Golden Years: Dreams of Yesterday
author: Lucinda
main characters: Marie(Rogue), Logan
rating: pg
disclaimer: Nobody that you recognize from Marvel is mine.
distribution: please ask first.
note: set approximately sixty years in the future of the X-Men movie. Probably a far more optimistic future than they will actually get.
Marie sat in the bay window, gazing out as she had done so many years before, back when she was one of the troubled youngsters here to learn, seeking answers and control. Back then, she had yearned for control over her powers, to have the ability to touch. Skin to skin contact was what triggered her power, and when she had been just sixteen and newly come to Xavier's, she couldn't stop it, could do nothing more than wrap herself in layers of fabric, to keep herself apart from the world. It had been incredibly lonely, more so because even the other mutants feared her, whispering that she stole powers, that a single touch would leave a boy helpless in the infirmary. Back then, it would have.
She'd had a terrible crush on Logan. He'd been strong, and sort of attractive, and he hadn't been afraid of her, hadn't looked at her as a conquest or a prize, just... to him, she'd been someone to keep safe. Marie had eventually realized that her crush wouldn't work, that he didn't WANT her, that he saw her as someone to young for him. And it had made sense, even though the gentle rejection of it had hurt. Then, she'd met Remy. Even though he couldn't have been more than a year or two older than her, he was charming, confident, and... well, not exactly polished, but he was something. He had a disarrayed charm, a sort of wild, unkempt appeal that had made her want to bring him home and take care of him. He'd seemed to find her charming, and they'd sort of dated on and off for a few years.
But she'd been no closer to learning to control her power, and she'd essentially drove him away, hoping that he could find happiness without her. She hadn't wanted him to be miserable tied to a woman he could never touch. She'd wanted him to be happy, wanted, prayed, pleaded for some way to be that touchable woman he deserved. After a few years, he'd hooked up with someone else, an elegant British woman named Betsy, and they'd gotten married. She'd been so incredibly jealous...
She hadn't gained consistent control until she was almost thirty. Then, she'd promptly decided to take a bit of a vacation from being a hero, from risking her life. She wanted to try to have a life... But the one she'd ended up with hadn't quite gone the way she'd imagined.
Marie had married Ethan, a charming architect with the most devastating smile, and a bit of a southern accent. For a while, they'd been so happy, the perfect little family, complete with a pair of little boys that looked a lot like their father, but with a few hints of her in their coloring, and around their eyes. She'd been pregnant with their third child, thinking that she was getting to old for any more babies when he'd run away with this big eyes exotic dancer, leaving her and the children with nothing but piles of debts. She'd nearly lost her daughter from all of that stress, and had returned to Xavier's, roundly pregnant and leading her two boys, then six and two. She'd felt like she'd somehow failed, had been unable to convince Ethan to stay because she hadn't been quite enough...
There were so many things that she'd do over if she could. But... that would mean not having her children. Although their abilities were a bit of a bafflement to her. Each of her three children had to powers of somebody that she'd 'borrowed' once upon a time. Her oldest boy, Jack, had somehow ended up with weather manipulation just like Storm's. Michael had Scott's optic blasts, down to the precise electromagnetic frequency. And as for her darling Julie, the only one of her children with Ethan's blond hair, Julie had the abilities of one of the villains they had fought time and time again, Magneto. Nobody had been able to explain it, and eventually, it had just been decided to blame it on some sort of secondary mutation in her system.
It seemed that she'd been doing little more than thinking over her life lately. Ever since her last check up with Hank, ever since he'd told her... Although his words hadn't been that much of a surprise. She'd felt her body changing. Felt things... she could feel the pressure sometimes, like some evil thing throbbing inside of her. But she didn't want to dwell on her time limit. It would be best to make the most of her remaining time.
She'd seen Logan occasionally, marveling at the way time had almost skipped him. He'd married this charming Native American woman, Danielle Moonstar, and they'd had a delightfully happy family. She hadn't been surprised that Logan had been a good father, or that he'd been so horribly upset when his wife had died. Now, she wished she'd known his Dani better.
The deep roar of a returning Harley Davidson motorcycle pulled her mind back to the present. Could that be... it was the right time of the year. Logan visited Dani's grave every year at the anniversary of her death, was it already... With a small smile, she carefully got to her feet, feeling as if every bone was creaking in protest. She had no idea how Ororo still gardened. She could go talk to Logan, to someone that didn't think she was silly for thinking back over missed chances. After all, he had a few of those what if's of his own. Surely he wouldn't begrudge her a few wistful reminisces about Remy, the one she'd thrown away.
She made her way there in time to see Jubilee... well, Jube now, slowly sliding down from the Harley behind Logan, looking old enough to be his grandmother. Her hair was almost as wild as Logan's right now, and the scars almost unnoticable in the evening twilight. She gave him a hug, and made her way towards the dorms, humming something as she went.
"I wish I was so cheerful about my old age as Jube is. She seems... it's like she's still just the same, only older." Her voice sounded a bit envious.
Logan grinned a bit, still so much the same that she could almost picture that miserable truck camper behind him, could see the bars of the cage fighting pit behind him for a moment. "She's changed a bit, just not entirely. She's settled down a bit."
"While I just let myself turn into a bitter old lady dreaming about what went wrong with my life." She sighed, shaking her head a bit.
He gave a small chuckle. "You aren't that bitter, Marie. As for Remy... You did what you choose to do with that one. It's a bit late to worry about right or wrong, if you should have done things differently. You didn't do that bad, kid... Marie."
"Guess I don't look much like a kid anymore, do I?" There was a bit of laughter behind her voice as she gestured at herself. Her hair was a fine ashen hue except for the white locks that commemorated Magneto, and worn in short curls. Fine wrinkles surrounded her eyes and mouth, her skin still pale but now somehow looser, not quite so close to her body. She looked frail now, her limbs shrunken and thin, her knuckles larger. She'd always called them old lady hands, and well, she was an old lady now.
Reaching out, he ruffled her hair, a smile almost touching his eyes. "Not so young now, Marie. Have any luck getting your kids to understand it all?"
"Yes and no... they know about the facts of it, they can tell you what happened, identify the people, but... they don't get it. They can't figure out how people could have hated so much and so easily, can't understand people fighting and dying over 'a difference of philosophy' or 'a twist in the genes'. Logan, I don't know how I could have made them understand. Was there something more that I could have done?" She looked at him, somehow unsurprised that she would hope for something, practical advice from Logan.
Logan was silent for a few moments, and with a grin that made it impossible to determine just how serious he was, he dropped a question into the twilight. "Got a telepath? If words alone don't work, maybe memories would."
Marie blinked, wondering why nobody had thought of that before. "Well.... there might be one or two of those somewhere around here." She teased him just a little, knowing full well that there were easily a dozen telepaths of various levels of strength and training, most of which were Jean's children or grandchildren. "Seriously, that's probably what it would take for it to seem real to them. Charles would probably think it was some sort of invasion of privacy..."
"He's a lot like his dad was." Logan's voice held an odd note. "There was a bit more red to his hair, but now with the grey? He looks just like Scott did at that age."
"Do you run into much of that around here? People looking like their parents did? I'd noticed about Scott and Jean's brood, but... I never even met Jube's family. Were they... are they much like she was?"
"No and yes. None of them look just like she did, but... you can see her in them, especially in the lion tamer. Fearless, and daring the world to prove something, just like she was. 'Course, they think her stories are a bit exaggerated to make them more interesting..." Logan looked almost amused.
"Like any of the things we did back then need exaggerating to sound interesting! She's probably keeping parts out." Marie laughed, thinking about the years gone by. So many yesterdays, so many memories.
Logan smiled a bit, something lurking in his eyes. "Yeah... plenty of excitement. Being shot at with everything from guns to lightning to fire to acid to killer snowballs... Makes me wonder how I manage to do without."
"What's the matter, Logan? Is there something... something's bothering you." She wondered what new sorrow he would have to carry.
"Have you seen a doctor lately?" There was worry in his eyes, and a callused finger brushed over her cheek.
Marie sighed, feeling as if she was deflating. "Yeah... It's cancer. One of they types they can't really treat, and Hank already told me that he doesn't think I'd survive the operation to remove the tumor. But I've had a long life, and I know that things are safe for my children, for my grandchildren. They won't have the same problems I did. I always knew that my time would come."
He rubbed one hand over hers, his eyes sorrowful. "Is there anything... maybe if you could heal for a while?"
Marie smiled, somehow unsurprised that he'd made the offer. "Logan... I'm old and tired now. There's just not that much time left in me anymore. It's time for me to move on, to find out... well, I guess to find out if Momma was right about heaven. I'd probably be a bit more worried, but... Hank said when the time comes, it'll be quick. Most likely, I'll just go to sleep... and I won't wake up."
"Does that help?" Logan looked so serious, as if he was already trying to prepare himself.
She reached out, hugging him as close and as hard as she could, feeling the tears in her eyes. "Sometimes."
Logan did the only thing that he could right then, and held her close.
end Dreams of Yesterday
author: Lucinda
main characters: Marie(Rogue), Logan
rating: pg
disclaimer: Nobody that you recognize from Marvel is mine.
distribution: please ask first.
note: set approximately sixty years in the future of the X-Men movie. Probably a far more optimistic future than they will actually get.
Marie sat in the bay window, gazing out as she had done so many years before, back when she was one of the troubled youngsters here to learn, seeking answers and control. Back then, she had yearned for control over her powers, to have the ability to touch. Skin to skin contact was what triggered her power, and when she had been just sixteen and newly come to Xavier's, she couldn't stop it, could do nothing more than wrap herself in layers of fabric, to keep herself apart from the world. It had been incredibly lonely, more so because even the other mutants feared her, whispering that she stole powers, that a single touch would leave a boy helpless in the infirmary. Back then, it would have.
She'd had a terrible crush on Logan. He'd been strong, and sort of attractive, and he hadn't been afraid of her, hadn't looked at her as a conquest or a prize, just... to him, she'd been someone to keep safe. Marie had eventually realized that her crush wouldn't work, that he didn't WANT her, that he saw her as someone to young for him. And it had made sense, even though the gentle rejection of it had hurt. Then, she'd met Remy. Even though he couldn't have been more than a year or two older than her, he was charming, confident, and... well, not exactly polished, but he was something. He had a disarrayed charm, a sort of wild, unkempt appeal that had made her want to bring him home and take care of him. He'd seemed to find her charming, and they'd sort of dated on and off for a few years.
But she'd been no closer to learning to control her power, and she'd essentially drove him away, hoping that he could find happiness without her. She hadn't wanted him to be miserable tied to a woman he could never touch. She'd wanted him to be happy, wanted, prayed, pleaded for some way to be that touchable woman he deserved. After a few years, he'd hooked up with someone else, an elegant British woman named Betsy, and they'd gotten married. She'd been so incredibly jealous...
She hadn't gained consistent control until she was almost thirty. Then, she'd promptly decided to take a bit of a vacation from being a hero, from risking her life. She wanted to try to have a life... But the one she'd ended up with hadn't quite gone the way she'd imagined.
Marie had married Ethan, a charming architect with the most devastating smile, and a bit of a southern accent. For a while, they'd been so happy, the perfect little family, complete with a pair of little boys that looked a lot like their father, but with a few hints of her in their coloring, and around their eyes. She'd been pregnant with their third child, thinking that she was getting to old for any more babies when he'd run away with this big eyes exotic dancer, leaving her and the children with nothing but piles of debts. She'd nearly lost her daughter from all of that stress, and had returned to Xavier's, roundly pregnant and leading her two boys, then six and two. She'd felt like she'd somehow failed, had been unable to convince Ethan to stay because she hadn't been quite enough...
There were so many things that she'd do over if she could. But... that would mean not having her children. Although their abilities were a bit of a bafflement to her. Each of her three children had to powers of somebody that she'd 'borrowed' once upon a time. Her oldest boy, Jack, had somehow ended up with weather manipulation just like Storm's. Michael had Scott's optic blasts, down to the precise electromagnetic frequency. And as for her darling Julie, the only one of her children with Ethan's blond hair, Julie had the abilities of one of the villains they had fought time and time again, Magneto. Nobody had been able to explain it, and eventually, it had just been decided to blame it on some sort of secondary mutation in her system.
It seemed that she'd been doing little more than thinking over her life lately. Ever since her last check up with Hank, ever since he'd told her... Although his words hadn't been that much of a surprise. She'd felt her body changing. Felt things... she could feel the pressure sometimes, like some evil thing throbbing inside of her. But she didn't want to dwell on her time limit. It would be best to make the most of her remaining time.
She'd seen Logan occasionally, marveling at the way time had almost skipped him. He'd married this charming Native American woman, Danielle Moonstar, and they'd had a delightfully happy family. She hadn't been surprised that Logan had been a good father, or that he'd been so horribly upset when his wife had died. Now, she wished she'd known his Dani better.
The deep roar of a returning Harley Davidson motorcycle pulled her mind back to the present. Could that be... it was the right time of the year. Logan visited Dani's grave every year at the anniversary of her death, was it already... With a small smile, she carefully got to her feet, feeling as if every bone was creaking in protest. She had no idea how Ororo still gardened. She could go talk to Logan, to someone that didn't think she was silly for thinking back over missed chances. After all, he had a few of those what if's of his own. Surely he wouldn't begrudge her a few wistful reminisces about Remy, the one she'd thrown away.
She made her way there in time to see Jubilee... well, Jube now, slowly sliding down from the Harley behind Logan, looking old enough to be his grandmother. Her hair was almost as wild as Logan's right now, and the scars almost unnoticable in the evening twilight. She gave him a hug, and made her way towards the dorms, humming something as she went.
"I wish I was so cheerful about my old age as Jube is. She seems... it's like she's still just the same, only older." Her voice sounded a bit envious.
Logan grinned a bit, still so much the same that she could almost picture that miserable truck camper behind him, could see the bars of the cage fighting pit behind him for a moment. "She's changed a bit, just not entirely. She's settled down a bit."
"While I just let myself turn into a bitter old lady dreaming about what went wrong with my life." She sighed, shaking her head a bit.
He gave a small chuckle. "You aren't that bitter, Marie. As for Remy... You did what you choose to do with that one. It's a bit late to worry about right or wrong, if you should have done things differently. You didn't do that bad, kid... Marie."
"Guess I don't look much like a kid anymore, do I?" There was a bit of laughter behind her voice as she gestured at herself. Her hair was a fine ashen hue except for the white locks that commemorated Magneto, and worn in short curls. Fine wrinkles surrounded her eyes and mouth, her skin still pale but now somehow looser, not quite so close to her body. She looked frail now, her limbs shrunken and thin, her knuckles larger. She'd always called them old lady hands, and well, she was an old lady now.
Reaching out, he ruffled her hair, a smile almost touching his eyes. "Not so young now, Marie. Have any luck getting your kids to understand it all?"
"Yes and no... they know about the facts of it, they can tell you what happened, identify the people, but... they don't get it. They can't figure out how people could have hated so much and so easily, can't understand people fighting and dying over 'a difference of philosophy' or 'a twist in the genes'. Logan, I don't know how I could have made them understand. Was there something more that I could have done?" She looked at him, somehow unsurprised that she would hope for something, practical advice from Logan.
Logan was silent for a few moments, and with a grin that made it impossible to determine just how serious he was, he dropped a question into the twilight. "Got a telepath? If words alone don't work, maybe memories would."
Marie blinked, wondering why nobody had thought of that before. "Well.... there might be one or two of those somewhere around here." She teased him just a little, knowing full well that there were easily a dozen telepaths of various levels of strength and training, most of which were Jean's children or grandchildren. "Seriously, that's probably what it would take for it to seem real to them. Charles would probably think it was some sort of invasion of privacy..."
"He's a lot like his dad was." Logan's voice held an odd note. "There was a bit more red to his hair, but now with the grey? He looks just like Scott did at that age."
"Do you run into much of that around here? People looking like their parents did? I'd noticed about Scott and Jean's brood, but... I never even met Jube's family. Were they... are they much like she was?"
"No and yes. None of them look just like she did, but... you can see her in them, especially in the lion tamer. Fearless, and daring the world to prove something, just like she was. 'Course, they think her stories are a bit exaggerated to make them more interesting..." Logan looked almost amused.
"Like any of the things we did back then need exaggerating to sound interesting! She's probably keeping parts out." Marie laughed, thinking about the years gone by. So many yesterdays, so many memories.
Logan smiled a bit, something lurking in his eyes. "Yeah... plenty of excitement. Being shot at with everything from guns to lightning to fire to acid to killer snowballs... Makes me wonder how I manage to do without."
"What's the matter, Logan? Is there something... something's bothering you." She wondered what new sorrow he would have to carry.
"Have you seen a doctor lately?" There was worry in his eyes, and a callused finger brushed over her cheek.
Marie sighed, feeling as if she was deflating. "Yeah... It's cancer. One of they types they can't really treat, and Hank already told me that he doesn't think I'd survive the operation to remove the tumor. But I've had a long life, and I know that things are safe for my children, for my grandchildren. They won't have the same problems I did. I always knew that my time would come."
He rubbed one hand over hers, his eyes sorrowful. "Is there anything... maybe if you could heal for a while?"
Marie smiled, somehow unsurprised that he'd made the offer. "Logan... I'm old and tired now. There's just not that much time left in me anymore. It's time for me to move on, to find out... well, I guess to find out if Momma was right about heaven. I'd probably be a bit more worried, but... Hank said when the time comes, it'll be quick. Most likely, I'll just go to sleep... and I won't wake up."
"Does that help?" Logan looked so serious, as if he was already trying to prepare himself.
She reached out, hugging him as close and as hard as she could, feeling the tears in her eyes. "Sometimes."
Logan did the only thing that he could right then, and held her close.
end Dreams of Yesterday