Ardeth Bay, Chieftain of the twelve Medjai tribes had never felt so old. Never, throughout his 27 years of life, 4 of which he had spent under the weight of the immense responsibilities his position involved, had he felt so tired.
She had been gone for over three months and Ardeth wasn't sure he would be able to undergo much longer without seeing those arresting green eyes, listening to her sweet voice, breathing in that scent that was Jean and Jean's alone.
Falling in love had been a new experience for him, it had set free a part of him he didn't even know existed. But falling for an engaged woman had become his curse.
As he was strolling down Cairo's largest mall, he couldn't focus on buying a new suit for his meeting with a new group of artisans. For every single item he saw, his brain found a relation between it and Jean. The luxurious veils, the more contemporary denim clothes, the jewelry, everything seemed to plot against the lonely Medjai and his glum state of mind.
Even the music.
As he passed a CD store that had opened a short while ago, a slow song started. He took no notice of it until the truth of its lyrics penetrated deep into his heart, leaving him rooted to the spot, without the will nor the strength to move.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Ardeth's hands started to shake. The only time in which he smiled was when he thought of her; the only sunray in his life was brought by the image of Jean that seemed to have been imprinted behind his eyelids.
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Having her in his arms had been simply an experience of unsurpassed bliss. She felt good - no, better than good, she felt right; curled there in his arms; her back and bottom nestled against his own body. She belonged there, in his embrace; the hills and valleys of her body forming to and completing his own lean form, as if she was made for him and for him alone, and he for her. That deep sense of belonging was something new to him, and he had discovered he enjoyed the feeling - more than that, he reveled in it.
Those nights had made the warrior feel invincible, complete, happy.
If
you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
Ardeth had found himself often wondering if he would have been able to endure the battles, the trials and hardships of Imhotep's rise had it not been for her presence by his side. But now that she was back in her country and to her man, his strength had been undermined, as if half of it had been ripped apart and taken away.
I
never know what the future brings,
but I know you are here with me now,
" Yes, my sheytana, you are," he muttered. " Allah forgive me, but I don't want to let go."
We'll
make it through,
and I hope you are the one I share my life with
Ardeth sighed, wondering what was it about that woman that just the thought of her could send him into emotions he didn't even know that existed. She was like no other woman; she had made her way right through his heart like no other had, nor would ever be able to.
I
don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand,
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
At that point, his knees seemed to turn into jelly and he had to support his back against a wall to maintain his balance. Trying to control the erratic beating of his heart and the knot in the back of his throat that prevented him from breathing, Ardeth closed his eyes.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Maybe if she didn't belong to another man... maybe she would have stayed.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Countless nights he had lain awake in his bed, praying for her safety, praying for having her back into his arms soon. Countless nights, the mighty, fearless warrior had cried himself to sleep.
He had fallen in love with her with his eyes wide open, knowing that she would eventually leave him to return to her man and had anticipated his pain; but now that she was truly gone, it amazed him realizing how raw the pain could be, how much despair could fill him every day that went by without seeing her.
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
Any attempt at doing anything but thinking about Jean failed more often than not. Jean. His Jean.
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
Nothing had been the same since she left. The need to take the first plane to New York and take her in his arms, beg her to return to the desert with him was starting to take the best of him.
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
He knew both their destinies were intertwined together. Ardeth also knew he had found in Jean a woman who could give him everything he needed in just a few words… in just one look.
Those charming green eyes had been able to see past the mask he showed the world, broken through his defensive armor and exposed him bare to the bone, wanting to get to know the flawed man he was. And, incredibly, he had enjoyed showing her his true self, sharing his secrets and fears with that remarkable woman.
He was sure Jean was the one. The woman he had always looked for, the woman that was destined for him; but fate was cruel to the Medjai Chieftain.
I
don't know why you're so far away,
But I know that this much is true,
We'll make it through,
And I hope you are the one I share my life with,
And I wish that you could be the one I die with,
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with,
I hope I love you all my life
I
don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand,
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away,
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today,
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right,
And though I can't be with you tonight,
You know my heart is by your side
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it,
I don't understand,
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way I can stay in your arms?
Suit forgotten, Ardeth nearly ran to the mall's exit as the last words began to fade. Once outside in the scorching sun, he looked around at the hectic street; hundreds of strangers surrounded him. Sighing heavily, he pulled his robe tightly round him, as if trying to comfort himself.
" Jean…" he whispered as he blended into the crowd.