Chapter 16:                                            Life without Magic

Midwinter came and went by. Sam recovered  from her experience very fast. She didn't remember how she had been able to stop her visions. Her last memory was her breakdown in the middle of the night. She soon was able to go on with her training, classes and duties. After a while she seemed to be the same as before.

Her uncle had been really angry with Master Numair. But after a talk with his niece he had decided to keep quiet. He wasn't a mage himself, but he knew how difficult the Gift and especially Wild Magic could be.

It was nearly impossible to meet Sam without Nat anymore. The boy was at her side as often as possible. It seemed as if he was afraid of losing her. First the other pages made jokes about them, but after some confrontations with Lachran and the rest of the group they stopped it. Everybody had noticed how different Nat acted since Sam was here. He was much friendlier now, and nobody really wanted the old Nat back.

And everybody still wondered what had happened to Sam that night. How could her magic get out of control with Master Numair being her teacher? And everybody wanted to know what Sam had seen. What visions did she have? How does the future look like?

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Lady Alanna was watching the pages while they were training in the early morning. She hid in the shadows and wished she could help them. But she was glad, at least, to see Sam well again.

"She seems to be the same as before." Alanna and Kel always talked after the pages had left.

Kel nodded slowly. "She learns as fast as she did before. Only her reflexes are a bit slower now. I think her magic allowed her to sense the movements of her opponent. But now all her magic is gone ... How long will it take until she gets it back?"

Alanna frowned and raised her hands helplessly. "Her breakdown was two weeks before Midwinter. That was three months ago. Normally her magic should have recovered at least a bit. But there isn't even a hint of magic in her. I would like to take care of her myself, but it would do her more harm than help." She signed sadly. "It seems that I'm condemned to only watch from far away without being able to help for the rest of my life. I hate being helpless."

"But you will able to meet the girls after they are knightened."

"And what about new girl pages? Next year there will be at least two new female pages."

"That's great!"

Alanna grinned. "I agree with you. I always hoped for that. But now back to Sam. Has she problems living without magic?"

Kel grinned a bit. "Not at all. I think she's the only one who doesn't think this is a loss. She told me yesterday that she's happy to train without her magic supporting her. She says it felt like cheating. Now, she says, she needs to develop more physical strength. And she trains with all her heart and soul." Kel chuckled. "Cori and Nat are not that happy. They still look as if she could faint again at every minute. It's really funny watching two children acting like parents of another child."

Alanna grinned. "I've also noticed it." Her face became thoughtful. "It's irritating. He looks like his uncle. The same face, the same hair, the same eyes. But he acts completely different. He has an aura of sadness around him. Only when she's with him it's different. His life isn't easy. I hope he will become a good knight. I think he's earning his way more than some of the other pages. After all your nephew told you ... well I'm sure he will be a very good knight."

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"Oh my gods! Oh my gods! Oh my gods!" Cori was walking up and down in the library kneading her hands.

Sam rubbed her eyes. "Please. Stop. That. I'm getting dizzy watching you."

Cori turned to her cousin."How can you be so damned calm. The tests are tomorrow!"

"That's no reason to go crazy. Besides, you are a little bit too loud for a library, don't you agree?" Sam looked around watching the other pages of their group. Their faces had all the shades of red, white and green a human face could have. They all seemed to be concentrating or panicking, as they looked into their books. When she stopped at Nat, she noticed that even he was nervous, although he didn't show it that much.

Sam sighed. She wasn't nervous. To be honest, she had to admit that she had problems feeling anything since winter, since her break down. Months had passed and her magic hadn't come back yet. First she had enjoyed it, somehow. It was a good chance to learn how to fight without her magic. But now she missed it. She felt incomplete. Sometimes she lost herself in her thoughts without noticing it, until somebody woke her up. It seemed like she was searching for something. And she never remembered what she was thinking about.

"Hello! Earth to Sam!"

Sam blinked confused. Cori was standing in front of her, her hands waving to get her attention. "W ... What?"

Cori sighed. "Stop sleeping, at least while I'm going mad in front of you. I need some encouragement."

Sam chuckled a bit. "Encouragement? Ok, let's see. Well, Cori, queen of wisdom, the day you fail the test is the day the world stops turning. The sky will turn dark, the sun will hide and ..."

"Oh! Stop joking! That' not nice."

"I never pretended being nice."

"You are my cousin. You are supposed to support me."

"The last time I tried to support you, you yelled at me."

"When did I yell at you?"

"Stables. Yesterday."

"That was a completely different situation. And I didn't yell."

"Your voice was shrill. Your horse tried to run away."

"Moondancer is a little bit too sensitive. Besides, your horse stayed."

"Ghost is an old war horse. Nothing bothers him anymore."

"I didn't yell!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Do we have to start this again?"

"You started it."

Meanwhile ,all the pages in the library were watching the two cousins, chuckling. It was rare that Cori lost her temper. And it was even more rare to hear Sam arguing like that. Normally Sam simply turned round when she was bored by a conversation. Some of the other pages had already tried to make jokes at her, or start a verbal combat, but it didn't work. Either she ignored them or she made a comment that turned their own jokes back on them. And nobody really wanted to discuss it seriously with her. It wasn't worth the effort.

"You're acting like a child."

"I am a child."

"You are a page."

"And a child."

Sam shook her head. "Ok. That's it. I'm off." She got up and the left the room. Before she closed the door behind her she looked at Lachran and said. "Now it's your turn. Good luck."

Lachran's eyes widened in horror. "Oh no!"

Cori turned to him. "What did you say?"

Sam closed the door and went off quickly. 'If she weren't my cousin, I would never join such a stupid conversation. But when she's mad at me, she stops thinking about the tests.'

Sam looked around and found herself in one of the parks. 'Why did I come here?' She looked around. She heard a noise behind her. She turned around quickly.

Her eyes became huge. "You!"

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Sorry for updating so late. It will take some time till the next chapter. I'm back at school now (You can imagine how happy I am about that.) . My last year. I will be quite busy, but I write as often as I can.

For all who want me to sent an E-Mail: I can't. My computer simply refuses to do this job. I've tried a lot to fix that, but that cursed thing doesn't sent ANY E-Mails. But I will try my best to change that.

Finally a little poll:

Who do you think Sam is meeting?

1 a)  Somebody you know already.

    b)  Somebody you don't know.

2 a)  An enemy.

   b)  A friend.

I'm anxious for your speculations.