After a few martini's, Hawkeye and Trapper went to the mess tent to have
dinner. They knew it'd be the same slop served up yesterday, except a day
older, but even they couldn't live off of martini's for the whole war. Alex
was looking a littler perkier at a table near the door. She was alone, so
after grabbing trays of what the army tried to pass off as food, Hawkeye
and Trapper went to sit beside her.
'Feeling better?' Trapper asked.
'Yes,' Alex said 'but I probably won't be after eating whatever this green mush is.'
'Oh, that's the broccoli. They cooked it last Friday and keep serving it up to us until it's all gone,' Hawkeye explained. Alex looked up as the door of the mess tent banged open. A short man with dark hair and a red dress marched in, a fur stole around his neck.
'Who the heck is that?' Alex laughed. 'Is he crazy?'
'That's our resident crazy man, Max Klinger. Want to meet him? He's a great lady,' Hawkeye said. They waited for Klinger to get his own slop, then Trapper called him over.
'Hey, Klinger, come sit here. We'd like to introduce you to someone!' Klinger came over to the table, but didn't sit down.
'What can I help you with?' he asked suspiciously, looking at the three sitting at the table.
'Are you crazy? Why are you wearing a dress?' Alex asked, grinning at the dress.
'Of course I'm crazy! Anyone who wears a dress must be crazy!' Klinger shouted so the whole tent could hear. Everyone ignored him, staring at their food and eating whatever they could recognise on their tray.
'Come on, sit down. Max isn't it? Or do you prefer Klinger?' Alex asked.
'Klinger. Are you the new nurse?' Klinger asked.
'Yeah. Call me Alex,' Alex told him. 'Tell me where you got the dress. Does it come in a size ten?' Klinger grinned. He loved talking about fashion, as he thought it might make him appear more crazy.
'Mail order catalogue. I've probably still got it somewhere, if you want to order some of your own dresses,' he said enthusiastically, sitting opposite Alex. Frank and Margaret came into the mess tent next, and Alex gave them a quick salute before she started talking to Klinger. Frank noticed, but looked a little confused. He decided it would be best to keep on moving without paying any attention to Alex. Klinger was talking about where you could get a cheap pair of gloves when Alex finally stopped him.
'It's been great talking to you, Klinger, but I've got Pre-op duty in ten minutes,' Alex said.
'Doesn't matter,' Klinger said. Alex left the mess tent and Klinger turned to Hawkeye and Trapper. 'She's really something, isn't she?' he asked them.
'Yeah, well, we saw her first, and don't you forget it,' Hawkeye replied.
'Yeah, I knew you two would have your eyes on her. Anyway, I'm married,' Klinger said.
'So am I, that's not gonna stop me,' Trapper replied.
'Do you think I bored her with my talk of mail order catalogue dresses?' Klinger asked.
'I don't know about her, but we're definitely sick of hearing about it,' Trapper yawned.
'If you're so scared you've scared her off, go talk to her,' Hawkeye suggested. Klinger nodded, and got up from the table, his meal untouched.
'Hey, Klinger,' Alex said when she saw him near the door. 'If you've gotten those catalogues already, can it please wait?'
'You're a great person, Alex, but I'm just wondering if you think I'm the biggest annoyance in the whole camp. A lot of people think that, but you seemed to actually care about the dress,' Klinger explained.
'I find you interesting, Klinger. I can tell when you're passionate about something, because you're whole face lights up when you're speaking about it. You didn't bore me, or annoy me, just as long as you don't talk about clothes every single time we talk,' Alex said, reading a chart. She looked up at Klinger once she finished it, and grinned at the dress. 'How long have you been wearing those things?' she asked.
'Ever since I was sent here. I want to be sent home on a section eight, you see,' Klinger said.
'Well, you're persistent. I like that. I hope you get out soon,' Alex grinned. Klinger grinned back, and left the tent confidently, heels clicking on the ground. Alex laughed when she noticed them, she hadn't seen them before. Then she went back to work.
'Feeling better?' Trapper asked.
'Yes,' Alex said 'but I probably won't be after eating whatever this green mush is.'
'Oh, that's the broccoli. They cooked it last Friday and keep serving it up to us until it's all gone,' Hawkeye explained. Alex looked up as the door of the mess tent banged open. A short man with dark hair and a red dress marched in, a fur stole around his neck.
'Who the heck is that?' Alex laughed. 'Is he crazy?'
'That's our resident crazy man, Max Klinger. Want to meet him? He's a great lady,' Hawkeye said. They waited for Klinger to get his own slop, then Trapper called him over.
'Hey, Klinger, come sit here. We'd like to introduce you to someone!' Klinger came over to the table, but didn't sit down.
'What can I help you with?' he asked suspiciously, looking at the three sitting at the table.
'Are you crazy? Why are you wearing a dress?' Alex asked, grinning at the dress.
'Of course I'm crazy! Anyone who wears a dress must be crazy!' Klinger shouted so the whole tent could hear. Everyone ignored him, staring at their food and eating whatever they could recognise on their tray.
'Come on, sit down. Max isn't it? Or do you prefer Klinger?' Alex asked.
'Klinger. Are you the new nurse?' Klinger asked.
'Yeah. Call me Alex,' Alex told him. 'Tell me where you got the dress. Does it come in a size ten?' Klinger grinned. He loved talking about fashion, as he thought it might make him appear more crazy.
'Mail order catalogue. I've probably still got it somewhere, if you want to order some of your own dresses,' he said enthusiastically, sitting opposite Alex. Frank and Margaret came into the mess tent next, and Alex gave them a quick salute before she started talking to Klinger. Frank noticed, but looked a little confused. He decided it would be best to keep on moving without paying any attention to Alex. Klinger was talking about where you could get a cheap pair of gloves when Alex finally stopped him.
'It's been great talking to you, Klinger, but I've got Pre-op duty in ten minutes,' Alex said.
'Doesn't matter,' Klinger said. Alex left the mess tent and Klinger turned to Hawkeye and Trapper. 'She's really something, isn't she?' he asked them.
'Yeah, well, we saw her first, and don't you forget it,' Hawkeye replied.
'Yeah, I knew you two would have your eyes on her. Anyway, I'm married,' Klinger said.
'So am I, that's not gonna stop me,' Trapper replied.
'Do you think I bored her with my talk of mail order catalogue dresses?' Klinger asked.
'I don't know about her, but we're definitely sick of hearing about it,' Trapper yawned.
'If you're so scared you've scared her off, go talk to her,' Hawkeye suggested. Klinger nodded, and got up from the table, his meal untouched.
'Hey, Klinger,' Alex said when she saw him near the door. 'If you've gotten those catalogues already, can it please wait?'
'You're a great person, Alex, but I'm just wondering if you think I'm the biggest annoyance in the whole camp. A lot of people think that, but you seemed to actually care about the dress,' Klinger explained.
'I find you interesting, Klinger. I can tell when you're passionate about something, because you're whole face lights up when you're speaking about it. You didn't bore me, or annoy me, just as long as you don't talk about clothes every single time we talk,' Alex said, reading a chart. She looked up at Klinger once she finished it, and grinned at the dress. 'How long have you been wearing those things?' she asked.
'Ever since I was sent here. I want to be sent home on a section eight, you see,' Klinger said.
'Well, you're persistent. I like that. I hope you get out soon,' Alex grinned. Klinger grinned back, and left the tent confidently, heels clicking on the ground. Alex laughed when she noticed them, she hadn't seen them before. Then she went back to work.