Just a Silly Saunter
Rated: R for general naughtiness.
Disclaimer: None of it is mine I tell you, except for this deranged lack of storyline
Chapter two
'Do? What do you mean what shall you do? You shall piss me off by calling me Tom Riddle and then we will fight. I will lose again and then disappear for another twelve months until I can devise another plan to take over the world!'
'Excuse me, but did you do the voiceover for Pinky and the Brain?' a student squeaked.
Voldemort's eyes grew wide and a smile developed. 'However did you know?'
Harry looked contemplative. Well as contemplative as a sixteen year old boy with sex on the brain could look. 'Ok, but only on the condition that you admit your undying obsession with me needs a little help, Tom.'
Voldemort's eyes turned back into tiny slits. 'But I can't get you out of me head.'
All the girls in the room jumped up on their stools and then in perfect unison started dancing and singing. 'Boy your love is all that I'm thinking of.'
Draco jumped up on the Slytherin table, a different tune needing to be freed from his supple, pale lips. Shiny leather glistened from the starlight above as a very nice arse got itself among the food. Hair flowing behind him like a Pantene model, Draco changed a goblet into a microphone and stared longingly at Harry. 'Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care, when you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bare…'
Harry stared at the mayhem around him and wondered what made things so different this time, and why did Draco look like he wanted to eat him piece by delectable piece? He looked to Dumbeldore for guidance but instead found the principal trying to chew on McGonagall's tonsils.
"Jeez, I wish my friends were around.' Harry sighed.
Right on cue Ron rushed back into the Great hall and stood at Harry's side. He held his wand out at Voldemort, who at that moment was a little preoccupied watching Draco acting very strangely with a zucchini. Slightly off cue due to being otherwise occupied Hermione jogged in, her robes ripped and bruises decorating her neck like ill placed Pokka-dots. She was completely neutral towards the chaos surrounding them. She then turned and glared at Voldemort, who instantly stopped watching Draco and glared at her, his eyes turning an even deeper shade of red.
'How dare that mudblood be impertinent enough to look me in the eyes!' Shrieked Voldemort.
'Where is my yummy hunk of student flesh?' growled Severus as he re-entered the Great Hall.
"Your blood isn't exactly pure yourself Voldy.' Growled Hermione licking her lips at Severus, who pounded across the floor faster than humanly possible and grabbed Hermione around the waist. Just as he picked her up and carried her back out of the Great Hall she called to Harry. 'You'll be right, you always are. I'll be in the prefects bathroom infusing myself with the smells of Vanilla and Severus if you really need me.'
Harry and Ron grimaced.
'Well enough chit chat.' Voldemort said to the room. 'Or do we intend to chat all day?'
'Actually I have a few questions.' Piped up a Ravenclaw, whose name wasn't memorable enough to be typed.
'Me too' a Hufflepuff squeaked.
Suddenly barrages of questions were thrown at Voldemort, each murky and undefined. Voldemort placed his head in his hands.
"Sometimes I don't know why I bother…'
AN: Short I know, but it isn't really a muse that hangs around long unfortunately. If you want me to write more of this, you know what button to push (Sexual innuendo unintentional I promise;)