I slept on the ground for a long time while Tobias stood watch. Even as my eyes closed I knew I'd feel guilty about it when I woke up, but I didn't care. The pine tags poked into my skin as I drifted off, and I hardly even noticed them.

I woke up with a mouthful of dirt and brown grass - pretty much how I'd expected to, minus the voice yelling my name. "Jake?"

"About time you woke up," he said gruffly. I took a look at his face and knew the fugue had been hell for him, too. He'd gone through it twice himself, once a long time ago and once just a few days ago, and he'd watched Marco and Cassie during it as well. Jake isn't as coldhearted as I am. Seeing them screaming in pain hurt him more than me.

I reached up my hand expectantly and he pulled me to my feet. "How long was I asleep?"

{About two hours,} Tobias replied. {Marco's Yeerk died half an hour ago.}

"How is he?"

"Cute as ever," a light voice with forced humor piped up from the doorway of the shack. "Miss me, Xena?"

I grinned at him, so relieved to see him free that I didn't bother with our old rivalry. "Of course."

Cassie leaned against the wall of the shack, more comfortable with the dirt and grime on the old walls than I could ever be. She smiled at me. "The group's almost back together again. Assuming we live through getting Ax, we're going to seriously owe Rachel and Tobias."

Jake nodded in agreement. "Which brings us to the Yeerk pool again. There's a new morph-capable down there, though."

"Taylor?" Marco offered.

"Yes." Jake didn't look at me. I guessed that Tobias had filled him in on who, exactly, Taylor was, or at least how she and I had met. He wasn't going to ream me out for being careless and stupid. Actually, I could tell that he wasn't going to confront me at all. He knew I'd been through enough. All of us had, and nothing could be done now.

Marco glanced down, but not before I caught a glimpse of his eyes. They looked older, years older . . . It occurred to me to wonder exactly how much time had passed since our fateful oatmeal battle and their infestation.

"There's one thing you all might not know," he said quietly. "Rachel and Tobias heard of it, but you two were taking care of the fighter." He looked at his best friend - his feet, instead of his eyes. No eye contact. "The Yeerks are working on a project."

I knew what he was going to say. I was determined not to believe it. "Aren't they always?" I said, with a light laugh. "We'll take care of it once we have Ax back, whatever it is."

Marco wouldn't meet my eyes, like he hadn't met Jake's. He wouldn't really look at any of us. He was ashamed, as if what he was about to say was his fault. My fear mixed with pity.

He swallowed. "The Yeerks can track Rachel's DNA anywhere in the world. Possibly the galaxy."

Jake's eyes went so wide that for a moment I thought they'd bulge out of his head. He didn't speak, didn't yell the explosive "WHAT?" I was waiting for, just stared.

"Taylor acquired Rachel before she was infested. Therefore, she had her DNA. My Yeerk and Ax's Yeerk worked on a project to find and locate that DNA anywhere. They can find Taylor in Rachel's morph, or Rachel anytime she's not morphed. I'm guessing that they initialized it as soon as the Bug fighter lifted out."

I wrapped my arms around myself, hands gripping my shoulders like a little girl outside in December without a coat. I was determined not to tremble. I shivered anyway.

"Rachel will have to stay in morph," Cassie said quickly. She glanced at me and then away. She knew what I was thinking already, while I was still finding the strength to say it.

"She'll have to demorph every two hours," Marco reminded her softly. "Or become a nothlit."

"Then she'll have to become a nothlit," Cassie shot back.

"I won't do it," I interrupted quietly. "I won't live my life as a bug or a rat or a hawk or even a grizzly."

Cassie exploded, yelling with tears in her voice - "Rachel, what do you expect from us?"

"Do you want me to run away so they won't be led straight to you?" I asked cruelly. I knew Cassie didn't want that. I knew none of them did.

She burst into tears and sank down on the ground, her face pressed into her hands. I didn't expect that. For some reason, I hadn't thought of what would happen to me affecting my best friend.

Jake was still staring blankly. He's the leader. He has to keep us all safe. But this was a situation where all of us could not possibly be safe. He could drive me away and save Marco, Cassie, Tobias, and himself - or he could sacrifice us all. But Jake knows me better than that. He knew I wouldn't make him decide.

All of them knew I wouldn't make them decide.

"I'll give myself up," I said in a hoarse, scratchy voice. I was afraid. "It will buy you guys time. You can get away."

Cassie's sobs grew louder - but she didn't object.

{Rachel,} Tobias whispered. {You can't . . .}

"I don't have any choice, Tobias."

"Tobias, check and see if anyone's coming," Jake commanded quietly.

He shot up into the air, searching for the people who were coming for me. They had to be coming by now.

{They're a mile away,} he called down. I was right. {They're on foot, with Hork-Bajir and humans. Even Taxxons, Rachel.}

I shuddered, thinking of what I was about to do - the time I was about to spend, every day, side by side with a centipede and a lizard.

What were my choices? Could I surrender Cassie and Marco and Jake to the Yeerks to save myself? Could I surrender Tobias?

Could I surrender Earth?

It was a cliché sentiment, I admit. Thoughts of Earth and our global safety weren't what would make me give myself up. Tobias, Cassie, Jake, Marco - thoughts of them might.

Jake looked at me. I looked at him. I nodded.

"You guys are going to come back for me, right?" I asked, my voice cracking despite my best efforts.

"Rachel . . ." Marco trailed off. I saw one tear in his eye. He didn't want anyone to be sacrificed. Marco the cynical isn't good at accepting sacrifices. But he swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. "Of course we will."

There were no thank-you's. It would be too awkward. "Thank you for going into slavery to save us." I didn't expect them and I didn't want them. I just wanted to know that they cared. The glittering in everyone's eyes told me that much.

{Rachel, please,} Tobias begged silently. {We'll do something. You'll be safe. You can hide.}

"It's not forever, Tobias."

{What if they kill you?}

"They won't kill someone who can morph. They won't torture me. They can't do anything to me."

{Why can't they torture you?} he demanded bitterly. {Anything they do to you will be fixed with a quick morph.}

Cassie sucked in a gasp as we all realized he was right. But pain didn't scare me - I was resolved.

Only Tobias resisted. {Rachel . . .}

"You don't want me to stay, Tobias," I told him softly. "You don't want me to be the type of person who would stay."

Jake was the only one who hadn't made it harder for me. He hadn't ever tried to argue with me. He was sorry; he was sad; he was prepared. "Tobias, get their positions."

He released the branch and flew past the trees submissively. I could see him wheeling in the bright blue that shone between the leaves. I admired the speed and grace of flight and could not stop myself from wondering if it would be the last time.

"I'll still see you in battles, won't I?" I murmured to Jake. "You'll still be down there once in a while."

"Don't think like that," he snapped fiercely. "We'll get you back. You and Ax, both."

I hadn't thought of him. We'd be down there together - sort of. I shuddered to my core thinking of the restraints on the slimy walls, being clutched against the stone unable to move. I'd never be able to move.

Tobias landed. {They're almost here.}

"Let's go," Jake ordered.

{No.} Tobias flared his wings and they melted into arms. {I'm demorphing.}

My heart caught in my throat. He was making it harder for me. I stared at the boy emerging from a bird and stepped forward with the sensation of horrible regret.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips into my hair. I felt my body convulse in a sob and buried my face in his chest, forgetting that the others were there.

He kissed me once, lightly, on the lips. Then it was time.

"Bye, Tobias," I whispered. I stepped back and started to run.