Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox,
etc... except of course the ones I make up.
Summary: Spike and Buffy are going to have a baby together!!! I know, I know, it's been done about a million times but I promise that this one is different. Anyway, it also deals with all different types of families that could exist in the Buffyverse.
Spoilers: None really
Continuity: It's the sequel to "Apocalypse now... Again". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It picks up a few weeks after where "Apocalypse Now... Again" leaves off. Also, I just thought I'd point out that Tara is alive and with Willow, both witches are living with Buffy. Also, Xander and Anya are married and Anya is about four and a half months pregnant.
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FAMILY
Chapter 3: Just A Nightmare
Spike walked through a grassy field. His feet were bare, and he could feel the soil between his toes. He looked up and allowed the sun to wash over his face and body. He had forgotten how good it felt.
The vampire walked on. He knew he was dreaming, for he knew that he would never see the sun again. But it didn't matter, this was his dream, and he was going to take full advantage of it. Sometimes he wished that he had been more careful with the gem of Amara, that he had exploited its true gift... daylight. But the ring was gone, and now all he could do was dream.
Spike walked over a perfectly green hill, and when he got to the top, he thought his heart would beat with joy from the scene he saw below him. Buffy sat at the bottom of the hill with a pink stroller next to her on a picnic blanket.
"Buffy!" He called out to her, but she didn't hear him. Spike shrugged it off and trotted down the hill to be by her side.
He arrived next to her and knelt down, placing his hand gently on her knee. She was bit cold, but the vampire thought nothing of it. She didn't respond to his touch either, which made him a bit more concerned.
He placed a soft hand lovingly on her left cheek and turned her face toward him. Nothing was there. She was smiling sweetly at him, and her cheeks were a rosy red. But where were her eyes? There was nothing in the sockets; they were merely black pits, showing nothing but darkness.
Spike covered his mouth and felt his stomach turn in a thousand different directions. He thought he might vomit when he heard the cry of the baby. He ran to it, and was horrified by what he saw.
The baby was wearing a cute pink one-piece outfit and had little purple ribbons in her hair. Everything about her was normal except for her face. It was terribly contorted. It was rigid and rough, like a vampire's.
Spike gently picked up the baby and held it close to his chest, rocking it back and forth.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so-"
The vampire jerked awake, panting by mere habit. He looked around the unfamiliar hotel room and remembered where he was. Spike realized what had probably triggered the dream was the loud crying of the two year old coming from downstairs.
Spike swung his legs over the edge of the bed and pulled the covers off. He pulled his usual black tee on over his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He got up and walked downstairs to where Fred was attempting to put oatmeal into Connor's small, and tightly shut mouth.
"Come on Connor, please open up!"
"You want me to give it a try?"
At the sound of Spike's voice Fred let out a quick, shrill shriek and jumped around, dropping the spoon on the floor. Oatmeal splattered an incredible distance and Spike jumped back to avoid getting the mushy cereal on his bare feet.
"Sorry, pet, didn't mean to scare you."
"That's alright," she told him honestly, with her cute Texan accent, "I just wasn't expecting you to be... here. What are you doing here anyway?"
"It's a long story."
Fred accepted this without argument, "alright. Spike right?"
He nodded politely. "Yeah. So, do you want me to try with him?"
"Sure! If you think you can. I'll just get a clean spoon." Fred turned and disappeared into Angel's office.
Spike walked over to Connor and put his face inches from the toddler's. The child responded with an excited squeal.
"Spike!"
"Hey there, platelet, do you remember me?"
Connor grabbed a handful of dirty blonde hair a pulled hard. "Spike," he giggled.
"I'm sure he remembers you," Fred said as she walked back from the office and handed a spoon to Spike who took it with a nod. "Connor just has a really good memory. I can tell he's going to be the brainy type. And the strong type of course, being as how his parents are vampires and all."
Spike smiled politely at her. She was cute, he noted, he could see what Gunn saw in her. Pretty smile and eyes that just looked into you when she spoke to you. Spike wasn't sure where Angel found her, but she definitely worked well with the chemistry of the fang gang.
Spike took the bowl off the tray of the high chair and dipped the spoon into the soft oatmeal. He picked up just enough to fit into the mouth of the child. He put it in front of Connor and amazingly, he opened his mouth and allowed the spoon to pass his lips without a fight. Spike smirked at his accomplishment.
"You're not so tough."
"Wow, you're a natural."
"Hardly," Spike told Fred modestly, "my sister was born when I was nine, it came with time."
"Still, you're really good with him. Maybe it's a vampire thing..." she trailed off when she saw Angel walking behind the counter.
"Morning," he said to them with a smile. "Well, look who has become the big bad babysitter."
Spike chuckled, "Dawn used to call me that," he told them offhandedly.
Angel smiled, "I can take it from here," Angel told him.
"I don't mind."
"Don't worry, Spike," Angel said, "you'll have plenty of chances to do this in a few years."
"If Buffy even ever speaks to me again," he replied to his grandsire with a sigh.
Fred turned a bright red and handed a small stuffed bear that she had been fiddling with to Angel. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and smiled sweetly.
"I'll just get out your way. Leave you to your business."
Before Angel could even thank her for being so polite, she was gone. Angel could tell she was uncomfortable and absently wondered why. Angel just shook it off as Fred's usual shyness and turned his attention to Spike while mindlessly feeding his son.
"So, are you ready to talk?"
Spike twiddled his thumbs nervously, "I think so."
"If you're not, it's okay, I can wait."
"No, I want to talk, it's what I came here to do."
"Alright. I'm listening."
Spike took a deep and unnecessary breath and began. "So here's the thing, Buffy's pregnant. Not a big deal, right? Wrong! It's all wrong. She says it's mine, but it can't be. Do you know how I found out? She didn't tell me! I heard it; I heard its heart beat and then she told me. If it were mine, she would have told me right away, wouldn't she? I mean, what would she have to be afraid of? If it were mine, what would she have to hide?"
"Spike? Can I ask you something?"
Spike stopped pacing and nodded.
"Do you love Buffy?"
"With every part of my being."
"Does she love you?"
Spike took a moment to consider this. "I think she does."
"Do you really, deep down, think that she would cheat on you?"
Spike took another long moment to ponder about that question. He looked down, ashamed of his behavior when he realized the answer.
"No."
"Then what are you really afraid of?"
"That I'm not good enough," Spike told him, surprised at how quickly the answer came.
"For what? For Buffy?"
"For the child. Angel, I can't be a father."
"Spike, you doubt yourself too much. You used to be one of the most confident sons of bitches I ever met. And what happened? You fell in love with Buffy and all you do is doubt yourself. So let me tell you something. Buffy loves you. I hate to admit that more than you can imagine but I could see it when she looked at you. And about being a father, everyone messes up. It will happen. But if you love this child, and if you love Buffy, than the little things, they won't matter in the end."
Spike took it all in. Buffy loves him and he loves her. According to Angel, that's enough. He can take care of this child. He can love and take of this child and everything will be okay. Except...
"Oh shit!"
"What now?"
"What if Buffy never speaks to me again? When I found out I went a bit crazy."
"It'll be okay," Angel told him surely.
"How can you know that?"
"I don't know it. I just have a feeling."
"I hope you're feeling is right then."
Spike demurred, and mustered up his courage, "can I ask you something now. It's a bit off topic but I've been meaning to ask this for a long time."
"Sure," Angel told him, a little apprehensively.
"Why did you hate me?"
"What do you mean?"
"When I was first sired, you treated me like dirt. Like just another fledgling. Why?"
"I was jealous," Angel answered honestly, also surprised by the quickness of the answer. He felt at this point, when it came to Spike, he had nothing to hide.
"Of me?"
"Of you, yes."
"Why?"
"Because you were everything I wasn't, everything I used to be but wasn't anymore. You had this... fire. This intense passion for life and you weren't even living. You made every moment you had on this earth exciting and new. That used to be me, Spike, before you came around I was the star. I got all the attention. I use to spontaneous and fun, but then you came along and I had to become responsible for you. Dru had this sudden connection with but she wasn't going to take responsibility for teaching you how to be a vampire. So I had to be the one to teach you and keep you in line. I resented you so much for that. And then you killed a slayer; I'm surprised you didn't see me become green with envy. After I got a soul, while I was trying to prove to Darla that I was the vampire I used to be, YOU kill a slayer and she put the pressure on me. She wanted me to kill a baby for her, Spike, she wanted me to kill a child for her and I couldn't, and that's why I left."
"Do you still feel that way?" Spike asked, unable to look his grandsire in the eye.
"No, I haven't felt that way for a long time. Well, not since we saw each other for the Delegation, but still, a few months is a long time."
"More like a drop in the bucket. We've been around for centuries."
"I know. But still, better late than never, right?"
"Oh don't start with the lame clichés, Angelus, I don't think I could stand it."
Angel smirked and nodded. "So what are you going to do now?"
Spike wasn't sure how to answer that. It was true what he had said; deep down he knew that Buffy hadn't cheated and that the child was his. But after his big-flip out and run-away, he wasn't sure how Buffy would even react to him coming back. Would she want him to? Spike shook his head at himself; he hadn't even been gone twenty-four hours. It was only nine in the morning.
"I think I'll go back tonight, maybe she won't kill me. Would it be okay if I just stayed here the rest of the day?"
"Where else are you going to go?"
"Oh, right."
Angel smiled, "and if you're feeling really helpful, you can take calls."
Spike returned Angel's friendly smile asking, "what are families for?"
TBC...
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Hey guys, you know the drill... please review! And I'm really sorry it took so long for me to update, I just had some medical issues that made me unable to write for the past week or so. Anyway, I hope to get up another chapter ASAP, and many reviews might make me feel better...
Summary: Spike and Buffy are going to have a baby together!!! I know, I know, it's been done about a million times but I promise that this one is different. Anyway, it also deals with all different types of families that could exist in the Buffyverse.
Spoilers: None really
Continuity: It's the sequel to "Apocalypse now... Again". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It picks up a few weeks after where "Apocalypse Now... Again" leaves off. Also, I just thought I'd point out that Tara is alive and with Willow, both witches are living with Buffy. Also, Xander and Anya are married and Anya is about four and a half months pregnant.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FAMILY
Chapter 3: Just A Nightmare
Spike walked through a grassy field. His feet were bare, and he could feel the soil between his toes. He looked up and allowed the sun to wash over his face and body. He had forgotten how good it felt.
The vampire walked on. He knew he was dreaming, for he knew that he would never see the sun again. But it didn't matter, this was his dream, and he was going to take full advantage of it. Sometimes he wished that he had been more careful with the gem of Amara, that he had exploited its true gift... daylight. But the ring was gone, and now all he could do was dream.
Spike walked over a perfectly green hill, and when he got to the top, he thought his heart would beat with joy from the scene he saw below him. Buffy sat at the bottom of the hill with a pink stroller next to her on a picnic blanket.
"Buffy!" He called out to her, but she didn't hear him. Spike shrugged it off and trotted down the hill to be by her side.
He arrived next to her and knelt down, placing his hand gently on her knee. She was bit cold, but the vampire thought nothing of it. She didn't respond to his touch either, which made him a bit more concerned.
He placed a soft hand lovingly on her left cheek and turned her face toward him. Nothing was there. She was smiling sweetly at him, and her cheeks were a rosy red. But where were her eyes? There was nothing in the sockets; they were merely black pits, showing nothing but darkness.
Spike covered his mouth and felt his stomach turn in a thousand different directions. He thought he might vomit when he heard the cry of the baby. He ran to it, and was horrified by what he saw.
The baby was wearing a cute pink one-piece outfit and had little purple ribbons in her hair. Everything about her was normal except for her face. It was terribly contorted. It was rigid and rough, like a vampire's.
Spike gently picked up the baby and held it close to his chest, rocking it back and forth.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so-"
The vampire jerked awake, panting by mere habit. He looked around the unfamiliar hotel room and remembered where he was. Spike realized what had probably triggered the dream was the loud crying of the two year old coming from downstairs.
Spike swung his legs over the edge of the bed and pulled the covers off. He pulled his usual black tee on over his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He got up and walked downstairs to where Fred was attempting to put oatmeal into Connor's small, and tightly shut mouth.
"Come on Connor, please open up!"
"You want me to give it a try?"
At the sound of Spike's voice Fred let out a quick, shrill shriek and jumped around, dropping the spoon on the floor. Oatmeal splattered an incredible distance and Spike jumped back to avoid getting the mushy cereal on his bare feet.
"Sorry, pet, didn't mean to scare you."
"That's alright," she told him honestly, with her cute Texan accent, "I just wasn't expecting you to be... here. What are you doing here anyway?"
"It's a long story."
Fred accepted this without argument, "alright. Spike right?"
He nodded politely. "Yeah. So, do you want me to try with him?"
"Sure! If you think you can. I'll just get a clean spoon." Fred turned and disappeared into Angel's office.
Spike walked over to Connor and put his face inches from the toddler's. The child responded with an excited squeal.
"Spike!"
"Hey there, platelet, do you remember me?"
Connor grabbed a handful of dirty blonde hair a pulled hard. "Spike," he giggled.
"I'm sure he remembers you," Fred said as she walked back from the office and handed a spoon to Spike who took it with a nod. "Connor just has a really good memory. I can tell he's going to be the brainy type. And the strong type of course, being as how his parents are vampires and all."
Spike smiled politely at her. She was cute, he noted, he could see what Gunn saw in her. Pretty smile and eyes that just looked into you when she spoke to you. Spike wasn't sure where Angel found her, but she definitely worked well with the chemistry of the fang gang.
Spike took the bowl off the tray of the high chair and dipped the spoon into the soft oatmeal. He picked up just enough to fit into the mouth of the child. He put it in front of Connor and amazingly, he opened his mouth and allowed the spoon to pass his lips without a fight. Spike smirked at his accomplishment.
"You're not so tough."
"Wow, you're a natural."
"Hardly," Spike told Fred modestly, "my sister was born when I was nine, it came with time."
"Still, you're really good with him. Maybe it's a vampire thing..." she trailed off when she saw Angel walking behind the counter.
"Morning," he said to them with a smile. "Well, look who has become the big bad babysitter."
Spike chuckled, "Dawn used to call me that," he told them offhandedly.
Angel smiled, "I can take it from here," Angel told him.
"I don't mind."
"Don't worry, Spike," Angel said, "you'll have plenty of chances to do this in a few years."
"If Buffy even ever speaks to me again," he replied to his grandsire with a sigh.
Fred turned a bright red and handed a small stuffed bear that she had been fiddling with to Angel. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and smiled sweetly.
"I'll just get out your way. Leave you to your business."
Before Angel could even thank her for being so polite, she was gone. Angel could tell she was uncomfortable and absently wondered why. Angel just shook it off as Fred's usual shyness and turned his attention to Spike while mindlessly feeding his son.
"So, are you ready to talk?"
Spike twiddled his thumbs nervously, "I think so."
"If you're not, it's okay, I can wait."
"No, I want to talk, it's what I came here to do."
"Alright. I'm listening."
Spike took a deep and unnecessary breath and began. "So here's the thing, Buffy's pregnant. Not a big deal, right? Wrong! It's all wrong. She says it's mine, but it can't be. Do you know how I found out? She didn't tell me! I heard it; I heard its heart beat and then she told me. If it were mine, she would have told me right away, wouldn't she? I mean, what would she have to be afraid of? If it were mine, what would she have to hide?"
"Spike? Can I ask you something?"
Spike stopped pacing and nodded.
"Do you love Buffy?"
"With every part of my being."
"Does she love you?"
Spike took a moment to consider this. "I think she does."
"Do you really, deep down, think that she would cheat on you?"
Spike took another long moment to ponder about that question. He looked down, ashamed of his behavior when he realized the answer.
"No."
"Then what are you really afraid of?"
"That I'm not good enough," Spike told him, surprised at how quickly the answer came.
"For what? For Buffy?"
"For the child. Angel, I can't be a father."
"Spike, you doubt yourself too much. You used to be one of the most confident sons of bitches I ever met. And what happened? You fell in love with Buffy and all you do is doubt yourself. So let me tell you something. Buffy loves you. I hate to admit that more than you can imagine but I could see it when she looked at you. And about being a father, everyone messes up. It will happen. But if you love this child, and if you love Buffy, than the little things, they won't matter in the end."
Spike took it all in. Buffy loves him and he loves her. According to Angel, that's enough. He can take care of this child. He can love and take of this child and everything will be okay. Except...
"Oh shit!"
"What now?"
"What if Buffy never speaks to me again? When I found out I went a bit crazy."
"It'll be okay," Angel told him surely.
"How can you know that?"
"I don't know it. I just have a feeling."
"I hope you're feeling is right then."
Spike demurred, and mustered up his courage, "can I ask you something now. It's a bit off topic but I've been meaning to ask this for a long time."
"Sure," Angel told him, a little apprehensively.
"Why did you hate me?"
"What do you mean?"
"When I was first sired, you treated me like dirt. Like just another fledgling. Why?"
"I was jealous," Angel answered honestly, also surprised by the quickness of the answer. He felt at this point, when it came to Spike, he had nothing to hide.
"Of me?"
"Of you, yes."
"Why?"
"Because you were everything I wasn't, everything I used to be but wasn't anymore. You had this... fire. This intense passion for life and you weren't even living. You made every moment you had on this earth exciting and new. That used to be me, Spike, before you came around I was the star. I got all the attention. I use to spontaneous and fun, but then you came along and I had to become responsible for you. Dru had this sudden connection with but she wasn't going to take responsibility for teaching you how to be a vampire. So I had to be the one to teach you and keep you in line. I resented you so much for that. And then you killed a slayer; I'm surprised you didn't see me become green with envy. After I got a soul, while I was trying to prove to Darla that I was the vampire I used to be, YOU kill a slayer and she put the pressure on me. She wanted me to kill a baby for her, Spike, she wanted me to kill a child for her and I couldn't, and that's why I left."
"Do you still feel that way?" Spike asked, unable to look his grandsire in the eye.
"No, I haven't felt that way for a long time. Well, not since we saw each other for the Delegation, but still, a few months is a long time."
"More like a drop in the bucket. We've been around for centuries."
"I know. But still, better late than never, right?"
"Oh don't start with the lame clichés, Angelus, I don't think I could stand it."
Angel smirked and nodded. "So what are you going to do now?"
Spike wasn't sure how to answer that. It was true what he had said; deep down he knew that Buffy hadn't cheated and that the child was his. But after his big-flip out and run-away, he wasn't sure how Buffy would even react to him coming back. Would she want him to? Spike shook his head at himself; he hadn't even been gone twenty-four hours. It was only nine in the morning.
"I think I'll go back tonight, maybe she won't kill me. Would it be okay if I just stayed here the rest of the day?"
"Where else are you going to go?"
"Oh, right."
Angel smiled, "and if you're feeling really helpful, you can take calls."
Spike returned Angel's friendly smile asking, "what are families for?"
TBC...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hey guys, you know the drill... please review! And I'm really sorry it took so long for me to update, I just had some medical issues that made me unable to write for the past week or so. Anyway, I hope to get up another chapter ASAP, and many reviews might make me feel better...