He punched in the code and I felt some odd delight at knowing what it was, as if it made me part of an inner circle as well -- not just the creature in my head. I felt like I was one of them.
I had accepted that I wanted to be one of them.
"Why?" any human would wonder. I had wondered at first, and at last I had defined my reasons. It was simple: I could never be an Animorph. Not someone like me. Fighting for all that was decent and just and kind and free -- Taylor? No. I didn't have the passion. I didn't have the beliefs.
But fighting for power? I could do that. I could envision the goals of these few, desperate, ugly slugs better than I could those of five kids and an alien that could change their shapes.
Xanos, as usual, read my thoughts.
{I don't know whether to feel contempt towards you or not,} he commented. {You... identify with us, which makes you wiser than most humans. But you betray your own race, and I think that at its core that horrifies and satisfies every one who sees it.}
His words rang true but I wanted to hear him explain them. {Satisfies?}
{Yes. We all want to believe that everyone is as corrupt as we are. You, Taylor, are proof that anyone, and everyone, is corrupt.}
{Explain.}
He obliged. {You were nothing more than a high school girl who wanted to be prom queen.}
{And probably would have been.}
{You see?} said Xanos, pleased. {That was your goal. That was the sphere of your life. Oh, you'd like to believe that you were something more, something deeper, something infinitely wise and intelligent. You'd like to believe that you were above all of those other little peons. You'd like to condescend to them, and say that you're different from others because you took pity on the lower class, so to speak, didn't scorn them as much as others – but in truth? Taylor, you were nothing more than another high school girl. Nothing more... maybe something a little less.}
{What's your point?} I asked coldly.
{You're what those idiot Animorphs were fighting for: the average. The people who had the opportunities for normality that they did not. People like you, ironically, are what this whole blasted war was fought for – and what do you do? You sympathize with us! For no reason except that you've driven yourself mad with vain fairy tales of how gorgeous and omnipotent you are and how everyone should worship you and if they won't worship you for your beauty you'll damn well find some other kind of power.}
{Human swear words?} I observed emotionlessly. {Here I thought you were so far above us.}
He snorted. {Corruption goes both ways, little girl. You adopt my mindset, I adopt your phrases. I think it's more than an even trade. Now shut up. I have business to attend to and I don't need you distracting me.}
My body stepped through the door and my head turned to look at an Andalite and a human. "Visser Thirty-eight. Sub-visser Twenty," Xanos acknowledged.
"Xanos 208," the sub-visser answered. He smiled a genuine, proud smile – something I hadn't seen Controllers do often. "We're done. The device is ready."
{Yes,} the visser agreed. {My creation is at last complete.}
The boy whirled around with a rage-filled face. "What?"
{You heard me.} He tilted his head. {It's done. My commendations on carrying out my specifications so quickly.}
"Are you deficient?" he snapped. "Blind? Forgetful? Are you ignoring how much work I have put into this? I designed almost all of it, you stupid fool!"
Visser Thirty-eight's two stalk eyes blinked once. {Come now, Sub-visser. Surely you're not asserting that you're responsible for this.}
"I certainly am!" The sub-visser looked as though he'd explode. "You get credit for everything, Visser, because your host is an Andalite and mine is a human and people expect these technological advances from Andalite Controllers. But it's not the host that matters! It's the Yeerk! And I am more intelligent and capable than you can hope to be!"
{You forget your rank,} the visser rebuked calmly.
"This should be your rank!"
"Ahem," Xanos said finally, clearing his throat.
The visser and sub-visser turned to him haughtily.
"All that matters to the Yeerk empire," my voice said, "is that it's ready."
After a slight pause, the sub-visser lowered his head. "My life belongs to the empire," he affirmed in a low voice. "I live only to see her advance."
Visser Thirty-eight laughed. {A noble sentiment. Some Yeerk scum live only for ambition. Fancy that.}
{Hypocrite,} Xanos muttered privately to me. {Almost all "Yeerk scum" live only for ambition. This sub-visser is an anomaly, so to speak.} Speaking openly again, he continued, "What must I do?"
"Place your hand on the device and you'll feel a slight electrical shock," the human Controller said. "It's not unlike acquiring the morphing power for the first time. After that your DNA will be stored in it and it will be capable of finding you anywhere. Capable of finding an individual with your DNA pattern, at least."
Xanos nodded and began to morph into Rachel. When he was done, and my body was not quite my own, he placed his hand on the pyramid and relaxed. A slight tingle flowed through him – through me, as well, but I was only an observer and I didn't feel anything in my body directly anymore.
"We'll begin scanning tomorrow," Sub-visser Twenty said in a subdued voice. "I have to feed. Directly after that we'll start the search..."
{Ridiculous. We'll start it tonight,} Visser Thirty-eight snapped.
Sub-visser Twenty laughed at him. "We need time to meet with the other two morph-capables and at least a small squadron of Hork-Bajir. You're not as much of a fool as you seem, Visser, so surely you must realize that this Rachel will attempt to escape. Also, Tobias still has not been found. If we rush in without preparation we will fail, and I won't have that on my record now. I'm sure you don't want it on yours."
Grudgingly, the visser turned away. {Very well. Tomorrow.}
"Tomorrow," Xanos repeated.
I felt his adrenaline rush and realized, without shock, that my excitement mirrored his own.