Stupid
Rating: PG-13 for language
Pairings: Read on and see....
Spoilers: none, really
Disclaimers: None of these characters are mine, title and song lyrics borrowed from Sarah McLachlan's Afterglow album.
~ Night lift up the shades and let in the brilliant light of morning
But steady me now for I am weak and starving for mercy
Sleep has left me alone to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
And all I can do to hang on, to keep from falling into old familiar shoes ~
***
It had been a stupid argument that had quickly escalated into something much more serious, ending with Calleigh grabbing her coat and purse and slamming the door behind her.
She had just started driving, having no particular destination in mind but realizing that she really wanted a drink. Not usually one to drown her sorrows in alcohol, never wanting to fall into the same habits as her father, tonight she really just wanted to escape from reality for awhile.
She had ended up in a familiar bar and she was now working on her fourth drink.
The glint of the diamond on her left hand caught Calleigh's eye and she held it out in front of her, studying the gem thoughtfully.
Things had happened so quickly for them. Casual dating had turned to passionate lovemaking that made her wonder why it had taken her so long to give in to his advances.
It had just been easier to say no and keep pushing him away. Then she had suddenly been ready. Ready to forget about her last relationship and to let her heart heal at the same time.
The other reasons not to date him disappeared when she had admitted she was ready to move on. It didn't really matter that they worked together. They were professionals and it hadn't taken long for everyone to get used to the idea of them being a couple.
They kept a safe distance while they were working and made up for it when they were alone together at the end of the day.
After only four months of dating he had proposed and she'd accepted immediately. He had stolen her heart and she truly believed that he was the one for her...yet he was so different than most other men she'd dated.
She hoped that would be once reason this relationship would succeed where others had failed.
Then tonight, the differences in their character had hit her full force.
He had made a crack about her being barefoot and pregnant in about a year and she was shocked to realize he was serious. They had talked about having children before and she thought he understood she wanted to wait a few years.
And when they did have a child she wasn't planning on staying home for more than a couple of months. She wanted to work and when she mentioned it again he laughed, insisting she would feel differently when she set eyes on their first child.
Many women stayed home while their husbands went to work. It wasn't unheard of, he'd said. Some women would even be happy to give up their jobs, he'd claimed.
Somehow they had got to the topic of Calleigh changing her name. It had been something she'd been meaning to talk about at some point but when she informed him she would be keeping her name he exploded.
Not even asking her for a reason he had yelled at her, saying she was just being stubborn and he asked why she wanted to get married in the first place since she didn't want to take his name or have his children.
She'd shot back that maybe they should both rethink this, since all he wanted was someone who would stay at home and reproduce like some fucking rabbit. As she slammed the door behind her she couldn't help but think that her ex would never have said those words to her.
He knew her better than anyone, obviously even better than her fiancé. Sometimes she wondered if there was something they could have done to hold on to what they had instead of letting it turn to shit. It drove her crazy that at times like this she still thought of him. Right now she needed to fix her current relationship, not dwell on a past one.
~ How stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see ~
It had been a ridiculous fight she knew that now. They had both acted like children and all they needed to do was talk about things calmly and rationally.
Right now Calleigh realized she had no idea what to say to him. She suddenly had so many doubts and feared that maybe this marriage was destined for failure before it had even begun.
As she swallowed the rest of her drink and ordered another she discovered that it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on the other people in the bar.
She'd had way too much to drink.
A cab would be in order to take her home but right now she didn't want to leave. Her own bed would bring with it the need to miss him and ache to feel his arms around her.
He would be in his own apartment, no doubt thinking similar thoughts to her own.
Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision even more and she swallowed more of her drink, willing the alcohol to numb her brain, take away her anxiety.
"Hey Calleigh." Turning around in her seat, she was face to face with him. The one who got away.
She smiled at the cliched thought and he smiled back at her, his brown eyes twinkling.
"Fancy running into you here." She drawled.
"You're drunk."
"And you're painfully observant."
"It's okay, I've had a bit to drink myself. It'll be our little secret." Her heart leapt at the words, remembering another time when he'd said those words under different circumstances but it seemed so long ago now.
Looking into his eyes she realized how little it took for her to want him again. Her wish to forget about her fiancé had been granted, all she could think of now was the man in front of her and how much she longed to feel his lips on hers, to run her fingers through his unruly hair.
It would be a mistake she knew. She'd fallen for him before and what had it gotten her? He reached over and touched her cheek, gently wiping away a tear that glistened there.
"What's wrong Calleigh? You know you can tell me."
"I know, Tim." He reached for her hand then and she took it. "Why don't we go someplace quieter so we can talk?" She asked quietly. He nodded.
Asking the bartender to call them a cab, he guided her toward the exit and they stepped out into the night air.
Leaning against Tim for support as the world spun around her, she shivered as his hands went around her waist, steadying her.
Knowing what would undoubtedly happen next, she wondered if it would be worth it. She had so much to lose.
~Love has made me a fool set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak except to cry out and wait for your answer
and you come around in your time speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis that dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning in this desert without you ~
If you liked what you read, feedback is always appreciated...
Rating: PG-13 for language
Pairings: Read on and see....
Spoilers: none, really
Disclaimers: None of these characters are mine, title and song lyrics borrowed from Sarah McLachlan's Afterglow album.
~ Night lift up the shades and let in the brilliant light of morning
But steady me now for I am weak and starving for mercy
Sleep has left me alone to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
And all I can do to hang on, to keep from falling into old familiar shoes ~
***
It had been a stupid argument that had quickly escalated into something much more serious, ending with Calleigh grabbing her coat and purse and slamming the door behind her.
She had just started driving, having no particular destination in mind but realizing that she really wanted a drink. Not usually one to drown her sorrows in alcohol, never wanting to fall into the same habits as her father, tonight she really just wanted to escape from reality for awhile.
She had ended up in a familiar bar and she was now working on her fourth drink.
The glint of the diamond on her left hand caught Calleigh's eye and she held it out in front of her, studying the gem thoughtfully.
Things had happened so quickly for them. Casual dating had turned to passionate lovemaking that made her wonder why it had taken her so long to give in to his advances.
It had just been easier to say no and keep pushing him away. Then she had suddenly been ready. Ready to forget about her last relationship and to let her heart heal at the same time.
The other reasons not to date him disappeared when she had admitted she was ready to move on. It didn't really matter that they worked together. They were professionals and it hadn't taken long for everyone to get used to the idea of them being a couple.
They kept a safe distance while they were working and made up for it when they were alone together at the end of the day.
After only four months of dating he had proposed and she'd accepted immediately. He had stolen her heart and she truly believed that he was the one for her...yet he was so different than most other men she'd dated.
She hoped that would be once reason this relationship would succeed where others had failed.
Then tonight, the differences in their character had hit her full force.
He had made a crack about her being barefoot and pregnant in about a year and she was shocked to realize he was serious. They had talked about having children before and she thought he understood she wanted to wait a few years.
And when they did have a child she wasn't planning on staying home for more than a couple of months. She wanted to work and when she mentioned it again he laughed, insisting she would feel differently when she set eyes on their first child.
Many women stayed home while their husbands went to work. It wasn't unheard of, he'd said. Some women would even be happy to give up their jobs, he'd claimed.
Somehow they had got to the topic of Calleigh changing her name. It had been something she'd been meaning to talk about at some point but when she informed him she would be keeping her name he exploded.
Not even asking her for a reason he had yelled at her, saying she was just being stubborn and he asked why she wanted to get married in the first place since she didn't want to take his name or have his children.
She'd shot back that maybe they should both rethink this, since all he wanted was someone who would stay at home and reproduce like some fucking rabbit. As she slammed the door behind her she couldn't help but think that her ex would never have said those words to her.
He knew her better than anyone, obviously even better than her fiancé. Sometimes she wondered if there was something they could have done to hold on to what they had instead of letting it turn to shit. It drove her crazy that at times like this she still thought of him. Right now she needed to fix her current relationship, not dwell on a past one.
~ How stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see ~
It had been a ridiculous fight she knew that now. They had both acted like children and all they needed to do was talk about things calmly and rationally.
Right now Calleigh realized she had no idea what to say to him. She suddenly had so many doubts and feared that maybe this marriage was destined for failure before it had even begun.
As she swallowed the rest of her drink and ordered another she discovered that it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on the other people in the bar.
She'd had way too much to drink.
A cab would be in order to take her home but right now she didn't want to leave. Her own bed would bring with it the need to miss him and ache to feel his arms around her.
He would be in his own apartment, no doubt thinking similar thoughts to her own.
Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision even more and she swallowed more of her drink, willing the alcohol to numb her brain, take away her anxiety.
"Hey Calleigh." Turning around in her seat, she was face to face with him. The one who got away.
She smiled at the cliched thought and he smiled back at her, his brown eyes twinkling.
"Fancy running into you here." She drawled.
"You're drunk."
"And you're painfully observant."
"It's okay, I've had a bit to drink myself. It'll be our little secret." Her heart leapt at the words, remembering another time when he'd said those words under different circumstances but it seemed so long ago now.
Looking into his eyes she realized how little it took for her to want him again. Her wish to forget about her fiancé had been granted, all she could think of now was the man in front of her and how much she longed to feel his lips on hers, to run her fingers through his unruly hair.
It would be a mistake she knew. She'd fallen for him before and what had it gotten her? He reached over and touched her cheek, gently wiping away a tear that glistened there.
"What's wrong Calleigh? You know you can tell me."
"I know, Tim." He reached for her hand then and she took it. "Why don't we go someplace quieter so we can talk?" She asked quietly. He nodded.
Asking the bartender to call them a cab, he guided her toward the exit and they stepped out into the night air.
Leaning against Tim for support as the world spun around her, she shivered as his hands went around her waist, steadying her.
Knowing what would undoubtedly happen next, she wondered if it would be worth it. She had so much to lose.
~Love has made me a fool set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak except to cry out and wait for your answer
and you come around in your time speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis that dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning in this desert without you ~
If you liked what you read, feedback is always appreciated...