Yu Yu Hakusho

Krazy Keiko!

by Angry Hiei

Keiko Yukimura walked down the street to Yusuke's house one day. She took a good look around her and saw Kurama and Yusuke talking outside of a store. She smiled and walked right up to them with one hand in her purse.

Kurama smiled back, "Hello, Keiko.

Yusuke grinned, "Yo."

"Hi!" said Keiko, "Do you know what time it is?!"

Yusuke shook his head, "I don't own no watch."

Kurama shrugged, "I have no idea what time it is."

Keiko grinned, "I do! It's time to die! Time to die!" She pulled out a chainsaw and revved it up, chasing the two down the street. That is, until she ran by Yukina, who was shopping with Botan. She stopped in her tracks and grinned evilly at the two, "The ice hussy and that grim reaper bitch! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

She then chased them both down the street and caught up to Yukina, chopping her up with glorious glee. Her cold blood flew everywhere as Keiko danced about with her mouth wide open, "Bloodbath, bloodbath, I'm taking a blood bath!"

Botan ran as fast as she could, but she ran into a dead end. She turned around just in time to see Keiko and her friendly, bloody chainsaw. Keiko skipped up to Botan, "Chop up the oar girl, chop up the oar girl! Time for you to DIE! Lalalala......KILL!"

She laughed happily as she chopped Botan into little pieces, splashing her blood all over the place. Botan's head was then stuffed inside of Keiko's purse as she walked away, covered in Yukina's and Botan's blood. She whistled as if she didn't do anything.

She continued on her way to see Hiei crying over his sister's dead body and swearing revenge. Keiko patted him on the back, "Hiei, it's going to be okay!" She whipped out her chainsaw and cut his head of, "HAR HAR HAR!"

*later that night*

Yusuke got a knock on his door. Being the tough, brick-headed bastard he his, he opened it and there stood Keiko, covered in blood. She looked up at him and started to cry, "Yusuke....please help me!" She ran into his arms and cried her eyes out.

Yusuke softened up and said, "Keiko, what's wrong?" Yusuke suddenly felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He looked down to see Keiko grinning at him and Hiei's sword shoved in his gut.

She laughed, "Yusuke bloody! Yusuke DIE! Tee hee!"

Yusuke hit the floor with a dull thud and lied there in a pool of his own blood....in which Keiko tapped danced in with a top hat and cain, "Cha-cha! Hah-cha!"

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Kurama slept peacefully in his room. He suddenly felt something slimey and warm moving up and down his leg. He tossed and turned until he finally woke up. He saw that the sheets had a big lump in them by where his legs were. Throwing off the sheets, there was Keiko, licking and kissing his legs. He was about to chew her out for trying to cheat on Yusuke, but then he noticed that his feet were cuffed to the bed and Keiko had a pair of big scissors.

Remembering that he like sleeping nude, Kurama didn't like where this was going. Keiko looked up at him with a half kinky, half psyhcotic smile, "All meat must be cut and weighed, Kurama...."

Kurama shrieked like a banshee, "Mother..Hiei...Yusuke! Help!"

Keiko laughed, "Don't worry. You can see them all in spirit world! They're waiting for you!"

Kurama just stared, "You...killed them?! I-I-......RAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Keoko blinked as she was suddenly staring into the eyes of Yoko Kurama. She raised an eyebrow and slapped him so hard that he changed back to normal, "Stop that. For that, I'll make this quick!"

She moved the scissors between his legs and....

Keiko smiled, "Just kidding!" She tossed the scissors away, "I couldn't do that to you, Kurama!"

Kurama sighed with relief, but it was cut short by the buzzing of her trusty chainsaw, "Hey, Kurama! You remember my good friend, Helga, don't you?!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Once again, blood splashed everywhere as Keiko danced about, this time doing her version of the Swan Lake ballet. Bloody swans, carrying chainsaws.

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Arriving at the Kuwabara house, Keiko smiled while in her Sunday dress, still carrying her purse. He knocked on the door and moments later, Kazuma Kuwabara came out, "Yeah? Hey, Keiko, what are you doing out so late anyway."

Keiko smiled, "I wanted to come and see my good friend, Kuwabara! How are you, buddy?!"

Kuwabara replied, "Uh...sleepy?"

Keiko asked, "Can I come in? I promise I'll be brief."

Kuwabar shrugged, "Okay, I guess." He let her in, then shut the door behind him.

Keiko asked, "Say, Kuwabara.....I wanted to show you something. It's a very private thing of mine that even Yusuke has rarely seen. I'll show it to you...."

Kuwabara's face turned red, "Uh, I don't think Urameshi'd like that! Maybe you should go home...."

Keiko frowned, "But I have to show it to you! SEE?!" SHe whipped the chainsaw out of her purse and shouted, "Meet Helga!"

Kuwabara's eyes went wide as Keiko charged at him, doing the Xena Warrior Princess scream. He tried to run, but he tripped over a chair and once again, blood splashed all over the place and Keiko danced circles around the corpse....

*later*

At Koenma's desk, Botan, Yukina, Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei stood before the Great Koenma, all dead. Koenam shook his head, "As powerful as you people are, you let a little girl with a chainsaw do away with you! That's pathetic! Ha! I'd NEVER fall victim to that!"

As he spoke, a chainsaw revved up from behind his chair....

THE END