Alex was in the officer's club, drowning her sorrows in a martini. Hawkeye
and Trapper came up to her.
'What's up?' Trapper asked.
'Frank won't give me a couple days of leave,' Alex said, viciously stabbing a pretzel with a straw.
'Wait until Henry gets back, he'll let you go,' Hawkeye said, patting Alex on the back.
'He's not due back for five days! I can't wait that long!' Alex said, causing the pretzel to fall off the bar. She pushed her drink away and stared moodily at the wall.
'Maybe we can help,' Trapper offered.
'No, it doesn't matter. I'll wait,' Alex said.
'Will you at least tell us why you want a couple days leave?' Hawkeye asked.
'No, and don't bother spreading stuff around again, in hope someone will tell you, because I'm the only one that knows why I want those days of R and R,' Alex muttered. She stood up and left money beside her glass before leaving.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
The next day, Hawkeye and Trapper went into the mess tent to see Klinger sitting alone at a table.
'Where's Alex?' Hawkeye asked.
'I thought maybe you'd know,' Klinger asked. Trapper sighed and the three men walked to Radar's office. Hawkeye grabbed the mike for the PA system and turned it on.
'Lieutenant Dustin, come to the front office please, lieutenant Dustin,' Hawkeye said. One of the other nurse's turned up instead.
'I've just found this on Alex's cot. I was tidying up her cot for her, she leaves it unmade every morning, you see, even with Major Burns in charge, and I found this note,' the nurse explained. Klinger took it from her.
' "Gone AWOL",' Klinger read. He looked up at Hawkeye and Trapper.
'She must have gone because Ferret Face wouldn't give her that pass,' Hawkeye said.
'Should we show Frank? He's responsible for everyone in camp while Henry's out,' Trapper said.
'What would he do? He'd just ignore it or something,' Klinger scoffed.
'Come on, we should show him, Alex might get caught by the enemy or something,' Hawkeye said, walking into Frank's temporary office. Trapper and Klinger followed him, finding Frank and Margaret looking annoyed at being disturbed.
'Does no one in this camp know how to knock?' Frank yelled.
'No, but hum us a couple of bars and we'll fake it,' Trapper said sarcastically.
'Alex has gone AWOL,' Klinger said, shoving the scrap of paper with Alex's message and signature on it at the Majors. Margaret read it and passed it to Frank.
'She can't have gone, not while I'm in charge!' Frank said.
'Face it, she's not in camp. Ask every single person to look for her, and I bet you won't find her within a two mile radius of here,' Hawkeye said.
'Radar, get MP's out looking for Alex,' Trapper said as Radar came into the office.
'Yes, sir, right away,' Radar said before turning to leave.
'Excuse me, Frank is in charge here!' Margaret said loudly.
'Yeah!' Frank yelled.
'You have a better idea?' Hawkeye asked. He turned to Radar. 'Go get the MP's,' he said. Radar nodded and ran out.
'What's up?' Trapper asked.
'Frank won't give me a couple days of leave,' Alex said, viciously stabbing a pretzel with a straw.
'Wait until Henry gets back, he'll let you go,' Hawkeye said, patting Alex on the back.
'He's not due back for five days! I can't wait that long!' Alex said, causing the pretzel to fall off the bar. She pushed her drink away and stared moodily at the wall.
'Maybe we can help,' Trapper offered.
'No, it doesn't matter. I'll wait,' Alex said.
'Will you at least tell us why you want a couple days leave?' Hawkeye asked.
'No, and don't bother spreading stuff around again, in hope someone will tell you, because I'm the only one that knows why I want those days of R and R,' Alex muttered. She stood up and left money beside her glass before leaving.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
The next day, Hawkeye and Trapper went into the mess tent to see Klinger sitting alone at a table.
'Where's Alex?' Hawkeye asked.
'I thought maybe you'd know,' Klinger asked. Trapper sighed and the three men walked to Radar's office. Hawkeye grabbed the mike for the PA system and turned it on.
'Lieutenant Dustin, come to the front office please, lieutenant Dustin,' Hawkeye said. One of the other nurse's turned up instead.
'I've just found this on Alex's cot. I was tidying up her cot for her, she leaves it unmade every morning, you see, even with Major Burns in charge, and I found this note,' the nurse explained. Klinger took it from her.
' "Gone AWOL",' Klinger read. He looked up at Hawkeye and Trapper.
'She must have gone because Ferret Face wouldn't give her that pass,' Hawkeye said.
'Should we show Frank? He's responsible for everyone in camp while Henry's out,' Trapper said.
'What would he do? He'd just ignore it or something,' Klinger scoffed.
'Come on, we should show him, Alex might get caught by the enemy or something,' Hawkeye said, walking into Frank's temporary office. Trapper and Klinger followed him, finding Frank and Margaret looking annoyed at being disturbed.
'Does no one in this camp know how to knock?' Frank yelled.
'No, but hum us a couple of bars and we'll fake it,' Trapper said sarcastically.
'Alex has gone AWOL,' Klinger said, shoving the scrap of paper with Alex's message and signature on it at the Majors. Margaret read it and passed it to Frank.
'She can't have gone, not while I'm in charge!' Frank said.
'Face it, she's not in camp. Ask every single person to look for her, and I bet you won't find her within a two mile radius of here,' Hawkeye said.
'Radar, get MP's out looking for Alex,' Trapper said as Radar came into the office.
'Yes, sir, right away,' Radar said before turning to leave.
'Excuse me, Frank is in charge here!' Margaret said loudly.
'Yeah!' Frank yelled.
'You have a better idea?' Hawkeye asked. He turned to Radar. 'Go get the MP's,' he said. Radar nodded and ran out.