nina?"
"Ya Chloe?"
"I wish we were that girl."
"Me too."
"I wish I was Shawn."
"No you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"You forget the one thing about being Shawn."
"And what's that?"
"He's a guy."
"Ew."
"And he's got a no-no."
"Ew…"
"That's why we wish we were that girl."
"Very much so."
"Chloe?"
"What?"
"The bedroom door is unlocked."
"Thank you god."
tbc…
Responses to Reviews:
too lazy to sign in: Hahaha, too lazy to sign in, get off your lazy ass! J/k!! Glad you like this! ^_^ Sorry bout making Legolas pseudo gay (I know what that means now! Go me!) But it makes people laugh, and me, but I'll lighten it down a bit. Now it'll be more fangirls going after Leggy babe.
Dreamstrifer: Yes, Legolas needs to work on getting attention, especially *when* to get it. HI NIKITA! Orion lost his gun while searching for Fluffy outside. Yes! Be a rebel! Skip practice! Everyday!!! Mwahahah. ::erhem:: yes, the sex time joke isn't mine, like I said, but Josh's. And yay! 17 is a cool age. So that means by the time I post this, it'll be…::counts:: I think 8 days till your birthday! Happy almost birthday!!! (I never got a present for my birthday) ::pouts::
Blume: Well, I got two reviews from you, so no doubt this is gonna be long. Let's see, HI SAMANTHA! (And ya, jumping from 9 to 11 ya miss a lot, heheh) Wow, sugar high…I'm scared!! AHHH! PUT THE SUGAR DOWN! Gravitation ROCKS MY SOCKS! Hahaha, I love Ryuichi! He's so freaking CUTE! And I got my own Kumagorou, and and and I went cosplay as him to Anime Boston! (It was a bad costume) And I met a cosplay Legolas there, I LOVE YOU LANCE FROM OHIO. And it was just good. And beer is your greatest passion? Are you Homer Simpson? Hahaha, j/k. Slash is good. We like slash. Specially Gravi slash, and hmm...D.N.Angel slash is a bit odd but good…but I don't think I'm gonna read Pirates of the Caribbean slash. I'd rather keep my impression of JACK SPARROW as it is now. ^_^ Don't want to corrupt it.
tamara: I'm funny? ::tear:: THANK YOU!!!! They're all funny?? ^___^ you make me so happy!!!
Josh: Hahaha, I'm a shim. Fear me! I think like a man! Well, I took a gender quiz, and it said I was a man. Ya, that was pretty funny. I killed the computer after that. lol. And when has this become Jared & Co.? I thought it was Shawn & Co. Jared was hardly in this chapter. No fears. The chapter to come will be better. ::evil laughter:: And look, I got Legolas naked!
Nina: That's wicked funny that you were playing that song! Hahaha, I sang it with a midi online, though I made sure I was out of hearing range. Don't want the parientes to know I'm writing perverted parodies! (I've got another one too. Dunno where I can fit it in, but I'll try) ^_^ I'm glad you liked it! ::snicker:: homo tendencies
namarie2legolas: Hmm…I call Matt the Rapist, only cos he really is one. And as for Matt, he'd do anything. I'm sure of it. Sorry that you found it disturbing. I originally wanted to make it just funny, but it got a little out of hand and perverted, but then again, it's Nina's mind. Oh, and it's not the Genie saying that. What you have to do it at that part, when Aladdin is like, calm down Rajah, or whatever, turn the volume up REALLY loud, and then Aladdin whispers it. ITS SO FUNNY. Hmm, Legolas getting drunk and going to a strip bar? Now that's a good idea! Tee hee!!!
And so here it is. A tad longer than usual, and I was planning on making the party a one hit chapter. Now it looks like the next chapter will be the party itself. But ya'll will like that! ^_~ ::off to read more summer reading damn freaking boring books that should be burned in the fiery inferno called hell aka my backyard::