England ~ Thirty days after Chosen
The sun was high and the sun was blue. Buffy sat in the middle of the big yard in the grass. Her heart felt like stone. Not because she had closed it, but because she had lost him. He was gone. She left him to die and he did. Suddenly she heard footsteps.
"Buffy?" Dawn asked, but Buffy didn't answer. "A-are you okay?"
"I don't know" Buffy said. She fiddled with the blades of grass.
"It's okay to hurt" Dawn said, sitting down also.
"Is it? What's the point? I shouldn't be surprised, every man I've ever cared about left, Angel, Scott, Parker, Riley. . ." Buffy said.
"And now Spike" Dawn said. "D-did you, love him?"
"What does it matter?" Buffy asked rhetorically. "Nothing matters anymore, I'm, I'm supposed to be happy, I-I finished my destiny, it's fulfilled, so why aren't I?"
"Do you miss Spike?" Dawn asked.
"You have no idea" Buffy said tearfully. "It's strange, I-I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love with him, I told myself I wasn't, but he just. . .touches me in a way no one could, not even Angel, I mean Angel was the love of my life, how can I love them both?"
"I guess you're heart, once it finds love, no matter how much it has stored, it makes room for more, Buffy, Spike gave up his life to save the world, he died for a good cause" Dawn said.
"Yeah, I guess we have something in common after all huh? You know he used to tell me that, you know that we had something in common, the darkness, the shadows, the death, and he was right, we were both creatures of the darkness, and it didn't matter what side we were fighting on, we've always had that connection, always, and I tried to make it go away, tried to not see it, but even I'm not that sightless, I know, I always did" she said, not looking at Dawn.
"Come inside Buffy, it's getting cold" Dawn said. "I'll make you some soup, come nice hot soup, with crackers." Dawn smiled sweetly at her big sister and Buffy looked up at her.
"Okay" she smiled back and got up and Dawn took her hand and led her back into the big house. Since Sunnydale was destroyed Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Faith, Andrew and Kennedy moved to England with Giles. They entered the house and Buffy sat at the kitchen table and Dawn went to the cabinet and got out some soup and poured it in a pan and turned on the stove.
"Hey B" Faith said, coming into the kitchen.
"Hey" Buffy said quietly.
"What's up, why the sour puss?" Faith asked.
"She misses Spike" Dawn informed her.
"I'm okay, I just. . ." Buffy said, but thankfully Willow came into the kitchen with Kennedy.
"Hey guys, we're going for a walk, want to come with?" Willow asked.
"Uh, no thanks Will, I'm looking to get really drunk" Faith said.
"Dawnie, Buff?" Willow asked.
"Um, yeah, but I was making soup for-" Dawn began.
"No, it's okay, you go, have a good time, I'll be okay" Buffy said.
"A-are you sure?" Dawn asked.
"Muchly" Buffy said. Dawn hugged her.
"Be back in a bit" Kennedy said and they left. Faith left also. Buffy turned off the stove and went up to her room and laid down. She was just too tired to think, or doing anything.
*Buffy's flashback*
Spike: I can feel it Buffy
Buffy: What?
Spike: My soul, it's really there
*End*
Buffy shook the thoughts out of her head but they kept flooding back.
*Another flashback*
Spike: Got to move lamb, fair to say school's out for bloody summer
Buffy: Spike!
Spike: I mean it, I got to do this (hold out his hand to stop her and she takes it and they flame together)
Buffy: I love you
Spike: No you don't, but thanks for saying it
*End*
Buffy shook the thoughts away once more. She could feel the tears starting to come and couldn't go there again. She spent most of her first couple of days in England crying. She didn't want to do it again. She walked back downstairs into the living room to find Xander.
"Hey Xand" Buffy said, trying to sound cheerful. She wasn't the only one with pain around here. Since Anya died he's been in just as much grief as her, maybe more.
"Hey" he said.
"How ya feeling?" she asked, sitting down with him.
"I'm honestly not sure" he said, switching the TV channel.
"I know how you feel" she offered, he looked at her.
"Really, I can't see how, I mean I lost the love of my life, you lost a vampire who should have been put down years ago" he said coldly. She glared at him, now angry.
"You know Anya wasn't exactly little miss Angel either, Spike had no choice but to be a monster, Anya did, she chose it" she said just as cold.
"Yeah, right, and she changed" Xander said.
"So did Spike! He died to save the world, do you even remember that!" Buffy shouted.
"It's different, I loved Anya, you just miss Spike because you miss getting off and getting away with it" he said harshly. She looked at him, tears starting to form and got up and walked away. He looked on after her and his face expression changed from angry to regret for saying that to her. She was one of his best friends, how could he be so insensitive?
Buffy walked up to her room and slammed the door. She flopped on her bed and began to cry, just for a second. Then she got up and packed some stuff. She was going to L.A. to see Angel. She wanted to know what the hell that amulet was. She had talked to him about sixteen days ago, but she didn't ask him about it. She was in too much pain. She got her suitcase and went downstairs.
"Where are you going?" Xander asked, following her to the kitchen. She got out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.
"L.A." was all she said.
"Look Buff, I'm sorry, I'm just upset, I never meant to-" he began.
'Forget it" she said, still not looking at him. She finished the note and put it on the fridge.
"Why are you going to L.A., to see Angel?" he asked.
"Yeah, I need some answers" she said and began to walk away again.
"Buff" he said and grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt your feelings."
"It's okay, I know you're grieving" she said.
"And I know you are, you're going about Spike aren't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, look just make sure that the others see that note okay, I have to go" she said and hugged him and then left.
Los Angeles ~ Same time period
"Spike if you don't stop that I'm going to-" Angel began.
"What? You're going to what?" Spike said arrogantly.
"Well this for one thing" Angel said and punched Spike in the nose.
"Oh, bloody hell!" he shouted and held his nose, Angel smiled.
"You're corporeal now so. . .it's a lot more fun this way" he said, still smirking. Spike hit him back, soon they were in a fight.
"Uh, guys? Guys!" Fred said, stopping them.
"Hey Fred, what's the what?" Angel asked, still holding Spike in a headlock.
"We have work to do" confirmed.
"Right" Angel said and let go of Spike. "What work?"
"We still have to figure out why this amulet was keeping Spike here, why it still is even though he's corporeal" Fred said.
"Yeah, right, lets do that, 'cause the sooner Spike leaves the happier I'll be" Angel said.
"The happier we'll both be mate, do you think I like this, staying here, at least when I was a ghost I could haunt you and you couldn't do anything, if I'm corporeal, I want to see Buffy, be with her" Spike said.
"Okay, uh, come with me" Fred said and Spike followed her to her lab.
"You're not going to like cut me open are you, 'cause got to tell you lamb, I'm not too keen on that" Spike said.
"No, don't worry" Fred said and hooked him up to some monitors.
"What are these then?" he asked.
"Um, well I'm testing you and Angel, seeing if there's something in common, you know two vampires, both with souls, and then I'm also testing the amulet" Fred said.
"Okay, do it" Spike told her. She turned on the machines and began the research.
Angel was sitting in his office thinking. He also wanted to know why Spike couldn't leave L.A. Suddenly Harmony came into his office.
"Uh boss?" she said.
"What is it?" Angel asked.
"Um there's someone here to see you" Harmony told him.
"Later Harmony, I'm thinking" Angel said.
"But I think you'd be interested to know who it is" Harmony said.
"Who?" Angel said, getting annoyed. Harmony stepped aside and Buffy walked into his office. "Buffy."
"Hey" Buffy said.
"Okay well I'll leave you two alone" Harmony said and left.
"Nice place you got here, Harmony's your secretary?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, not by choice, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I'm happy to see you too" she said sarcastically.
"I am. . .I'm just confused" Angel said.
"I need some answers" Buffy told him, coming closer and sitting down.
"Okay, about what?" Angel asked.
"You know what about" Buffy said.
"Spike" Angel said.
"Yeah, what was the amulet?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy look-" Angel began.
"No, I want to know, why did it burn him? Why did it kill him?"
"Buffy-" he tried again.
"I mean it Angel" Buffy prodded.
"Okay" he said. "I didn't know. . .I didn't know that it would. . .I was given the amulet and I came to you, I told you I didn't know" Angel said.
"It killed him" she whispered.
"Yeah, I know, look there's something you need to know, I-" he started, but a ruckus interrupted them again. "What the hell?" he got up and walked outside. Buffy got up as well and walked out of Angel's office and stated to walk around. This place was different. She had never been here before. She walked around looking at everything. The elevator was open so she got in and walked it went up. She got out and walked into a room. It was dark and the bed was not made. She waked into the bathroom.
After Fred was done with Spike he went into his room. Since he couldn't leave they had given him a room. He took off his shirt and was about to lay down but he heard a noise from the bathroom and picked up a bat and went into the bathroom.
"Who's there?" he asked. Someone was standing there, but he didn't see their face because the door was blocking. "Hey mate, whoever you are you better-" the door swung shut and he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Oh my god. . .Spike?" Buffy said astonished. She couldn't believe that he was standing there right in front of her.
The sun was high and the sun was blue. Buffy sat in the middle of the big yard in the grass. Her heart felt like stone. Not because she had closed it, but because she had lost him. He was gone. She left him to die and he did. Suddenly she heard footsteps.
"Buffy?" Dawn asked, but Buffy didn't answer. "A-are you okay?"
"I don't know" Buffy said. She fiddled with the blades of grass.
"It's okay to hurt" Dawn said, sitting down also.
"Is it? What's the point? I shouldn't be surprised, every man I've ever cared about left, Angel, Scott, Parker, Riley. . ." Buffy said.
"And now Spike" Dawn said. "D-did you, love him?"
"What does it matter?" Buffy asked rhetorically. "Nothing matters anymore, I'm, I'm supposed to be happy, I-I finished my destiny, it's fulfilled, so why aren't I?"
"Do you miss Spike?" Dawn asked.
"You have no idea" Buffy said tearfully. "It's strange, I-I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love with him, I told myself I wasn't, but he just. . .touches me in a way no one could, not even Angel, I mean Angel was the love of my life, how can I love them both?"
"I guess you're heart, once it finds love, no matter how much it has stored, it makes room for more, Buffy, Spike gave up his life to save the world, he died for a good cause" Dawn said.
"Yeah, I guess we have something in common after all huh? You know he used to tell me that, you know that we had something in common, the darkness, the shadows, the death, and he was right, we were both creatures of the darkness, and it didn't matter what side we were fighting on, we've always had that connection, always, and I tried to make it go away, tried to not see it, but even I'm not that sightless, I know, I always did" she said, not looking at Dawn.
"Come inside Buffy, it's getting cold" Dawn said. "I'll make you some soup, come nice hot soup, with crackers." Dawn smiled sweetly at her big sister and Buffy looked up at her.
"Okay" she smiled back and got up and Dawn took her hand and led her back into the big house. Since Sunnydale was destroyed Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Faith, Andrew and Kennedy moved to England with Giles. They entered the house and Buffy sat at the kitchen table and Dawn went to the cabinet and got out some soup and poured it in a pan and turned on the stove.
"Hey B" Faith said, coming into the kitchen.
"Hey" Buffy said quietly.
"What's up, why the sour puss?" Faith asked.
"She misses Spike" Dawn informed her.
"I'm okay, I just. . ." Buffy said, but thankfully Willow came into the kitchen with Kennedy.
"Hey guys, we're going for a walk, want to come with?" Willow asked.
"Uh, no thanks Will, I'm looking to get really drunk" Faith said.
"Dawnie, Buff?" Willow asked.
"Um, yeah, but I was making soup for-" Dawn began.
"No, it's okay, you go, have a good time, I'll be okay" Buffy said.
"A-are you sure?" Dawn asked.
"Muchly" Buffy said. Dawn hugged her.
"Be back in a bit" Kennedy said and they left. Faith left also. Buffy turned off the stove and went up to her room and laid down. She was just too tired to think, or doing anything.
*Buffy's flashback*
Spike: I can feel it Buffy
Buffy: What?
Spike: My soul, it's really there
*End*
Buffy shook the thoughts out of her head but they kept flooding back.
*Another flashback*
Spike: Got to move lamb, fair to say school's out for bloody summer
Buffy: Spike!
Spike: I mean it, I got to do this (hold out his hand to stop her and she takes it and they flame together)
Buffy: I love you
Spike: No you don't, but thanks for saying it
*End*
Buffy shook the thoughts away once more. She could feel the tears starting to come and couldn't go there again. She spent most of her first couple of days in England crying. She didn't want to do it again. She walked back downstairs into the living room to find Xander.
"Hey Xand" Buffy said, trying to sound cheerful. She wasn't the only one with pain around here. Since Anya died he's been in just as much grief as her, maybe more.
"Hey" he said.
"How ya feeling?" she asked, sitting down with him.
"I'm honestly not sure" he said, switching the TV channel.
"I know how you feel" she offered, he looked at her.
"Really, I can't see how, I mean I lost the love of my life, you lost a vampire who should have been put down years ago" he said coldly. She glared at him, now angry.
"You know Anya wasn't exactly little miss Angel either, Spike had no choice but to be a monster, Anya did, she chose it" she said just as cold.
"Yeah, right, and she changed" Xander said.
"So did Spike! He died to save the world, do you even remember that!" Buffy shouted.
"It's different, I loved Anya, you just miss Spike because you miss getting off and getting away with it" he said harshly. She looked at him, tears starting to form and got up and walked away. He looked on after her and his face expression changed from angry to regret for saying that to her. She was one of his best friends, how could he be so insensitive?
Buffy walked up to her room and slammed the door. She flopped on her bed and began to cry, just for a second. Then she got up and packed some stuff. She was going to L.A. to see Angel. She wanted to know what the hell that amulet was. She had talked to him about sixteen days ago, but she didn't ask him about it. She was in too much pain. She got her suitcase and went downstairs.
"Where are you going?" Xander asked, following her to the kitchen. She got out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.
"L.A." was all she said.
"Look Buff, I'm sorry, I'm just upset, I never meant to-" he began.
'Forget it" she said, still not looking at him. She finished the note and put it on the fridge.
"Why are you going to L.A., to see Angel?" he asked.
"Yeah, I need some answers" she said and began to walk away again.
"Buff" he said and grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt your feelings."
"It's okay, I know you're grieving" she said.
"And I know you are, you're going about Spike aren't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, look just make sure that the others see that note okay, I have to go" she said and hugged him and then left.
Los Angeles ~ Same time period
"Spike if you don't stop that I'm going to-" Angel began.
"What? You're going to what?" Spike said arrogantly.
"Well this for one thing" Angel said and punched Spike in the nose.
"Oh, bloody hell!" he shouted and held his nose, Angel smiled.
"You're corporeal now so. . .it's a lot more fun this way" he said, still smirking. Spike hit him back, soon they were in a fight.
"Uh, guys? Guys!" Fred said, stopping them.
"Hey Fred, what's the what?" Angel asked, still holding Spike in a headlock.
"We have work to do" confirmed.
"Right" Angel said and let go of Spike. "What work?"
"We still have to figure out why this amulet was keeping Spike here, why it still is even though he's corporeal" Fred said.
"Yeah, right, lets do that, 'cause the sooner Spike leaves the happier I'll be" Angel said.
"The happier we'll both be mate, do you think I like this, staying here, at least when I was a ghost I could haunt you and you couldn't do anything, if I'm corporeal, I want to see Buffy, be with her" Spike said.
"Okay, uh, come with me" Fred said and Spike followed her to her lab.
"You're not going to like cut me open are you, 'cause got to tell you lamb, I'm not too keen on that" Spike said.
"No, don't worry" Fred said and hooked him up to some monitors.
"What are these then?" he asked.
"Um, well I'm testing you and Angel, seeing if there's something in common, you know two vampires, both with souls, and then I'm also testing the amulet" Fred said.
"Okay, do it" Spike told her. She turned on the machines and began the research.
Angel was sitting in his office thinking. He also wanted to know why Spike couldn't leave L.A. Suddenly Harmony came into his office.
"Uh boss?" she said.
"What is it?" Angel asked.
"Um there's someone here to see you" Harmony told him.
"Later Harmony, I'm thinking" Angel said.
"But I think you'd be interested to know who it is" Harmony said.
"Who?" Angel said, getting annoyed. Harmony stepped aside and Buffy walked into his office. "Buffy."
"Hey" Buffy said.
"Okay well I'll leave you two alone" Harmony said and left.
"Nice place you got here, Harmony's your secretary?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, not by choice, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I'm happy to see you too" she said sarcastically.
"I am. . .I'm just confused" Angel said.
"I need some answers" Buffy told him, coming closer and sitting down.
"Okay, about what?" Angel asked.
"You know what about" Buffy said.
"Spike" Angel said.
"Yeah, what was the amulet?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy look-" Angel began.
"No, I want to know, why did it burn him? Why did it kill him?"
"Buffy-" he tried again.
"I mean it Angel" Buffy prodded.
"Okay" he said. "I didn't know. . .I didn't know that it would. . .I was given the amulet and I came to you, I told you I didn't know" Angel said.
"It killed him" she whispered.
"Yeah, I know, look there's something you need to know, I-" he started, but a ruckus interrupted them again. "What the hell?" he got up and walked outside. Buffy got up as well and walked out of Angel's office and stated to walk around. This place was different. She had never been here before. She walked around looking at everything. The elevator was open so she got in and walked it went up. She got out and walked into a room. It was dark and the bed was not made. She waked into the bathroom.
After Fred was done with Spike he went into his room. Since he couldn't leave they had given him a room. He took off his shirt and was about to lay down but he heard a noise from the bathroom and picked up a bat and went into the bathroom.
"Who's there?" he asked. Someone was standing there, but he didn't see their face because the door was blocking. "Hey mate, whoever you are you better-" the door swung shut and he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Oh my god. . .Spike?" Buffy said astonished. She couldn't believe that he was standing there right in front of her.