Author's Note 09-04-07: I apologize in advance to any Big fans. I was a pointless Big hater when I wrote this. Silly, really.

Chapter Three - Sonic's Stupid Error

Amy was humming to herself and braiding Knuckles' dreadlocks. She had him chained to a chair, and he was squirming desperately, trying to get out. Sonic was pouting about the dress and make-up he was wearing. Big (who was eventually found) was calmly staring into oblivion, wearing a big pink frilly dress and enough make-up that the color of his face rivaled that of Reala from NiGHTS into Dreams.

"Amy, please, for the love of all things good on Mobius... Let me go!!" Sonic wailed. "Please? You let Tails go!"

Amy didn't look up from braiding. "Oh, Sonic," she said calmly. "Don't freak out so much. It's not so bad. Plus, Tails got me some more company in exchange for letting him leave."

"Company?" Sonic shrieked. "More like victims!" He got up and looked in the mirror. "Geez, I look like a freakin' clown!" Knuckles struggled to free himself from the chains again. "Ugh! Lemme go! I don't need your hell charms attached to my head!"

Amy sighed. "You guys make this sound like some sort of evil I'm doing to you." She took out a purple ribbon and tied a big bow to keep the braid together. "See Knuckles? It isn't so bad, am I right?"

"Hmmmmff, I guess," Knuckles grumbled. His tough-guy manly image was dissolving with every ribbon Amy tied into his red dreadlocks. Sonic paced around and around. Escape was a stupid idea; Amy would just come after them and do worse. God, she'd probably kiss Sonic. And the day Amy kissed him would be the day he'd start going nutzo.

"So, Big," Sonic began, rambling up some sort of odd start at a conversation. "Umm, how's the fishin' these days?"

"Duhhhhh, it's pretty good," Big replied in his fat, lame-o voice. Sonic noticed Amy had even tied ribbons on Big's fishing rod. He drew back in slight disgust. He had a new nickname for Amy in his mind now, other than "It". He'd call her the "Pink Slime from Hell". Anyway...

"Duhhhhh...I got my pally Froggy with me so every-thing is okay," Big continued in a tone Sonic guessed was the best his lame-o voice could manage as happy or excited. It was difficult to read emotion when talking to Big. Big was like a fat, goofy-looking statue, whereas Tails was more like a fountain statue. Stab him with an insult and you'd have a complete waterworks.

Knuckles was finally released from the chair, and Amy shoved him into a cheerleader outfit. He groaned. "Why the cheerleader outfit?" he demanded. "Why not something normal?"

"What, you wanted a skirt and blouse?" Amy asked.

"Nah," Sonic said, smiling a little. "He wants a bikini!"

Amy's eyes lit up. "Wow! Sonic! What a great idea! I'll get all you guys and make you help me try on beachwear!"

"Shit," Sonic thought. "Why is everything always my fault...?"