The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick
3. Living in Hell
A/N: This chapter is just like any other one. Probably not funny, but since when has this story ever been? If anyone's even reading this, sorry about lack of updates. And, btw, Christmas has already past and it is near the end of January. Just so you know.
Disclaimer: This is the 17th chapter, figure it out!
ON THE LAST CHAPPY, MALON AND ZELDA GO TO A SINGING SNOB FEST AND LILY, MALON'S SISTER, HAS SHE BEEN MAKING OUT WITH A GUY THERE? FIND OUT! (not)
King of Hyrule: Holy ratios!
Zelda: How come you always "invent" something that has to do with math?
King of Hyrule: Because it just-hey, how do you know it would have to do with math? Ratios could be a popular food, or a type of dance, or-
Zelda: It was already invented by Kafei!
King of Hyrule: Oh that little ba-I mean teacher.
Zelda: Gottagobye! Hey, that doesn't seem right. Something this morning is missing...
King of Hyrule: Things were different a millenium ago...hey, there IS something missing!
Zelda/King of Hyrule: *in unison* IMPAAAAAAA!!!!!
King of Hyrule: Oh well, time to watch some news! *turns on TV*
TV: We will be back to the show "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS-KingOfHyruleSucks after this newsflash!!!!!
Murderer, assulter, poisoner and the bodyguard of Bastard of Hyrule's daughter has escaped jail! We'd tracked her down at the castle of the dumbest king ever, but she spotted us and has escaped again! Keep your windows bolted, your doors shut/locked and your wits about you, because you'll need it! Suspect has been spotted around Lon Lon Ranch and Kakariko graveyard but she hasn't been caught yet! You will get 5 rupees if you catch her!
We now return to "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS- KingOfHyruleSucks!!!!!
Zelda: *sarcastically* 5 rupees, wow I'd want that...*is stunned and shocked suddenly* Omigosh, do you realize what just happened there????
King of Hyrule: I know!
Zelda: Can you believe it???
King of Hyrule: I can't believe they actually called me the suckiest king ever!
Zelda: The nerve of them!
Some mysterious voice: Blondes...*sighs*
Zelda: Who the fudge was that?????? Do you think its...
King of Hyrule: *gasps* The killer...? *both father and daughter freak out when they see someone banging on the window*
Zelda: Um, gotta go CYA! *runs away*
Outside, Malon is already waiting for Zelda, even though Talon said Malon couldn't meet up with Zelda anymore.
Zelda: Why are you here? I thought Talon-
Malon: I know, but I was ready early and wanted to talk. Did you hear about the killer who escaped?
Zelda: Yeah, I wonder who it is?
Malon: You don't know?? Blondes...*sighs*
Zelda: Did you happen to sneak into my house this morning?
Malon: No...Anyway the killer is so obviously Impa!
Zelda: Oh yeah! I'm so dense. *both walk off to school*
PERIOD 1: HYLIAN
Anju: I have nothing planned, so this is a free period! Just like social studies is! Now, um, socialize! Oh yeah, we have 2 new students! The first one is already here, the second one is coming soon.
Zelda: I hope it's a hot guy!
Malon: Me too!
Dekurina: Ewwww!
Saria: I'm over with you Dekurina! It had BETTER be a hot guy!
Dekurina: Fine then, a hot Deku guy!
Skull Kid: Is ThAt PoSsIbLe?
Dekurina: Shut up, you little specist kinda guy!
Link: I hope its a hot chick!
Skull Kid: Me ToO!
Justin: No girl would EVER go for you, SKD, so shut up!
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything.
Zelda: O.o
Anju: OK, her name is Marin Niram, so please make her welcome!
Link: I remember Marin from Link's Awakening...
Zelda: I'll finally know who this Marin girl is! And what is up with the palindrome names anyway?
The new girl, Marin walks in. She has reddish kinda hair, so it's a little like Malon's, except lighter.
Marin: Hi Link! Remember me?
Link: Yeah...
Anju: So anyway, lets continue with our, uh, socialization...
After lotsa boring crap...
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES
Nabooru: I have nothing worthy of doing for this class, but here's something fun! How about you go around and guess who everyone likes? Its fun, I swear! Heheheh...
Zelda: Romani! You like Tido!
Romani: Sick-o! Hey, Soda! Come over here!
Sodo: Its Sodo, not Soda! What is it?
Romani: Zelda here has a crush on you!
Zelda: You sick horse, cucco, whatever!
Romani: Huh?
Zelda: Fine then. You like Skull Kid!
Romani: AGHHHHHHHHH! I'm GoInG tO hAvE nIgHtMaReS!
Zelda: Awww, you're even talking like him! How cute!
Romani: Oops.
Zelda: Fine, then. You like Ruto! Kidding. You like Jerry!
Romani: Uh, I don't even know who the hell he is.
Zelda: I got a pictograph of him drinking Lon Lon milk, but its not developed! Then you'll know who your lover is...hehe
Romani: Unless he drinks Lon Lon milk like Link, then I don't actually care!
PERIOD 3: GYM
Terry: We've decided to end your torture, so you're only going to do a few more dance classes!!!!!! :D
Saria: Hey guys! I transferred to this class!
Zelda: Cool!
Saria: But Dekurina transferred too.
Malon: DEKURINA????? Hey, I actually got her name right!
Romani: *runs up, arm linked with Marin* Hey guys lets link arms and do the can-can! Start with your right foot!
Romani/Marin/Malon/Saria/Zelda: Can-can can you do the can-can-*Malon falls over and everyone else falls too*
Terry: *runs in after a small break, Terence is in the gym office* Hey people! Lets get dancing and do that thing where you meet in the middle! Smart? I know!
Most people switch spots with each other in the line so they get with the partners they wanted to get with. Zelda and Malon just got in line, they don't care...much. When they meet, Malon is with some kid named Dale Shopping(lol)...kidding! She's with Jim Bomber. Link is "mysteriously" paired up with the New Girl, Marin. Zelda's with "the hot guy"(see ch. 15)
Malon: *mouths to Zelda because she's in front of her* Your partner is sooooooo hot!
Zelda: *mouths back* I can't say the same for your partner!
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Jim is looking at her weird*
After that...
Terry: OK, now you have to find a partner for the next dance.
Marin gets asked by Mido Kokiri the second Terry is done speaking. Link asks Zelda and Malon is with Skull Kid. Saria is asked by Dodo.
Malon: *mouths to Zelda, who is nearby* Your new partner is really hot too!
Zelda: *mouths back* Your new partner, however, I can't say the same about.
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Skull Kid gets distracted and starts stepping on Malon's toes*
Terry: Now you have another partner dance! Lucky you!
Link "mysteriously" ends up with Marin, Malon is asked by Sodo, Zelda is asked by "the hot guy". Guess what Malon and Zelda say to each other?
After a lot of dancing, everyone heads to their Period 4 classes. Obviously.
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)
Lab Dude: *walks-or should I say wheels-in on a wheelchair. He's strapped with bandages and casts* Hello class, have you met the new girl, Marin Niram?
Everyone: Yes...
Lab Dude: OK, so, Missy with Lance, Andrew with Kimberly, Samantha with Gloria, Rachel with Nancy, Linda with Serge, Tommy-
Everyone: Huh?
Lab Dude: Oh, it's NOT first period? You guys aren't in grade 6? Oh! Anyway, I'm arranging a new seating plan! Suze with Romani, Dekurina with Link, Jim with Fado, Josh and Joel, Sodo with Layla, Zelda with Marin, Ruto by herself.
Marin: Sooooo...saw you dancing with the hot guy.
Zelda: Apparently you were dancing with a hot guy also. Well, not Mido Kokiri...
Marin: So THAT'S what the short guy's name is?
Lab Dude: It is currently 12°C and 50°F...
Marin: What is this guy's problem?
Zelda: You'll get used to it.
Lab Dude: I'll pour some water into a beaker and see how hot it is! Dekurina, could you please pour me a Dekalitre- [CC: A dekalitre, by the way, is a freakin lot for a beaker, I think LD's trying to piss her off]
Dekurina: STOP IT! I HATE IT! MY NAME IS FREAKING DEKURINA! *is suddenly hushed* I said a bad word...
Marin: You sure I'll get used to this?
Zelda: I have...sorta...
Layla: Have you seen Crossroads, Suze? Saria and Rayla have seen it, but the Deku Tree said I was too immature to watch it.
Suze: I had to walk out because it was too inappropriate. Someone said 'heck' and my best friend said we had to leave. That was during the previews. She said that if previews were that inappropriate, just imagine the movie! Saria said she didn't like the part where Kit comes to see her boyfriend with Mimi where bad stuff happened in LA, which means Language Arts so that's weird and Saria thought I was weird but she is because she said LA is a place called Los Angeles in some foreign country and blablabla...
Layla: Forget I asked...
PERIOD 4: MATH (for Malon)
[By the way, Saria skipped this period cuz it sucks. She's a lot different when Dekurina's not around, that's for sure!]
Kafei: New seating plan! Malon sit with Rayla, Mido sit with Tido, Saria and Pamela, Tim and Skull Kid, Jerry and Justin, Dodo is all by his little self.
Dodo: WHY MEEEEEEEEEE? I wanted to sit by Gloria or Rachel! Oops, they're in gr. 6, but still cute!
Malon: Dodo, no girl would survive sitting by you.
Pamela: If you care about them and their sanity, you wouldn't want them to sit by you.
Everyone: OKKKKKKKKK...
Some kid with black hair and a red cap walks in.
Kafei: I guess this is the new kid, right?
Some kid with black hair and a red cap: Yeah.
Kafei: Um, please remove your cap. And, uh, what's your name again?
SKWBHAARC: Chris Ash.
Kafei: OK, everyone meet Chris Ash! Let's make him welcome! So Chris Ash, you can sit by the ugly guy in green clothes all by himself, his name's Dodo cuz he's a dodo, I guess. His marks are proof.
Dodo: Thats not funny!
Chris Ash: My name's Chris, my last name is Ash. And do I have to sit there?
Kafei: I guess not, so lets make rows! Front row is Dodo, Justin, Jerry, Skull Kid and Tim. Back row is Malon, Rayla, Mido, Tido, Saria and Pamela. Squeeze in between Rayla and Mido if you can, OK?
Chris: Sure, whatever. *sighs with relief when he passes Dodo*
Kafei: And so you know, there's also an upcoming Valentine's Day dance/Suzanne Hawkins dance, girls ask guys, which is, uh, today after school. Sorry, the principal kinda sucks.
Pamela: My best friend Suze Ann Orphan is famous?
Kafei: No, its Suzanne Hawkins!
Pamela: I don't see the difference...
Jerry: Can I transfer to the other class?
Kafei: Why, may I ask, Jim?
Jerry: I'm Jerry! Anyway, just cuz of personal reasons...OK, I admit, I don't want to sit by Skull Kid!!!!
Skull Kid: YoU'rE hUrTiNg My FeElInGs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Hey where did the ones come from? I mean, HeY wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?
Everyone: Shut it SKD!
Skull Kid: NoT fUnNy!
Kafei: OK, we need to switch someone from the other class then... *runs into the Lab Dude's class, they have a small discussion, Kafei comes back with a student* OK, Sodo, you're sitting next to Skull Kid Du-I mean Skull Kid, Jerry, you're going to the other class. You sit by Layla.
Jerry: Actually, I prefer to stay in th-
Kafei: Shut up!
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember whe-
Everyone: WE REMEMBER, TIDO!!!!!
So the changes are made, and it is now...
LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 (HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?)
Rayla: *walks to Saria's locker* Hey, how come you weren't in math?
Saria: Cuz I was, uh, some other place.
Rayla: It is sooooo obvious you were skipping! Don't worry, I skip all the time!
Saria: **How'd she know?**
Romani: *passing a bunch of lockers* Hey Malon! Hey Zelda! *walks over* What's that in your locker Malon?
Malon: Oh, that's a pictograph of Lily in a dumb gibdo mask and I'm giving her bunny ears and Talon's there and Ingo's taking the pic.
Romani: Funny. See you guys in the caf! *so everyone goes to the cafeteria. Duh.*
In the cafeteria...
Romani: I'm now available, I was going out with a guy, but I dumped him. ;)
Zelda: Really?
Romani: Yeah...OK I ADMIT! He dumped me and it hurts so much! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Malon: I think Zelda mean't 'you were going out with someone'?
Zelda: Yeah!
Romani: Darn, ratted myself for nothing...anyway, I was with Joel, but now I'm not and I don't have a date for the dance!!!
Zelda: What dance?
Romani: Oh, they didn't tell you? Anyways, girls ask guys, cuz its a Suzanne Hawkins V-Day dance, which is today after school for 2 hours.
Pamela: My best friend's famous?
Romani: Screw off loser!
Josh: Me and Link will be back, OK?
Malon: Yeah sure!
Rayla: I wish there were half-decent guys at our school, I mean seriously! Ugh!
Saria: *whispers in case the 2 guys hear* There's still Link.
Malon: He's impossible though!
Saria: There's also the new kid...but we don't know if he's not as cool as he seems yet.
Zelda: Why does Hyrule have to be so freakin uncivilized and filled with ugly guys!!! ARGH!!!!!!!
Malon: That sounds like my fav saying: 'Guys are like parking lots. The good ones are taken and-' Oops I can't remember the rest.
Dekurina: You guys are losing it over pathetic guys?
Girls (including Saria): What's it to you Dekalina?
Fado: Yeah Dekalitre...science is going to my head...
I think you know what happens next...anyway guys come back and all's good...
Some 6th grade kid (think ch. 10 people!): *talking to Zelda* Hey will you go out with me! *starts laughing*
Zelda: **him again????** Hell no I'm too good for a dumb shit like you! *walks off to her next class which is...*
PERIOD 5: ART (or is it?)
Some grey-haired lady with pigtails and a black eye (actually two) trying to act young and preppy: Hi class! That fat dude Rauru is SOOOOOO totally outta here and I'm like teaching cosmetology! Isn't like that the totally great greatest?
Guys: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: Come on, we could all learn some totally great skin care lessons! My name is Apmi Aikuzus Okirakak!
Zelda: You look like someone I know, and the name is somehow familiar...
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: *turns red* Uh, no I don't, like, ya know?????
Zelda: Grey hair, looks like she has a black eye...terrible actor...
Malon: My daddy!
Zelda: Nooooo, it's IMPA!
No one moves.
Zelda: Do the descriptions of a murderer who taught foods and home ec who escaped jail come to mind?
Everyone starts to spaz out and run all over the place except for Chris Ash...I mean Chris and Marin. Then they remember the news and start to spaz out too. Impa is knocked into a stove and starts a fire. Anju runs in and pours "Evian" then also spazzes out at the sight of an escaped murderer.
Guards: *break down door* Apmi Aeekuzus Aoikiralkak, your under arrest!
Impa: *sighs*
Guards come in and take Impa away.
Marin: Is every day this eventful?
Link: Sadly, yes...
Joel: OK, I am definitely going to transfer schools or at least moving back to Termina!
Marin: I'm moving back to Koholint Island!
Chris: I'm moving back to Holodrum!
Link: I'm moving back to-oh no, I'm stuck here in Hyrule!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: YOU? I'm the one who has her as a bodyguard!!!
Malon: I feel sooooo sorry for you!
Zelda: Oh my goddesses, she broke into the castle this morning! She's the one who was making fun of blondes!
Link: Blondes rule!
Malon: Blondes rule-wait a sec, I'm a redhead!
Romani: Rednecks rule! Oops, I mean redheads!
Nabooru and Ganon: *run in* Red hair rules!
Rayla: Brunettes rule!
Saria: Green hair rules! What, it's true!
Kafei: *runs in* Indigo hair rules!
Impa: *from other side of the door* Grey hair rules! *gets beat up by guards*
Ruto: Bald blue heads that are shaped dementedly--*everyone looks at her weird* --rules. What?
Jim: Bombers rule!
Joel: No they don't! I'm quitting!
Jerry: Me too!
Justin: Me three!
Josh: Me-wait a sec, I already quit!
Malon: Way to change the subject Jim! Is that good or bad?
PERIOD 6: SCIENCE (for Malon)
Pamela: *in a forced, erm, 'flirty' voice* Hey Chris, have you ever heard of Christmas Island?
Chris: Uh, no...
Pamela: I wouldn't be surprised if they named it after such a cute guy like you...*sucks end of pencil trying to look hot, does not succeed*
Chris: O.o
Pamela: We could go to Christmas Island together...*giggle* But for now, wanna come to the Valentine's Day dance with me?
Chris: Hold on a second. *turns to Rayla* Wanna go to the dance with me?
Rayla: I thought girls were supposed to ask guys, but sure!
Chris: OK. *turns to Pamela, speaks in a forced apologetic voice* I'm sorry, I'm already going with Rayla.
Pamela: Awww, I was hoping...*runs with Dekurina who had been turned down by Jerry to the bathroom*
Jerry: OK, I'm totally getting a name change! *marches into office proudly, turns on intercom*
::ON INTERCOM::
King Zora: What are y--*gag*
Jerry: Shut it, fatty!
::OFF INTERCOM::
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. R-
Malon: Give it up!
::BACK ON INTERCOM::
Jerry: Guess what? *stands there for twenty minutes. Everyone is waiting, and WAITING...and W.A.I.T.I.N.G...* Well, arentcha gonna say what? anyway, my momma gave me a permit to change me name! Off to Kakariko I go!
King Zora: *strangled gags*
Jerry: Ah quiet dumbass! [CC: I apologize KZ fans...]
::OFF INTERCOM::
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember when we-
Everyone ignores him.
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*
Everyone: OK...
The door suddenly is thrown open. Jerry walks in wearing a heavy leather jacket, shades and lots of necklaces. His hair is rock hard and spiky with an overload of blue gel (3/4 of the bottle at least) 4 punk guys are standing behind him, confused.
Jerry: *sounding like he's punk or something* Hey, sup? I got a slammin new name, Jason to be exact. I'm with muh new pals, the Sums. (think Sum 41!) I'm Sum number 41. Cool neh?
Deriyck: *mumbles in confusion* I don't think we're in Canada anymore...
Stevo: Hey man your school sucks. So we're gonna walk back to Canada and be 'Still Waiting'.
The 'Sums' go away. Duh.
Jerry-I mean Jason: Hey guys, wait! Oh well, what am I gonna do with these junky leather threads?
Dekurina: *walks in* *sniffs* Oh, hey Jerry, you reconsider yet?
Jason: Shut up stupid wh-
Pamela: Some of us are only in grade 3 ya know.
Jason: You mean 'sum' of us! Anyway, Dekurina, ya don't even know my freakin name! Shut up and go ta hell!
Dekurina: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs again*
Tido: Uh, we-
Everyone: Tido, WE FREAKIN KNOW ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SKD: YeAh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*
Everyone: OK...
Romani: *whispers to Zelda* I've got a date for the dance! :)
Zelda: Whoa, that was fast. Who is it?
Romani: Jer-I mean Jason! He is really hot!
Zelda: Uh huh...
Romani: Well, now that he's quit the Bombers he looks different, ya know, kinda like Josh!
Zelda: Oh, I haven't seen him yet!
Kafei: Shut up children! (Thank the goddesses Tido's not in that class!)
After lotsa boring review, period 6 ends.
Malon: *runs past Zelda's locker*Hey, I hear there's a killer dance club down in Hyrule Market town! Wanna scope it out tonight?
Zelda: OK, sure cuz it is Friday... I hope there's hot guys!
Saria: AWWWWWW! I wanna come! I have Kokiri class then!
Malon: Maybe next time...oh well, I'll come to your house Zelda!
Zelda: Yeah, I could go there every night!
Malon: Beats hangin with Impa...
Zelda: Aw man, I forgot bout that.
At Zelda's house...er, I mean castle...
King of Hyrule: Guess what? Our school has a new employee!
Zelda: OK...
King of Hyrule: I'll let you meet him!
Behind the door, you can hear the king urging the employee to come outside and the person is complaining. Finally the king comes in.
King of Hyrule: Zelda, meet our new janitor...Ganondork-I mean dorf!
Zelda: O.o
Ganon: How embarrassing...who cares! Mr. King, I'm so honored to have this job!
King of Hyrule: No prob. By the way, call me Humphrey.
Zelda: **How come daddy never told ME his real name?**
Ganon: guess what, my name is Humphrey too! [CC: If you've ever read me and Convex Kirby's story 'A Bad Fight with a Good Ending' b4 it got deleted, you'd know what I'm talking about.'] Humphrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din!
[OPTIONAL SCENE: Cutout from Bad fight w/ good ending]
"Get out of my face, asshole! And screw you!" Zelda yelled back. "I'm telling!" Saria yelled, then ran off. "Oh god," Zelda said. Under Ganon's Ruins. "Say what? That's how you escaped the dark realm? Cool," Link said. "Oh, beating those guys up was easy. After all, I am the Gr-uh oh, I think your friends ran off without you!" Ganon said. "Oh, shit. Say, can you give me a ride. Mr. Ganondorf?" Link asked. "Sure, and call me Humpfrey, my real name. Well, its really Humpfrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din! Just don't tell anyone that. Hop on!" Ganondorf.I mean 'Humpfrey' said. Ganondorf swished out of the ruins and then they went right by Malon. "STOP!" Link yelled. Ganondorf stopped. "This is my house! Stop! Let me in," Link said, and he hopped off. "G'bye, Link," Ganondorf said. "G'bye, Humpfrey *snicker*," Link said, then walked by Malon. "Don't make any wise cracks about that!" Ganondorf yelled, then threw a Deku Nut and disappeared.
[END OF OPTIONAL SCENE]
King of Hyrule: What a mouthful.
Zelda: I'll say.
King of Hyrule: Oh Zel, you're still here?
Zelda: FINE THEN! Go be best friends with that fag, see if *I* care! *runs off to watch the movie Space Jam cuz she's bored to death*
Impa: Aren't you supposed to be practising for the annual "Impa Suzukia Kakariko" spelling bee?
Zelda: **I don't wanna do that! Gotta cover up before she stuffs me in the microwave...**
Impa: I've been considering the freezer too.
Zelda: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh well, I, uh, I'm watching an educational movie!
Impa: About basketball?
Zelda: it has lots of spelling in it! *jumps to the part where the pig I forget his name suggests a spelling bee for the chance to defend themselves, cuz its a DVD*
Impa: Yes, only that part. Where were u?
Zelda: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight here...
[Movie scene]
Little red alien guy: We're the "Monstars"! M-O-N...uh...
[end of movie scene]
Zelda: O.o
Impa: That's it little missy. Why don't you go join ganondorf aka mista ultra-hottie and the king in their tea party?
Zelda: SICK! You like g-dork? He's a fag who has tea parties with my daddy!
Impa: So whats it to you?
Malon: *phones Zelda, dad answers phone*
King of Hyrule: I'm sorry, Zelda can't answer the phone right now. She is practising for the spelling bee and I am in the middle of talking to the new janitor named Ganondorf over tea, after all it is 4:00! Impa is drooling over G-dorf right now, so you can't talk to her either. Either I can put our dog on or you can call later.
Malon: *over phone* I'll call, uh, never again, thanks. *hangs up* **Zelda in a spelling bee? An escaped murderer drooling over the evilest guy in the world, who happens to be a janitor having tea with the king? I'd better get Zelda out of that freak show, and fast!**
END OF CHAPTER
CC: Stay tuned for the nightclub! Uh, all 4 now...and PLEASE REVIEW! I don't care if it's a flame, I seriously honestly really need reviews or I am going to cry...uh, bye...
3. Living in Hell
A/N: This chapter is just like any other one. Probably not funny, but since when has this story ever been? If anyone's even reading this, sorry about lack of updates. And, btw, Christmas has already past and it is near the end of January. Just so you know.
Disclaimer: This is the 17th chapter, figure it out!
ON THE LAST CHAPPY, MALON AND ZELDA GO TO A SINGING SNOB FEST AND LILY, MALON'S SISTER, HAS SHE BEEN MAKING OUT WITH A GUY THERE? FIND OUT! (not)
King of Hyrule: Holy ratios!
Zelda: How come you always "invent" something that has to do with math?
King of Hyrule: Because it just-hey, how do you know it would have to do with math? Ratios could be a popular food, or a type of dance, or-
Zelda: It was already invented by Kafei!
King of Hyrule: Oh that little ba-I mean teacher.
Zelda: Gottagobye! Hey, that doesn't seem right. Something this morning is missing...
King of Hyrule: Things were different a millenium ago...hey, there IS something missing!
Zelda/King of Hyrule: *in unison* IMPAAAAAAA!!!!!
King of Hyrule: Oh well, time to watch some news! *turns on TV*
TV: We will be back to the show "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS-KingOfHyruleSucks after this newsflash!!!!!
Murderer, assulter, poisoner and the bodyguard of Bastard of Hyrule's daughter has escaped jail! We'd tracked her down at the castle of the dumbest king ever, but she spotted us and has escaped again! Keep your windows bolted, your doors shut/locked and your wits about you, because you'll need it! Suspect has been spotted around Lon Lon Ranch and Kakariko graveyard but she hasn't been caught yet! You will get 5 rupees if you catch her!
We now return to "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS- KingOfHyruleSucks!!!!!
Zelda: *sarcastically* 5 rupees, wow I'd want that...*is stunned and shocked suddenly* Omigosh, do you realize what just happened there????
King of Hyrule: I know!
Zelda: Can you believe it???
King of Hyrule: I can't believe they actually called me the suckiest king ever!
Zelda: The nerve of them!
Some mysterious voice: Blondes...*sighs*
Zelda: Who the fudge was that?????? Do you think its...
King of Hyrule: *gasps* The killer...? *both father and daughter freak out when they see someone banging on the window*
Zelda: Um, gotta go CYA! *runs away*
Outside, Malon is already waiting for Zelda, even though Talon said Malon couldn't meet up with Zelda anymore.
Zelda: Why are you here? I thought Talon-
Malon: I know, but I was ready early and wanted to talk. Did you hear about the killer who escaped?
Zelda: Yeah, I wonder who it is?
Malon: You don't know?? Blondes...*sighs*
Zelda: Did you happen to sneak into my house this morning?
Malon: No...Anyway the killer is so obviously Impa!
Zelda: Oh yeah! I'm so dense. *both walk off to school*
PERIOD 1: HYLIAN
Anju: I have nothing planned, so this is a free period! Just like social studies is! Now, um, socialize! Oh yeah, we have 2 new students! The first one is already here, the second one is coming soon.
Zelda: I hope it's a hot guy!
Malon: Me too!
Dekurina: Ewwww!
Saria: I'm over with you Dekurina! It had BETTER be a hot guy!
Dekurina: Fine then, a hot Deku guy!
Skull Kid: Is ThAt PoSsIbLe?
Dekurina: Shut up, you little specist kinda guy!
Link: I hope its a hot chick!
Skull Kid: Me ToO!
Justin: No girl would EVER go for you, SKD, so shut up!
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything.
Zelda: O.o
Anju: OK, her name is Marin Niram, so please make her welcome!
Link: I remember Marin from Link's Awakening...
Zelda: I'll finally know who this Marin girl is! And what is up with the palindrome names anyway?
The new girl, Marin walks in. She has reddish kinda hair, so it's a little like Malon's, except lighter.
Marin: Hi Link! Remember me?
Link: Yeah...
Anju: So anyway, lets continue with our, uh, socialization...
After lotsa boring crap...
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES
Nabooru: I have nothing worthy of doing for this class, but here's something fun! How about you go around and guess who everyone likes? Its fun, I swear! Heheheh...
Zelda: Romani! You like Tido!
Romani: Sick-o! Hey, Soda! Come over here!
Sodo: Its Sodo, not Soda! What is it?
Romani: Zelda here has a crush on you!
Zelda: You sick horse, cucco, whatever!
Romani: Huh?
Zelda: Fine then. You like Skull Kid!
Romani: AGHHHHHHHHH! I'm GoInG tO hAvE nIgHtMaReS!
Zelda: Awww, you're even talking like him! How cute!
Romani: Oops.
Zelda: Fine, then. You like Ruto! Kidding. You like Jerry!
Romani: Uh, I don't even know who the hell he is.
Zelda: I got a pictograph of him drinking Lon Lon milk, but its not developed! Then you'll know who your lover is...hehe
Romani: Unless he drinks Lon Lon milk like Link, then I don't actually care!
PERIOD 3: GYM
Terry: We've decided to end your torture, so you're only going to do a few more dance classes!!!!!! :D
Saria: Hey guys! I transferred to this class!
Zelda: Cool!
Saria: But Dekurina transferred too.
Malon: DEKURINA????? Hey, I actually got her name right!
Romani: *runs up, arm linked with Marin* Hey guys lets link arms and do the can-can! Start with your right foot!
Romani/Marin/Malon/Saria/Zelda: Can-can can you do the can-can-*Malon falls over and everyone else falls too*
Terry: *runs in after a small break, Terence is in the gym office* Hey people! Lets get dancing and do that thing where you meet in the middle! Smart? I know!
Most people switch spots with each other in the line so they get with the partners they wanted to get with. Zelda and Malon just got in line, they don't care...much. When they meet, Malon is with some kid named Dale Shopping(lol)...kidding! She's with Jim Bomber. Link is "mysteriously" paired up with the New Girl, Marin. Zelda's with "the hot guy"(see ch. 15)
Malon: *mouths to Zelda because she's in front of her* Your partner is sooooooo hot!
Zelda: *mouths back* I can't say the same for your partner!
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Jim is looking at her weird*
After that...
Terry: OK, now you have to find a partner for the next dance.
Marin gets asked by Mido Kokiri the second Terry is done speaking. Link asks Zelda and Malon is with Skull Kid. Saria is asked by Dodo.
Malon: *mouths to Zelda, who is nearby* Your new partner is really hot too!
Zelda: *mouths back* Your new partner, however, I can't say the same about.
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Skull Kid gets distracted and starts stepping on Malon's toes*
Terry: Now you have another partner dance! Lucky you!
Link "mysteriously" ends up with Marin, Malon is asked by Sodo, Zelda is asked by "the hot guy". Guess what Malon and Zelda say to each other?
After a lot of dancing, everyone heads to their Period 4 classes. Obviously.
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)
Lab Dude: *walks-or should I say wheels-in on a wheelchair. He's strapped with bandages and casts* Hello class, have you met the new girl, Marin Niram?
Everyone: Yes...
Lab Dude: OK, so, Missy with Lance, Andrew with Kimberly, Samantha with Gloria, Rachel with Nancy, Linda with Serge, Tommy-
Everyone: Huh?
Lab Dude: Oh, it's NOT first period? You guys aren't in grade 6? Oh! Anyway, I'm arranging a new seating plan! Suze with Romani, Dekurina with Link, Jim with Fado, Josh and Joel, Sodo with Layla, Zelda with Marin, Ruto by herself.
Marin: Sooooo...saw you dancing with the hot guy.
Zelda: Apparently you were dancing with a hot guy also. Well, not Mido Kokiri...
Marin: So THAT'S what the short guy's name is?
Lab Dude: It is currently 12°C and 50°F...
Marin: What is this guy's problem?
Zelda: You'll get used to it.
Lab Dude: I'll pour some water into a beaker and see how hot it is! Dekurina, could you please pour me a Dekalitre- [CC: A dekalitre, by the way, is a freakin lot for a beaker, I think LD's trying to piss her off]
Dekurina: STOP IT! I HATE IT! MY NAME IS FREAKING DEKURINA! *is suddenly hushed* I said a bad word...
Marin: You sure I'll get used to this?
Zelda: I have...sorta...
Layla: Have you seen Crossroads, Suze? Saria and Rayla have seen it, but the Deku Tree said I was too immature to watch it.
Suze: I had to walk out because it was too inappropriate. Someone said 'heck' and my best friend said we had to leave. That was during the previews. She said that if previews were that inappropriate, just imagine the movie! Saria said she didn't like the part where Kit comes to see her boyfriend with Mimi where bad stuff happened in LA, which means Language Arts so that's weird and Saria thought I was weird but she is because she said LA is a place called Los Angeles in some foreign country and blablabla...
Layla: Forget I asked...
PERIOD 4: MATH (for Malon)
[By the way, Saria skipped this period cuz it sucks. She's a lot different when Dekurina's not around, that's for sure!]
Kafei: New seating plan! Malon sit with Rayla, Mido sit with Tido, Saria and Pamela, Tim and Skull Kid, Jerry and Justin, Dodo is all by his little self.
Dodo: WHY MEEEEEEEEEE? I wanted to sit by Gloria or Rachel! Oops, they're in gr. 6, but still cute!
Malon: Dodo, no girl would survive sitting by you.
Pamela: If you care about them and their sanity, you wouldn't want them to sit by you.
Everyone: OKKKKKKKKK...
Some kid with black hair and a red cap walks in.
Kafei: I guess this is the new kid, right?
Some kid with black hair and a red cap: Yeah.
Kafei: Um, please remove your cap. And, uh, what's your name again?
SKWBHAARC: Chris Ash.
Kafei: OK, everyone meet Chris Ash! Let's make him welcome! So Chris Ash, you can sit by the ugly guy in green clothes all by himself, his name's Dodo cuz he's a dodo, I guess. His marks are proof.
Dodo: Thats not funny!
Chris Ash: My name's Chris, my last name is Ash. And do I have to sit there?
Kafei: I guess not, so lets make rows! Front row is Dodo, Justin, Jerry, Skull Kid and Tim. Back row is Malon, Rayla, Mido, Tido, Saria and Pamela. Squeeze in between Rayla and Mido if you can, OK?
Chris: Sure, whatever. *sighs with relief when he passes Dodo*
Kafei: And so you know, there's also an upcoming Valentine's Day dance/Suzanne Hawkins dance, girls ask guys, which is, uh, today after school. Sorry, the principal kinda sucks.
Pamela: My best friend Suze Ann Orphan is famous?
Kafei: No, its Suzanne Hawkins!
Pamela: I don't see the difference...
Jerry: Can I transfer to the other class?
Kafei: Why, may I ask, Jim?
Jerry: I'm Jerry! Anyway, just cuz of personal reasons...OK, I admit, I don't want to sit by Skull Kid!!!!
Skull Kid: YoU'rE hUrTiNg My FeElInGs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Hey where did the ones come from? I mean, HeY wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?
Everyone: Shut it SKD!
Skull Kid: NoT fUnNy!
Kafei: OK, we need to switch someone from the other class then... *runs into the Lab Dude's class, they have a small discussion, Kafei comes back with a student* OK, Sodo, you're sitting next to Skull Kid Du-I mean Skull Kid, Jerry, you're going to the other class. You sit by Layla.
Jerry: Actually, I prefer to stay in th-
Kafei: Shut up!
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember whe-
Everyone: WE REMEMBER, TIDO!!!!!
So the changes are made, and it is now...
LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 (HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?)
Rayla: *walks to Saria's locker* Hey, how come you weren't in math?
Saria: Cuz I was, uh, some other place.
Rayla: It is sooooo obvious you were skipping! Don't worry, I skip all the time!
Saria: **How'd she know?**
Romani: *passing a bunch of lockers* Hey Malon! Hey Zelda! *walks over* What's that in your locker Malon?
Malon: Oh, that's a pictograph of Lily in a dumb gibdo mask and I'm giving her bunny ears and Talon's there and Ingo's taking the pic.
Romani: Funny. See you guys in the caf! *so everyone goes to the cafeteria. Duh.*
In the cafeteria...
Romani: I'm now available, I was going out with a guy, but I dumped him. ;)
Zelda: Really?
Romani: Yeah...OK I ADMIT! He dumped me and it hurts so much! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Malon: I think Zelda mean't 'you were going out with someone'?
Zelda: Yeah!
Romani: Darn, ratted myself for nothing...anyway, I was with Joel, but now I'm not and I don't have a date for the dance!!!
Zelda: What dance?
Romani: Oh, they didn't tell you? Anyways, girls ask guys, cuz its a Suzanne Hawkins V-Day dance, which is today after school for 2 hours.
Pamela: My best friend's famous?
Romani: Screw off loser!
Josh: Me and Link will be back, OK?
Malon: Yeah sure!
Rayla: I wish there were half-decent guys at our school, I mean seriously! Ugh!
Saria: *whispers in case the 2 guys hear* There's still Link.
Malon: He's impossible though!
Saria: There's also the new kid...but we don't know if he's not as cool as he seems yet.
Zelda: Why does Hyrule have to be so freakin uncivilized and filled with ugly guys!!! ARGH!!!!!!!
Malon: That sounds like my fav saying: 'Guys are like parking lots. The good ones are taken and-' Oops I can't remember the rest.
Dekurina: You guys are losing it over pathetic guys?
Girls (including Saria): What's it to you Dekalina?
Fado: Yeah Dekalitre...science is going to my head...
I think you know what happens next...anyway guys come back and all's good...
Some 6th grade kid (think ch. 10 people!): *talking to Zelda* Hey will you go out with me! *starts laughing*
Zelda: **him again????** Hell no I'm too good for a dumb shit like you! *walks off to her next class which is...*
PERIOD 5: ART (or is it?)
Some grey-haired lady with pigtails and a black eye (actually two) trying to act young and preppy: Hi class! That fat dude Rauru is SOOOOOO totally outta here and I'm like teaching cosmetology! Isn't like that the totally great greatest?
Guys: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: Come on, we could all learn some totally great skin care lessons! My name is Apmi Aikuzus Okirakak!
Zelda: You look like someone I know, and the name is somehow familiar...
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: *turns red* Uh, no I don't, like, ya know?????
Zelda: Grey hair, looks like she has a black eye...terrible actor...
Malon: My daddy!
Zelda: Nooooo, it's IMPA!
No one moves.
Zelda: Do the descriptions of a murderer who taught foods and home ec who escaped jail come to mind?
Everyone starts to spaz out and run all over the place except for Chris Ash...I mean Chris and Marin. Then they remember the news and start to spaz out too. Impa is knocked into a stove and starts a fire. Anju runs in and pours "Evian" then also spazzes out at the sight of an escaped murderer.
Guards: *break down door* Apmi Aeekuzus Aoikiralkak, your under arrest!
Impa: *sighs*
Guards come in and take Impa away.
Marin: Is every day this eventful?
Link: Sadly, yes...
Joel: OK, I am definitely going to transfer schools or at least moving back to Termina!
Marin: I'm moving back to Koholint Island!
Chris: I'm moving back to Holodrum!
Link: I'm moving back to-oh no, I'm stuck here in Hyrule!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: YOU? I'm the one who has her as a bodyguard!!!
Malon: I feel sooooo sorry for you!
Zelda: Oh my goddesses, she broke into the castle this morning! She's the one who was making fun of blondes!
Link: Blondes rule!
Malon: Blondes rule-wait a sec, I'm a redhead!
Romani: Rednecks rule! Oops, I mean redheads!
Nabooru and Ganon: *run in* Red hair rules!
Rayla: Brunettes rule!
Saria: Green hair rules! What, it's true!
Kafei: *runs in* Indigo hair rules!
Impa: *from other side of the door* Grey hair rules! *gets beat up by guards*
Ruto: Bald blue heads that are shaped dementedly--*everyone looks at her weird* --rules. What?
Jim: Bombers rule!
Joel: No they don't! I'm quitting!
Jerry: Me too!
Justin: Me three!
Josh: Me-wait a sec, I already quit!
Malon: Way to change the subject Jim! Is that good or bad?
PERIOD 6: SCIENCE (for Malon)
Pamela: *in a forced, erm, 'flirty' voice* Hey Chris, have you ever heard of Christmas Island?
Chris: Uh, no...
Pamela: I wouldn't be surprised if they named it after such a cute guy like you...*sucks end of pencil trying to look hot, does not succeed*
Chris: O.o
Pamela: We could go to Christmas Island together...*giggle* But for now, wanna come to the Valentine's Day dance with me?
Chris: Hold on a second. *turns to Rayla* Wanna go to the dance with me?
Rayla: I thought girls were supposed to ask guys, but sure!
Chris: OK. *turns to Pamela, speaks in a forced apologetic voice* I'm sorry, I'm already going with Rayla.
Pamela: Awww, I was hoping...*runs with Dekurina who had been turned down by Jerry to the bathroom*
Jerry: OK, I'm totally getting a name change! *marches into office proudly, turns on intercom*
::ON INTERCOM::
King Zora: What are y--*gag*
Jerry: Shut it, fatty!
::OFF INTERCOM::
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. R-
Malon: Give it up!
::BACK ON INTERCOM::
Jerry: Guess what? *stands there for twenty minutes. Everyone is waiting, and WAITING...and W.A.I.T.I.N.G...* Well, arentcha gonna say what? anyway, my momma gave me a permit to change me name! Off to Kakariko I go!
King Zora: *strangled gags*
Jerry: Ah quiet dumbass! [CC: I apologize KZ fans...]
::OFF INTERCOM::
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember when we-
Everyone ignores him.
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*
Everyone: OK...
The door suddenly is thrown open. Jerry walks in wearing a heavy leather jacket, shades and lots of necklaces. His hair is rock hard and spiky with an overload of blue gel (3/4 of the bottle at least) 4 punk guys are standing behind him, confused.
Jerry: *sounding like he's punk or something* Hey, sup? I got a slammin new name, Jason to be exact. I'm with muh new pals, the Sums. (think Sum 41!) I'm Sum number 41. Cool neh?
Deriyck: *mumbles in confusion* I don't think we're in Canada anymore...
Stevo: Hey man your school sucks. So we're gonna walk back to Canada and be 'Still Waiting'.
The 'Sums' go away. Duh.
Jerry-I mean Jason: Hey guys, wait! Oh well, what am I gonna do with these junky leather threads?
Dekurina: *walks in* *sniffs* Oh, hey Jerry, you reconsider yet?
Jason: Shut up stupid wh-
Pamela: Some of us are only in grade 3 ya know.
Jason: You mean 'sum' of us! Anyway, Dekurina, ya don't even know my freakin name! Shut up and go ta hell!
Dekurina: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs again*
Tido: Uh, we-
Everyone: Tido, WE FREAKIN KNOW ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SKD: YeAh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*
Everyone: OK...
Romani: *whispers to Zelda* I've got a date for the dance! :)
Zelda: Whoa, that was fast. Who is it?
Romani: Jer-I mean Jason! He is really hot!
Zelda: Uh huh...
Romani: Well, now that he's quit the Bombers he looks different, ya know, kinda like Josh!
Zelda: Oh, I haven't seen him yet!
Kafei: Shut up children! (Thank the goddesses Tido's not in that class!)
After lotsa boring review, period 6 ends.
Malon: *runs past Zelda's locker*Hey, I hear there's a killer dance club down in Hyrule Market town! Wanna scope it out tonight?
Zelda: OK, sure cuz it is Friday... I hope there's hot guys!
Saria: AWWWWWW! I wanna come! I have Kokiri class then!
Malon: Maybe next time...oh well, I'll come to your house Zelda!
Zelda: Yeah, I could go there every night!
Malon: Beats hangin with Impa...
Zelda: Aw man, I forgot bout that.
At Zelda's house...er, I mean castle...
King of Hyrule: Guess what? Our school has a new employee!
Zelda: OK...
King of Hyrule: I'll let you meet him!
Behind the door, you can hear the king urging the employee to come outside and the person is complaining. Finally the king comes in.
King of Hyrule: Zelda, meet our new janitor...Ganondork-I mean dorf!
Zelda: O.o
Ganon: How embarrassing...who cares! Mr. King, I'm so honored to have this job!
King of Hyrule: No prob. By the way, call me Humphrey.
Zelda: **How come daddy never told ME his real name?**
Ganon: guess what, my name is Humphrey too! [CC: If you've ever read me and Convex Kirby's story 'A Bad Fight with a Good Ending' b4 it got deleted, you'd know what I'm talking about.'] Humphrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din!
[OPTIONAL SCENE: Cutout from Bad fight w/ good ending]
"Get out of my face, asshole! And screw you!" Zelda yelled back. "I'm telling!" Saria yelled, then ran off. "Oh god," Zelda said. Under Ganon's Ruins. "Say what? That's how you escaped the dark realm? Cool," Link said. "Oh, beating those guys up was easy. After all, I am the Gr-uh oh, I think your friends ran off without you!" Ganon said. "Oh, shit. Say, can you give me a ride. Mr. Ganondorf?" Link asked. "Sure, and call me Humpfrey, my real name. Well, its really Humpfrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din! Just don't tell anyone that. Hop on!" Ganondorf.I mean 'Humpfrey' said. Ganondorf swished out of the ruins and then they went right by Malon. "STOP!" Link yelled. Ganondorf stopped. "This is my house! Stop! Let me in," Link said, and he hopped off. "G'bye, Link," Ganondorf said. "G'bye, Humpfrey *snicker*," Link said, then walked by Malon. "Don't make any wise cracks about that!" Ganondorf yelled, then threw a Deku Nut and disappeared.
[END OF OPTIONAL SCENE]
King of Hyrule: What a mouthful.
Zelda: I'll say.
King of Hyrule: Oh Zel, you're still here?
Zelda: FINE THEN! Go be best friends with that fag, see if *I* care! *runs off to watch the movie Space Jam cuz she's bored to death*
Impa: Aren't you supposed to be practising for the annual "Impa Suzukia Kakariko" spelling bee?
Zelda: **I don't wanna do that! Gotta cover up before she stuffs me in the microwave...**
Impa: I've been considering the freezer too.
Zelda: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh well, I, uh, I'm watching an educational movie!
Impa: About basketball?
Zelda: it has lots of spelling in it! *jumps to the part where the pig I forget his name suggests a spelling bee for the chance to defend themselves, cuz its a DVD*
Impa: Yes, only that part. Where were u?
Zelda: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight here...
[Movie scene]
Little red alien guy: We're the "Monstars"! M-O-N...uh...
[end of movie scene]
Zelda: O.o
Impa: That's it little missy. Why don't you go join ganondorf aka mista ultra-hottie and the king in their tea party?
Zelda: SICK! You like g-dork? He's a fag who has tea parties with my daddy!
Impa: So whats it to you?
Malon: *phones Zelda, dad answers phone*
King of Hyrule: I'm sorry, Zelda can't answer the phone right now. She is practising for the spelling bee and I am in the middle of talking to the new janitor named Ganondorf over tea, after all it is 4:00! Impa is drooling over G-dorf right now, so you can't talk to her either. Either I can put our dog on or you can call later.
Malon: *over phone* I'll call, uh, never again, thanks. *hangs up* **Zelda in a spelling bee? An escaped murderer drooling over the evilest guy in the world, who happens to be a janitor having tea with the king? I'd better get Zelda out of that freak show, and fast!**
END OF CHAPTER
CC: Stay tuned for the nightclub! Uh, all 4 now...and PLEASE REVIEW! I don't care if it's a flame, I seriously honestly really need reviews or I am going to cry...uh, bye...