JN: Ok, so I finished the fifth book 16 times -

YJN: And every time she hoped the damn ending would change…-_-'

JN: ^^;; shut up!! It's not fair that Sirius had to die! Damn stupid Harry Potter with his damn stupid heroism…

Harry: ::sniff sniff:: You're mean… ::sobs::

JN: ::huggles Harry, who turned chibi:: I'm sorry. I was mad, and I didn't mean it…

Harry: k! ^_^

JN: Remus, wanna do the disclaimer?

Remus: Sure. Hi Sukoshi Jigoku Neko doesn't own Harry Potter or any of the affiliated characters, things, places, objects, etc…So, please don't sue her.

JN: ^_^ K, onto the fic! ^_^

YJN: -_-'

Love Can Never Forget

Remus Lupin sat in a chair in the Black household, watching the rain through a window. He was on the verge of tears; he knew it, though he had promised himself that he wouldn't cry since it happened, and he hadn't. Though, that was only a day and a half ago. No one knew that the werewolf was hurting. He kept up his normally calm pretenses for everyone, and no one saw through it, save one creature; Buckbeak, whom he took care of now. Somehow, no matter what he did to seem back to himself around the hippogriff, the creature seemed to know that something was wrong with him; the werewolf could see it in the intelligent eagle-eyes that it owned. This entire house; everything reminded Remus of him. Right down to the very aura that shrouded the air; since Sirius had inhabited the house, it had begun to even feel like the anigmus. Kreacher wasn't helping matters either. The annoyingly insane house elf walked about, no longer muttering about 'mudbloods' and 'mistress would be so disappointed'. Now the little git was walking about, outright singing to a very random, tone-deaf tune something along the lines of 'Mistress would be happy, dead is her filthy evil son. Kreacher's done it for her, the darker lord has won!' But by the time he had that much of it out with Remus in earshot, he realized that the werewolf was present, and immediately ran off, ears flattening against his head in fear. This is because that Remus had dealt with the annoying creature's antics for the first half day. By noon, Kreacher was screaming in a trunk that was magicked shut and thrown off of the roof. Repeatedly. By the time he had been let out, and that was only when Dumbledoor had asked Remus to release him, he was so shaken up and sick, that no one had seen him for another half a day. The first time the blond had seen him was later this morning, in which case, he turned tail and ran in the other direction, not saying a word.

Now, onto Remus, who was ready to smash the window he was looking through with all of the pent-up frustration that he held. Sirius, why did you go? Why? Dammit, it would have been so much easier if you had just done as told and stayed put in your house. But no, you couldn't listen to Snape's suggestion; wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell you to stay behind… A tear slid down the blond werewolf's cheek. He had to get out; had to get away from the reminders of Sirius. Not bothering with a cloak, he flung open the door and ran into the rain blindly, remembering to close the door behind him as a habit only. Having no idea where he was going, he ran, and he ran, and he ran, until the breath in his lungs burned and the weight of his sodden clothes caused him to collapse, panting heavily as the water from the skies splashed onto his face and body. The freezing cold drops hit his pale skin hard, numbing him; freeing him from his pain, from his sorrow……from his love.

Leaning against a tree he had not known was there, he realized that the sorrowing wolf inside had brought him to a place of comfort; the forest that was about a thirty minute car ride from number 12, Grimmauld Place. Shaking in the cold that he refused to acknowledge, he sat there, under the thick branches of a cedar, soaking wet and still being rained on profusely, and just stared. Stared at the air in front of him, not really seeing; just…hurting. Mentally, physically, emotionally, everything hurt. Even his soul was aching as one thought that he would never fully come to accept finally made itself known to the wizard. Sirius Black is dead. Venomously, Remus argued, No, he's not, dammit! He's not. At this, another tear trickled down the werewolf's face. He is, and you know it. Just accept it. The wolf was at it again. It had loved Sirius too, and werewolves mate for life; it was hurting more than the blonde himself was, but instead of crying and attempting to remember him like Remus was, it was trying it's damnedest to make him forget the anigmus in any way he could. No he's not. I will *not* accept it, because if I do, he will truly be dead; at least I can remember him. Remus fought back. He couldn't just forget Sirius like that; they had been through so much, from transformations to Hogwarts to Azkaban and more… Stupid human. Don't torment us both by holding onto foolish hopes; you saw him fall into the veil, and you said yourself that there was no way he lived. All of you humans are so weak; makes me sick. the creature inside of him sneered, and Remus saw red. Weak? WEAK? You are the one that is trying to take the easiest way out of this and just forget him when you know that you love him more than I do, so stop pretending that it's easy to just let go; it's killing you, and so you try to forget, but you never will, and you want to know why my four legged friend? BECAUSE LOVE CAN NEVER FORGET! You will never wash away the smell of his hair, or the charm of his smile, or how it felt to just sit in his arms, content with the world and simply happy. You never will because emotions run deep, and the more you love the deeper they run; you can never purge yourself of them. It doesn't matter what you do. You can pretend to forget and be fine, but you never will be, because you will never forget him! You speak of weakness as if it excludes you, but you are truly the weakest one of us all, acting as if you never gave a damn, when I know very well that you are so miserable you can barely see! With that, Remus let the forbidden tears stream down his face, mixing with the tears from the sky so that you couldn't tell which were his and which came from heaven itself……

Remus blinked. He was still in the park, but it had stopped raining, and it was beginning to become dark outside. He must have fallen asleep. He was stiff from sitting up, and as he moved to stand, earned himself a neck spasm and a few aching joints. Pulling himself up, he thought idly that perhaps some of the residents at number 12 Grimmauld Place would be missing him, but at the same toll, couldn't bring himself to care at all. In fact, he couldn't bring himself to care about much at the moment. Looking around, though not really seeing, he picked a random direction and started to walk. He knew that the full moon was only a day away, but the wolf wouldn't try anything, and he didn't have to take another dose of the Wolfsbane Potion until morning. He had no idea where he was going; he was simply walking to waste time, and there really was no other reason. Turning down a few side streets, he finally decided to go for a fly instead; it was much more conventional for flying, and Remus enjoyed it more than walking. Tiredly, Remus whispered, holding his wand out,

"Accio Broom." Within seconds, it appeared next to him, and staying in the shadows, the werewolf mounted and kicked off the ground gently, returning to the skies that he once was terrified of. It had been Sirius who had showed him that there was nothing to be afraid of up there; showed him that flying was a wonderful escape into a wonderland of clouds and sky. Remus closed his eyes, letting the wind flow through the yellow locks that were streaked with silver, courtesy of the wolf in him, and imagined that Sirius was sitting behind him, arms around the waist of the wolf, chin on his shoulder saying,

"See Remus. It's wonderful up here." Yes Sirius, it is beautiful up here, but nothing would be better than if you were here with me, Remus thought as another tear threatened to slip down his face. Willing himself not to show his sorrow, he concentrated on the sky around him, simply twisting and turning and trying to forget the deep chuckle that would have come from his partner had he been with Remus……

Around an hour later, the werewolf landed randomly, deciding that he was freezing cold enough, having been flying in the clouds and already being wet. Looking around, he had no idea where he was. That is, until he saw the glare of one of the orange street light reflect off of a vandalized old telephone booth. Why in the world am I here where he…? thought Remus, about to remount his broom and get out of there as fast as possible. But, the wolf stopped him suddenly. You are sure that there is no way that he survived the fall into that veil when he was hit with the jinx? It asked, in what could almost be called a hopeful manner. Remus blinked, and then replied in a slightly uncertain fashion, Well, yes. That was the veil between worlds he fell through. You know I've read about it before. Even if he somehow didn't go to another dimension and wasn't affected by the jinx, the fall in most likely would have ripped him to pieces within a second. Then, he felt the wolf smile in a slow, feral way. But it might not have…… Well, the creature was right. He may have just been taken in and was floating between worlds, in which case he could possibly be brought back with a spell that Remus had read about……the blonde werewolf shook his head. No. The chance that Sirius was still alive and simply just behind the veil that he couldn't break past was less than a million to one. But there is still a chance, and if you know him half as well as I do, you'll know that there's a good chance that the one is the case. The wolf argued. Remus could feel it's hopes grow, and the blonde wasn't sure what the hell the creature had in mind, though he was sure it probably was not something that was legal. What are you getting at? It doesn't matter; we can't get to him anyway. That veil is in the department of mysteries, and besides, you are only setting us up for another crush to the hear that you and I both don't need. Then, the wolf said something that made Remus look up at the phone booth thoughtfully. It wouldn't hurt anyone to go and look, now would it…?……

TBC……

JN: There should be one more chapter, possibly 2, but I don't really think so.

YJN: -_-' I would be content to just leave it as is.
Remus: What're you making me do??!

JN: Nothing that bad……just…illegal…and you might get sent to Azkaban……

Remus: O.o HELP! ::runs::

JN: ^^;; he'll be back, but if I dun get no reviews, then I won't be…^^;;