Tangled Webs
Chapter 8
Rating: R
The Crossing Jordan characters totally aren't mine ~ they belong to Tim Kring and Tailwind Productions.
Kaidlyn and her mom are my own creations and therefore they're mine.
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Author's note: Although I first introduced Kaidlyn in "Endgame," she subsequently appeared in person in "That Night" and in name in "Running." The timeline here basically follows after "That Night" and before "Endgame" though there will be some overlap and inconsistencies with "Endgame" ~ but since that one's so far from show canon now, we can just pretend, for the sake of this story, that it doesn't exist. :0)
I'd intended to end this with this chapter, but jmkw and some other friends from a role play group have convinced me to take this in another direction after this chapter. . .and the title still fits. So. . .
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Max sat down on the ottoman across from Jordan and Kaidlyn on the couch. He contemplated sitting between them, but he decided the cousins might need each other before the night was over. He had no idea. . .
"Alright, I'm not quite sure where to start. But. . . Jordan, do you remember the night Laura came to the house, all upset?"
"Not really," she said.
"Alright. Well, she came here because she was afraid to go home. She'd been to the winter formal at school with her boyfriend. And he'd raped her. She begged me not to do anything, and for some reason, I listened. I didn't say anything until a couple of months later." He paused.
"She showed up at our door again. In tears again. She was pregnant."
Kaid looked up at Max, her face unreadable.
"From the rape?" Jordan asked the question Kaid already knew the answer to. Max seemed unable to continue, so Kaid picked up the story her mother had told her three and a half years earlier.
"She didn't know what to do. Abortion was barely legal, but she didn't think she could do it. No one would adopt a rape baby ~ even if it was an acquaintance rape. But she couldn't let her mother and father know. They would have kicked her out of the house. So she came to Uncle Max and Aunt Emily for help. They let her stay here for a while."
"I remember that," Jordan said. "I liked having her here."
"Anyway, as she got bigger, she knew she had to go away. She didn't think it was fair to ask you for any help. She cleaned out her savings account and bought a ticket as far as it would take her ~ to Wilmington, North Carolina. It was. . .kind of close to her due date. And. . ." Kaid paused, and Jordan figured out why her father had been so absorbed by the song Kaid sung.
"You really were born on a bus?"
"Yeah. When we got to Wilmington, she met some guy who took us in. But it wasn't a good situation." Kaid's voice trailed off.
Max picked up the story. "He abused her. Never Kaid, only Laura. She'd write to us saying she wanted to come home. But there was no way she could go back to my parents' house. They just couldn't accept that their youngest daughter was raped. She didn't want to disrupt us any more than she already had, so we rented an apartment for her and the baby ~ Kaidlyn. You know, your name was supposed to by Kaitlyn, but the nurse at the hospital misunderstood your mother's accent and typed a "d" instead of a "t." Laura thought it was cute ~ and unique ~ so she never bothered to correct it.
"After Emily. . . Well, before that, Laura had been in touch with the guy from Wilmington again. He swore he'd changed. He said he wanted to marry her. But she wouldn't leave. She helped me out so much with you when your mother was sick, Jordan. She felt guilty leaving. After Emily was murdered, Laura felt like she needed to get away. I didn't feel that I could stop her. So she packed up and moved back to North Carolina. Eventually I guess she married him. . ."
Kaid nodded. "But it didn't last long. Just long enough that she got money from him in the divorce. That's when we moved to Ocean Isle. But she kept on dating guys who were abusive. That's why I applied for School of Science and Math. I wanted to get away. None of them ever touched me. . .she made sure of that. But I couldn't do anything about it where she was concerned. At least I didn't think I could. Finally I told one of our friends, and she got Mama into counseling and away from the idiot she'd been with. But not before he landed her in the hospital and almost killed her." The guilt Kaid felt was evident in her voice.
"Kaidlyn, it's not your fault." Max reached over and patted her knee while Jordan hugged her closer.
Kaid looked from Jordan to Max. "I guess you're thinking that's why I freaked out tonight."
They both nodded.
"It's not. There's something you don't know. I made Mama promise not to say anything. I needed to be ready to tell the story myself. It was after college graduation. . .in that year and a half between college graduation and going to Kenya. I was only supposed to be home a year. They. . .they wanted to make sure I was ok." She was dancing around things, she knew. She took a deep breath and grabbed Jordan's hand as she simultaneously pulled her knees to her chest. To afraid to look at Max, she looked only at Jordan and willed her voice to work as she continued.
"I was out doing turtle patrol. It was nesting season and I was watching the beach, making sure that none of the female turtles got stranded. . .or poached. . .on their way to or from the water and marking their egg sites so we could watch them over the summer. That's an overnight job."
A breath. "I felt weird all night, but really didn't think anything of it. Nothing ever happened. It was the beach ~ a safe place for me. My refuge. . ."
Another breath. "When my shift ended as the sun was beginning to come up. I decided to go for a walk on the beach ~ I'd been seeing dolphins for a few weeks, and they helped calm me if my mind was whirling. I guess I wasn't paying attention to what was going on around me cause someone came up behind me. It was a guy from high school ~ we'd gone out a couple of times, but nothing serious...and not since sophomore year. He. . ." God, this wasn't much easier than it was in therapy or at the trial. "He pushed me down in the sand. It was so early no one else was around. The other turtle patrol members had gone home already. I told him no. I kicked, scratched, screamed. . .everything I could to get away. It was early so there weren't tourists and most of the homes were deserted. And then he pulled a knife on me and said if I didn't shut up, he'd kill me. I didn't know what else to do. He. . ." She fought with herself, willing herself to just say it. "He raped me."
There. She'd said it. Now to see if her cousin and uncle would understand. . .
"Oh my God, Kaid!" Jordan pulled her closer and held the younger woman. "Sweetie, why did you keep this a secret?"
"I wasn't ready to talk about it yet." Kaid tried to explain. She knew that some people might find it weird that she didn't really cry anymore when she talked about it. But she'd been through that. Many, many times. Now it was just fact. . .part of who she was.
Max was clenching and unclenching his fists. All he wanted to do was find the guy who'd done that to Kaidlyn. Find him and make him pay. "Does. . .?"
Kaid looked over at Max and reached her hand out to him. When he took it, she looked at him. "I asked Mama not to tell anyone. I wanted. . .I needed to be able to do it on my terms. Please understand."
"Of course I do, baby! Of course I do!" Max leaned over and kissed her forehead. "How about I make us some hot chocolate?"
"Sounds great Uncle Max," Kaid smiled at him.
"Yeah. Thanks, Dad." Jordan was still in shock. If the same thing had happened to her, she wasn't sure she could be as strong. She sat there, rubbing Kaid's back and soon noticed that her breathing had slowed and she was asleep. It had been a rough night for her, after all.
When Max came back into the room, he looked at Jordan holding her sleeping cousin's head in her lap. "Poor kid. She's had a rough day," he said as he knelt and stroked her hair.
He was trying to figure out how to get her upstairs when the doorbell rang. He went to the door and found Eddie standing there.
"We finished up with all we can do tonight, and I wanted to some and see how she's doing. . ." He stepped in as Max stepped back to allow him into the house. He looked in the living room and saw Jordan rubbing Kaid's back as she slept.
"She's ok. Or she will be," Jordan answered the unspoken question on his face. She just fell asleep.
"And I don't trust myself to carry her upstairs," Max added.
Eddie turned and looked at him. "If you'd like, I can take her."
Max nodded, so Eddie went over and gently picked up Kaid's sleeping form. Jordan led the way up to her old room and pulled down the sheets on the bed. Eddie lay Kaid down on the bed and gently took her shoes off to tuck her in.
Jordan felt awkward being there, obviously there was a deep connection that had been established between Kaid and Eddie. But at the same time, she didn't want to just leave them there. Jordan got to the door and turned back in time to see Eddie tuck Kaid into bed and gently kiss her forehead.
As they left the room, Eddie looked at Jordan to explain, but she raised her hand. "It's ok. You don't owe me an explanation." She put a hand on his arm. "Just don't hurt her."
"Jordan, I'm not even. . ." He stopped. He realized that he was feeling things for her he shouldn't be. And after tonight, he wasn't sure that she should be working with a male anyway. He didn't know details, but obviously some man had hurt this girl badly ~ or someone close to her. He made a decision. "You know, I think she might do better working with Lois. I'll talk with the commander about a switch tomorrow."
Jordan nodded. "Yeah. A woman might be better."
They got to the base of the steps, and Eddie looked at Max. "She's all set. I'll drop by in the morning to see how she is. I. . .I feel responsible for all this, dragging her there and everything."
"Eddie, it's not your fault. What happened would have happened eventually." Max stopped. "But that's not for me to tell you. I'll let Kaid. . .when and if she feels ready."
"Fair enough. Good night, Max. Jordan." And Eddie walked into the night to drive home for a fitful night's sleep.
Max looked at Jordan. "I don't know, Dad. But he really does care what happens to her." Jordan shrugged. "You know? If it's ok, I'll sleep on the floor in my old room. I really don't think Kaid should be alone tonight."
"Alright, sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning."
. . .to be continued. . .