'Uh, lieutenant?' Radar asked.
'Yep?' Alex turned around from her breakfast the next morning to see the short guy with glasses.
'Colonel Henry Blake would like to see you,' Radar said.
'Ok, thanks. Klinger, talk to you at lunch,' Alex said, getting up and waving a hand at Klinger. On the way to Henry's office, Alex talked to Radar.
'You're company clerk, right?' Alex asked.
'Uh, yes, sir, uh, ma'am,' Radar said nervously.
'Don't worry about that ma'am stuff. Just call me Alex,' Alex told Radar, smiling. 'What am I supposed to call you?'
'Radar,' he said, smiling back, still very jittery.
'How'd you get the name Radar? It's not your real name, is it?' Alex asked.
'No, I know what people are thinking. And I can hear stuff that's coming,' Radar explained.
'Give me an example,' Alex pleaded.
'Alright, well, uh, if there are choppers coming with wounded on them, I can hear them before anyone else,' Radar said.
'That's pretty cool,' Alex said. 'My friends used to call me Alexander, after Alexander the Great, because I'm a quick thinker and a good leader. And because my name is Alexia,' Alex said.
'Wow,' Radar said.
'But it's nowhere as cool as your name,' Alex told Radar as they reached Henry's office door.
'Thanks,' Radar smiled a little. He was nervous around Alex, but he was definitely feeling more comfortable with her. Alex went into Henry's office, and saluted him before sitting down.
'Aw, don't bother with saluting me. It makes me feel uncomfortable,' he said.
'Sorry. I suppose you don't like being called sir, either?' Alex asked.
'No, not really. Just call me Henry. Everyone else does,' Henry said.
'What did you want to see me about, Henry?' Alex asked.
'I've seen you talking to Klinger, and we all know he's being aiming for a psycho discharge for ages. What I want to know is if you think he's really nuts,' Henry told her.
'On one hand, I'd say he isn't, because I've gotten to know him, and although he seems crazy, he really isn't, just trying to get out of the army. On the other hand, I'd say he is crazy, because he has been trying so long to get home on that section eight he wants, and he deserves something for trying,' Alex said.
'I'll agree, he does deserve some sort of a reward for the effort, but if he isn't crazy, he isn't crazy. If the army found out I had let a sane man go home on a section eight, do you know how much trouble I'd be in?' Henry asked.
'I understand,' Alex said. 'Just don't tell Klinger I blew his ticket out of here, otherwise he'd probably strangle me with his fur stole.' Henry laughed.
'Do you drink scotch?' he asked, going to his alcohol cabinet and pulling out a half empty bottle.
'Just a little. I was going to have a martini or two with Hawkeye and Trapper later, but if I have too much, I might do something that I'll regret,' Alex replied. Henry nodded, and tipped a little of the bottles contents into two glasses. They drank it silently, and Alex stood up.
'Thanks for the drink, Henry. Next time, I'll share some of my own stuff with you, Trapper and Hawkeye,' she said, and she left the room.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
Alex knocked on Major Houlihan's tent door, then walked in without waiting for a reply. It took hard work to keep a straight look on her face when Alex found Margaret and Frank standing beside each other, looking embarrassed.
'Don't you know to wait until I allow you in?' Margaret snapped.
'Sorry, Majors,' Alex said, still trying not to grin. She knew subconsciously that these were two people not to cross. Alex quickly saluted them both before continuing. 'Major Houlihan, you wanted to see me sometime tonight, and I thought now was as good as any,' Alex said.
'Please sit down, lieutenant,' Margaret said. Alex sat on one of the two chairs in the tent, and Margaret got another one from beside a cupboard for Frank to sit on. From the corner of her eye, Alex saw Frank blow out a candle on the table, and Alex had to fight hard to stop from smiling. She knew what had been going on here. Frank and Margaret sat down on the two chairs left and looked at Alex. Alex stared back, a smile floating on her lips.
'May we call you Alex?' Margaret asked.
'May I call you Margaret?' Alex asked. Margaret looked a little annoyed, but she nodded anyway. 'Yes, you may call me Alex,' Alex said, smiling pleasantly.
'Alex, you are young and impressionable. I don't think it's a wise idea for you to be around doctors Pierce and McIntire,' Margaret said. 'They are, womanizers, I suppose you could call them, and probably would take advantage of you if you were to drink too much from their Still.'
'I know all this. I know Hawkeye and Trapper chase women around a fair bit, and I'm very careful when I drink with them. If I feel a slight bit tipsy, I leave. They haven't tried anything yet, and I don't believe they would without my permission,' Alex replied.
'You realise that both you and them would be in serious trouble if you were caught, doing anything, like.' Franks said, trying to think of what he would call it.
'Like what you and Margaret were planning to do tonight? Yes, I know that, but Henry is an understanding man, Major, I think I would get off, if I were caught,' Alex said, making sure there was extra emphasis on the word if. Alex got up. 'If you don't mind, Margaret, Major, I'll be leaving and let you two get on with whatever you were planning to do tonight,' Alex said pleasantly, and she closed the door behind her. As soon as she was out of the tent, her face burst into a smile, but she waited until she was further away to start laughing. She went to the Swamp to tell Hawkeye and Trapper about it.
'Yep?' Alex turned around from her breakfast the next morning to see the short guy with glasses.
'Colonel Henry Blake would like to see you,' Radar said.
'Ok, thanks. Klinger, talk to you at lunch,' Alex said, getting up and waving a hand at Klinger. On the way to Henry's office, Alex talked to Radar.
'You're company clerk, right?' Alex asked.
'Uh, yes, sir, uh, ma'am,' Radar said nervously.
'Don't worry about that ma'am stuff. Just call me Alex,' Alex told Radar, smiling. 'What am I supposed to call you?'
'Radar,' he said, smiling back, still very jittery.
'How'd you get the name Radar? It's not your real name, is it?' Alex asked.
'No, I know what people are thinking. And I can hear stuff that's coming,' Radar explained.
'Give me an example,' Alex pleaded.
'Alright, well, uh, if there are choppers coming with wounded on them, I can hear them before anyone else,' Radar said.
'That's pretty cool,' Alex said. 'My friends used to call me Alexander, after Alexander the Great, because I'm a quick thinker and a good leader. And because my name is Alexia,' Alex said.
'Wow,' Radar said.
'But it's nowhere as cool as your name,' Alex told Radar as they reached Henry's office door.
'Thanks,' Radar smiled a little. He was nervous around Alex, but he was definitely feeling more comfortable with her. Alex went into Henry's office, and saluted him before sitting down.
'Aw, don't bother with saluting me. It makes me feel uncomfortable,' he said.
'Sorry. I suppose you don't like being called sir, either?' Alex asked.
'No, not really. Just call me Henry. Everyone else does,' Henry said.
'What did you want to see me about, Henry?' Alex asked.
'I've seen you talking to Klinger, and we all know he's being aiming for a psycho discharge for ages. What I want to know is if you think he's really nuts,' Henry told her.
'On one hand, I'd say he isn't, because I've gotten to know him, and although he seems crazy, he really isn't, just trying to get out of the army. On the other hand, I'd say he is crazy, because he has been trying so long to get home on that section eight he wants, and he deserves something for trying,' Alex said.
'I'll agree, he does deserve some sort of a reward for the effort, but if he isn't crazy, he isn't crazy. If the army found out I had let a sane man go home on a section eight, do you know how much trouble I'd be in?' Henry asked.
'I understand,' Alex said. 'Just don't tell Klinger I blew his ticket out of here, otherwise he'd probably strangle me with his fur stole.' Henry laughed.
'Do you drink scotch?' he asked, going to his alcohol cabinet and pulling out a half empty bottle.
'Just a little. I was going to have a martini or two with Hawkeye and Trapper later, but if I have too much, I might do something that I'll regret,' Alex replied. Henry nodded, and tipped a little of the bottles contents into two glasses. They drank it silently, and Alex stood up.
'Thanks for the drink, Henry. Next time, I'll share some of my own stuff with you, Trapper and Hawkeye,' she said, and she left the room.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
Alex knocked on Major Houlihan's tent door, then walked in without waiting for a reply. It took hard work to keep a straight look on her face when Alex found Margaret and Frank standing beside each other, looking embarrassed.
'Don't you know to wait until I allow you in?' Margaret snapped.
'Sorry, Majors,' Alex said, still trying not to grin. She knew subconsciously that these were two people not to cross. Alex quickly saluted them both before continuing. 'Major Houlihan, you wanted to see me sometime tonight, and I thought now was as good as any,' Alex said.
'Please sit down, lieutenant,' Margaret said. Alex sat on one of the two chairs in the tent, and Margaret got another one from beside a cupboard for Frank to sit on. From the corner of her eye, Alex saw Frank blow out a candle on the table, and Alex had to fight hard to stop from smiling. She knew what had been going on here. Frank and Margaret sat down on the two chairs left and looked at Alex. Alex stared back, a smile floating on her lips.
'May we call you Alex?' Margaret asked.
'May I call you Margaret?' Alex asked. Margaret looked a little annoyed, but she nodded anyway. 'Yes, you may call me Alex,' Alex said, smiling pleasantly.
'Alex, you are young and impressionable. I don't think it's a wise idea for you to be around doctors Pierce and McIntire,' Margaret said. 'They are, womanizers, I suppose you could call them, and probably would take advantage of you if you were to drink too much from their Still.'
'I know all this. I know Hawkeye and Trapper chase women around a fair bit, and I'm very careful when I drink with them. If I feel a slight bit tipsy, I leave. They haven't tried anything yet, and I don't believe they would without my permission,' Alex replied.
'You realise that both you and them would be in serious trouble if you were caught, doing anything, like.' Franks said, trying to think of what he would call it.
'Like what you and Margaret were planning to do tonight? Yes, I know that, but Henry is an understanding man, Major, I think I would get off, if I were caught,' Alex said, making sure there was extra emphasis on the word if. Alex got up. 'If you don't mind, Margaret, Major, I'll be leaving and let you two get on with whatever you were planning to do tonight,' Alex said pleasantly, and she closed the door behind her. As soon as she was out of the tent, her face burst into a smile, but she waited until she was further away to start laughing. She went to the Swamp to tell Hawkeye and Trapper about it.