Sorry for the lateness! Writer's block and school just started and and and DON'T HURT ME!!! Warning: Another song parody (I love them so)
And what made me get off my ass: (it's a conversation)
Josh: give jared a sword…
Josh: ::pleads::
Me: he has a staff
Josh: fuck that! Gandalf had a sword
Welcome to My World
Kayo
Chapter XV: Oh Dear
Shawn found himself reminiscing over the events that had taken place after Legolas had found the note stabbed to his front door. Jared had run into the bathroom while Shawn was just coming out, humming to himself a Reggie song as Jared burst in. "Megan'sbeenkidnappedbyfreakyElidh-Feredirandhe'sgoingtokillherifwedon'tgodowntown!" Shawn gave Jared a confused look, not being able to make any sense of what was being said.
"Put spaces between your words…" He stated as he ran a towel through his hair to dry it out.
"Megan's been kidnapped by freaky Elidh-Feredir and he's going to kill her if we don't go downtown!" Shawn dropped his towel and stared at Jared, disbelieving his best friend's words. Megan…with Elidh? No…he can't kill her! She's my little sister! And she's only five! And my dad is going to kill me!!!!!! Shawn ran out of the bathroom, only in a towel, to wear Nina and Chloe stood, gaping at the door.
"Where's Legolas??" Please don't tell me he ran off again! Chloe pointed back inside the house. As he ran back in, Chloe snapped out of her stupor to comment on Shawn's rippled abs. To this, Nina replied,
"Yaaaaaa ," and sighed. Shawn, however, was oblivious to the girls checking him out and saw Legolas searching his living room, looking desperately for something.
"Whoa there! Calm down! What are you doing??" A pillow was thrown off the couch as Legolas looked through the crevices for his plunder. Jared, however, entered the room carrying what Legolas sought.
My thoughts exactly Legolas, Jared smirked as Legolas nodded his head in approval. "Shawn, the note said Legolas couldn't bring any weapons (well technically it said if you, meaning Legolas because it was addressed to him), but nothing against US bringing weapons!" He handed Shawn the legendary Elven Blades of Doom. "Think you can hack off someone's arm and/or head?"
Shawn smirked evilly, "Of course."
When Nina and Chloe had come over the initial shock of their beloved little girl being stolen unfairly (although Chloe did say that the competition was thinning out) they approached Legolas with weapons of girly destruction.
You DO realize that you have to go out in public again? Nina and Chloe backed Legolas up to a wall. And you look too much like an Elf still… Legolas fully understood what this meant, but decided he'd rather not be tied down to a chair in order to be human-fied.
Sighing in defeat, he said, Do what you must, but make it quick. I want to save Megan as quickly as possible.
We know, Leggie-babe.
Please don't call me that…
I call you whatever I want, bitch!
"Bitch?" Legolas questioned Shawn and Jared. Shawn snickered and went into his room to once again provide clothes for the Elf-in-waiting. Jared went to search for Legolas's bow and quiver, somehow being misplaced in the chaos of the past few days. Nina and Chloe led Legolas into Shawn's room, discarding Shawn from his own closet and dresser.
"I swear, Nina, your boyfriend needs to buy some new clothes. These are so…pansy-ish."
"Screw you Chloe. You're just jealous that you can't get a guy like him." Chloe was digging through a draw when she opened up the next one and screamed, pointing at the draw with unbearable fright.
"What is it!??" asked Chloe. "A spider??"
"Worse," she went back to the draw and picked up what looked like a magazine. "It's porno."
Legolas stared at the magazine for a moment, then realized what was on the cover, and proceeded to blush madly and look away. Standing awkwardly in the corner of the room, the door was slammed into him by none other than Shawn, frantically wanting to know why his girlfriend had screamed.
"Was it a spider??" He asked, almost out of breath from running across the house.
"No, it was NOT a spider (why does everyone think that??), but I found a secret stash of yours in your draw," she said, holding up and waving the discriminatory magazines. Shawn clearly paled, unable to cope with what his girlfriend just had to find while looking for clothes for Legolas. Never again am I allowing girls to even set foot in my room. It was then he noticed the squashed Legolas behind the door, still with a shade of pink on his face, trying not to look too embarrassed, and failing miserably. Oh no, he's showing a moment of weakness!! Run, Fairy-boy, run! Before she…never mind. Chloe had made her way up to Legolas, with a magazine tucked under her arm.
She made her way closer and closer to Legolas, their faces only inches apart. Legolas had shifty eyes, trying to find something else to look at other than the pink haired girl's face and arm. But no such luck came to out Elf, when Chloe took the magazine and carefully placed it on top of his head. Why she did that, no one would ever know. The moral of this porno: don't leave your porno in such an obvious spot. It might end up on an Elf's head.
~*~
Why??? Cried Legolas, being pushed out the door. Sure he wanted to rescue Megan, but there was the whole public decency thing going on. Chloe and Nina gave a hard push to his back as Legolas locked his legs in the doorway, an unmovable Elf.
Because now you look like CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW! Shawn and Jared just gawked at the Legolas hack job that the girls claimed was "sexy." If Legolas thought the punk look was bad, the goth look was worse. Black. All black. He could deal with that. What he couldn't deal with was the heavy black eyeliner that surrounded both his eyes, along with fake earings dangling from his once beautiful pointy ears. This time, they dressed Legolas as a gothic man from hell.
While Shawn owned a very large selection of clothes, ranging from several different styles, the goth look was one that he did not prefer, though owned a couple odd black shirts that could be considered goth. The one that the girls from hell had chosen was a black sleeveless shirt with red dancing flames emitted from a skull, while tight leather pants had been forced upon the poor Elfling. His hair, while not having been cut, was shoved into a hat and put on backwards, covering his once again obvious Elven ears. And of course, there was the heavy eye liner.
Hey Legolas, shouted Jared, holding his staff with one arm, I see you've evolved into a new breed of Balrog. I like to call it, Elfrog. Legolas glared at the Istari. He couldn't care less that Jared was more powerful than himself, and most likely, very much older…older…
I would watch what you say, old man! Legolas retaliated. Chloe was laughing her ass off, slipping on the carpet and falling onto the floor with a thud. One girl down, one more to go.
"But Legolas!" Nina tried to reason, "If you don't wear a good disguise, people will recognize you and try to do naughty things to you, like in that porno magazine!" Catching most of the words, especially the newly learnt "porno" word, Legolas let himself be gracefully expelled from the doorway. Nina, of course, fell down on top of Chloe. The three guys outside just stared at the girls.
"Do you think they would look good in Playboy together?" Asked Jared.
"Very much so, my friend. Very much so."
~*~
"Every night with Leggie
I see him, I feel him
That is how I know he's the one
Far across his nudeness
And muscles and down there
Leggie's come to show off his bum
Near, far, wherever Leggie is
I believe that his hotness lives on
Once more, I opened the door
And he's naked in the shower
And his nakedness'll go on and on
Leggie can touch you one time
And it lasts for a lifetime
And never let go till we're pregnant
Lust was when I loved him
A couple minutes before I raped him
And my Leggie will always go on
Near, far, wherever Leggie is
I believe that his hotness lives on
Once more, I opened the door
And he's naked in the shower
And his nakedness'll go on and on
Leggie's here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my Elf will live on
We'll stay in Middle-Earth for all day
You are Leggie the Prince Greanleaf
And your nakedness'll go on and on~~"
Chloe finished her ballad to Legolas while she, Jared, Shawn, Nina, and of course, Legolas walked the streets of Edison, heading towards the infamous 1568 Adam Street.
"Why thank you Chloe for your rendition of Celine Dion. I hope you know that you've ruined that song for me," said Shawn as they walked down the side walk.
"Ah, you hated that song any way. The way I see it, I've made it better!"
Legolas was speechless for his body to be openly sung about in public. Then again, the public didn't know that he was Legolas, just some kid wearing freaky makeup, and attracting a lot of unwanted attention. Just before Chloe had broke out in song, two goth looking girls (both were wicked short compared to Legolas) came up to the group, asking for a picture with the "hot tall guy." Maybe they were tourists. Maybe they were stalkers. Maybe they were spies from the government to track down the slayer of the orcs (which were still being discussed and pondered over). Shawn didn't have the answers, but he didn't like that Legolas was becoming the hot guy of the day again.
Speaking of the "orc attacks" as they had been dubbed by the media, Shawn hadn't had time to check out the news to see what was happening up at the old high school of his. He didn't even dare go up there again, though he knew he would have to if Nina and Chloe wanted Legolas to go to school with them for a little while. Then Shawn would have to hack into the computers once again and hopefully not be caught by another acquaintance of olden days, possibly resulting in a life or death duel. Not the best idea in the word. But then again, the powers at be (Nina and Chloe) demanded it, and so it would be done.
Walking down the crowded streets of Edison, the group noted that it was almost mid-day, though the note didn't specify what time they had to be at 1568. Nina thought at first that the numbers could be a specific time, but seeing as how there was no such time as 15:68 (not even army time), that idea was ruled out. Jared could only presume that Elidh didn't care when they arrived, though that was obviously stupid. They would have the upper hand, being able to sneak in and surprise Elidh. There had to be more to it than that.
And more to it there was. Shawn noticed where they were headed and gave a loud groan. A perfect place to hide a little girl. 1568 Adam Street, also known as, Shbooms. Shbooms was a concert hall where various local and popular bands would play. What made it the perfect place to hide Megan was that there were almost a thousand or more people waiting in line to get into the tall tan building.
And then Shawn realized what made it the perfect place for Elidh to lead Legolas to. The sound! Legolas won't be able to deal with punk music being blared throughout the building! His ears are WAY too sensitive!! Even after telling Legolas this, he would not be deterred. He was going to find Megan and save her, even if it killed him (well, he didn't want to die, but he was willing to risk it!). Innocents should never be involved in personal disputes or revenge. And in this case, Elidh was having a major case of "revenge is sweet."
"Think we could sneak in through the back?" Nina looked around for guards. "The guards are mostly centered around the line right now. If we go to the other side, we could go in." Shawn rubbed his chin thoughfully.
"Even so, there'll be guards inside, backstage. We need to get them out too. Maybe by means of distraction…" The last word was slightly emphasized as the three males of the group stared at the two girls.
"Oh shite."
~*~
Legolas, Jared, and Shawn were hiding behind a parked car on the side of the road, pretty close to the emergency exit which for some reason had a guard near it. They figured that would be the best spot to go through because the guards inside would have to turn off the alarm so that no one would fret when the door was opened. Then they would get through the door before it closed, and hopefully find a nice hiding spot to figure out where Elidh and Megan were.
It all depended on how Nina and Chloe pulled off their distraction. Jared glanced at his watch. They should start their plan just about…
"Hey! Those are our tickets!"
"Give those back!"
"What the fuck do you think you're doing??!?"
Nina and Chloe, with nylons over their head, were running down the line of people, grabbing the tickets of people who were holding them out in the open. They made sure to start where the guards were, nearest to Legolas, then work their way up, and break out into a desperate run from the guards. Where they would go when they were being chased? Luckily, Jared was having some major magic powers returning, and gave them a magical cloak that made them invisible. (Shawn – "Seriously, Jared, you could be a little bit more original and stop taking ideas from Harry Potter." Jared – "You should give me more credit than that…I made them disappear! Shawn – "Good point.")
With many tall men clad in white shirts that said GUARD on them chasing down the two crazed fangirls, Shawn, Jared, and Legolas, dashed to the door one had just exited, catching it with the end of Jared's staff. Out of sight by the door, two more guards ran out as well, the people in line having become a bit rowdy. Jared glanced inside the hallway, and not seeing anyone, ran through. Legolas followed, as did Shawn in hot pursuit.
They were met by a red staircase leading both up and down, along with the first band warming up. With the first audible strum of the bass, Legolas's hands raised up to his ears, attempting to rid himself of the sound. Pity for the Elf. This is only the warm up. The bands get way louder than this. Figuring that they should split up and look for Megan in both directions, Jared went up stairs, heading for the balcony, while Shawn and Legolas headed down, towards the basement area.
Clutching the hilt of the Elven Blades of Doom, Shawn formed a cold sweat on his forehead. It wasn't that he was scared of Elidh. He was scared of what Elidh had done to Megan. Sick bastard. If he even touched her, he would be dead! Fueled by imagined anger, Shawn led the way into the dark void.
Legolas himself was a bit nervous. No weapons other than himself for protection. He didn't like the idea of being weaponless, but hopefully, if they played their cards right, Legolas could hide Shawn when they approached Elidh and attack him from behind, if at all possible. His Elven senses would alert him to any danger coming. A soft glow emanated from his body as they went deeper and deeper into the basement of Shbooms. Something draws near. I can feel it. A warning for a person to come.
tbc…
Responses to Reviews:
Das Blume: My fic has gone quite dramatic, hasn't it?? lol, sorry bout that everyone! It's supposed to be humor! (No, Jared can't see into the future. Though he wishes he could.) Fried Dough is either sugar or powdered sugar on basically, fried dough. I've never heard of it with melted sugar or cream…that's just odd, lol. Heehee, I want to have a one-shot chapter. I'll do it one day when I'm in a yaoi mood (then again, when am I not??) And as for the weather here: it's wicked hot in the summer, then cold for the rest of the year, lol. I live in New England, so it's expected.
Josh: Hey Josh, maybe YOU'RE the villain?? Maybe Elidh is the protagonist and you're actually one f*ed up bastard?? Hey, that's a good idea. Damn that I can't use it. Though in my one-shot with Shawn and Leggy ::ponders:: MWAHA! ::coughreggiecough:: I still don't know what movie that's from…haha, Jared the pimp. I can see that.
Lindiel Eryn: He's a meanie for impersonating Aragorn. Damn Aragorn look alike! Damnit! Stop guessing what happens (though you didn't think of Shawn and the Elven Blades of Doom © Kayo Inc.) I think Jack Sparrow was hotter. :P Just my opinion though. I heard from a friend he (Orlando) is going to be in a movie with Heath Ledger. Interesting.
RaptorRage: Elidh's not a bastard. He's a kind man at heart. I don't know how or why. But I feel I should defend him, lol. Wait, I got one thing: he's a loyal bastard! Maybe Batman will save Megan. Now THAT would be cool. ^_^
Velveteen: You are very *very* awesome for reviewing! I wonder, has Legolas ever looked in Galadriel's mirror? Hmm…I wonder. I know evil Frodo did. Damn hobbits. Except for Merry and Pippin, cos they're cool. Especially Merry. ^_^
namarie2legolas: hahaha, Orli is a pretty boy. But hey, love who you love! Cutter + Elfquest = me @.@ Wha?? I know nothing. Green beans…right…those are out in my garden…Plotting to take over the world. Green beans from hell I say! October?!? YOU SUCK! I wanna see Legolas as a vampire too…I think I know what I'm doing for my next fic! ^_^
tamara: I also really love Jack. Hence why my new nickname is Jack. And Molly's is Boot (for Bootstrap Bill). If only I could be a hot man like Jack….except not be a man. Never mind being the man, I just want Jack Sparrow, lol.
Dreamstrifer: Before I say anything, Legolas's appearance was based off that goth looking picture of Orlando that you showed me. I WANT THAT PICTURE AGAIN! I never saved it u_u. Yes, I prefer guys' hair and muscles. That's my area of lust. But I know several girls who check out guys' asses, and it is VERY disturbing. Not to mention I hate that whole area of a guy, though I can imagine it and not be like, GYAH! I'm a weird person…I HATE THAT DAMN CONRAD SONG!!!
Nina: Howie's makin an album?? But he sucks! Wow…he wasn't that good looking out of them. Brian was the best, though for some reason, I liked Nick back then. Hahaha, Megan a secret pyromaniac. Now I have to ask the real Megan that she is based off of! Lol, it's going to be a very random question during school, I can assure you that! Legolas about to go in assassin mode next chapter! Weee!
Sorry to leave you off with a cliffie! But look, it's a long chapter! I'm really sorry that it took me this long to get it done, but I had writer's block, and for some reason, the juices were flowing today (though I don't think that well). But anyways, since school has started, I'll try to have a chapter every week, but I might have a job, so add that to my schedule @.@ Whatever! Only a couple chapters to go! (Shbooms is NOT mine. I do not own Shbooms. I'm just not creative enough to make up a real place!)