A/N: Great thanks to Magz for posting this for me while I was off in NYC! I guess AOI is up next but I'd like to get another chapter of it done before I post 18. And I am BEYOND exhausted right now and have CRAPLOADS of work to do, so please be patient. I'm working as fast and as hard as I can. Enjoy and remember to review!
Buffy pulled Spike's car into his driveway and turned it off. She turned to him, sitting in the passenger seat and laid her hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
Spike jumped, lost in his own thoughts. He turned to look at her with wide eyes. He realized they were finally home and shook his head. It was very late and he was exhausted. He had cried in Buffy's arms for well over an hour before she had managed to get him in the car.
"Spike? You're home," Buffy told him softly. He nodded.
"I know," he replied hoarsely. "Buffy?"
"Yeah?" She brushed the hair off his forehead, concerned for him but also selfishly enjoying the way his hair felt under her fingers. He closed his eyes and sighed.
"I don't want to go in there. Do I have to? Can I stay with you?" He opened his eyes again and stared at her with a begging look. Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile.
"Yeah, you can stay in the guest room. Come on." She got out of the car and went around to open his door. He got out slowly and looked up at the sky, watching the stars for a moment before he noticed she was holding her hand out to him. He took it and held tightly, allowing her to lead him out of his driveway and into her yard. They crossed the lawn and he still clutched her hand as she got her keys out and opened the door. She led him inside and turned on the light. He blinked.
"Do you want anything? Some water? Something to eat? Do you want to stay down here and watch a movie or TV?" Buffy asked. Spike shook his head. "Okay, come on."
Buffy started up the stairs slowly, pulling on his hand. He followed and found it hard to lift his legs high enough to climb. He was so tired, he just wanted to lie down and sleep for days.
"You're in luck," Buffy told him when she showed him to the spare room and turned on the bedside lamp, casting a soft glow over the room. "I just got this room situated and set up a couple days ago."
"Yeah," Spike said hollowly. "Lucky me." Buffy dropped his hand and pulled the covers back. She made him sit down and crouched to take his shoes and socks off. As she did that Spike slowly unbuttoned his shirt. When Buffy looked up at him her eyes widened and she let out a small gasp. Spike either didn't notice or was too tired to register it because he didn't notice her reaction to seeing his toned and muscular body emerge from under the shirt. She stood quickly and smiled again, tightly this time.
"So want me to wake you in the morning?" Buffy asked, moving to the door as Spike got under the covers.
"Buffy?" Spike looked up at her with wide eyes. "Can- uh… can you stay here? With me? I don't want to be alone."
"Of course," Buffy replied immediately. She pulled the bench from the vanity toward the bed and sat beside him. He frowned.
"You can't sleep on that," he told her. He moved over in the bed and flipped the covers back. Buffy got red and looked away. "I promise not to try anything. I just… I need to be close to someone right now. I feel so alone and you help that, a lot. Can you just stay here with me until I fall sleep? Please?"
Buffy bit her lip and stood, toeing off her shoes and pulling her socks off. She slid into the bed and turned on her side, facing away from him. She jumped when he tucked the blankets around her and folded his arm around her waist, spooning her. He felt her tense and pulled away a little.
"Sorry," he muttered. Buffy shook her head.
"No, it's okay. You just surprised me. I'm glad you're here Spike. I'll help you however I can, no matter what." Buffy turned her head so she could look at him. He gave her a small smile back and slowly folded his body around her again. She didn't protest or tense this time so he relaxed and allowed his eyes to drift close.
"Thank you Buffy," he whispered faintly before falling asleep, his breath tickling her ear. Buffy listened to his breathing as it evened out and gave a quick sigh of relief. She relaxed herself and wondered of she should go back to her room now. She intended to, but the more she thought about it, the more tired she got and didn't want to leave this bed. The last thing she remembered was smiling softly as Spike's arm tightened around her waist in his sleep, pulling her closer against his naked chest.
Sunlight streamed through the lacy curtain in the spare room and fell on Buffy who was fast sleep. She rolled over to escape the bright light and almost fell out of bed. She woke up with a start and not in her own room. She glanced over her shoulder and found herself alone. She sat up and yawned, running a hand through her hair. She listened hard, trying to hear Spike in the bathroom or puttering around downstairs but she heard nothing but silence.
She stumbled out of bed and down the stairs, checking the bathroom and her room on the way as well as the living room when she got to the first floor. She frowned and went to the kitchen and didn't find him there either. She glanced out the backdoor and noticed a couple smushed cigarette butts on the back stoop but other than that he was gone. With a gasp she ran through the house and out the front door in her bare feet, wrinkled clothes and sleep tousled hair to Spike's house. She knocked hard on the door, praying someone answered. A few long minutes later Ethan opened the door in his robe, holding a cup of coffee.
"Buffy! To what do I owe this early morning visit?" He asked.
"Is Spike here? Did he come back?" She asked hurriedly. Ethan raised an eyebrow at her.
"He did come home, this morning. Mumbled something about you and went up to his room, then came back down about twenty minutes later showered and changed and left. Did something happen?" Ethan asked, taking in her disheveled appearance.
"No, nothing like that. We- last night we just got talking at my house and fell asleep and when I woke up Spike wasn't there so I was just concerned, is all. Yeah," Buffy explained. Ethan nodded.
"Great. Good to see you could finally get my son out of his room and maybe out of his funk for a little while. I can't thank you enough," Ethan smiled at her. Buffy gave him a small smile back and rocked on her heels. "Want me to get him to call you when he gets in?"
"Sure, that'd be great," Buffy nodded. She told him she'd see him later and left his porch quickly, her feet slapping on his walkway. Ethan watched her go and shook her head. She was an odd girl. Pretty, and seemed to be good for Spike, but odd.
Spike knocked on the door and waited, jiggling his foot. He was looking down the hall, checking out the few students milling about when the door finally opened. He turned back and gave the person on the other side a smile.
"Hey, Red," he said softly.
"Spike?" Willow Rosenburg asked.
"Come on Willow, it hasn't been that long since I've seen you," Spike told her defensively. Willow studied him for a moment before opening the door wider and stepping out to give him a hug.
"Hey Spike. It's good to see you," She told him. They pulled apart and she invited him inside her room, gesturing for him to sit. He sat in her desk chair while she sat on her bed. "So?"
"I've been an ass." He shrugged. "Plain and simple. And I'm sorry."
"Oh, Spike. It's not your fault. You were going through a difficult time. I admit that it hurt when you just brushed us off, but I get it."
"Just the same, I feel awful. And it wasn't right. I'd like to make it up to you. You and Tara and Xander and Anya. I kind of owe them anyway, for showin' up on their stoop out of my tree," Spike sighed and ran a hand through his short spiky hair.
"I heard. I've been worried about you." Willow shook her head. "School starts soon, you know."
"Yeah, and I'm goin' back. I don't have anythin' better to do and I think I need to get into something again. Get my mind off things, get working toward feeling better." Spike nodded.
Willow stared at him for a moment. "Who is she?" She asked. Spike raised his eyebrows, surprised.
"What?"
"Who's the girl?"
"What girl?"
"The one who's got you thinking straight again," Willow said. Spike sputtered for a second and blushed before sighing.
"Name's Buffy. She's my new neighbor, going to UC Sunnydale, too. And it's not like that. I can see the wheels moving in your head, Red. She's… different," Spike said, a thoughtful look on his face.
"Different?" Willow asked skeptically.
"She's not like other girls I've met. There's something about her that draws me in. She's beautiful, yes, but she's more then that. She's helped me out in the past little bit. I've talked to her and she's opened my eyes on some things," Spike explained.
"So are you together?" Willow asked, curious as to who this new woman in Spike's life was.
"No. Well- no. I… We went out last night. And I kissed her. I think she liked it. Actually, I know she liked it, but I was drunk and went and made a mess of everything. Then she took me home and we slept together," Spike told Willow, whose eyes bugged out.
"You slept with her? Spike!"
"What? No! I mean, she took me to her house and I was a wreck so she stayed with me. In the bed. All clothes were on. Well, except for my shirt and our shoes and socks. Will, I was scared last night. More scared then I've been in awhile. And she was there for me. She helped me through it and brought me back," Spike explained slowly.
"We could have been there for you," Willow replied softly. Spike closed his eyes and nodded.
"I know. I threw your offers of help and support in your faces, and I can't apologize enough. I've come to make it up to you. I want to take everyone out to dinner, as a peace offering. I need to find my friends again."
"We were never lost Spike. We've just been waiting for you to realize it," Willow smiled at him. "And I think dinner would be nice. We've missed you."
Spike gave a quick sigh of relief and smiled back. "That's great."
"So, are you bringing this new girl to dinner?" Willow asked.
"I don't know. Hadn't really thought about it. I… think I like her. But I'm not sure. She's been such a good friend, you know? I don't want to mess that up."
"I think you should bring her. She's going to UC Sunnydale with us so we can meet her and be friendly faces for her. And if things happen between the two of you, things happen. You can't stop your life from going on," Willow told him gently. Spike smiled at her.
"So I've been told. You'll tell me what you think of her, if I bring her? Your opinion means a lot to me. You and Xander are about the closest thing I have to real family right now," Spike confided, ducking his head.
"Oh, Spike, of course. We'll be there with bells on! And I'm sure we'll like her. As long as she isn't, you know, evil or psychotic or something."
"Yeah, yeah," Spike laughed, rolling his eyes at the slight dig at his exes. But he didn't want to think of them right then and so instead he talked with Willow for a while, catching up on her life. He had forgotten how much fun it was to just talk with one of his oldest and dearest friends. He had fun too, laughing and making plans for things to do in the coming weeks. He realized that he didn't feel guilty about it either.
Reluctantly he told Willow he had to get going and promised he'd call her later about dinner. Then her went to Xander and Anya's to make a proper apology for being such an ass a few days earlier. He and Xander sat out on the back deck and talked for some time, avoiding topics that involved his mom or his drinking. The conversation eventually steered toward Buffy and Spike found himself explaining to Xander what he had told Buffy.
"So invite her," Xander told him.
"That would be the easy thing to do, wouldn't it?" Spike told him. Xander looked confused.
"It's not so much that I feel guilty over liking her right now, just that I was so weak in front of her. She didn't seem to care but I can't help but wonder what she thinks about me now," Spike said.
"Well what did she say this morning when you work up?" Xander asked. Spike looked down and mumbled.
"I was gone before she got up."
"That probably wasn't a good move, buddy."
"Probably not. I didn't want to face it, you know?"
"You've been avoiding a lot of things lately, Spike. Maybe it's time to start," Xander finally told him, after a few moments of deliberation. Spike sighed and nodded.
"It's time to start getting my life back, hm?" Xander nodded.
Buffy heard the doorbell ring the next morning and wrapped a towel around her head quickly. She dashed down the stairs and opened the door without checking to see who it was. She let out a small gasp when she saw Spike standing there with his hand behind his back.
"I always seem to surprise you when I show up here, eh?" He asked with a small smile. He pulled his hand out from behind his back and showed her a small bouquet of wildflowers he'd brought her from the florist. Buffy took them and stepped aside, letting him in.
"I'm sorry," he told her before she could say anything. "I know I probably scared you yesterday, not bein' here when you work up but I just couldn't stay. I appreciate all you did for me, you have no idea. But it was a little too much for me right now."
Buffy nodded and held the collar of her robe closed with her other hand. She still didn't say anything so Spike took that as a sign to go on. "I owe you- big time. I think I hit rock bottom and you were there to pick me back up. So in small gesture of repayment I'd like to take you out to dinner again." Seeing her skeptical look he went on. "With me and my friends. I need to do some serious ass kissing with them too, so I've asked them to dinner, my treat. I'd like you to come and meet them."
Buffy was silent for a few more minutes. She was relieved more than anything to see him standing in front of her, healthy and alive. She knew that she was here to help him but she couldn't help the anger and hurt she had felt when she had walked back to her house yesterday after talking to his father. She had felt used by him. However he had come back to her and brought a peace offering. She brought the flowers to her nose and smelled them. "Okay," she finally said. "I'll go."
Spike smiled broadly at her. "Great. I'd like to take everyone out before school starts next week so how about this Saturday? Are you free?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," She turned and walked to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. He followed her hesitantly.
"I'm sorry," he told her again. She laid the flowers on the cupboard and turned to face him.
"You scared me," she told him, feeling tears prick her eyes. "That night and then yesterday when I woke up. I didn't know where to find you- if I'd find you at all. I wasn't brought here for this."
"Hey," Spike told her, moving closer to her. He took her in his arms carefully, not sure how she'd respond. She let herself he drawn in but was stiff in his arms until he started rubbing his hand up and down her back and she started to relax. "I was a jerk, okay? But if you hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here right now. I'm better because of you." He was quiet for a moment. "You weren't brought here for this? What were you brought here for?"
Buffy sniffed and looked up at him. "I just meant I'm not used to this. I shouldn't be like this. I'm acting as if I'm the one hurt here, and I'm not. I'm sorry."
Spike shook his head and smiled. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Like I said, you've helped me more than you know. Thank you." He rested his head on top of hers and sighed, wondering why this felt so right. "I don't know if you want to hear this or how appropriate it is, but I think I really like you."
Buffy felt her heart beat faster and the bottom of her world fall away. She was stunned. He liked her? This wasn't supposed to happen. She was sent here to help him, to ease his pain. He wasn't supposed to make her feel like this- so special and important. She wasn't supposed to like him too. It just wasn't meant to happen.
But it had.
She laid her head on his chest and blinked, wondering what she could do. She could still feel his pain so she knew he still needed her help which meant she could be here, in this body, living in this house and near him for awhile. She was living as a human, having human emotions no matter how much she tried to resist them.
With a sigh she murmured, "I think I really like you to."
What happens next? Find out in Part 6.
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