The One Where Mercury Continues

Original story by: Ezika

Continued with permission. Thanks, Ezika!

Continuation by: Jana~

Chapter Six

******

--Ross and Rachel navigated the halls of the hospital, knowing their way around better than they would have thought possible. After eating the sandwiches Ross had made for them, they grabbed a cab, stopping off at Starbucks before heading for the hospital. Their coffee cups remained in their hands as they proceeded towards Monica's room.

"You know what I was thinking?" Rachel said out of the blue, as she followed beside Ross, his pace slow but steady.

"What?" he asked absently.

"I was thinking, maybe I should move back in with Monica for a bit. Just till she's doing better."

Ross stopped abruptly, turning to face her. "You want to move out? We just started living together."

"No, I don't want to move out," she explained, "I just think Monica is gonna need some help, or company, for a little while. After all this."

With a sigh, Ross nodded as he looked at the ground. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Guys, you're back early!"

Ross and Rachel both looked over to see Phoebe and Joey nearing, from the general direction of the cafeteria.

"Um, we couldn't sleep," Ross said, glancing at Rachel before facing the two approaching friends. "Why are you guys so early?"

Phoebe and Joey shared looks before she answered.

"We found a note on Monica's end table, addressed to Chandler. A suicide note," she added.

"Oh, God," Rachel gasped.

"Did you give it to Chandler?" Ross asked; Phoebe nodded. "What did he say about it?"

"We haven't seen him," Joey informed, "Since he left to go read it."

"He left?" Rachel asked. "Where'd he go?"

"He's still here," Phoebe told them. "In the hospital. He just wanted to be alone when he read it. That, and Monica asked that he not be in the room with her while he did," she added, "Cause she said it would make her uncomfortable."

"It was just addressed to Chandler?" Ross asked. "Not to all of us?"

"Well, it's mostly to Chandler, but she mentions us in it too," Phoebe explained.

"What?" Ross exclaimed. "You read it?"

Joey gave Phoebe a light slap on the shoulder, reminding her that he had suggested they not read it.

"Well, it wasn't sealed," she defended her actions, "And we- I," she corrected, "I was worried, so, I read it. We both did," she added, then glared back at Joey, "But only because we wanted to help her."

"How does reading Chandler's private note help her?!" Ross asked, upset.

"It helps us to know what she was thinking," Phoebe replied. "It helps us understand how she got there, at that point where death is better than living."

"If you read it," Rachel stated softly, "Then, you know. You know how she got there." Phoebe nodded. "How?" Rachel asked.

***

--Staring at nothing, Chandler sat silently, allowing the words to sink in. Every emotion possible was bombarding him, all at the same time. Sadness, love, pity, anger, frustration… all that and more challenged him as Father Daniel read the note Monica had written. He couldn't stop picturing her as the words were recited, as she looked while on the ledge, the rain drenching her, the vacant look in her eyes, her limbs not much more than skin and bones.

The one thing that surprised him, was that he no longer felt responsible for what she had done, or attempted to do. The letter was raw and emotional and completely honest, and it in no way pointed back to him as being at fault. If anything, it was their relationship and feelings for one-another that almost stopped her from doing it at all.

She made brief mention of her brother, parents, and friends, but the majority of the note was directed at him. He could tell she wrote it after they had been together, cause she talked about it, but not in the way he expected her to.

While on the ledge, she'd said that it had been a mistake, but the letter pointed to something different entirely. An entirely different viewpoint, which for a moment, actually made him happy, till he realized the context of the revelation.

His mind was running in a million directions at once, and it was Father Daniel calling to him that snapped him back into reality and away from his many thoughts.

"Chandler, are you ok?"

He looked up at the priest, trying his best to smile reassuringly. "Yeah. Just… overwhelmed."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what to think, right now. I mean, on one hand, if not for the fact that she is lying in a hospital bed, completely messed up, I would be, in a way, happy over some of what she'd said. But, now, I don't know what to do. Or think. I don't know what to say to her," he added, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"If I go in there and talk to her," he continued, "And I say the wrong thing… I don't want to be the cause of her being in any more pain."

"So, then, you don't agree with her?"

"I don't know," he answered. "Part of me does, but part of me, is worried."

"Maybe time is what you both need," Father Daniel suggested. "Time to heal, and to grow, and to reconcile all that has happened."

With a heavy sigh, Chandler nodded as he took the letter from Father Daniel's outstretched hand, tucking it back into its envelope.

***

--She was paraphrasing, but Phoebe had recounted all she remembered about the note, Ross and Rachel shocked by what they were hearing.

"Since when does she feel like that?" Ross asked.

Phoebe and Joey both shrugged.

"It makes sense though," Rachel commented, "I mean, if you think about it." Off their questioning looks, she explained further. "She had a crush on him, the Thanksgiving before she cut off his toe. And look how close they've always been. It just, makes sense," she reiterated, "Don't you think?"

With a shrug, Ross muttered, "Yeah, I guess I see your point, I'm just, I'm surprised, I guess. Neither one of them told us any of this."

"To be fair," Phoebe interjected, "They didn't even tell each other."

"True," Ross agreed, "I just- I feel like I don't even know the two people I should know best."

"Chandler," Phoebe whispered.

"Yeah," Ross replied, "And Monica," he added, expanding on what he thought was Phoebe's contribution to the conversation.

"No," she said sotto, then pointed down the hall. "Chandler's coming."

Everyone turned, watching as their friend, whom they hadn't really seen since his breakdown, approach.

"All eyes on me," Chandler said once within earshot. "Do I even have to ask?" he questioned, gesturing to them as a group, implying that they must be talking about the obvious subject.

Without warning, taking everyone by surprise, Ross stepped forward and embraced Chandler.

Hesitantly, Chandler hugged back, patting his friend as he looked at the others, questioning them silently. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting from Ross, seeing as how he'd slept with his sister.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked as Ross pulled away.

"We were just talking about the letter," Joey answered, wincing when Chandler's attention snapped over to him.

"You read it?" Chandler asked him, causing him to immediately begin fidgeting.

Joey looked to Phoebe before nodding. "But it was her idea!" he exclaimed, pointing at Phoebe.

Phoebe threw him a look before addressing Chandler. "We were just trying to help. We thought, if we knew-"

"Pheebs," Chandler interrupted, "It's ok."

"It is?" she asked.

"It is?" Ross then asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I understand. I probably would have done the same thing, if I were in the same position."

"You would?" Joey asked.

"You would?" Ross repeated.

"Is there an echo in here?" Chandler joked.

"So," Rachel asked, blowing past his attempt at humor. "What are you gonna say to her?"

Chandler sighed, "I'm not exactly sure yet. Father Daniel suggested that we will probably need time to heal and stuff, before we can even entertain the idea of- Well, you know."

"Who's Father Daniel?" Joey asked.

"The hospital chaplain," Chandler informed. "He, well, sorta, helped me," he admitted reluctantly.

"With what?" Ross asked.

"With, reading the letter," Chandler answered. "Mostly. And dealing with what it said, a little."

"I don't understand," Joey said with a slight scowl. "What did he do, read the letter to you?"

"Well… yeah," Chandler confessed. "Actually, he did. I tried to read it, but I couldn't get past the first sentence. It was like, my head was trying to protect my heart, cause it knew the words were going to be hard to hear." With a shrug, he added, "Father Daniel was sympathetic to that, so he offered to read it to me."

"So, what are you going to do now?" Phoebe asked. "Avoid her for a while?"

Shaking his head, Chandler said, "No, of course not. I'm gonna go talk to her, but, I'm just going to let her know, that, at least for a while, we should focus on healing, before we think about anything else."

"I think that's a good idea," Ross agreed.

"I'm thinking about moving in with her," Rachel informed. "At least for a little while."

"Really?" Phoebe asked, looking between Ross and Rachel, Ross looking down at the ground.

"I think she's gonna need some help," Rachel explained. "I wasn't there for her before this happened, I'm sure as hell going to be there for her now."

"You don't get to blame yourself for this," Chandler told her. "That's my job, but I'm quitting it."

Phoebe smiled. "No more blaming yourself?"

"No more," Chandler affirmed. "And, Rachel, you won't need to move in with Monica."

"I won't?" she asked, curious. "Why not?"

"Because," he answered, "I am."

"What?" Joey asked, as did Phoebe and Rachel.

"What are you talking about?" Ross asked.

"Not like that," Chandler assured him, taking the leap that his friend was assuming it would be something romantic. "I'll move into Rachel's old room. I know my place is only across the hall, but to be a little closer, would be better. The closer the better," he added.

"You and Ross just moved in together," he continued. "You know she's gonna tell you no, if you offer to move in. She'll feel as though you're putting your life, or plans on hold, because of her. She may even say no to me, but I won't take it as an answer."

"Are you sure about this?" Ross asked, glancing at Rachel first.

"Very sure," he returned with a nod. "We need to work together, to get through this."

Ross looked back at Rachel to see what her reaction would be.

"If you think that's best," she said in response. "I just wanted to help."

"I know," Chandler said, pulling her into an embrace. "I'm not trying to take that away from you, but, I think this will be an easier transition, for both her and I."

"I think he's right," Phoebe interjected. "If you had read her note, you would agree," she added.

"Speaking of," Ross inquired, "Would it be possible for me to read it?"

"Me, too?" Rachel added timidly.

Chandler seemed to give their request thought before nodding, retrieving the letter from his pocket. "I'm gonna want it back, though," he told them, and they both agreed.

"I'm gonna go in and see her now," Chandler announced after handing the worn envelope to Ross. "I'll see you guys in a bit."

He took a deep breath and pseudo waved before turning to face the hall that led to her room, hearing all his friends wish him luck as he walked away.

--Staring at the door, he gathered his nerve before pushing into the room, immediately being met by Monica's gaze.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling just slightly. "I was beginning to wonder if I was going to see you again."

His expression changed to remorseful as he realized, the length of time it took him to get back to her caused her concern. "No, no," he assured her, "I was just, doing some thinking. And I ran into everyone in the hall. Of course I would be coming back."

She nodded, looking away. His bright blue eyes were just a reminder of what she had done, or tried to do. The way he looked at her, stark fear written all over his face as she stared back at him while on the ledge, ready to jump.

The cessation of sound between them seemed to last forever, though in her logical brain she knew he had only been in the room for about 90 seconds. Still, their inability to be in the other's presence unnerved her, and caused her to worry about their future together.

"Look, Monica, I read the letter," he finally said, breaking through the dense silence. "It was just- just, so-"

"Excuse me?" a voice interrupted, "But visiting hours are now over."

Chandler turned to see a nurse standing in the doorway, her expression and stance unyielding.

"I thought I had another two hours," he told the woman in white, tapping at his watch.

"Not on weekends," she returned, sounding annoyed.

With an exasperated sigh, he looked at Monica briefly before turning back to the nurse. "Look, can I have, like, five minutes?" he asked of her, only to get a sharp shaking of her head in response. "Two minutes then?" Again, she shook her head no. "One minute? Please, I'll make it fast! You can even time me," he added, pointing at his own watch.

"Fine," she grunted. "One minute. And I'm timing you!" she added as she held her watch up to view it.

"That's fine," he replied with as gracious a tone as he could muster, then waited for her to leave. When she didn't, he cleared his throat, his irritation coming through. "Can you do that out there?" he requested, pointing at the door.

"Fine," she said with a huff, then spun on her heal and marched out of the room.

"I guess I don't have long," he told Monica, "Till nurse Ratched comes back and shoos me away." Monica smiled at his little joke. "Look, I didn't want to do this all rushed, but to spare you from worrying all night, I'm just going to tell you this."

Stepping closer to her bedside, he carefully tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear in a loving gesture. "I think we have a lot of healing to do, and I think we need to focus on that first, before we make any life-altering decisions."

When she nodded, he continued. "I'm gonna move in with you." Before she could say anything, he hurried on. "And don't even bother saying no to me, cause I won't take no for an answer. I know I'm right across the hall, but that will seem like miles away, when you're in need of someone to talk to, and I don't want it to feel like that. Especially when you're in need."

"It'll be good," he added. "For both of us."

Just then the nurse reentered, clearing her throat to get Chandler's attention.

"I guess I have to go now," he said quietly, then leaned in close to her, smiling down on her. "I love you, Monica," he whispered, then lightly kissed her lips. "I'll be back tomorrow, ok?"

Tears lined her eyes as she wordlessly nodded, watching as he walked out of the room, looking back once at the door to smile and wave.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Ok, c'mon guys, let's see those reviews! If you don't review, I'll cry. To quote Monica: "Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?"

We have a saying in our house, and it is: "It all goes back to a 'Friends' quote."

It's true, too!

MTLBYAKY