Title: I have the watch
Author: Trindajae
Email: YES PLEASE! Trindajae@yahoo.com
Rating: G, or if you have a really dirty mind you can make it PG.
Summary: Short poem from Trinity's POV and speaking to Neo
Status: Complete
Date: 11 July 2003
Update: 12 Nov 2003
I'm looking, searching seeking
Trying to find my other half
Something's missing, hurting
A hole
A family-shaped hole in my heart.
It is an old wound.
I can't remember a time when it wasn't there
Like a splinter in my mind
Driving me
Not mad, but into despair.
No hope
Too late
Too old to learn to love
No chance I'll learn to trust
To take down my walls and
Stand down my defenses.
The Oracle said it wasn't too late
In fact, she said it was early.
I didn't believe her.
I don't believe her.
I need logic, order
Rules in the world.
Psychic gifts fall outside those boundaries
No one can see the future
No one can give me that kind of hope.
I won't begin to dream again
Simply to watch my dreams fade away
Or so I thought.
Watching you, I feel myself start to fall
I have never fallen before and
I don't understand it now.
I can't fall in love with anyone.
I'm not that type of woman.
I'm not the type to get all emotional
I never cried at sappy movies
Preferring explosions to chick flicks
I do not baby-talk to puppies.
Then you came.
You didn't waltz in with flowers
You didn't try to play Prince Charming
You didn't even try to rescue
The damsel in distress.
In fact, you tried to hit me,
I wasn't unhooking you fast enough.
You treated me like an equal
Perhaps even a superior
Based on skill and not gender
You acknowledged my competence
And so I wasn't required to defend it.
I was allowed to show weakness.
When you died, my walls broke
My hard-won defenses came crashing down
The only thing of importance was you
My need to keep you here with me
My desire to no longer be alone
You came back
Kissed away the pain
Promised with your lips that
You would never leave me again.
That night you stayed with me,
Putting yourself between my back
And the cold metal of the bulkhead.
In your arms I felt safe,
So excruciatingly safe.
I had told myself that safety didn't matter
That I was strong enough
To take everything life threw at me,
To take it all and never flinch.
You told me with the pressure
Of your arms against mine that
You agreed.
You agreed that I was strong,
That I could suffer whatever I must,
Overcome the obstacles between me
And the completion of my mission.
You told me that you knew I could,
But that I didn't have to.
I didn't know if I was strong enough
To overcome my own defenses,
To drop my walls long enough
To let you in.
But you believed,
And I believed because of your belief.
But I'm scared.
I'm scared of losing control,
Of the control I have already lost.
No reins on my heart anymore,
It's going where it wants to,
I have no say in the matter.
But when you touch my face
You massage away the fear
And wordlessly tell me it will be all right,
That you would never try to hurt me.
This feeling reminds me
Of a time when I was small.
My mother took me to a funeral,
A soldier friend of hers had died.
One of the speakers stood up,
Young and handsome in his uniform.
He spoke of duty, honor and
The weight of responsibility,
Responsibility for other lives.
The speaker's words carried weight
Sounded right in my five-year-old ears.
He turned to the coffin covered in a flag and said,
"Rest easy, friend. I have the watch."
I have the watch for all humanity,
All people everywhere and not just one nation.
It is a heavy load
One I never thought to have relief from
Until you came.
You came and said you had the watch
You promised you would guard my sleep
So that I wouldn't have to.
I surprised myself by believing you.
I laid my head on your shoulder and slept,
Secure in the knowledge that you loved me.
So here I will rest and drop my guard,
Knowing full-well that I am not
Undefended in my moment of weakness,
That while my guard is down, yours is up.
You have my back and you have my love
Because you're willing to take the watch.
Author: Trindajae
Email: YES PLEASE! Trindajae@yahoo.com
Rating: G, or if you have a really dirty mind you can make it PG.
Summary: Short poem from Trinity's POV and speaking to Neo
Status: Complete
Date: 11 July 2003
Update: 12 Nov 2003
I'm looking, searching seeking
Trying to find my other half
Something's missing, hurting
A hole
A family-shaped hole in my heart.
It is an old wound.
I can't remember a time when it wasn't there
Like a splinter in my mind
Driving me
Not mad, but into despair.
No hope
Too late
Too old to learn to love
No chance I'll learn to trust
To take down my walls and
Stand down my defenses.
The Oracle said it wasn't too late
In fact, she said it was early.
I didn't believe her.
I don't believe her.
I need logic, order
Rules in the world.
Psychic gifts fall outside those boundaries
No one can see the future
No one can give me that kind of hope.
I won't begin to dream again
Simply to watch my dreams fade away
Or so I thought.
Watching you, I feel myself start to fall
I have never fallen before and
I don't understand it now.
I can't fall in love with anyone.
I'm not that type of woman.
I'm not the type to get all emotional
I never cried at sappy movies
Preferring explosions to chick flicks
I do not baby-talk to puppies.
Then you came.
You didn't waltz in with flowers
You didn't try to play Prince Charming
You didn't even try to rescue
The damsel in distress.
In fact, you tried to hit me,
I wasn't unhooking you fast enough.
You treated me like an equal
Perhaps even a superior
Based on skill and not gender
You acknowledged my competence
And so I wasn't required to defend it.
I was allowed to show weakness.
When you died, my walls broke
My hard-won defenses came crashing down
The only thing of importance was you
My need to keep you here with me
My desire to no longer be alone
You came back
Kissed away the pain
Promised with your lips that
You would never leave me again.
That night you stayed with me,
Putting yourself between my back
And the cold metal of the bulkhead.
In your arms I felt safe,
So excruciatingly safe.
I had told myself that safety didn't matter
That I was strong enough
To take everything life threw at me,
To take it all and never flinch.
You told me with the pressure
Of your arms against mine that
You agreed.
You agreed that I was strong,
That I could suffer whatever I must,
Overcome the obstacles between me
And the completion of my mission.
You told me that you knew I could,
But that I didn't have to.
I didn't know if I was strong enough
To overcome my own defenses,
To drop my walls long enough
To let you in.
But you believed,
And I believed because of your belief.
But I'm scared.
I'm scared of losing control,
Of the control I have already lost.
No reins on my heart anymore,
It's going where it wants to,
I have no say in the matter.
But when you touch my face
You massage away the fear
And wordlessly tell me it will be all right,
That you would never try to hurt me.
This feeling reminds me
Of a time when I was small.
My mother took me to a funeral,
A soldier friend of hers had died.
One of the speakers stood up,
Young and handsome in his uniform.
He spoke of duty, honor and
The weight of responsibility,
Responsibility for other lives.
The speaker's words carried weight
Sounded right in my five-year-old ears.
He turned to the coffin covered in a flag and said,
"Rest easy, friend. I have the watch."
I have the watch for all humanity,
All people everywhere and not just one nation.
It is a heavy load
One I never thought to have relief from
Until you came.
You came and said you had the watch
You promised you would guard my sleep
So that I wouldn't have to.
I surprised myself by believing you.
I laid my head on your shoulder and slept,
Secure in the knowledge that you loved me.
So here I will rest and drop my guard,
Knowing full-well that I am not
Undefended in my moment of weakness,
That while my guard is down, yours is up.
You have my back and you have my love
Because you're willing to take the watch.