Chapter 14: Stun Gun Story
"This movie always makes me tear up." Kagome grabbed for another tissue and sniffled into it. The three males in the room exchanged glances. No one said anything. "I hate this part!" Sango wrestled the Kleenex box away from her friend and swiped at the tears that were dripping down her cheeks. Miroku, sensing his chance, scooched up behind her. "Don't cry." he soothed. "It'll be all right in the end." Kagome glared at him. "You idiot! Didn't you ever watch Titanic before?"
"We're watching Titanic?" he asked, squinting at the screen. "Dude, I hate this movie."
"It's halfway through!" Kagome threw the cardboard box of tissue at him. "How can you not know what we were watching?"
"I was mesmerized by Sango's beauty." Miroku explained.
"I'm not beautiful." Sango sniffed. "The way I'm crying, my entire face is probably swollen."
"Not so." Miroku disagreed. "I think you're very beautiful."
She melted into his arms. "You're the sweetest boy in the whole wide world." she cooed.
"Thank you." Miroku replied, sending Inuyasha and Kouga a smug smile.
"Now, be a sweet boy over there. I want to watch Leonardo." She gave him an absent pat on the shoulder and turned her attention back to the screen. Sulking, Miroku retreated. Slightly.
Kagome cowered against Inuyasha. "I hate this part! Ever since I watched this movie I got scared of water."
"So you never take baths anymore?" Inuyasha asked skeptically, leaning against the bed. "Or wash your hands?"
"No, of course not. I just meant that.. well, I wouldn't want to go on a boat anymore."
"Did you have some sort of strange yearning to ride boats before you watched this movie?"
"Of course not!" Kagome scowled at Inuyasha. "Don't you have any romance in you?"
"Let me check." he replied dryly. "Internal scan complete. No romance detected."
"Oh, shut up." Kagome grumbled, hugging a pillow to her chest. Her eyes began to sting again. "Why did so many people have to die?" she mourned. Inuyasha sighed. Kouga slid to Kagome's other side. "You can always cry on my shoulder." he offered.
"Okay." Instead of leaning her head against him, however, Kagome banged his arm with alarming strength. "You stupid male!" she yelled at the screen. "Where is that money going to get you now? You coward, wanting to take the place of women and children on the lifeboats." Kouga winced and quietly withdrew, rubbing his sore shoulder. Kagome looked around to find Kouga a safe distance away, so she leaned against Inuyasha instead. "This part is sad." she whispered to him. "I hate this part. But I sort of love it too."
"Okay." he said, not even pretending to understand her. "I hate chick flicks."
A fire flickered in Kagome's eyes. "This is not a chick flick." she informed him frostily, her voice rising dangerously. "It's a beautiful tale of history and tragedy. And the love story just adds a more interesting angle to it."
"Will you two shut up over there?" Sango didn't take her eyes away from the screen as she called out. "I mean, some of us are trying to have a moment here."
"And some of us are trying to score." Miroku muttered under his breath. Kouga snickered.
"Stupid boys." Kagome sniffed. But when the movie ended, she was sobbing into Inuyasha's shoulder. He looked to find Kouga looking at the pair of them, amusement and jealously warring over his features.
"Hey, you take her." Inuyasha offered. "She's getting my most comfortable sweatshirt dripping wet."
"It's just tears." Sango said.
"Salty tears." Inuyasha countered. "I'll have to wash it again after this."
"Since when did you become such a clean freak?" Miroku wanted to know.
"Hey, dirt is one thing. Having another person's fluids on you is another."
"They're just tears!" Sango said, exasperatingly. "What's the next movie?"
Miroku sent a uncertain glance toward Kagome, who was yawning now. "Well, after that.. delightful ordeal, I'm thinking something less traumatic. And so, I present: Bad Boys." He whipped out the tape with a flourish.
An excited light began to shine in Kagome's eyes. "Isn't Will Smith in that?" she asked.
Kouga could just imagine her licking her lips.
"I thought it was an old movie." Sango said.
"Not really. A couple of years. But that's not the point, girls."
"What is the point?" Sango inquired.
Miroku and Inuyasha and Kouga exchanged glances. "Bombs." they replied in unison.
"Cute." Sango said, grimacing. "No blood?"
"Not enough for you to get squeamish." Miroku sensed his chance. "But if you need someone to protect you.."
"Right." Sango shoved him away. "I think I can handle it. Please."
Miroku growled at Inuyasha, who was grinning. "Hey," Inuyasha said. "It's your fault you had to pick up such an Amazon."
"I'm not from the Amazon." Sango complained at the same time Kagome commented, "I don't think Miroku is strong enough to pick Sango up."
"Can to!" Miroku protested, reaching toward his girlfriend. Sango danced away. "Nuh uh, you're not even going to get to try. Keep your hands to yourself, kiddo."
"They're so sweet together." Kagome smiled.
"So you've said." Inuyasha replied. "Movie, please?"
Miroku was trying to explain the idea of ballistics to Sango. "I'm not interested in how bombs work!" she insisted.
"No no no." Miroku soothed. "Ballistics is the study of projectiles, not bombs. See.."
"He's really smart." Kagome remarked.
Inuyasha didn't tear his eyes away from the screen. "Uh huh."
"Is that why you work with him?"
"Uh huh."
"I don't get it. You do the stealing, and Miroku sells it? Or vice versa?"
"Uh huh."
"Inuyasha!"
"What?"
"Are you listening to me?"
"Kagome, I'm watching the movie!"
"But this is the boring part!!"
"What are you talking about? This is the part where they blow things up!"
"Fine fine. I'm sorry."
Five minutes after the movie ended, Miroku's cell phone rang. "Hello" he said absently, rifling through the motel's lunch menu. Kagome and Sango exchanged worried glances when Miroku's face became more and more closed off, and he still didn't say anything. The call ended abruptly, and Miroku snapped his phone shut. He looked around the room for a second, then slid off the bed. "I'll be right back." he said, giving Sango a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't wait up."
He was out the door before Kagome had a chance to blink. "Something's weird." She remarked.
"I know," Kouga agreed. "Miroku's not a 'kiss-on-the-cheek' kinda guy."
"That's not it." Sango snapped. "Where's he off to? It's practically midnight!"
"Don't be so nagging." Kouga chided, lounging on a couch pillow and reaching for his soda. "Guys don't' like that."
Sango managed to, very gracefully, give him the middle finger. Kouga choked on his soda from laughing too hard, and it came out of his mouth onto Kagome. She shrieked. "Gross! I'm all stick now!"
"Blame Sango." Kouga said. His composure was regained, and he was grinning. "Gotta learn her manners, you know."
"But why'd I get punished?" Kagome grumbled. "It's not in my hair, is it?"
Kouga started laughing again. Inuyasha stood up. "As amusing as all this is." He said dryly, "I need a cigarette."
"You shouldn't smoke!" Kagome called after him.
"Wait." Sango snagged his sweatshirt sleeve. "You're not going to smoke."
"Lemme tell you something, Sango" Inuyasha said, his voice serious, "you're only allowed to nag male family members and your boyfriend. I'm kinda excluded from that circle. Thank God."
"That's not what I mean." Sango scowled. "I mean, you know where Miroku's going, don't you? And you're going to go after him."
"I guess being his girlfriend did teach you something, after all." Inuyasha said thoughtfully. "Well, either way, can't have you interfering. Kouga, keep an eye on the girls, okay?"
"Sure, boss." Kouga managed a halfway decent leer. "That's what I do best."
Inuyasha eyed him, then handed a small black electronic device to Sango. "If he tries anything," Inuyasha advised, "use this one him."
Kagome scooched up and examined the object. "What is it?"
"Stun gun," Inuyasha said, shooting a wicked grin at Kouga. "You press the metal prongs against his skin, press the button and sizzle him."
Kagome regarded the stun gun with an expression between fascination and horror. "Will it kill him?"
"Of course not." Inuyasha said, enjoying himself and Kouga's scowl. "Just scramble his brains a little. Okay, sweet dreams." The door closed behind him with a rowdy slam. Sango slid Kouga a sideways glance. "I'm having second thoughts about staying here with you." She announced. "Especially if Inuyasha is worried enough to give us a stun gun."
Kouga's scowl intensified. "It's just his way of making fun of me." Kouga growled. "And besides, I doubt it has batteries in it."
"Who wants to make sure?" Kagome held out the gun as offering. "I volunteer Kouga." Sango said immediately.
"Oh, shut up." Kouga said, slouching against the wall. "What time is it?"
"Time for you to tell us why Inuyasha wants to get back at you with a stun gun!" Kagome chirped.
Kouga grinned at the memory. "It's a long story," he warned them. "sure it isn't past bedtime for you ladies?"
Kagome glanced at her watch. "Actually, it is."
"But tell us anyway." Sango interrupted.
Kouga sipped his soda and thought. "Well, I guess you could say it started back during one of our first jobs.."
Flashback
"Are we there yet?"
"No! And if you don't stop asking me, I'm going to shoot you in the foot."
"Boss, you seem a little high strung today."
"Kouga, for the last time, would you just shut the fuck up?"
Kouga concentrated on the flying scenery outside the car window.
"Yasha?"
"What now?"
Kouga was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment before continuing. "Do you think anything will … happen to us?"
"Of course not, what the hell are you thinking?" Inuyasha glanced over with scorn, but his expression softened when he noticed how Kouga was staring out the window, pretending not to be scared.
"I forgot." Inuyasha said, a little gruffly. "This is your first on-site job, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's your own fault." Inuyasha pointed out with his usual bluntness. "You coulda stayed back at headquarters, working the phones and the comp. That's your job, anyway."
"That's not a real job, though." Kouga sulked. "What's the point of being in a gang and everything if you answer phones like a fucking receptionist?"
"Well, you do the computer hacking crap too." Inuyasha pointed out. He flicked some of the ash off his cigarette tip. "You know every gang has to have a decent computer hacker."
"And he's always some nerd." Kouga shot back. "And gets killed off first."
"Okay, first off all, no one is going to get killed off. Sorry to burst your bubble, grasshopper, but we're not even really a gang. We steal stuff, we sell it, we scare off the opposing forces. That's it. No tear tattoos, no initiation, no blood in blood out crap, okay? Think of it as a business."
"An illegal business." Kouga pointed out.
Inuyasha smirked. "Right, you can find some comfort in that."
Kouga sighed. "So, can you rebrief me on the job? I don't wanna mess up."
"You better not. There's a lot of money riding on this."
"Which reminds me, how much is my cut?"
"Kid, if it works out, your cut is around 15%. Give or take a couple bucks."
"And yours?"
"30."
"That's not fair!"
"Kouga, that gives me an incentive to find a better buyer."
"Where does the other 55 % go to?"
"Well, 40 to Miroku, since he's the one who's in the most danger and crap. Other 15 is the expenses. You know, buying cars, bribes, phones, other stuff like that."
Kouga whistled. "So we use all the money?"
"Not a cent of it left. But don't worry." Inuyasha grinned. "It's put to good use."
Miroku was waiting for the two of them in front of the darkened building. "About time." He complained. Inuyasha slammed the car door closed and beeped on the alarm. "So we're two minutes late." He said, obviously used to Miroku's manner. "Stuff it."
"Or he'll shoot you in the leg." Kouga supplied helpfully.
Miroku sent Kouga an amused look. "Who's Robin, Batman?"
"You said we needed an extra guy. I brought him."
"Well I was thinking more on the lines of Naraku. Or Kagura. Or your brother, for Chrissakes."
"Well okay, Naraku's anal, Kagura has a date, and my brother is probably getting his nails done or something. Besides, Kagura doesn't want to work with you after you touched her ass that one time."
"It was an accident!" Miroku insisted. "It was dark. I couldn't see. Besides, she looked pretty."
Inuyasha passed a hand over his eyes. "I don't wanna hear it. You got the layout?"
"'course I got the layout. Does a cow have milk?"
"Male ones don't."
Inuyasha and Miroku both turned to face Kouga. "Those are called bulls." Miroku informed him kindly. "Look, why don't you go stand as lookout? Inuyasha and I should be out in a couple of minutes."
"What do I do if someone passes by?" Kouga asked, suppressing his anxiety with partial success.
Miroku looked thoughtful. "Got a weapon on you?"
Kouga shook his head. "Inuyasha didn't give me one." He replied, his tone semi-accusing.
"I was afraid you'd kill yourself." Inuyasha shot back.
"Okay, children, stop bickering. I have a solution." Miroku dug into his jacket pocket and tossed a stun gun to Kouga. "This won't kill you if you have an accident, but it should be sufficient if you notice anyone coming too close to the building. Just give them a quick zap and make sure they're down. Push the body into the bushes or something, they can figure out where they are when they wake up. You got that?"
Kouga looked nervous. "What if someone comes by and I don't see them?"
Inuyasha looked up from where he was checking his weapons and scowled. "You damn well better see them!" he barked. Kouga backed up a step. "Good luck to you too."
Kouga skulked in the shadows, contemplating another round pass the building. He'd gone around it four times already, and while it wasn't a big building, Kouga still thought it was high time for Inuyasha and Miroku to reappear so they could leave and escape the possibility of arrest and incarceration. Not that he was nervous. "I just won't do well in prison." He said out loud. "I don't think I'd ever .. want a guy. Sexually. I mean, that's what they do in prisons, right? Unless you're granted conjugal visits.. but I'm not married. What the hell.. I'm fucking talking to myself. Good thing Inuyasha isn't here."
There was a rustling in the bushes. Kouga narrowed his eyes and put a hand on the stun gun. "Someone there?" he asked cautiously. There was no answer, but the bushes shook some more. Kouga took a deep breathe, moved forward, stuck out his stun gun – and the world went black.
When Kouga woke, the first words out of his mouth were, "Is this hell?"
"No," an amused voice came. "but it'll come close when everyone else hears about this."
Kouga struggled groggily into a sitting position, and saw Inuyasha and Miroku crouching in front of him, their faces amused. "Where are we?" Kouga asked, alarmed, as the memories came flooding back. "What if we get caught?"
Miroku and Inuyasha looked at each other, then burst into snickers at the ridiculous idea. "He has so much to learn." Miroku commented, shaking his head. "Like how not to land on his own stun gun, for one."
"I did what?!" Kouga felt a blush creep up at the humiliating thought.
"Well, it wasn't entirely your fault." Miroku assured. "I mean, Inuyasha did trip you."
"You what?!" Kouga spun around to face Inuyasha- too fast, for the night sky started dipping again.
"Hey," Inuyasha replied defensively. "when a dark shadow comes rushing at you with a weapon, wouldn't you trip them too?"
"Well, what were you two doing in the bushes?!"
"Laughing at you." Inuyasha replied bluntly.
"At least now we know you like women." Miroku added with a grin.
"Even if you can't get any." Inuyasha quipped. Kouga growled and his "partners" burst out laughing again.
End Flashback
"And that," Kouga concluding, in a bad mood now that the story was out. "is the whole sorry ordeal."
-end-
Ending Notes: Ehehe.. three months. J Thanks to the emailers. Apologies and excuses are a given.. so shall I skip them? Thank you J And in the reviews J Let's also assume everyone will say they hope the next chapter won't take as long as this one, so I can save you the trouble of typing it out ;) haha sorry if this wasn't as funny as you'd have wanted :/… I'm not a funny person lately. -_- I will work on a cure for that :D The Borders near my house is having a Tokyopop manga sale!!! 3 for the price of 2.. that's three books for $20. Hahah.. yeah :D ^-^ muah thanks for reviewing!! :D
"This movie always makes me tear up." Kagome grabbed for another tissue and sniffled into it. The three males in the room exchanged glances. No one said anything. "I hate this part!" Sango wrestled the Kleenex box away from her friend and swiped at the tears that were dripping down her cheeks. Miroku, sensing his chance, scooched up behind her. "Don't cry." he soothed. "It'll be all right in the end." Kagome glared at him. "You idiot! Didn't you ever watch Titanic before?"
"We're watching Titanic?" he asked, squinting at the screen. "Dude, I hate this movie."
"It's halfway through!" Kagome threw the cardboard box of tissue at him. "How can you not know what we were watching?"
"I was mesmerized by Sango's beauty." Miroku explained.
"I'm not beautiful." Sango sniffed. "The way I'm crying, my entire face is probably swollen."
"Not so." Miroku disagreed. "I think you're very beautiful."
She melted into his arms. "You're the sweetest boy in the whole wide world." she cooed.
"Thank you." Miroku replied, sending Inuyasha and Kouga a smug smile.
"Now, be a sweet boy over there. I want to watch Leonardo." She gave him an absent pat on the shoulder and turned her attention back to the screen. Sulking, Miroku retreated. Slightly.
Kagome cowered against Inuyasha. "I hate this part! Ever since I watched this movie I got scared of water."
"So you never take baths anymore?" Inuyasha asked skeptically, leaning against the bed. "Or wash your hands?"
"No, of course not. I just meant that.. well, I wouldn't want to go on a boat anymore."
"Did you have some sort of strange yearning to ride boats before you watched this movie?"
"Of course not!" Kagome scowled at Inuyasha. "Don't you have any romance in you?"
"Let me check." he replied dryly. "Internal scan complete. No romance detected."
"Oh, shut up." Kagome grumbled, hugging a pillow to her chest. Her eyes began to sting again. "Why did so many people have to die?" she mourned. Inuyasha sighed. Kouga slid to Kagome's other side. "You can always cry on my shoulder." he offered.
"Okay." Instead of leaning her head against him, however, Kagome banged his arm with alarming strength. "You stupid male!" she yelled at the screen. "Where is that money going to get you now? You coward, wanting to take the place of women and children on the lifeboats." Kouga winced and quietly withdrew, rubbing his sore shoulder. Kagome looked around to find Kouga a safe distance away, so she leaned against Inuyasha instead. "This part is sad." she whispered to him. "I hate this part. But I sort of love it too."
"Okay." he said, not even pretending to understand her. "I hate chick flicks."
A fire flickered in Kagome's eyes. "This is not a chick flick." she informed him frostily, her voice rising dangerously. "It's a beautiful tale of history and tragedy. And the love story just adds a more interesting angle to it."
"Will you two shut up over there?" Sango didn't take her eyes away from the screen as she called out. "I mean, some of us are trying to have a moment here."
"And some of us are trying to score." Miroku muttered under his breath. Kouga snickered.
"Stupid boys." Kagome sniffed. But when the movie ended, she was sobbing into Inuyasha's shoulder. He looked to find Kouga looking at the pair of them, amusement and jealously warring over his features.
"Hey, you take her." Inuyasha offered. "She's getting my most comfortable sweatshirt dripping wet."
"It's just tears." Sango said.
"Salty tears." Inuyasha countered. "I'll have to wash it again after this."
"Since when did you become such a clean freak?" Miroku wanted to know.
"Hey, dirt is one thing. Having another person's fluids on you is another."
"They're just tears!" Sango said, exasperatingly. "What's the next movie?"
Miroku sent a uncertain glance toward Kagome, who was yawning now. "Well, after that.. delightful ordeal, I'm thinking something less traumatic. And so, I present: Bad Boys." He whipped out the tape with a flourish.
An excited light began to shine in Kagome's eyes. "Isn't Will Smith in that?" she asked.
Kouga could just imagine her licking her lips.
"I thought it was an old movie." Sango said.
"Not really. A couple of years. But that's not the point, girls."
"What is the point?" Sango inquired.
Miroku and Inuyasha and Kouga exchanged glances. "Bombs." they replied in unison.
"Cute." Sango said, grimacing. "No blood?"
"Not enough for you to get squeamish." Miroku sensed his chance. "But if you need someone to protect you.."
"Right." Sango shoved him away. "I think I can handle it. Please."
Miroku growled at Inuyasha, who was grinning. "Hey," Inuyasha said. "It's your fault you had to pick up such an Amazon."
"I'm not from the Amazon." Sango complained at the same time Kagome commented, "I don't think Miroku is strong enough to pick Sango up."
"Can to!" Miroku protested, reaching toward his girlfriend. Sango danced away. "Nuh uh, you're not even going to get to try. Keep your hands to yourself, kiddo."
"They're so sweet together." Kagome smiled.
"So you've said." Inuyasha replied. "Movie, please?"
Miroku was trying to explain the idea of ballistics to Sango. "I'm not interested in how bombs work!" she insisted.
"No no no." Miroku soothed. "Ballistics is the study of projectiles, not bombs. See.."
"He's really smart." Kagome remarked.
Inuyasha didn't tear his eyes away from the screen. "Uh huh."
"Is that why you work with him?"
"Uh huh."
"I don't get it. You do the stealing, and Miroku sells it? Or vice versa?"
"Uh huh."
"Inuyasha!"
"What?"
"Are you listening to me?"
"Kagome, I'm watching the movie!"
"But this is the boring part!!"
"What are you talking about? This is the part where they blow things up!"
"Fine fine. I'm sorry."
Five minutes after the movie ended, Miroku's cell phone rang. "Hello" he said absently, rifling through the motel's lunch menu. Kagome and Sango exchanged worried glances when Miroku's face became more and more closed off, and he still didn't say anything. The call ended abruptly, and Miroku snapped his phone shut. He looked around the room for a second, then slid off the bed. "I'll be right back." he said, giving Sango a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't wait up."
He was out the door before Kagome had a chance to blink. "Something's weird." She remarked.
"I know," Kouga agreed. "Miroku's not a 'kiss-on-the-cheek' kinda guy."
"That's not it." Sango snapped. "Where's he off to? It's practically midnight!"
"Don't be so nagging." Kouga chided, lounging on a couch pillow and reaching for his soda. "Guys don't' like that."
Sango managed to, very gracefully, give him the middle finger. Kouga choked on his soda from laughing too hard, and it came out of his mouth onto Kagome. She shrieked. "Gross! I'm all stick now!"
"Blame Sango." Kouga said. His composure was regained, and he was grinning. "Gotta learn her manners, you know."
"But why'd I get punished?" Kagome grumbled. "It's not in my hair, is it?"
Kouga started laughing again. Inuyasha stood up. "As amusing as all this is." He said dryly, "I need a cigarette."
"You shouldn't smoke!" Kagome called after him.
"Wait." Sango snagged his sweatshirt sleeve. "You're not going to smoke."
"Lemme tell you something, Sango" Inuyasha said, his voice serious, "you're only allowed to nag male family members and your boyfriend. I'm kinda excluded from that circle. Thank God."
"That's not what I mean." Sango scowled. "I mean, you know where Miroku's going, don't you? And you're going to go after him."
"I guess being his girlfriend did teach you something, after all." Inuyasha said thoughtfully. "Well, either way, can't have you interfering. Kouga, keep an eye on the girls, okay?"
"Sure, boss." Kouga managed a halfway decent leer. "That's what I do best."
Inuyasha eyed him, then handed a small black electronic device to Sango. "If he tries anything," Inuyasha advised, "use this one him."
Kagome scooched up and examined the object. "What is it?"
"Stun gun," Inuyasha said, shooting a wicked grin at Kouga. "You press the metal prongs against his skin, press the button and sizzle him."
Kagome regarded the stun gun with an expression between fascination and horror. "Will it kill him?"
"Of course not." Inuyasha said, enjoying himself and Kouga's scowl. "Just scramble his brains a little. Okay, sweet dreams." The door closed behind him with a rowdy slam. Sango slid Kouga a sideways glance. "I'm having second thoughts about staying here with you." She announced. "Especially if Inuyasha is worried enough to give us a stun gun."
Kouga's scowl intensified. "It's just his way of making fun of me." Kouga growled. "And besides, I doubt it has batteries in it."
"Who wants to make sure?" Kagome held out the gun as offering. "I volunteer Kouga." Sango said immediately.
"Oh, shut up." Kouga said, slouching against the wall. "What time is it?"
"Time for you to tell us why Inuyasha wants to get back at you with a stun gun!" Kagome chirped.
Kouga grinned at the memory. "It's a long story," he warned them. "sure it isn't past bedtime for you ladies?"
Kagome glanced at her watch. "Actually, it is."
"But tell us anyway." Sango interrupted.
Kouga sipped his soda and thought. "Well, I guess you could say it started back during one of our first jobs.."
Flashback
"Are we there yet?"
"No! And if you don't stop asking me, I'm going to shoot you in the foot."
"Boss, you seem a little high strung today."
"Kouga, for the last time, would you just shut the fuck up?"
Kouga concentrated on the flying scenery outside the car window.
"Yasha?"
"What now?"
Kouga was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment before continuing. "Do you think anything will … happen to us?"
"Of course not, what the hell are you thinking?" Inuyasha glanced over with scorn, but his expression softened when he noticed how Kouga was staring out the window, pretending not to be scared.
"I forgot." Inuyasha said, a little gruffly. "This is your first on-site job, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's your own fault." Inuyasha pointed out with his usual bluntness. "You coulda stayed back at headquarters, working the phones and the comp. That's your job, anyway."
"That's not a real job, though." Kouga sulked. "What's the point of being in a gang and everything if you answer phones like a fucking receptionist?"
"Well, you do the computer hacking crap too." Inuyasha pointed out. He flicked some of the ash off his cigarette tip. "You know every gang has to have a decent computer hacker."
"And he's always some nerd." Kouga shot back. "And gets killed off first."
"Okay, first off all, no one is going to get killed off. Sorry to burst your bubble, grasshopper, but we're not even really a gang. We steal stuff, we sell it, we scare off the opposing forces. That's it. No tear tattoos, no initiation, no blood in blood out crap, okay? Think of it as a business."
"An illegal business." Kouga pointed out.
Inuyasha smirked. "Right, you can find some comfort in that."
Kouga sighed. "So, can you rebrief me on the job? I don't wanna mess up."
"You better not. There's a lot of money riding on this."
"Which reminds me, how much is my cut?"
"Kid, if it works out, your cut is around 15%. Give or take a couple bucks."
"And yours?"
"30."
"That's not fair!"
"Kouga, that gives me an incentive to find a better buyer."
"Where does the other 55 % go to?"
"Well, 40 to Miroku, since he's the one who's in the most danger and crap. Other 15 is the expenses. You know, buying cars, bribes, phones, other stuff like that."
Kouga whistled. "So we use all the money?"
"Not a cent of it left. But don't worry." Inuyasha grinned. "It's put to good use."
Miroku was waiting for the two of them in front of the darkened building. "About time." He complained. Inuyasha slammed the car door closed and beeped on the alarm. "So we're two minutes late." He said, obviously used to Miroku's manner. "Stuff it."
"Or he'll shoot you in the leg." Kouga supplied helpfully.
Miroku sent Kouga an amused look. "Who's Robin, Batman?"
"You said we needed an extra guy. I brought him."
"Well I was thinking more on the lines of Naraku. Or Kagura. Or your brother, for Chrissakes."
"Well okay, Naraku's anal, Kagura has a date, and my brother is probably getting his nails done or something. Besides, Kagura doesn't want to work with you after you touched her ass that one time."
"It was an accident!" Miroku insisted. "It was dark. I couldn't see. Besides, she looked pretty."
Inuyasha passed a hand over his eyes. "I don't wanna hear it. You got the layout?"
"'course I got the layout. Does a cow have milk?"
"Male ones don't."
Inuyasha and Miroku both turned to face Kouga. "Those are called bulls." Miroku informed him kindly. "Look, why don't you go stand as lookout? Inuyasha and I should be out in a couple of minutes."
"What do I do if someone passes by?" Kouga asked, suppressing his anxiety with partial success.
Miroku looked thoughtful. "Got a weapon on you?"
Kouga shook his head. "Inuyasha didn't give me one." He replied, his tone semi-accusing.
"I was afraid you'd kill yourself." Inuyasha shot back.
"Okay, children, stop bickering. I have a solution." Miroku dug into his jacket pocket and tossed a stun gun to Kouga. "This won't kill you if you have an accident, but it should be sufficient if you notice anyone coming too close to the building. Just give them a quick zap and make sure they're down. Push the body into the bushes or something, they can figure out where they are when they wake up. You got that?"
Kouga looked nervous. "What if someone comes by and I don't see them?"
Inuyasha looked up from where he was checking his weapons and scowled. "You damn well better see them!" he barked. Kouga backed up a step. "Good luck to you too."
Kouga skulked in the shadows, contemplating another round pass the building. He'd gone around it four times already, and while it wasn't a big building, Kouga still thought it was high time for Inuyasha and Miroku to reappear so they could leave and escape the possibility of arrest and incarceration. Not that he was nervous. "I just won't do well in prison." He said out loud. "I don't think I'd ever .. want a guy. Sexually. I mean, that's what they do in prisons, right? Unless you're granted conjugal visits.. but I'm not married. What the hell.. I'm fucking talking to myself. Good thing Inuyasha isn't here."
There was a rustling in the bushes. Kouga narrowed his eyes and put a hand on the stun gun. "Someone there?" he asked cautiously. There was no answer, but the bushes shook some more. Kouga took a deep breathe, moved forward, stuck out his stun gun – and the world went black.
When Kouga woke, the first words out of his mouth were, "Is this hell?"
"No," an amused voice came. "but it'll come close when everyone else hears about this."
Kouga struggled groggily into a sitting position, and saw Inuyasha and Miroku crouching in front of him, their faces amused. "Where are we?" Kouga asked, alarmed, as the memories came flooding back. "What if we get caught?"
Miroku and Inuyasha looked at each other, then burst into snickers at the ridiculous idea. "He has so much to learn." Miroku commented, shaking his head. "Like how not to land on his own stun gun, for one."
"I did what?!" Kouga felt a blush creep up at the humiliating thought.
"Well, it wasn't entirely your fault." Miroku assured. "I mean, Inuyasha did trip you."
"You what?!" Kouga spun around to face Inuyasha- too fast, for the night sky started dipping again.
"Hey," Inuyasha replied defensively. "when a dark shadow comes rushing at you with a weapon, wouldn't you trip them too?"
"Well, what were you two doing in the bushes?!"
"Laughing at you." Inuyasha replied bluntly.
"At least now we know you like women." Miroku added with a grin.
"Even if you can't get any." Inuyasha quipped. Kouga growled and his "partners" burst out laughing again.
End Flashback
"And that," Kouga concluding, in a bad mood now that the story was out. "is the whole sorry ordeal."
-end-
Ending Notes: Ehehe.. three months. J Thanks to the emailers. Apologies and excuses are a given.. so shall I skip them? Thank you J And in the reviews J Let's also assume everyone will say they hope the next chapter won't take as long as this one, so I can save you the trouble of typing it out ;) haha sorry if this wasn't as funny as you'd have wanted :/… I'm not a funny person lately. -_- I will work on a cure for that :D The Borders near my house is having a Tokyopop manga sale!!! 3 for the price of 2.. that's three books for $20. Hahah.. yeah :D ^-^ muah thanks for reviewing!! :D