Hi! I just arrived from seeing Matrix: Revolution. I seriously recommend it for the ones that hadn't seen it. I will not delay you more, thank-you for reviewing (review responses at the end). And I'm very, very, but very sorry for the short chapter, but I decided to cut it so it would be more interesting.
To Save
Clouds surrounded the plain, the grass covered with crimson blood, an evil laugh in the air two men standing side by side with the little force left in them, Bankotsu and Jakotsu. In front of them was Naraku, laughing evilly at them.
"I now need my shards back and I fear you have four of them (A.N. two of Jakotsu and Bankotsu and the other two from other Shichinitai), prepare to return to the world you are meant to be."
"Never!" Bankotsu shouted with all his courage, holding the broken Bakurui in front of him, Jakotsu at his side. "I don't want you to follow me this time, Jakotsu." Bankotsu said in a whisper, only heard by Jakotsu.
He turned to Bankotsu who had a smile on his lips, his gaze on Naraku, not taking it off for a second. "What you mean, my dear? (A.N. I'm not sure if he calls him that, but in this story he does, remember, he is gay).
"Just, don't follow me this time."
It was when Jakotsu realized what he was talking about. "I will always follow you."
"It is not a comment, it is an order from your leader."
Before Jakotsu could say something, Naraku launched towards him, his claws ready to slash him in half. It was all too fast for Jakotsu to react. The claws of Naraku crossed flesh and blood, after that sensation, he jumped backwards, meters away. Jakotsu opened his eyes to see Bankotsu falling towards him, he caught him and gazed to his eyes, who were losing brightness.
"Ban...ko...tsu..Why?" trying to hold back the tears.
Bankotsu stared up to him, his eyes holding an emotion of gratitude. "We are brothers, and I am your leader, it is my obligation to protect you at all times, we were a duo."
"We are."
Bankotsu barely neglected with his head. "No, not more. Just promise me you will make again a duo, escape from here as soon as you can. Promise it to me if you want me to rest in peace."
With hestation, "I will, I promise you, my love, leader."
Bankotsu smiled a bit more, his eyes closed slowly and all his body went free. Jakotsu placed Bankotsu lightly on the ground at a side of him and as he stood up, he was kicked on his back and send flying to the cold ground tainted with blood. Jakotsu was already in bad conditions, mortal conditions, and with this kick he was in the verge of death and life. "I fear I will not be able to fulfill your promise, but at least I will be with you, brother." Jakotsu thought as he felt all his power go like sand through the fingers.
Naraku advanced towards Bankotsu's body and took his shard from his neck, a light went out of Bankotsu's body (A.N. His soul) and now his body was left in void. Naraku then turned to Jakotsu who was trying to stand up. Naraku laughed evilly as he placed the shard inside his pelt. Jakotsu stood and turned towards Naraku, barely able to stand, breathing heavily and all his body and soul aching. It was when a pink light surrounded Naraku and he evaporated with the light, living a wood-broken golem on the ground and a dark-Shikon Shard at its side. Jakotsu gazed up, towards were the light had come. Then he saw a young maiden with long raven hair, dark eyes, wearing an unique kimono and holding a bow in her hands; it was when he recognized her. "Inuyasha's bitch, that damned bitch." with this spoke softly, he felt to the ground in unconsciousness. Kagome ran to her, not putting attention to the shard meters away.
"Jakotsu!"
^-^-^-^-^-^
It was kind of short, but just because it is the beginning. Things that didn't were explained in this chapter (like, what was Kagome doing there?) All of this kind of questions will be answered next chapter. Did you like it? Be honest, I really appreciate ideas/suggestions,etc. just don't be too rude.
Now, Review Responses:
Reiku Toukijin: Thanks for saying me, I just changed Jak to Jakotsu; I didn't realize that Jaken could also be Jak. Thanks for reviewing!
Forest Wolf: Thank-you!
Itadakimasu: Thank-you!
IsisTheEgyptianGoddess: Don't worry about signing in (it takes a while) thanks for your review!
GSYH: Thank-you very much! I really appreciate you were very sincere, and I would take your suggestions. This suggestions will reflect from today through next week, thank-you very much, I promise I will make the prologue longer and also I will re-check this chapter. Again, thank-you very much and I also want to thank-you for not being rude. Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu! I hope you review, or if you prefer (and I think you would do) review when I re-do the prologue, just if you like to. And also thank-you for the suggestion of changing it to modern-world, but I sincerely don't like those kinds of fics (I don't hate them, in fact, I have read some). And about the Jakotsu/Kagome pairing with the problem that Jakotsu is gay, the problem will fix itself slowly as he realizes his feelings (in the first two or three chapters (or even more) he will hate Kagome and Sango, by the reason that he hates women), but later on, circumstances will make his point of view change little by little. Othe spelling, it is totally correct (the computer corrects it) and about the grammar, I'm afraid I'm not that good in it, but I will try my best, promise. Again, Thank-you for taking the time to help me out and reviewing, I hope I receive another review from you when all of this is fixed. Thank-you!!!
To Save
Clouds surrounded the plain, the grass covered with crimson blood, an evil laugh in the air two men standing side by side with the little force left in them, Bankotsu and Jakotsu. In front of them was Naraku, laughing evilly at them.
"I now need my shards back and I fear you have four of them (A.N. two of Jakotsu and Bankotsu and the other two from other Shichinitai), prepare to return to the world you are meant to be."
"Never!" Bankotsu shouted with all his courage, holding the broken Bakurui in front of him, Jakotsu at his side. "I don't want you to follow me this time, Jakotsu." Bankotsu said in a whisper, only heard by Jakotsu.
He turned to Bankotsu who had a smile on his lips, his gaze on Naraku, not taking it off for a second. "What you mean, my dear? (A.N. I'm not sure if he calls him that, but in this story he does, remember, he is gay).
"Just, don't follow me this time."
It was when Jakotsu realized what he was talking about. "I will always follow you."
"It is not a comment, it is an order from your leader."
Before Jakotsu could say something, Naraku launched towards him, his claws ready to slash him in half. It was all too fast for Jakotsu to react. The claws of Naraku crossed flesh and blood, after that sensation, he jumped backwards, meters away. Jakotsu opened his eyes to see Bankotsu falling towards him, he caught him and gazed to his eyes, who were losing brightness.
"Ban...ko...tsu..Why?" trying to hold back the tears.
Bankotsu stared up to him, his eyes holding an emotion of gratitude. "We are brothers, and I am your leader, it is my obligation to protect you at all times, we were a duo."
"We are."
Bankotsu barely neglected with his head. "No, not more. Just promise me you will make again a duo, escape from here as soon as you can. Promise it to me if you want me to rest in peace."
With hestation, "I will, I promise you, my love, leader."
Bankotsu smiled a bit more, his eyes closed slowly and all his body went free. Jakotsu placed Bankotsu lightly on the ground at a side of him and as he stood up, he was kicked on his back and send flying to the cold ground tainted with blood. Jakotsu was already in bad conditions, mortal conditions, and with this kick he was in the verge of death and life. "I fear I will not be able to fulfill your promise, but at least I will be with you, brother." Jakotsu thought as he felt all his power go like sand through the fingers.
Naraku advanced towards Bankotsu's body and took his shard from his neck, a light went out of Bankotsu's body (A.N. His soul) and now his body was left in void. Naraku then turned to Jakotsu who was trying to stand up. Naraku laughed evilly as he placed the shard inside his pelt. Jakotsu stood and turned towards Naraku, barely able to stand, breathing heavily and all his body and soul aching. It was when a pink light surrounded Naraku and he evaporated with the light, living a wood-broken golem on the ground and a dark-Shikon Shard at its side. Jakotsu gazed up, towards were the light had come. Then he saw a young maiden with long raven hair, dark eyes, wearing an unique kimono and holding a bow in her hands; it was when he recognized her. "Inuyasha's bitch, that damned bitch." with this spoke softly, he felt to the ground in unconsciousness. Kagome ran to her, not putting attention to the shard meters away.
"Jakotsu!"
^-^-^-^-^-^
It was kind of short, but just because it is the beginning. Things that didn't were explained in this chapter (like, what was Kagome doing there?) All of this kind of questions will be answered next chapter. Did you like it? Be honest, I really appreciate ideas/suggestions,etc. just don't be too rude.
Now, Review Responses:
Reiku Toukijin: Thanks for saying me, I just changed Jak to Jakotsu; I didn't realize that Jaken could also be Jak. Thanks for reviewing!
Forest Wolf: Thank-you!
Itadakimasu: Thank-you!
IsisTheEgyptianGoddess: Don't worry about signing in (it takes a while) thanks for your review!
GSYH: Thank-you very much! I really appreciate you were very sincere, and I would take your suggestions. This suggestions will reflect from today through next week, thank-you very much, I promise I will make the prologue longer and also I will re-check this chapter. Again, thank-you very much and I also want to thank-you for not being rude. Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu! I hope you review, or if you prefer (and I think you would do) review when I re-do the prologue, just if you like to. And also thank-you for the suggestion of changing it to modern-world, but I sincerely don't like those kinds of fics (I don't hate them, in fact, I have read some). And about the Jakotsu/Kagome pairing with the problem that Jakotsu is gay, the problem will fix itself slowly as he realizes his feelings (in the first two or three chapters (or even more) he will hate Kagome and Sango, by the reason that he hates women), but later on, circumstances will make his point of view change little by little. Othe spelling, it is totally correct (the computer corrects it) and about the grammar, I'm afraid I'm not that good in it, but I will try my best, promise. Again, Thank-you for taking the time to help me out and reviewing, I hope I receive another review from you when all of this is fixed. Thank-you!!!