Okay, so I lied.
I felt disconnected from my own body, as if I was watching a TV special -- admittedly, remarkably real -- on the horrible tragedy that had happened to someone else. Anyone else. I let the seagull mind sweep me away and swooped down, landing neatly beside a McDonald's burger, half-eaten, wrapped in its pretty yellow wrapper... my beak darted into the meat quickly. I lost myself.
Wake up, Rachel.
Disgusted, I opened my wings again and swooped up. What to do, where to go. Hmm. City. Human morph, it had to be a morph, I couldn't be me. What now... Who to acquire? My thoughts were distracted. A shudder ripped savagely through me, through my body, through the small white form with the acrobatic dark wings. Not like red-tailed wings, not like Tobias's wings.
My Tobias.
Stop it!
The mall. It was a big mall, bigger than our mall. This was a city, after all. I headed there.
I needed clothes. Even if I found a human morph, I'd need clothes. That was a problem. I had no money.
What fits in in a mall parking lot? I needed to make friends with a human, a human I could later acquire. What kind of animal would a human take home? The answer was obvious to me. A human would take Fluffer McKitty home.
Melissa. Cassie. Jake. Marco. Names hit me like a flood. That mission. Chapman, Visser Three.
Get a grip! I roared at myself. I plunged towards the dumpsters behind the mall. Feel pain, you simpering twit! You're weak! You need them, you know you need them, get a grip!
Feel pain!
I hit the pavement in a seagull dive. I felt my bones give way. That was okay. I was going to demorph anyway. But for a moment I lay there, punishing myself, feeling the ferocious pain vibrating through my bones. My broken bones. This would have killed me if I couldn't demorph. This is the price of weakness, Rachel.
I looked around me. I was sheltered behind the Dumpsters. Good place to change morphs. Well, not good, but better than being out in the middle of the parking lot.
I demorphed. The process was quick and my mind was elsewhere. I was almost surprised when I felt my blond hair sway against my cheek. I'd expected feathers.
I really am losing it... Xena, you can't lose it. I chuckled to myself. Xena. Yeah, I'll be Xena. Those Yeerks will remember Xena for a long, long time.
Quick morph back to cat, I coached myself. Do it now.
Finished, I reared my kitty head and felt the grace as I moved. Running. Running for an entrance.
Everything seemed to be moving too fast. My brain was still back there in the school bathroom, groping at the screen window, crying silently, waiting to morph or die. A kitty? A kitty in a parking lot? How did I get here?
Now to pose. I almost laughed at the insanity of my own plan. Run across a parking lot, try not to get hit, get a human to adopt me, morph that human, live. Fail any of those and die.
I hid out under a parked car for a few moments, silently falling apart. Remembering things. Remembering fun.
"Squuuuaaaakkk! Amazon burgers are made with cat meat!" I chirped cheerfully, ruffling my orange and yellow feathers. Then, for effect, I added another "Squuuuaaaakkk!" It felt like a spelling bee -- "Squawk, s-q-u-a-w-k, squawk."
I was enjoying myself. Beside me, Marco was enjoying himself, too. "Squuuuaaaakkk! Try our spaghetti with hair!"
Our mission: To free the parrots. It felt good to take a break from killing things and save a few, even if it was an environmentally crazed mission. The birds were smart and they deserved to be rescued. The Animorphs were just the crazy kids to do it.
I could see cars whizzing by all around me, searching for a parking space. Girls heading to the entrance, blond girls, girls like me, girls with sparks in their blue eyes and a boyfriends' arms on their shoulders.
No, no, not like me. My boyfriend had wings. If he was even that. How can a girl belong to a bird?
I stumbled out from under the car, doggedly trying to escape my own thoughts. They tagged along behind me, twirled through my head, shoved me forward --
Leaning on the horn! Someone. Who was it? Was it my mother? She always leaned on the horn too much --
Squeal! A gust of wind hit me as a car swerved past, its tires shrieking from the too-sharp curve. I stared after it stupidly. Then it hit me: I wasn't in the Amazon Cafe anymore. I was almost in the Roadkill Cafe.
"Oh, poor kitty!" The girl had stopped the car and stepped out, and with my cat senses I could tell she was coming off an adrenaline high. She picked me up, stroking my black-and-white fur. "What are you doing here? Parking lots aren't good places for kitties," she crooned. "No collar? No tags? Are you a stray?"
My plan was coming together through sheer dumb luck. "Mew?" I asked pathetically.
"Ohh, you are?" She was still crooning. "You need a good meal," she added, despite the fact that since my DNA was taken from a housecat I was the picture of nutritional health. I let out a pitiful little yowl and scrabbled weakly, like cute stray cats do.
She deposited me on the leather seat of her car. I looked at her. She was maybe eighteen, a few years older than I. Long blonde hair. Blue eyes. Tall, thin. Beautiful. I saw a glimmer of myself in her features, and for a moment it confused me, like I was supposed to know her. The kind of vibe you get off people who you know you'll see again, or are supposed to see again. I don't believe in New Age crap but I got a chill or two anyway.
"What's your name, Kitty?" She smiled, glancing at me. I could see a few Limited bags in the back seat. She had taste.
My first instinct was to answer her, sadly enough. I was a cat, I didn't have to answer.
"How about... Hawk?" She chuckled quietly. "Hawks are predators too. Like you. Only they can fly." Another smile, perfect smile, perfect teeth. "I'd love to fly."
I wanted to ask her name. She was fascinating. A kind of intelligence lurked in her blue eyes, a certain sharpness in her gaze. Nothing overt, just in the background, taking a backseat to her gold hair and charming smile.
She reminded me of me. I shuddered, like I had in seagull morph.
"You're Hawk," she confirmed, having evidently thought it over. She glanced at me and the corners of her full lips tugged upwards. "And I'm Taylor."
[A/N: Thanks for the constructive criticisms on the cheetah/blue box thing. I did fix those. ^^ If you assume I'm going to get the chronology wrong since I mentioned Taylor, please don't. I do have a plan and hopefully I won't be an idiot with it. Thanks.]