The One Where Mercury Continues

Original story by: Ezika

Continued with permission. Thanks, Ezika!

Continuation by: Jana~

Chapter Ten

**********

--Placing a coaster on the coffee table, Monica set her cup of tea on top of it, settled back into the couch cushions, avoiding her husband's gaze.

"They weren't all exactly the same," she finally began, "But one recurred more than any other."

"Ok," he acknowledged her, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm in bed, and I look over, and you're not there. I call to you, but there's no answer. Suddenly, I feel something grab me. It's stronger than I am, and it's angry. It hates me. I scream your name, and beg you to save me, but, you don't come to my rescue."

"The thing drags me to this forest. It's very dark. Creepy. I'm exhausted from trying to fight, to get away, so I just stop trying. We reach this clearing, and I beg for my release, but it can't be reasoned with. I'm crying when I ask it, why it hates me. It just laughs at me. Then, it turns me around, ready to throw me into this dark pit, and I see-"

She stopped abruptly, debating whether or not to continue, when Chandler reached over and grasped her hand in support.

"You can tell me," he assured her, and she closed her eyes as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"The thing," she whispered, her eyes still closed, "Was you."

"The thing, the monster that threw you into the pit, was me?" he asked, stunned, and she nodded in response. "You could see that it was me?" he asked. "You could see my face?" Again, she nodded. "Why? Why was I doing that to you?"

"I don't know," she told him, slowly opening her eyes to look at him. "Dr Wagner said that, maybe, subconsciously, I thought you were mad at me, or should be mad at me, for doing what I did. For not allowing you to help me."

"I've never been mad at you," he stated firmly. "I know it wasn't your fault."

"I know," she said with a slight smile. "And, after a bit of therapy, the nightmares stopped. Because I realized that. It's just, at that time, you were still feeling guilt, because you couldn't 'save me', and I didn't want you to think my dreams had to do with that. That I saw you, even subconsciously, as the reason, or the final straw, for why I jumped."

He nodded in understanding of her rationale. "You said there were other dreams," he mentioned, reminding her. "What were they about?"

"Some were just, reliving it. Some had the thing, but it wasn't you. You were also there, trying to save me. Sometimes, it would take me to the forest and throw me into the pit, other times, it would throw me off the balcony. In some of them, it would throw you, too, or you would try to grab me, and fall with me. There were a few where you could see the thing, and you would try to reason with it. In others, only I could see it." With a sigh, she added, "Lots of variations on the same thing, basically."

"If it was me who was throwing you into the pit, why did you come to me and beg me to protect you from the nightmare?" he asked, somewhat confused. "You would think, that you would be afraid of me."

She shook her head. "I knew my dreams, my subconscious, was lying to me. I knew it was trying to take away the one thing I knew I could count on… you… and turn it against me, so I would feel lost again, and go back to that place."

"Why do you think, part of you didn't want to leave 'that place'?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "But I know whatever it was that wanted me there, is gone now."

Chandler pulled his wife into his arms. "I will fight it till the death, if it ever comes back and tries to take you from me."

Monica smiled, feeling safe in his arms, knowing for as long as he loved her, she would be safe from the demons that tried to swallow her whole.

***

--Chandler sorted through his belongings, making good on his promise to throw away at least some of his 'crap', as Monica called it. As he placed items in the box she marked just for him, he saw the letter, sitting atop all the other items, and with a shaky breath and a glance into the livingroom, he removed it from the box. Slowly, he opened it, that day coming back in a rush of emotion as he read the words contained within the pages.

THE LETTER

'Chandler, soon, my pain will be over, but I fear my death will cause you pain that you do not deserve. I just can't fight it anymore. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling like this. Tired of seeing no end in sight to this overwhelming sadness that consumes me.

You know how, if you're faced with a task that seems insurmountable, you just want to shut down? That's how I feel. It's not even about Richard breaking up with me, or the loss of the baby anymore. It's more than that. So much more. Too much more. More than any human should have to be faced with.

I tried to be strong. I tried to fight it, but it's no use. And I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for being so weak, and for hurting you. This isn't your fault, Chandler. You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't take advantage of me. I wanted to be with you, but, it was a mistake. I can see that now. I can't make a relationship work, not like this. I don't even know who I am anymore. How can I give you my heart, if my heart is this damaged?

I wish it could have been different. I wish I wasn't so lost and doomed. I know if I allowed myself, I could really fall for you. Why did I not see it before? Before my heart and soul was swallowed up?

You're asleep in my bed right now, and I want more than anything to forget this thing I'm about to do, and crawl in beside you, but I can't. As much as I want to be happy again, I know now, that will never happen.

Thank you for being there for me, Chandler. You are a true friend, in every sense of the word, and I will miss you. Please, never forget me, but don't grieve too long for me, and don't blame yourself for anything.

To my parents, I'm sorry I was such a disappointment to you. I don't know what I could have done differently, to make you proud of me, but I would have done it, if I had known what it was you wanted. I love you both, and I'm sorry for this final disappointment.

To Ross, you've been the best big brother a sister could ask for. You're not just my brother, but my friend, and I know this will be hard on you, but you have to be strong, ok? You have so much going on in your life, with your son, and with Rachel. Don't dwell on my death. Be there for them. They need you. And, some day, tell Ben about me?

To Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey, you all are great friends, and I'm sorry to do this to you guys. I hope you can understand, I'm just too tired to keep going like this. Rachel, don't lose it over my death, ok? Lean on Ross, he'll help you through it. Phoebe, if you're right about being able to come back as a ghost, look for me. Joey, look after Chandler for me please? He will blame himself for my death, I know he will, and it's not his fault. Convince him of that? Remember to mention me in your speech, when you win your first Oscar, ok?

I love you all.

Goodbye.'

*

--Chandler forced the tears that welled in his eyes not to fall as he folded the letter and placed it back in the box. Gaining his composure first, he stepped out into the livingroom, where his wife slept on the couch, and he knelt down beside her, stroking her hair gently.

Monica startled awake, looking over at him, "Has it been an hour already?" she asked, and he smiled.

"No," he answered, "And I'm sorry for waking you early, but I needed to touch you."

"Needed to?" she asked, confused. "Why?"

"I reread your note," he admitted, "And I just needed to be near you right now."

With a smile, she moved to sit up, and he helped her, then sat on the cushion next to her, his arm around her as he inched closer. "I have an idea," he told her softly, "But I don't want to upset you."

"You can tell me," she insisted.

"What do you think, about doing something symbolic with your letter?"

Unsure of what he was suggesting, she asked, "Like what?"

He shrugged. "Not sure. Burn it? Shred it and throw it off the balcony? I don't know, just, something that shows we're both moving past it. We are moving past it," he added, "Aren't we?"

Nodding against his shoulder, she whispered, "We are. Definitely."

After holding her tighter for a brief moment, he asked, "So, what do you think of my idea?"

"I think it's a good one. Maybe we should ask Phoebe," she added. "She's good with symbolism and such."

He muttered in agreement before moving to kiss her.

***

--"I have the perfect symbolic gesture," Phoebe announced excitedly, thrilled to be included in something so significant. "First we burn the letter, then, we bury the ashes! It's like, symbolizing the death of that dark time."

"A funeral for a suicide note?" Ross asked, skeptical, but Rachel nudged him. "I'm just saying," he muttered defensively, then returned his attention to his young daughter, Emma.

"I think it's a good idea," Rachel interjected, kissing Emma's head before sitting in Joey's lap; his arm immediately snaked around her waist.

"So do I," Joey added, resting his chin on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"You're just saying that cause Rachel said it," Ross complained, and Rachel glared back at him.

"Monica?" Chandler asked, "What do you think?"

"I like it." She whispered her response, as if speaking any louder would be somehow disrespectful of the importance to the plan.

Lightly, he grasped her hand, "I do, too," he admitted, his voice as quiet as hers. "When should we do it?" he asked the group, and all but Phoebe looked back at him with confused expressions. "You're going to do it with us," Chandler asked, "Right?"

Phoebe nodded right away, and soon Joey and Rachel followed, then they all looked over at Ross.

"Fine," he conceded, "But we should find a babysitter for Emma." He directed the statement at Rachel, who nodded.

"I'll ask my mom," Rachel added, frowning when Ross scoffed at her choice. "What?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied sarcastically. "I'll just make sure poison control is aware of the situation."

"Oh, Ross, would you chill!" Rachel shot back. "She only let her play with an empty prescription bottle that one time!"

"If it was empty," he challenged, "Then why did it rattle?"

"Oh, I don't know," Rachel returned snippily, "Maybe she put what's left of your pea-brain in there!"

"Oh, ha, ha," Ross grumbled. "Very funny. Look, I just don't think allowing a small child to play with medications or the containers they come in is a very smart thing to do-"

"If you had your way," she barked, "Emma would live in a bubble!"

"Oh, that is so not true! You just can't admit-"

Without saying a word, Joey helped Rachel off his lap, stood, and took Emma from Ross' arms.

"What are you doing?" Rachel finally asked, as she watched Joey head for the door.

Turning around to face her, he said, "I'm taking her across to our apartment, until the bickering stops. She shouldn't be around it," he added, scolding them both.

Ross and Rachel looked at one-another guiltily, then softly apologized to one-another.

"And you should apologize to your daughter," Joey stated firmly, holding the small child in his other arm so she could see her parents, and vice-versa.

"Sorry, Emma," they both muttered, and Rachel reached out to take her daughter from her boyfriend.

"And," he added, "You should apologize to Chandler and Monica! They're trying to do this deep, important thing for their relationship, and you guys just can't stop the bitching for five seconds!"

Both Ross and Rachel, in turn, apologized to Chandler and Monica, who smiled as they accepted.

"You don't have to apologize to me," Phoebe chimed in. "But you do need to figure out how to be in the same room without the constant squabbling. You have a child together, for crying out loud!" she added.

Hanging their heads, Rachel said softly, "We're working on it." Ross nodded along.

"Work harder," Phoebe told them, then turned back to Monica. "When do you want to have the funeral?"

"And, where would we have it?" Chandler asked.

"We'll have the ceremony here," Phoebe suggested, "Then head over to Central Park for the burial."

"Isn't that illegal?" Ross asked, and Phoebe looked back at him.

"Only if you get caught," she said, deadpan.

"How's tomorrow sound?" Monica asked the group, and slowly, after running their agendas through their heads first, they all nodded.

***

--There was a feeling that something important was accomplished, but melancholy faces were worn none-the-less, as the six friends entered the coffeehouse that was like their second home.

Not knowing exactly what to do or say, they all sat in silence, the only words muttered were their drink orders to Gunther. It was Monica who spoke up first, feeling as if the gang was waiting for her to lead the way.

"I feel a sense of closure."

Chandler gently squeezed his wife's hand supportively, nodding along.

"The vibe the letter carried was lifted, when we burned it," Phoebe explained. "It was respectful to the importance, but also showed our desire to leave it in the past, and move away from it."

"It seems like a hundred years ago, but also like it was yesterday," Joey stated, a comment that to anyone else, might have seemed stupid, or contradictory, but his close friends understood him perfectly.

"It seems like another lifetime," Rachel added, inching closer to Joey on the couch and entwining her fingers in his. "So much has happened."

Her thoughts immediately drifted to the fight that drove a wedge permanently between her and Ross. To the time they slept together as a belated 'bonus night' and created Emma. To when Joey declared his love for her, and the time it took her to get over the shock of that and discover her true feelings for him. To the way Ross reacted to the news that her and Joey were going to try to make a relationship work.

"So much has happened," she repeated, as if in a world of her own.

"You said that already," Ross informed, ignoring the glare she gave in return.

He knew he was nitpicking, when he did stuff like that to her, but he usually realized it after the fact. Deep down, he knew that 'Ross and Rachel' would never be, that too much was said and done to ever make that a possibility, but it was still hard to take at times. Especially when he was witness to the new love her and Joey shared. It was like that for them, so many years ago. A lifetime ago, as Rachel had put it.

Was he so petty that he couldn't be happy for his friends? He wanted to be happy for them, and, bottom line, he was happy for them, it was just his pride that got in the way at times, inducing comments that showed a side of him he was not at all proud of. It would take time, and effort, but he knew eventually, he would be able to be in the same room with them without feeling resentment.

"It's like we closed the book on that chapter of our lives," Chandler chimed in, "And the book before us is blank and ready to be written."

"Deep," Joey said with appreciation, receiving a smile from his best friend.

"And Pheebs," Chandler turned to her, "Thanks for doing that for us. And thanks to all of you," he said to the group, "For being there with us. It just wouldn't have been the same, without you guys."

The expressions that past amongst them said it all. Agreement, love, fierce loyalty and protection of the others… it went beyond mere friendship or simple blood relations.

"Here's your coffee, guys," Gunther said as he started handing the drinks over to them from off the heavy tray. "You guys are moving soon, right?" he asked, the question directed towards Chandler and Monica.

"Yeah," she said, accepting the decaf tea from him. "Next week."

He nodded, handing the last mug to Ross. "It won't be the same around here, with you guys not occupying this couch every day."

As he walked away, and the words sunk in, they all looked at one another with an understanding only a close-knit group like them could pick up on.

"Truer words were never spoken."

THE END

Well, that's it. I hope you liked it, and I hope I did justice to Ezika's original story. Now, remember, just because it's over doesn't mean you don't have to review! I mean, you don't have to review, but, I would be most appreciative if you did! So…

Please review!

MTLBYAKY