Authors Note: Hey guys sorry for the wait. I have chapter four up, and I would just like to say a big THANKS to everyone who has reviewed and stuck by me. I had a few people who did not like the direction the story was taking, and I am not sure if they are still reading. But if they are I will tell you why I made Abby's coma three years long. I wanted to show how the children, grew and changed and how not having their mother with them for a long period of time impacted them negatively. I also wanted to jump ahead a few years, so I could show the children getting older. The next few chapters are going to be pretty much Carby angst, for all the people out there who like angst. Check out authors note at the bottom.
Thank You- I owe a lot of people thanks, so here's a few... If you do not see your name here, don't fret your name will definitely be up soon. Here's to all the people who reviewed my story once, I don't know if you still read it but thanks too.. 'Bec, Ficfan1, Slammin Sammy, Carby 24/7, ShatteredDreamz1, Jconeg, Athletic charmed one, Honey bear 1, Prue Halliwell- Trudeau, No1-Carby-fan, Carter John 1, Jo7, Lemon Jelly, Abby Lockhart, Sweet Kittie, Carbyluva, Lupylu1! Thanks to all of you for your reviews :)
Chapter Four
-----------------------------
If you don't know where
your going, any road will
take you there
-----------------------------
"Ouch." I say as I trip over a toy truck left on the carpet by one of the boys. "What's wrong?" Zac asks me looking up from the television. "Nothing baby, I just tripped over a truck." I answer sitting down rubbing my injured foot.
"Oh...I think that's Logan's." He says popping a cheerio into his mouth and turning back to blues clues. That would make sense, Logan seems to hate me lately. Or at least out to get me. I just don't know how to deal with him. Carter made an appointment for the three of us to see his therapist today. I can do that for my son, I don't like talking to shrinks but I'd do anything for my son, including this. "Come on Zac we are going to preschool now." I say picking the boy up off the ground and walking towards the front door with him. He groans not wanting to leave, Carter walks out with Lexie in his right hand, and her back pack in his left. "Where's Mason?" I ask.
He shrugs setting Lexie down on the couch. "He's hiding." Zac informs me.
"Hiding?" I question. Carter brings his fingers up to his lips to shush me. I look at him a little puzzled as he crouches around the house lifting pillows up and looking under the couch. I get Alexis and Zachary ready to leave wrapping them in their jackets and pulling hats on their heads. "There you are you little monster." Carter says grabbing Mason out of the kitchen cabinet and tickling the shrieking boy. "Time for school." He announces pulling on Mason's jacket and zipping it up while still holding on to him tightly.
"You found me Daddy!" Mason laughs. Carter grins at him, then places him up right on the floor. "Lets go troops." He say pointing towards the door.
The kids line up at the door at start to march. It is cute, I guess he has to have routine
to getting these kids out of the house on time everyday.
"Want to take the EL?" He asks carefully, as though I might jump down his throat if he speaks to loud or forcefully. "Sure." I say grabbing onto Zachary's hand.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Never give up if u still want to try* *Never wipe your tears if u still want to cry* *Never settle for the answer if u still want to know* *Never say u don't like him if u can't let him go*
-------------------------------------------------------------
I fidget nervously in my seat as the three of us wait for the psychiatrist to come in. We are all seated on the couch, Logan situated in between Carter and I. He stares blankly ahead, taking in his familiar surroundings. I look down at him, his blonde hair starting to curl, from the length. I reach over and push a strand back. As he slowly looks up at me, with a soft stare, not his usual cold hard glare. I take his hand and place it in mine, as I smile reassuringly at him, I know he does not need to be reassures, but right now I do.
Logan swiftly turns his head to face his father. He smile broadly at him, then reaches over and plays with the buttons on his suit. Carter works about 20 minutes after the appointment, so hopefully everything will go well, so I can take Logan back to school and he won't want to kill me. I hear a noise at the door and my attention immediately goes there. A man walks in, he looks to be about 45, he smiles at all three of us and then takes a seat across from us. "So..." He starts "How's everything Logan?"
"Its okay." He answers, slowly pulling his hand away from mine, this disappoints me, he is still holding onto his fathers jacket. "Well your mommy and daddy have come in today so we can all talk." The man says with a smile.
"I know." Logan responds.
"Well Logan, why don't you tell them why you wanted them to come in."
"mommy doesn't love daddy." He mumbles. The heavy psychiatrist looks at me, and I frown, Carter on the other hand keeps his sights set on Logan's, sad face. "Okay, go on Logan, why do you think this?" The man pushes.
"Because, she slept, and when daddy would ask her to wake up she would keep sleeping." He mopes. "Okay, keep going. The only way we can make this better is if you talk about it."
"And, she never wants to talk to daddy, now that she is awake. She always walks away from him when he tries to talk to her. Daddy told me he loves her, but how can he love someone who doesn't love him?" Logan asks bringing his eyes up to look at the shrink.
The man nods and then Carter starts to speak. "Logan, mommy, and daddy have things we have to get through, but this doesn't mean we love you any less." His response makes me wonder. I have been keeping my distance from Carter lately and I am not sure why. I don't know if I love him anymore. "I know, but I don't want to move again. I don't want you guys to fight." He says, wiping his face with his hand.
"Logan..." I start. "When I was asleep, you and daddy, and Jer, Zac, Lexie, and Mason, kept living without me. You all have your own lives, and now I am just trying to become a part of them again. Your daddy and I will work things out." I assure.
"But how if you never talk to him." The boy makes a good point.
"I- I promise I will talk to your father about things." I will too, just for my son, and the sake of our relationship. Logan nods.
"Well, Logan I think I want to talk to mommy and daddy okay?" The Doctor says.
"Okay." Logan says smiling a bit. "I love you mommy. He says wrapping his arms around my neck. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you all those years sweetie." I say caressing his back softly. Logan walks out into the children's play area, whilst the Doctor keeps his gaze on the pair of us. We are still situated a cushion apart.
"I think you two need to work out your problems, before your children can be truly hapy." The doctor lectures. "I think you need to start now, because a 6 year olds happiness lies within your hands. Not to mention 4 other kids, that you have brought into this world, under weird circumstances. I can schedule an appointment for you." The doctor offers.
I look at Carter and single this is not an idea I would like to pursue. "Um- no thanks." Carter answers. The shrink gets up and leaves, leaving us by ourselves. "He's right you know." Carter say breaking the silence.
"Who? about what?"
"Logan, things are different... You don't love me do you?" Carter presses.
"John-" I say softly.
"Don't even bother Abby, I don't know why I did, I should have known it was the pregnancy talking when we got back together anyways. It wasn't you. You never loved me. You probably never will." He tells me furiously. His eyes are full of rage, yet a hurt look is on his face. His eyes shining from unshed tears. I watch him go, and look down twisting the ring on my finger. Feeling, hurt, pain and love all in one for the first time in three years. Maybe I do love him. I don't know.
-------------------------------
you cant kill something
that doesn't want to die
-------------------------------
Authors Note- From which Characters point of view should I write about next?
Options- Carter, Abby, Mason, Zachary, Lexie, Luka, Susan, Jeremy, Logan, the nurse Carrie or the Nanny Kelly.
Thank You- I owe a lot of people thanks, so here's a few... If you do not see your name here, don't fret your name will definitely be up soon. Here's to all the people who reviewed my story once, I don't know if you still read it but thanks too.. 'Bec, Ficfan1, Slammin Sammy, Carby 24/7, ShatteredDreamz1, Jconeg, Athletic charmed one, Honey bear 1, Prue Halliwell- Trudeau, No1-Carby-fan, Carter John 1, Jo7, Lemon Jelly, Abby Lockhart, Sweet Kittie, Carbyluva, Lupylu1! Thanks to all of you for your reviews :)
Chapter Four
-----------------------------
If you don't know where
your going, any road will
take you there
-----------------------------
"Ouch." I say as I trip over a toy truck left on the carpet by one of the boys. "What's wrong?" Zac asks me looking up from the television. "Nothing baby, I just tripped over a truck." I answer sitting down rubbing my injured foot.
"Oh...I think that's Logan's." He says popping a cheerio into his mouth and turning back to blues clues. That would make sense, Logan seems to hate me lately. Or at least out to get me. I just don't know how to deal with him. Carter made an appointment for the three of us to see his therapist today. I can do that for my son, I don't like talking to shrinks but I'd do anything for my son, including this. "Come on Zac we are going to preschool now." I say picking the boy up off the ground and walking towards the front door with him. He groans not wanting to leave, Carter walks out with Lexie in his right hand, and her back pack in his left. "Where's Mason?" I ask.
He shrugs setting Lexie down on the couch. "He's hiding." Zac informs me.
"Hiding?" I question. Carter brings his fingers up to his lips to shush me. I look at him a little puzzled as he crouches around the house lifting pillows up and looking under the couch. I get Alexis and Zachary ready to leave wrapping them in their jackets and pulling hats on their heads. "There you are you little monster." Carter says grabbing Mason out of the kitchen cabinet and tickling the shrieking boy. "Time for school." He announces pulling on Mason's jacket and zipping it up while still holding on to him tightly.
"You found me Daddy!" Mason laughs. Carter grins at him, then places him up right on the floor. "Lets go troops." He say pointing towards the door.
The kids line up at the door at start to march. It is cute, I guess he has to have routine
to getting these kids out of the house on time everyday.
"Want to take the EL?" He asks carefully, as though I might jump down his throat if he speaks to loud or forcefully. "Sure." I say grabbing onto Zachary's hand.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Never give up if u still want to try* *Never wipe your tears if u still want to cry* *Never settle for the answer if u still want to know* *Never say u don't like him if u can't let him go*
-------------------------------------------------------------
I fidget nervously in my seat as the three of us wait for the psychiatrist to come in. We are all seated on the couch, Logan situated in between Carter and I. He stares blankly ahead, taking in his familiar surroundings. I look down at him, his blonde hair starting to curl, from the length. I reach over and push a strand back. As he slowly looks up at me, with a soft stare, not his usual cold hard glare. I take his hand and place it in mine, as I smile reassuringly at him, I know he does not need to be reassures, but right now I do.
Logan swiftly turns his head to face his father. He smile broadly at him, then reaches over and plays with the buttons on his suit. Carter works about 20 minutes after the appointment, so hopefully everything will go well, so I can take Logan back to school and he won't want to kill me. I hear a noise at the door and my attention immediately goes there. A man walks in, he looks to be about 45, he smiles at all three of us and then takes a seat across from us. "So..." He starts "How's everything Logan?"
"Its okay." He answers, slowly pulling his hand away from mine, this disappoints me, he is still holding onto his fathers jacket. "Well your mommy and daddy have come in today so we can all talk." The man says with a smile.
"I know." Logan responds.
"Well Logan, why don't you tell them why you wanted them to come in."
"mommy doesn't love daddy." He mumbles. The heavy psychiatrist looks at me, and I frown, Carter on the other hand keeps his sights set on Logan's, sad face. "Okay, go on Logan, why do you think this?" The man pushes.
"Because, she slept, and when daddy would ask her to wake up she would keep sleeping." He mopes. "Okay, keep going. The only way we can make this better is if you talk about it."
"And, she never wants to talk to daddy, now that she is awake. She always walks away from him when he tries to talk to her. Daddy told me he loves her, but how can he love someone who doesn't love him?" Logan asks bringing his eyes up to look at the shrink.
The man nods and then Carter starts to speak. "Logan, mommy, and daddy have things we have to get through, but this doesn't mean we love you any less." His response makes me wonder. I have been keeping my distance from Carter lately and I am not sure why. I don't know if I love him anymore. "I know, but I don't want to move again. I don't want you guys to fight." He says, wiping his face with his hand.
"Logan..." I start. "When I was asleep, you and daddy, and Jer, Zac, Lexie, and Mason, kept living without me. You all have your own lives, and now I am just trying to become a part of them again. Your daddy and I will work things out." I assure.
"But how if you never talk to him." The boy makes a good point.
"I- I promise I will talk to your father about things." I will too, just for my son, and the sake of our relationship. Logan nods.
"Well, Logan I think I want to talk to mommy and daddy okay?" The Doctor says.
"Okay." Logan says smiling a bit. "I love you mommy. He says wrapping his arms around my neck. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you all those years sweetie." I say caressing his back softly. Logan walks out into the children's play area, whilst the Doctor keeps his gaze on the pair of us. We are still situated a cushion apart.
"I think you two need to work out your problems, before your children can be truly hapy." The doctor lectures. "I think you need to start now, because a 6 year olds happiness lies within your hands. Not to mention 4 other kids, that you have brought into this world, under weird circumstances. I can schedule an appointment for you." The doctor offers.
I look at Carter and single this is not an idea I would like to pursue. "Um- no thanks." Carter answers. The shrink gets up and leaves, leaving us by ourselves. "He's right you know." Carter say breaking the silence.
"Who? about what?"
"Logan, things are different... You don't love me do you?" Carter presses.
"John-" I say softly.
"Don't even bother Abby, I don't know why I did, I should have known it was the pregnancy talking when we got back together anyways. It wasn't you. You never loved me. You probably never will." He tells me furiously. His eyes are full of rage, yet a hurt look is on his face. His eyes shining from unshed tears. I watch him go, and look down twisting the ring on my finger. Feeling, hurt, pain and love all in one for the first time in three years. Maybe I do love him. I don't know.
-------------------------------
you cant kill something
that doesn't want to die
-------------------------------
Authors Note- From which Characters point of view should I write about next?
Options- Carter, Abby, Mason, Zachary, Lexie, Luka, Susan, Jeremy, Logan, the nurse Carrie or the Nanny Kelly.