TITLE: Follow The Directions
AUTHOR: Jacinta
SUMMARY: Josh, Leo, a rental car and Margaret's directions.
SPOILERS: Nothing specific
CHARACTERS: Josh and Leo
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, just borrowing them to give Josh and Leo some much
needed time away from the office.
"Margaret. Which exit do we take...... yeh I know you did, I forgot them........ no, they're on my desk.... Can you just tell me the exit....... thank you." Leo hangs up his cell phone. "16," he tells Josh.
"You forgot the directions?" Josh asks as he drives past exit 14.
"Don't you start, I've enough with Margaret."
"And where do we go from the freeway?"
Leo sighs and calls Margaret back. "Where do we go from the freeway?.......Yeh..... I can remember......Okay, thanks." Leo laughs as he hangs up the phone.
"What?"
"She says it's easy to find if you follow the directions."
"Well there's another for the Margaret museum," Josh grins. "Hang on a minute, that was 13."
"So we're three away."
"No, 'cos the last one was 14."
"Oh for God's sake, Josh," Leo sighs.
"Hey I'm just driving, I'm not the one......"
"Come off at the next exit and turn round."
Twenty minutes later. "Which way?" Josh asks.
"Something about going up the hill."
Josh rolls his eyes. "Phone Margaret."
"She gets stropy."
"Leo, just phone her or we're going to be driving round here all night."
"It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon."
"That's my point," Josh grins.
"Fine I'll phone her." Leo takes out his cell phone and dials his office number. "Hey, Margaret."
"Are you there yet?"
"No, we're still looking for it. We came off the freeway where you said."
"And you took the second turn on the left, then the first on the right, past the church, up the hill and take the second right turn after the gas station."
"Yeh, I think we did something like that. I thought you said this was easy to find?"
"It is."
"Second right turn after the gas station?"
"Yes. Then there's a car dealership, turn right and then left and you can't miss it, it's on the left. "
"Okay." Leo hangs up and glances at Josh. "Did we pass a gas station?"
"No."
"How about a church?"
"About half a mile back. Should we head back to the freeway and start again?"
"No. Go back to the church."
"How do you know it's the right church?"
"Well we can at least ask for directions."
"I guess," Josh replies dubiously.
"What?"
"Well, when she gives you the directions wouldn't it be a good idea to write them down?"
"I am not calling her back."
"So we're just going to take the second right after every gas station we see?"
"Pull over."
"What?"
"Pull over."
"Okay," Josh pulls to the side of the road and stops.
"You call Margaret, I'll drive."
"Because?"
"I'm your boss."
"And you're scared of your assistant?" Josh suggests.
"Yeh," Leo mutters as he climbs out of the car and they swap seats. "What you doing?" he asks, as Josh rummages around in the back of the car.
"I need a pen and paper from my backpack."
"You can actually find stuff in there?"
"Yes, provided Donna hasn't been routing." Josh sits in the passenger seat with his backpack on his knee. "Okay, go back to the freeway and we'll start again," he tells Leo as he retrieves a notepad and a biro from the depths of the backpack and throws the bag back onto the back seat.
Leo adjusts the driver's seat and turns the car around, while Josh phones Margaret.
"Hey, it's Josh."
"Oh God, you're not still lost?"
"Yeh. We're going back to the freeway and we'll start again. Can you give me the directions."
"Have you got a pen and paper?"
"Yeh."
"They're still lost," Josh hears Margaret say. "They're completely hopeless."
"Shouldn't be allowed out without some kind of supervision," he hears Donna reply.
"Margaret," Josh says, "You do know that the mute button doesn't work on your phone don't you?"
"Oh. Right, the directions." Margaret reads out the directions, again, and Josh writes them down. "Read them back to me," she instructs.
"I've got them."
"Read them back."
Josh reads back what he's just written down.
"Good. Phone me when you get there," Margaret tells him.
"Yes, mom," Josh grins as he hangs up.
"You wouldn't have said that if we weren't a thousand mile away," Leo smiles.
"Take the first right," Josh instructs. "What are we doing now?" he asks as Leo pulls to a stop.
"I didn't think it was good idea to drive with a flat."
"I'll call the auto club."
"You can't change a wheel?" Leo grins.
"I'm sure I could if I really had to, but the car rental included membership of a breakdown service so......."
"Get the spare wheel."
"Which will be where?" Josh asks.
"Seriously?" Leo asks with a smile. "It'll be in the trunk, with the tools."
"There's no need for the 'talking to an idiot' voice. At least I can remember directions," Josh mutters as he opens the trunk, removes the lining, which he's impressed he didn't have to ask about, and takes out the spare wheel, the jack and the wheel brace.
As Leo jacks the car up and starts to remove the wheel nuts, Josh asks, "Is this going to be one of those 'seemed like a good idea at the time' things?"
"Why?" Leo asks.
Josh shrugs, "I dunno, I was just imagining CJ spinning 'White House Chief Of Staff maimed in freak wheel changing accident'." As Leo stops what he's doing and glares up at Josh, Josh smiles nervously, "More likely to be the deputy who's maimed isn't it?"
"Answer my phone," Leo instructs.
"Hey, Margaret."
"Where are you?" she asks.
"We've got a flat."
"Oh God, he's changing it himself."
"Yeh."
"Ring me when he can't do it and I'll call the auto club for you."
Thirty minutes later, with Josh driving again, they've just passed the church and gone up the hill. "What the hell does that say?" Leo asks as he struggles with Josh's shorthand.
"Wouldn't it have been easier if you'd driven?"
"I changed the wheel."
"Yeh, which I'm very impressed with."
Leo looks at him. "You are?"
"Yeh."
"Waiting for it to fall off?" Leo asks.
"Maybe a little. Second right," Josh reads.
"Will you watch the road."
"You asked me what it said."
"It was rhetorical. Go right at that car dealership and then next left."
Josh follows the instructions and makes the last left turn. "Okay, well apparently now we can't miss it."
"Keep driving."
Ten minutes later, "You think we missed it?" Josh asks.
Leo takes out his cell phone and dials. "Margaret, we turned right at the Ford dealers and then left. Where is it?"
"The Chrysler dealership," Margaret amends.
"Right," Leo hangs up. "Stop and turn round. Should have been right at the Chrysler dealership."
"You know the president's going to hear about this don't you?" Josh asks.
"And guess who's fault it's going to be?"
"Yours," Josh says. "'Cos I'm the one who had the sense to write down..... I'll shut up."
"You need to go right here, you went left last time," Leo points out.
Josh turns right, then left and past the Ford dealers. He turns at the Chrysler dealer and then takes the next left. "See, we can't miss it."
"The bunting a bit of a give away?" Leo asks.
"Yeh, but the real clue is the 300 secret service agents. We are going back on Air Force One aren't we?"
"Someone has to take the rental car back to the airport."
"By someone you mean me?"
"Yeh," Leo smiles.
Josh pulls up where the Secret Service point him to. "This was your fault. You wanted to meet Elliot," Josh starts to protest, then he sighs, "I'll take the blame and the car."
Josh and Leo climb out of the car and walk across the street. "Mr President."
Jed smiles, "CJ, cancel the call to search and rescue."
"Funny," Leo smiles.