IMPORTANT NOTE: My computer has been attacked by viruses, so now I have lost everything I had one there, including the Slayers Anime, the Inuyasha pictures, and all the music files! (T_T) I have cried over my computer so much I even skipped the first block of school, which is very extreme for me, who is the perfect straight A student. (Y_Y) So, I cannot send any of you anything right now. I can barely even get a computer at school to write this. Please forgive me if you really wanted the files. I promised I would send you all the things I bribed you with as soon as I fixed my computer and recovered all of my files. But for now, I deeply apologize with every single particle of my being. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!
I'm so depressed I can't even write, but this chapter is on Miroku, our favorite lech! An so many of you sent me questions, it almost cheered me up. So, I'll try my best with the chapter. If you think it sucks, just send me death threats, and I'll rewrite it.
--------------------
I'm sorry if this will bore you, but I loved one of my reviews sooooo much, I have to write some kind of side-track fanfic on the review Talon sent in. If you don't want to read this, just skip onto the main story, but I can't resist the temptation to write this, so here goes.
(I have copied&pasted the original review and edited it a bit. I hope you don't mind, Talon ^_^;.)
(rubs face) Ow. All I wanted to do was take you out to a movie, or dinner, or something. The weapons were to be taken like a bouquet of flowers.
Miroku: (grumble) Some bouquet...
Talon: (holds up a small beam rifle) Ahem?
Miroku: ... What's that thing? It reminds me of the male-
Talon: (quickly blows up a stage camera, to cut off Miroku's foul mouth)
Amy: Hey, that was expensive.
Talon: *ignores a very disgruntled Amy* This, is a beam rifle. It fires a burst of energy at near-light speed, and is exceptionally powerful. It also possesses an advanced targeting scope. (smiles at Sango) I was simply wondering if you wanted a... well... pretty sure fire way of killing Naraku. And it wouldn't be dishonorable: This rifle is no different from a bow, only much more powerful. Technology changes: honor is honor.
Amy: You have to pay for that.
Miroku: *also ignored Amy* (sarcastically) Well, thank you for that enlightening demonstration. Do you have any questions for moi?
Amy: You can't just destroy anything you like.
Talon: *Ignores Amy again* Yes. One: Don't you think you should focus more on finding and killing Naraku, than fathering an heir to continue the hunt? Yes, your life is shortened by the hellhole, but the sooner you catch and kill the bad guy, the sooner you have a normal life. Well, for YOU, at any rate...
Amy: I'll accept both cash and check, but no credit cards.
Miroku: (rolls his eyes) Any others?
Amy: No matter what, you'll pay for that.
Talon: Two: Would it dissuade you from harrassing women if I threatened to blow you to smithereens? Three: Just how DID you meet Mr. Raccoon? And Four: If you wanted to save yourself the trouble, a good last resort to save your life could be to simply chop off your hand. What do you think?
Amy: IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME?
Sango: Apparently not.
Amy: Why are you still here? I thought you left?
Sango: I have to lead houshi-sama back to Kagome's shrine before he decides to make some other unfortunate women his groping victim.
Miroku: Hey, I would never do that. Not when I have someone as beautiful as you for me to enjoy.
Sango: *SLAP*
Talon: Go away, Lech. *Pushes Miroku out of the way* Have you seen what my weapon can do? *gesturing to beam rifle*
Sango: Yes, that's very impressive.
Talon: Then will you go out with me if I give you one of these to kill Naraku with?
Sango: ...
Miroku: Isn't it time for my interview?
Amy: *checks time* Yeah, it is. I can't believe we've been here for two days already.
Talon: Didn't I tell you to stay out of this, Monk? *aims rifle at Miroku's head*
Miroku: *began taking beads away from wrist* Your bean ri-fold is nothing compared to my Kazaana.
Talon: Want to bet?
Amy: Um...help?
Inuyasha: *pops up shirtless* (ha, I'm evil) What the hell am I doing here?
Amy: Apparently, Miroku and Talon are trying to battle over Sango.
Inuyasha: That should be interesting...
Amy: *Extremely mad* YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP THEM! Attack them now before they destroy anything else in the studio.
Inuyasha: What if I don't want to.
Amy: *grinning evilly* Then I'll send all of your fan girls after you. I bet they'll be excited to see you shirtless.
Inuyasha: *turns to Miroku and Talon at once* Stop fighting each other! *Getting out Tetsusaiga.*
Miroku: *looks at Tetsusaiga in fear* I think I'll have my interview now.
Talon: *also looks at Tetsusaiga in fear* Yeah, I think I'll go into the audience now.
Both runs off
Inuyasha: cowards. *pops out of studio*
Sango: I think I'll go too.
Amy: I think you should stick around, since I believe you will be popping in to hit Miroku plenty of times in this episode.
Sango: *shrug* *went to stand beside Talon and inquiring about the weapon*
--------------------
Chapter 5
Individual Interview #4
Miroku
Hosted by: Amy Noir
--------------------
Amy: Today, we have an interview with our favorite lech, Miroku.
Miroku Fans: *cheers*
Amy: Let's see Miroku's personal file.
--------------------
Here's the deal, I'm getting tired of the "personal information" section, so I'm thinking of taking it off. It's not like you don't know who these characters are. Just send me death threats if you want this section back. If I get less than two death threats, this section will be gone forever. Thanks.
--------------------
Amy: Er...right. Anyway, here's Miroku.
Audiences: *Cheering and booing*
Miroku: Hello, Amy. I forgot to ask you this when we first met, but will you bear my child?
Amy: Die, hentai, DIE! *uses Sango's boomerang and hits Miroku on the head* Thank god I got this from Sango before we invited you out.
Miroku: *goes unconcious*
Amy: Um...what are we supposed to do if our guest is unconscious?
Myouga: *pops out of nowhere unnoticed* *hops onto Amy's face and started sucking on her blood*
Amy: *slap* *sees flat myouga on her hand* Oh, hello, Myouga. What are you doing here?
Myouga: I'm here to revive the houshi, of course. Emergency Myouga treatment for revival! *jumps onto Miroku and starts sucking his blood*
Miroku: *slap* *sees flat Myouga on his hand* Oh, hi Myouga. What are you doing here?
Inuyasha: *pops out of nowhere* Come on, Myouga. You told me you heard about a shard of the jewel!
Myouga: *sigh* All right, all right, Lord Inuyasha. I'm coming. *disappears with Inuyasha in a pop*
Inuyasha Fans: *comes into the studio to see Inuyasha disappearing* NOOOOO! *tries to chase after him*
Amy: Anyway, Miroku, Why don't we go onto the first question, and no -groping-!
Miroku: Lady Amy, you should be able to trust me. You know I would never grope you.
Amy: Just stay away from me. First question, did that line "will you bear my child" ever work with anyone?
Miroku: You might be surprised, Lady Amy. It has worked for my grandfather, my father, and it will probably work for me.
Audiences: *SNORT in disbelieve*
Amy: Yeah, right. How does it feel to be working beside someone as powerful and famous as Inuyasha?
Miroku: It's great. He had been a great babe-magnet in this time. I got to see a lot more ladies here than I ever will in the feudal time.
Amy: *Muttering* does this guy ever think about anything else?
Sango: *appearing beside Amy* Apparently not. At least you don't have to be stuck with him in the same house.
Amy: *nod* Right. Now, Miroku, what will you do after you destroy Naraku?
Miroku: *perverted grin* It depends on what Lady Sango wants to do. I will of course follow her wherever she will go.
Talon (sorry, couldn't help it): *aims rifle at Miroku* No, you won't.
Miroku: I want to see some brat like you to stop me. It's amazing how many bad words you can learn when you travel with Inuyasha.
Amy: I will not allow you to destroy anything! Director?
Director: Here's distraction!
Kouga: *pops up randomly* Hey, what am I doing here?
Amy: *sweatdrop* That's not who I had in mind at all. Anyway, Kouga, go and stop those two.
Kouga: Why should I?
Amy: Because...because I'll get Kagome in here if you do! *muttering to self* I'm a genius for thinking of Kagome.
Kouga: *Turns to Miroku and Talon* Get away from each other or I'll kill you!
Miroku and Talon: *pays Kouga no attention*
Sango: That's it! I'm leaving now and don't you dare even coming after me!
Miroku: But Lady Sango...
Talon: What about...
Amy: Time for you to go.
Talon: *disappears in a pop*
Miroku: Ahhh, peace.
Amy: Why don't we do the Q&A now.
Kouga: Hey, I'm still here!
Amy: Sorry.
Kouga: *disappears*
--------------------
Amy: Miroku, you know what the Q&A is, don't you.
Miroku: Yes, I was here for Sango's Q&A.
Amy: Good, let's go on to our first questioner.
Rei (one of my friends' question, so I decided to put on her fantasy name): are you psychologically convinced that you are a pervert?
Miroku: What is that supposed to mean?
Sango: *coming back into the studio* It means why are you always such a hentai, you dolt!
Talon: *also coming back into the studio* I knew you liked me better!
Sango: *sigh* Please just stay out of this.
Miroku: Me? A hentai? I think you have your eyes blinded, my dear fan.
Rei: I'm not a fan of yours.
Miroku: *perverted smile* Then why are you asking me a question? By the way, will you bear my child?
Sango: *slap*
Rei: *storms to Miroku and kicked his face, breaking his nose*
Miroku: Oww, that hurt!
Sango and Rei: Good!
Talon: You still haven't answered my questions! Don't you think you should focus more on finding and killing Naraku, than fathering an heir to continue the hunt? Yes, your life is shortened by the hellhole, but the sooner you catch and kill the bad guy, the sooner you have a normal life.
Miroku: That's what I was doing before they dragged me to this interview. Haven't you been focussing during the show? Being able to father an heir was merely another thing at the top of my list.
Talon: Ok, but Would it dissuade you from harrassing women if I threatened to blow you to smithereens?
Miroku: May I remind you that you have yet to achieve that even though you have tried twice already!
Talon: I would if that stupid host didn't interfere!
Amy: Hey, how did I get dragged into this? I'm just trying to keep peace and order within the studio. You two can go and settle your score outside after Miroku's interview is over and I wouldn't care one bit!
Miroku: Good, I'll see you after my interview then.
Talon: Yes, you won't get away this time!
Amy: Right, next question please!
Random Person (probably not a Miroku fan): where did you learn to use your staff?? while defending against, some angry women??
Miroku: Why does everyone think I'm such a pervert? There are lots of other more perverted characters in other animes, why do everyone pick on me?
Amy: *sigh* Next question.
Random Miroku Fan (finally, a fan!):Isn't purple kind of a feminin color? Why do you wear earrings? What's it like, being whacked over the head with a giant boomerang?
Miroku: No, purple may seem very feminin, but many people take it as a sign that I'm a very sensitive person.
Amy: *snigger* You are sensitive, all right (with extreme sarcasm)
Miroku: Hey, that was not nice! Anyway, my dear fan, will bear my child?
Sango: *hits Miroku on the head with her boomerang* You always have to say that, don't you? (sounding extremely pissed off, and -jealoused-.)
Miroku: Right, that's what it felt like.
Same Miroku Fan: I think I'll just stop now.
Amy: Good choice. Last question.
Kaori (you probably know who I am, just don't make fun of me because I'm so obsessed with Miroku! It's NoT my fault he's so hot and funny!): I will bear your child, houshi-sama!
Miroku: *falls off his chair* You...you will?
Kaori: What, surprised? *evil grin*
Miroku: *composing himself* Of course not! I'm just glad that someone had finally agreed.
Kaori: Great, *more evil grin* under one condition, though.
Miroku: *sounding confident* Anything, just name it!
Kaori: You have to stop being a hentai.
Miroku: How many times do I have to tell you people? I...AM...NOT...A...HENTAI!
Amy: Right...(more, more, more sarcasm. Yeah, I'm kind of stuck on being sarcastic right now.)
Miroku: *sigh* Why won't anyone believe me?
Talon: *very mad* Just end this *BBEP* so that the monk and I can have our death match!
Amy: Yeah, I think I'll end the show now.
--------------------
Write anything about the death match you want. I had soooo much fun writing this chapter I'm not even depressed anymore. So, yay!
I'm so depressed I can't even write, but this chapter is on Miroku, our favorite lech! An so many of you sent me questions, it almost cheered me up. So, I'll try my best with the chapter. If you think it sucks, just send me death threats, and I'll rewrite it.
--------------------
I'm sorry if this will bore you, but I loved one of my reviews sooooo much, I have to write some kind of side-track fanfic on the review Talon sent in. If you don't want to read this, just skip onto the main story, but I can't resist the temptation to write this, so here goes.
(I have copied&pasted the original review and edited it a bit. I hope you don't mind, Talon ^_^;.)
(rubs face) Ow. All I wanted to do was take you out to a movie, or dinner, or something. The weapons were to be taken like a bouquet of flowers.
Miroku: (grumble) Some bouquet...
Talon: (holds up a small beam rifle) Ahem?
Miroku: ... What's that thing? It reminds me of the male-
Talon: (quickly blows up a stage camera, to cut off Miroku's foul mouth)
Amy: Hey, that was expensive.
Talon: *ignores a very disgruntled Amy* This, is a beam rifle. It fires a burst of energy at near-light speed, and is exceptionally powerful. It also possesses an advanced targeting scope. (smiles at Sango) I was simply wondering if you wanted a... well... pretty sure fire way of killing Naraku. And it wouldn't be dishonorable: This rifle is no different from a bow, only much more powerful. Technology changes: honor is honor.
Amy: You have to pay for that.
Miroku: *also ignored Amy* (sarcastically) Well, thank you for that enlightening demonstration. Do you have any questions for moi?
Amy: You can't just destroy anything you like.
Talon: *Ignores Amy again* Yes. One: Don't you think you should focus more on finding and killing Naraku, than fathering an heir to continue the hunt? Yes, your life is shortened by the hellhole, but the sooner you catch and kill the bad guy, the sooner you have a normal life. Well, for YOU, at any rate...
Amy: I'll accept both cash and check, but no credit cards.
Miroku: (rolls his eyes) Any others?
Amy: No matter what, you'll pay for that.
Talon: Two: Would it dissuade you from harrassing women if I threatened to blow you to smithereens? Three: Just how DID you meet Mr. Raccoon? And Four: If you wanted to save yourself the trouble, a good last resort to save your life could be to simply chop off your hand. What do you think?
Amy: IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME?
Sango: Apparently not.
Amy: Why are you still here? I thought you left?
Sango: I have to lead houshi-sama back to Kagome's shrine before he decides to make some other unfortunate women his groping victim.
Miroku: Hey, I would never do that. Not when I have someone as beautiful as you for me to enjoy.
Sango: *SLAP*
Talon: Go away, Lech. *Pushes Miroku out of the way* Have you seen what my weapon can do? *gesturing to beam rifle*
Sango: Yes, that's very impressive.
Talon: Then will you go out with me if I give you one of these to kill Naraku with?
Sango: ...
Miroku: Isn't it time for my interview?
Amy: *checks time* Yeah, it is. I can't believe we've been here for two days already.
Talon: Didn't I tell you to stay out of this, Monk? *aims rifle at Miroku's head*
Miroku: *began taking beads away from wrist* Your bean ri-fold is nothing compared to my Kazaana.
Talon: Want to bet?
Amy: Um...help?
Inuyasha: *pops up shirtless* (ha, I'm evil) What the hell am I doing here?
Amy: Apparently, Miroku and Talon are trying to battle over Sango.
Inuyasha: That should be interesting...
Amy: *Extremely mad* YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP THEM! Attack them now before they destroy anything else in the studio.
Inuyasha: What if I don't want to.
Amy: *grinning evilly* Then I'll send all of your fan girls after you. I bet they'll be excited to see you shirtless.
Inuyasha: *turns to Miroku and Talon at once* Stop fighting each other! *Getting out Tetsusaiga.*
Miroku: *looks at Tetsusaiga in fear* I think I'll have my interview now.
Talon: *also looks at Tetsusaiga in fear* Yeah, I think I'll go into the audience now.
Both runs off
Inuyasha: cowards. *pops out of studio*
Sango: I think I'll go too.
Amy: I think you should stick around, since I believe you will be popping in to hit Miroku plenty of times in this episode.
Sango: *shrug* *went to stand beside Talon and inquiring about the weapon*
--------------------
Chapter 5
Individual Interview #4
Miroku
Hosted by: Amy Noir
--------------------
Amy: Today, we have an interview with our favorite lech, Miroku.
Miroku Fans: *cheers*
Amy: Let's see Miroku's personal file.
--------------------
Here's the deal, I'm getting tired of the "personal information" section, so I'm thinking of taking it off. It's not like you don't know who these characters are. Just send me death threats if you want this section back. If I get less than two death threats, this section will be gone forever. Thanks.
--------------------
Amy: Er...right. Anyway, here's Miroku.
Audiences: *Cheering and booing*
Miroku: Hello, Amy. I forgot to ask you this when we first met, but will you bear my child?
Amy: Die, hentai, DIE! *uses Sango's boomerang and hits Miroku on the head* Thank god I got this from Sango before we invited you out.
Miroku: *goes unconcious*
Amy: Um...what are we supposed to do if our guest is unconscious?
Myouga: *pops out of nowhere unnoticed* *hops onto Amy's face and started sucking on her blood*
Amy: *slap* *sees flat myouga on her hand* Oh, hello, Myouga. What are you doing here?
Myouga: I'm here to revive the houshi, of course. Emergency Myouga treatment for revival! *jumps onto Miroku and starts sucking his blood*
Miroku: *slap* *sees flat Myouga on his hand* Oh, hi Myouga. What are you doing here?
Inuyasha: *pops out of nowhere* Come on, Myouga. You told me you heard about a shard of the jewel!
Myouga: *sigh* All right, all right, Lord Inuyasha. I'm coming. *disappears with Inuyasha in a pop*
Inuyasha Fans: *comes into the studio to see Inuyasha disappearing* NOOOOO! *tries to chase after him*
Amy: Anyway, Miroku, Why don't we go onto the first question, and no -groping-!
Miroku: Lady Amy, you should be able to trust me. You know I would never grope you.
Amy: Just stay away from me. First question, did that line "will you bear my child" ever work with anyone?
Miroku: You might be surprised, Lady Amy. It has worked for my grandfather, my father, and it will probably work for me.
Audiences: *SNORT in disbelieve*
Amy: Yeah, right. How does it feel to be working beside someone as powerful and famous as Inuyasha?
Miroku: It's great. He had been a great babe-magnet in this time. I got to see a lot more ladies here than I ever will in the feudal time.
Amy: *Muttering* does this guy ever think about anything else?
Sango: *appearing beside Amy* Apparently not. At least you don't have to be stuck with him in the same house.
Amy: *nod* Right. Now, Miroku, what will you do after you destroy Naraku?
Miroku: *perverted grin* It depends on what Lady Sango wants to do. I will of course follow her wherever she will go.
Talon (sorry, couldn't help it): *aims rifle at Miroku* No, you won't.
Miroku: I want to see some brat like you to stop me. It's amazing how many bad words you can learn when you travel with Inuyasha.
Amy: I will not allow you to destroy anything! Director?
Director: Here's distraction!
Kouga: *pops up randomly* Hey, what am I doing here?
Amy: *sweatdrop* That's not who I had in mind at all. Anyway, Kouga, go and stop those two.
Kouga: Why should I?
Amy: Because...because I'll get Kagome in here if you do! *muttering to self* I'm a genius for thinking of Kagome.
Kouga: *Turns to Miroku and Talon* Get away from each other or I'll kill you!
Miroku and Talon: *pays Kouga no attention*
Sango: That's it! I'm leaving now and don't you dare even coming after me!
Miroku: But Lady Sango...
Talon: What about...
Amy: Time for you to go.
Talon: *disappears in a pop*
Miroku: Ahhh, peace.
Amy: Why don't we do the Q&A now.
Kouga: Hey, I'm still here!
Amy: Sorry.
Kouga: *disappears*
--------------------
Amy: Miroku, you know what the Q&A is, don't you.
Miroku: Yes, I was here for Sango's Q&A.
Amy: Good, let's go on to our first questioner.
Rei (one of my friends' question, so I decided to put on her fantasy name): are you psychologically convinced that you are a pervert?
Miroku: What is that supposed to mean?
Sango: *coming back into the studio* It means why are you always such a hentai, you dolt!
Talon: *also coming back into the studio* I knew you liked me better!
Sango: *sigh* Please just stay out of this.
Miroku: Me? A hentai? I think you have your eyes blinded, my dear fan.
Rei: I'm not a fan of yours.
Miroku: *perverted smile* Then why are you asking me a question? By the way, will you bear my child?
Sango: *slap*
Rei: *storms to Miroku and kicked his face, breaking his nose*
Miroku: Oww, that hurt!
Sango and Rei: Good!
Talon: You still haven't answered my questions! Don't you think you should focus more on finding and killing Naraku, than fathering an heir to continue the hunt? Yes, your life is shortened by the hellhole, but the sooner you catch and kill the bad guy, the sooner you have a normal life.
Miroku: That's what I was doing before they dragged me to this interview. Haven't you been focussing during the show? Being able to father an heir was merely another thing at the top of my list.
Talon: Ok, but Would it dissuade you from harrassing women if I threatened to blow you to smithereens?
Miroku: May I remind you that you have yet to achieve that even though you have tried twice already!
Talon: I would if that stupid host didn't interfere!
Amy: Hey, how did I get dragged into this? I'm just trying to keep peace and order within the studio. You two can go and settle your score outside after Miroku's interview is over and I wouldn't care one bit!
Miroku: Good, I'll see you after my interview then.
Talon: Yes, you won't get away this time!
Amy: Right, next question please!
Random Person (probably not a Miroku fan): where did you learn to use your staff?? while defending against, some angry women??
Miroku: Why does everyone think I'm such a pervert? There are lots of other more perverted characters in other animes, why do everyone pick on me?
Amy: *sigh* Next question.
Random Miroku Fan (finally, a fan!):Isn't purple kind of a feminin color? Why do you wear earrings? What's it like, being whacked over the head with a giant boomerang?
Miroku: No, purple may seem very feminin, but many people take it as a sign that I'm a very sensitive person.
Amy: *snigger* You are sensitive, all right (with extreme sarcasm)
Miroku: Hey, that was not nice! Anyway, my dear fan, will bear my child?
Sango: *hits Miroku on the head with her boomerang* You always have to say that, don't you? (sounding extremely pissed off, and -jealoused-.)
Miroku: Right, that's what it felt like.
Same Miroku Fan: I think I'll just stop now.
Amy: Good choice. Last question.
Kaori (you probably know who I am, just don't make fun of me because I'm so obsessed with Miroku! It's NoT my fault he's so hot and funny!): I will bear your child, houshi-sama!
Miroku: *falls off his chair* You...you will?
Kaori: What, surprised? *evil grin*
Miroku: *composing himself* Of course not! I'm just glad that someone had finally agreed.
Kaori: Great, *more evil grin* under one condition, though.
Miroku: *sounding confident* Anything, just name it!
Kaori: You have to stop being a hentai.
Miroku: How many times do I have to tell you people? I...AM...NOT...A...HENTAI!
Amy: Right...(more, more, more sarcasm. Yeah, I'm kind of stuck on being sarcastic right now.)
Miroku: *sigh* Why won't anyone believe me?
Talon: *very mad* Just end this *BBEP* so that the monk and I can have our death match!
Amy: Yeah, I think I'll end the show now.
--------------------
Write anything about the death match you want. I had soooo much fun writing this chapter I'm not even depressed anymore. So, yay!