It was just another sunny, summery Port Charles morning with cheerful rays of sun peeking through curtains and flowers blooming on terraces. Birds sang joyfully and the streets were busy with smiling people. The world was a walking musical of delight except for inside one particularly dirty apartment. Zander Smith cursed as he stubbed his toe for the tenth time that week on the broken end of his couch. Muttering growls under his breath he cracked open his kitchen window just enough to catch the scent of breakfast wafting from Kelly's and the excited sounds of children passing by. He scowled deeper. There was something wrong with the world when it was this happy. Things weren't supposed to go well in this part of New York and he didn't trust when they did. At a rather exuberant childish squeal he was half tempted to throw his coffee mug down at them but forcefully resisted. Instead he took a hearty swig of the acidic black oil and grimaced at the rancid gritty taste. It hadn't been a recent brew of coffee; and if he remembered correctly it dated a week old. He shook his head, reluctantly sniffing the fragrant air. Maybe Kelly's wasn't such a bad idea.

Throwing on his old black leather coat he caught a glimpse of himself before he headed out the door. He hadn't shaved lately, having been too caught up with cases at work and a deeply etched 30 year old face frowned back at him. He was the first to admit he looked haggard and too aged for his youth. He shrugged to himself; what did he care if he looked grungy or old? He had no one to impress. Deep inside he felt a familiar pang that he couldn't bring himself to name. There was a hollow loneliness that caused him to ignore the mirror everyday and bury himself at work. He couldn't get climb out of it no matter how he hard he tried. Inside his head his lost love's name echoed down his chest to rattle around his empty heart.

Almost violently he swore again and tore out the door, slamming it behind him. He wasn't gonna allow memories to distract him. He was an adult now; albeit a miserable, lonesome one. His work was all he had, though enforcing the laws was something he hadn't ever expected to. When his gangster days had run their course and he was tired of the drama and pain of the fast lane, he decided wanted something steady to keep him busy. And since crime and its dealings were the only things he knew, joining the police force had come as a natural choice. It was even gratifying to see some of the thugs he used to deal with finally be brought to justice. When Mac Scorpio retired from the role of police commissioner, Zander's impeccable record and drive had gotten him the job almost immediately. That's all his life was these days.

He stalked into Kelly's, pulling his collar up and swooping down on his favorite table, far away from everyone else. He signaled to the waitress who scuttled over, poured his coffee and hurried away without another word. All the employees knew the drill; they were to stay out of his way and he would tip generously. But after all, who's gonna bother the police commissioner? Stretching his long legs underneath the table, he picked up the paper and absently shuffled through it. There was rarely anything in it he didn't already know. His eyes were drawn to a certain announcement and his stomach twisted into unexpected knots. It read- Prince Nikolas Cassadine and Dr. Emily Quartermaine-Cassadine welcome the birth of their first child. Princess Paige Morgan Cassadine was born July 15-

Zander threw down the newspaper vehemently, stamping his dirty boots on it angrily, the fact that he was affected by it making him even angrier. A voice in front of him asked amusedly,

"Bad article?"

Courtney Matthews, formerly Quartermaine and Morgan, smiled at him tentatively. She was one of the few people who was never afraid to approach Zander since he'd turned to the straight and narrow. Zander motioned her to take a seat and coughed,

"Uh, yeah, you could say that."

She picked up the now torn paper despite his protests and sighed as she read it. She nodded,

"I figured that's what it might be. Wow, you look like crap, Zander."

"You're no peach yourself," he snapped but grinned reluctantly. They had both been through their share of trouble brought on by the mob, wrong choices and lost loved ones. Courtney had never quite regained her natural glow since her marriage to Jason Morgan had gone kaput. She lacked her old vibrancy and often looked pale and tired. The binge of painkillers and alcohol she had fell into again after her divorce had left its toll. She still managed a smile, no matter how wan; something Zander couldn't claim. Courtney patted his hand in the old, friendly manner they were comfortable with.

"Are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, sure, why wouldn't I be? Ancient history, that's all that is," he scoffed. She didn't look convinced.

"Yes but its your ancient history," she said softly. "You and I both know how hard it is to get over some things."

"Hey I'm fine," Zander held his hands up. "I've got a successful career and look what you've done with Kelly's. You've made more business than Bobbie did in years of ownership. You're a real entrepreneur these days."

Courtney looked around her affectionately and rubbed her arms as she embraced it. She shrugged,

"I just love this place. This is where I got my start and when I worked here, even in all my delusions of happiness, I was content. When I worked here I had hope. So now owning this place just gives hope. Do you have any, Zander?"

"Hope?" His brown eyes widened at the skepticism in the though. "I don't have time for hope. My life's got a strict purpose and hope's not exactly a requisite."

Courtney nodded and sipped her coffee quietly.

"Remember when I was new in town? You were one of the first people to extend a hand to me. I've always been grateful for that."

"Yeah well, when I first came to Port Charles, there was a couple people who did the same for me. I think its good karma to keep the chain going."

"Somehow you don't strike as the kind of person who would believe in that mumbo jumbo," she laughed, the smile lighting up her face and reminding him of the young girl she was when they met.

"I didn't until I woke up one morning, thought of all the lives I've helped ruin and then looked in the mirror. I'm telling you-karma's just another word for payback and payback will always be a bitch."

Courtney sighed,

"I know. Look at what's happened to us, Zander. Where did we lose sight of what was good for us?"

Zander locked his arms behind his head and his face grew softly thoughtful.

"Well, Court, our downfalls probably came with love. Who we chose to love, more importantly."

"Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I hadn't learned I was a mob boss' sister and then married his bodyguard. Do you ever wonder stuff like that?"

"Sure. Who doesn't? I wonder why I ever kidnapped a little rich girl in the first place and then why did I fall in love with her? I think people like you and me who get caught up in other people's lives and choices will always live with regrets."

Courtney's blue eyes looked honestly into his and they twinkled.

"That's what I love about you, Zander. We understand each other and it's not like we're good buddies or anything. But when we do share company, it feels like you're my best friend. Hey, here's a thought. Maybe we knew each other in a past life or alternate reality."

Zander stood, feeling much lighter than when he had enetered the restaurant.

"Keep dreaming, Courtney. Neither of us believes in that stuff.