V. Earthquake

We bumped and hummed along the road, Ol' Betty and I. I cranked the windows down, playing with the radio dial. What might have once been green fields flew past, now just vast expanses of charred land and deadly black corn stalks could be seen for miles. A few lone trees had escaped, but the landscape seemed to be dominated by desert-like open spaces and upturned rocks.

I turned the radio dial, encountering nothing but static. I finally switched to AM, where I skimmed the channels with one arm on the wheel and the other pounding on the inefficient radio angrily. As I was nearing AM 1500, I heard a sudden flicker of sound.

It was country. Worse than burning in the fires of HFIL, the only station in operation was playing horrific, mindless country music.

A guitar strummed continually to one chord, accompanied some fake-accented cowboy singing lovesick lyrics.

And I cursed the inventor of country.

I drove for what must have been hours, a continual stream of country music filling my ears as Old Betty and I ambled down the little off-road. The landscape began to change, what might have once been beautiful, green pastures transforming into a land of upturned rocks and jagged cliffs. The road wound around bends and over hills, becoming broken and bumpy.

Suddenly, another immense blast of blue filled my vision. Swerving, Betty and I skidded off the road and lodged a tire into a rock.

But my attention was drawn by the immense explosion in the sky. A small, black dot hovered, the huge ball of blue light somehow harbored high in the sky.

"Come on, Betty!" I cried, putting my foot to the metal to get the old truck going again. It shuddered, trying to force its way out from the rock it was caught on, but to no avail. I sighed, leaning against the wheel and pressing the gas with one foot at random intervals.

Slowly, and of course, without my knowledge, good Old Betty began to crawl up the small embankment and back onto the road. Before I knew what was happening, we were cruising at full speed down the other side of the hill. A drum-accompanied song came onto the radio, and I stuck my arm out into the air as we soared down the road towards the large explosion that now racked the earth.

It's amazing how people - when confronted with that they cannot comprehend - forget all about it and go on living. It's almost like subconsciously we know we're doomed, and make the most of what we have left. And so, comforted by this hypothesis, I jammed on my invisible guitar as Betty and I headed towards what was most likely some kind of impending death.

This creature, Majin Buu... A large, pink blob had decimated most of the Earth, when he seemed like nothing compared to every other threat to our planet. Like that time when I was, oh, just turned 20. Two creatures had landed on Earth, completely eradicated our army, then disappeared the next day. Or that Cell guy. He just played with us, allowed us to think our special forces could defeat him. If Mr. Satan hadn't been there...

Haha, Mr. Satan. What a joke. He may have been the strongest man on Earth, but any victory he achieved was quickly surpassed by his ego. I hope he suffers some huge, really terrible defeat. Maybe dying will do the trick.

And I said.. Oh well.

We continued on for some time, the ground being rocked by huge explosions on irregular intervals and huge blasts of light searing the sky. We got closer and closer, my now beloved, cherished music beginning to fade from accessibility. Damnit.

I rounded over the top of a hill, when suddenly, the road ended. Barring my way was an enormous, black, charred hole in the rock. From there on, the road didn't even exist.

Sighing, I turned off the engine, got out of the truck, and began to walk.

It wasn't long before I began hearing voices. They hollered and cried, a huge blast suddenly shaking the earth and knocking me off my feet. A huge beam of yellow light zoomed right over my head, blowing up a mountain of crumbled rocks. I just hoped Betty was okay.

I continued on my trek, my way blocked numerous times by enormous ravines violently torn in the rock. Whatever was happening was now blood-chillingly close, a shiver running up my side whenever a blast shot clouds of debris into the air above me.

I dashed, hiding swiftly behind an outcropping of rock hanging off a large hill. I peeked around, slowly tip-toeing towards a good viewpoint.

Flying in the sky and fighting like little blurs were two figures. One, I didn't recognize, but wore a dorky orange outfit. The other was tall, pink, muscular, and wore a familiar pair of baggy white pants.

Oh. My. Kami.

Majin Buu.