THE SEVENTH DRAGONBALL
II. I'm a handsome devil, baby!
The world is under attack.
I never thought I would see this day... I wonder if those kids ever did really save the world. I wish they were around now, coming to my door, asking me for the Seven Starred Ball. I've spent my life looking for it, and now it's back. But no longer does it still hold its meaning. Papa is gone too, now. Some big pink creature destroyed the building he was working in. He's probably coming here right now. Those three convicts, the ones that little green guy wants.... One of them is familiar. The little black haired boy. The other two are a complete mystery.
It's been such a long time. Fifteen years? More? Less? Maybe it was just the dream of a little seven year old looking for adventure. I wish I could have gone with them.. They probably battled evil monsters and did heroic things, all without me.
That pink thing.. Majin Buu is his name? He's coming here. Right now. I wonder if this is my chance for adventure. My chance to be the bystander who becomes part of the crowd, destroyed by the villain as he goes on some kind of destructive rampage.
Just an extra in the film of terror.
No point sitting around the apartment. The Seven Star Ball was gone, disappeared while I slept. I didn't ask questions, just moved on... The two shrines are empty. All the photos tacked onto them are in a box somewhere in storage.
I trotted quickly down the two flights of stairs in my apartment complex, getting onto the crowded street. Every communication around me carried the name "Majin Buu." Majin Buu this, Majin Buu that... What a celebrity. I want to be a villain... Get some recognition.
And this is when the screaming started.
An immense gust of wind blew past, knocking people into buildings, hurling rocks in every direction. I jammed one foot into the sewer drain, the blast taking me down to the cement. The sky was bland as I stared up, back uncomfortably flat against the pebbly cement sidewalk I lay upon.
Landing not too far away, just outside a ring of debris and awed bystanders, landed Majin Buu. I had seen him on television, I had seen him in my mind. Now he was here.
He looks like an overgrown child. Why is everyone so afraid? He obviously likes candy. Maybe we should just forfeit a chocolate factory to him or something.
A small can clinked across the ground, signaling the start to who knows what. Majin Buu began to hop, doing a funky looking skip-jog that evolved eventually into a full blown run. He zoomed away, leaving a huge cloud of dust behind him.
Buildings began to explode in his wake, becoming engulfed in smoky flames and sending debris in every direction. He turned around, charging back towards the group of fleeing people.
I slowly pried myself from the sewer drain, propping myself against a broken brick wall. Majin Buu stopped not too far away from me, blasting randomly escaping citizens.
He turned, staring at me. Directly at me. His eyes were evil-looking slits, his mouth was wide in a toothless grin. A banana-like appendage hung from his head, and he looked like an obscenely bizarre boy scout.
I probably should have been scared. Maybe this big, Pepto-Bismol colored creature was supposed to intimidate me.
But he didn't. He was just a big blob dressed like a boy scout. He grinned, half assuming I was scared to death.
"Do you think Buu's sexy?" he asked suddenly. I furrowed my brow.
I have two hypotheses for my reaction: I was either in a state of shock by my current position, or I was just plain insane.
"Not really. You need an exercise plan," I replied. Majin Buu's eyes widened, becoming real eyes for once.
"What? Exercise? You say Buu not sexy?!" the creature demanded. I nodded.
"Yup. You can lose weight when you exercise, then you might be sexy. You have a cute face," I assured him.
Haha. I'm plain out of my mind.
Majin Buu watched me for a moment as if dumbfounded. I guess he was. "...How do I get this, exercise?"
"Get a personal trainer or something. They help you lose weight and eat healthier. I don't think eating all that candy is helping your level of sexiness," I replied, my calm rapidly abandoning me. Majin Buu merely stared at me.
"Oh."
At least he didn't turn me into a piece of candy.
A small magazine lying next to me began to flip rapidly, landing on a picture of Berd McGiantabs. Majin Buu looked at it for a second.
"What? How am I supposed to live up to image in magazines?" he asked in irritation. I winced. He suddenly began playing with his face, turning into a mirror image of the man in the magazine, beside the fact his skin was bunny pink.
"Kiss me!" Majin Buu demanded, stretching his lips toward me.
"No." The Berd-gone-wrong watched me in disbelief. "Lose weight. Your face is fine the way it is," I told him, crossing my arms.
"You no lie to Buu?" he asked, apparently looking for some kind of assurance. Who would have guessed, the insanely strong terrorist of the Earth being self-conscious about his looks.
"Nope." Majin Buu stared at me again, then jumped into the air and flew away.
Now, how often does THAT happen in your life?