Façade
Written by Olivia Regina Szendi
Authors note: Well, I got nothing to say so read…
Prologue:
I was alone, and forever to be destined to that fate. Never may I know the love of another or kindness of a friend. I may only know the darkness and it cold embrace. I was so afraid when the darkness first gripped my heart, but now, I accept it.
Everyone sees me as flawless, the perfect being. But it's just a lie, a front to what lies beneath. If you were to drift into my real world, you too would be lost in this hellish nightmare, a dream that you can never wake up from. And I- I don't want those I love to be trapped in my hell. So I push everyone I care for away, I make sure that no one gets close enough to see the real me and what lies beneath the surface.
I am the perfect deceiver the liar you would never expect. The person who could never do wrong. The one who brings joy into the hearts of all… but I wonder, how could I bring joy when all I feel is nothing…I have been lost in the shadows all my life and I can never seem to find my way out.
And everyone believed there was nothing wrong, that everything was perfectly normal in my mind. How wrong they were… I just want to wake from this dream and to see the light instead of the darkness. I feel nothing anymore because the dark has robbed me of emotion. I am, in other words, dead. I am just a vessel for the pain. A shell that never can be broken.
Except by you…
You broke the tough exterior and freed me from the darkness. Pulled me from the depths of hell and I was happy… I was genuinely happy and didn't have to fake the smiles anymore. But, the darkness found its way back into my heart. Slowly it drew me back into the shell and I was unreachable even by you. I had to watch from the sidelines as you too was slowly consumed by darkness.
It drove you mad… the darkness that is. And you soon realized the depths of my pain. I didn't want to see you suffer, I didn't want to watch you crumble but I was a prisoner in my own mind. Forced to watch as you slowly broke, like I had…
Everyday hurtful words would unconsciously make their way from my lips into your heart. I…no it wasn't I but the evil in my mind that drove you to the brink of your sanity. But even if it was truly the darkness that drove you insane I have no doubt it was I who pushed you off the edge of the cliff. And watched you fall into deaths grasp…
Suicide… I didn't think I was capable of making one wish they were dead. But it just proves how much of a monster I am…How cruel one can be when their dying from the inside. I was afraid of hurting you so I pushed you away. But instead of just hurting you I killed you and drove you to deaths door, practically escorting you to the grips of the soul stealer…
After you left I promised myself I would never let anyone in again, never again would I watch another crumble from the hurtful words…
Destined to be alone, I wait until eternity is over and when time comes to an end. Maybe, maybe then I will get to see you and let you into my world, a world of pain and chaos. Then you could see the real me… a tormented soul and a broken mind…
Until that day comes I will forever be alone, in my nightmare, my hell…my façade.