Authors note- Hi! Here's chapter three, I hope you like it. It's going to
start getting more angsty so be prepared. This could become very dark
before the end. The language will get bad from here too so if you don't
like it don't read cause I see no point in using nonsense to cover up words
we all know. Due to computer issues, I've had trouble keeping my format so
sorry if it's hard to read this chapter. This should help though.
"" speaking
** Thoughts
Disclaimer- I don't own RW/YST nor do I claim to. I'm poor so don't sue me you won't get much.
To Lose Trust
Chapter four
The Hard Cold Truth
Touma looked up the stairs towards his bedroom. The heavy door was closed and it had been that way for nearly a week. Shin stayed in there, hid was more like it but nobody said a word as long as he made it down for meals. It had been nearly a week since they left the hospital and the water warrior had yet to even shower. Touma was worried so he paced. No one else seemed ready to do anything and that worried him even more. Sure, this tactic had worked with him, the source of his depression still illusive to even the warrior of trust, but it wasn't working on Shin.
" Touma, if you have so much extra energy why don't you go out and practice or something." Said Ryo coming out of the kitchen," Shuu's already out there practicing."
" How long are we going to let this go on Ryo?" asked Touma.
" He'll snap out of it eventually." Replied Ryo," I know this is hard Touma, it's killing all of us but what else can we do?"
" We could try to get him to talk." Replied Touma frustrated," We could all sit down and try to figure this out. Try to find out what happened to make him want to die."
" It worked with you."
" It wasn't the same." Replied Touma," I didn't really want to die. I didn't beg Shin to let me die. I didn't lash out at Seiji or refuse to be touched by anyone." Touma ran a long fingered hand though his hair," I didn't lock myself away either."
" I don't know." Replied Ryo," The problem is none of us know what to do."
" Well, I'm tired of just sitting here and doing nothing." Replied Touma finally making up his mind," Shin's going to get out of bed and take a shower."
*I can handle this, it can't be any different than before.*
Determined, Touma made his way up the stairs towards the room he shared with Shin. When he opened the door, it was dark in the room. Shin lay on the bed in a pair of blue sweatpants and a plain shirt. Making his way to the dresser he began getting out clean clothes for Shin along with a towel and washcloth.
" Shin, it's time to get up and get a shower." Said Touma firmly.
" Then you go take one."
" You need to get up Shin. Staying in bed isn't going to solve anything." Replied Touma," Either get up and go get a shower or I'll help you get up."
" Fuck you."
Touma took his armload into the bathroom across the hall and started the shower. As soon as it was warm he removed his socks to give himself better grip and headed back to his room with a grim face. He quickly made sure that the path to the bathroom was clear of breakables just as Seiji came up the stairs.
" What's going on Touma?" asked Seiji," Is Shin up and about now?"
" No, he will be in a few minutes." Replied Touma.
" Really?" asked Seiji slightly stunned.
" Yes, do me a favor and have the first aid kit ready." Replied Touma entering his room.
Inside the room, Shin had pulled his blankets up over his face to block out the bright overhead light. The thin scars running up his arms shone brightly against his tanned skin when he threw his arm over the blanket covering his face. Touma shook his head, grabbed the blanket, and pulled it off Shin.
" I'm warning you right now Shin." Said Touma gently," I will make you get up if you should choose not to get up on your own."
" Fuck you, Touma, just leave me alone." Came the muffled reply.
Touma reached down and grabbed Shin by the arm hauling the older man to his feet. At first Shin was too stunned to struggle, the shear surprise of being hauled out of bed by his friend staying any struggle he could put up. It didn't take long though. They were barely to the door when Shin reversed the hold and threw the first punch. Touma expected the move and the punch barely grazed his cheek but gave him a clean shot to grasp Shins other hand.
" Stop fighting me Shin." Said Touma softly.
" No, I said No." replied Shin.
Touma continued to struggle with Shin as they made their way to the bathroom, the smaller warrior used his strong legs to brace himself against Touma's wiry frame. Once inside, his socks slid easily making it easy for Touma to maneuver him to the large shower but as soon as the door closed behind them Shin redoubled his efforts, fighting as though possessed. Amazingly enough, he pulled his arms away from Touma and began throwing punches as though fighting for his life. The first punch landed squarely in the jaw with dizzying force while the second threatened to knock the breath out of him. With little time to think things through, Touma wrapped his arms around Shin pinning the water warriors arms to his body and walked them both into the running shower.
" Shin, calm down." Said Touma standing under the warm water with Shin," I'll let you go when you calm down."
" I said no." replied Shin still fighting against Touma's strong arms.
" Yes, you said no." replied Touma confused," I would never hurt you."
Shin began to relax into his chest," I said no." Shin began to tremble," I said no, Touma. I said no and they wouldn't stop and I couldn't move. They wouldn't stop Touma."
Realization was chased through his head by the fear of what Shin was saying. The shower, warm as it was seemed suddenly cold falling upon their heads. Shin's knees failed to continue to support his slight weight as the words tumbled from his lips like water and Touma slowly eased them down to the tiled floor.
" I think they put something in my drink. I couldn't make anyone hear me, the link stopped working and they wouldn't stop. I told them no Touma." Shin continued to cry in Touma's arms," Why wouldn't they stop Touma? Why?"
" Oh, god, Shin." Sobbed Touma," You could have told us."
" I. I was afraid Touma," cried Shin," I was so afraid that you wouldn't believe me, and," His eyes were so afraid it broke Touma's heart," I didn't want anyone to touch me, I was afraid they'd hurt me. I'm so dirty Touma and no matter how much I shower I don't feel clean."
" You're not dirty, Shin." Replied Touma wishing he hadn't used the shower to get him out of bed.
" After a couple of days everything went numb. It was like I couldn't feel anything anymore. It was an accident the first time." The words continued to tumble out and Touma did nothing to stop the flow," I was cutting stuff up for stew and it just happened. I felt it and knew that I could still feel. If I put my armor on after, they heal quickly. I haven't been able to stop. I'm scared Touma. I don't know what to do. "
" I'm going to help." Hushed Touma," We need to tell the others." He felt Shin stiffen," They'll believe you. If not I'll beat some sense into them."
" Why do you care?" yelled Shin throwing up his angry wall," Why the fuck do you have to care?"
" I care because you're my friend." *No, tell him idiot. Tell him!*" I just do Shin."
Shin started to struggle against Touma once more," You shouldn't! You shouldn't care because I'm just a piece of trash. Something that's been used and tossed aside."
"" speaking
** Thoughts
Disclaimer- I don't own RW/YST nor do I claim to. I'm poor so don't sue me you won't get much.
To Lose Trust
Chapter four
The Hard Cold Truth
Touma looked up the stairs towards his bedroom. The heavy door was closed and it had been that way for nearly a week. Shin stayed in there, hid was more like it but nobody said a word as long as he made it down for meals. It had been nearly a week since they left the hospital and the water warrior had yet to even shower. Touma was worried so he paced. No one else seemed ready to do anything and that worried him even more. Sure, this tactic had worked with him, the source of his depression still illusive to even the warrior of trust, but it wasn't working on Shin.
" Touma, if you have so much extra energy why don't you go out and practice or something." Said Ryo coming out of the kitchen," Shuu's already out there practicing."
" How long are we going to let this go on Ryo?" asked Touma.
" He'll snap out of it eventually." Replied Ryo," I know this is hard Touma, it's killing all of us but what else can we do?"
" We could try to get him to talk." Replied Touma frustrated," We could all sit down and try to figure this out. Try to find out what happened to make him want to die."
" It worked with you."
" It wasn't the same." Replied Touma," I didn't really want to die. I didn't beg Shin to let me die. I didn't lash out at Seiji or refuse to be touched by anyone." Touma ran a long fingered hand though his hair," I didn't lock myself away either."
" I don't know." Replied Ryo," The problem is none of us know what to do."
" Well, I'm tired of just sitting here and doing nothing." Replied Touma finally making up his mind," Shin's going to get out of bed and take a shower."
*I can handle this, it can't be any different than before.*
Determined, Touma made his way up the stairs towards the room he shared with Shin. When he opened the door, it was dark in the room. Shin lay on the bed in a pair of blue sweatpants and a plain shirt. Making his way to the dresser he began getting out clean clothes for Shin along with a towel and washcloth.
" Shin, it's time to get up and get a shower." Said Touma firmly.
" Then you go take one."
" You need to get up Shin. Staying in bed isn't going to solve anything." Replied Touma," Either get up and go get a shower or I'll help you get up."
" Fuck you."
Touma took his armload into the bathroom across the hall and started the shower. As soon as it was warm he removed his socks to give himself better grip and headed back to his room with a grim face. He quickly made sure that the path to the bathroom was clear of breakables just as Seiji came up the stairs.
" What's going on Touma?" asked Seiji," Is Shin up and about now?"
" No, he will be in a few minutes." Replied Touma.
" Really?" asked Seiji slightly stunned.
" Yes, do me a favor and have the first aid kit ready." Replied Touma entering his room.
Inside the room, Shin had pulled his blankets up over his face to block out the bright overhead light. The thin scars running up his arms shone brightly against his tanned skin when he threw his arm over the blanket covering his face. Touma shook his head, grabbed the blanket, and pulled it off Shin.
" I'm warning you right now Shin." Said Touma gently," I will make you get up if you should choose not to get up on your own."
" Fuck you, Touma, just leave me alone." Came the muffled reply.
Touma reached down and grabbed Shin by the arm hauling the older man to his feet. At first Shin was too stunned to struggle, the shear surprise of being hauled out of bed by his friend staying any struggle he could put up. It didn't take long though. They were barely to the door when Shin reversed the hold and threw the first punch. Touma expected the move and the punch barely grazed his cheek but gave him a clean shot to grasp Shins other hand.
" Stop fighting me Shin." Said Touma softly.
" No, I said No." replied Shin.
Touma continued to struggle with Shin as they made their way to the bathroom, the smaller warrior used his strong legs to brace himself against Touma's wiry frame. Once inside, his socks slid easily making it easy for Touma to maneuver him to the large shower but as soon as the door closed behind them Shin redoubled his efforts, fighting as though possessed. Amazingly enough, he pulled his arms away from Touma and began throwing punches as though fighting for his life. The first punch landed squarely in the jaw with dizzying force while the second threatened to knock the breath out of him. With little time to think things through, Touma wrapped his arms around Shin pinning the water warriors arms to his body and walked them both into the running shower.
" Shin, calm down." Said Touma standing under the warm water with Shin," I'll let you go when you calm down."
" I said no." replied Shin still fighting against Touma's strong arms.
" Yes, you said no." replied Touma confused," I would never hurt you."
Shin began to relax into his chest," I said no." Shin began to tremble," I said no, Touma. I said no and they wouldn't stop and I couldn't move. They wouldn't stop Touma."
Realization was chased through his head by the fear of what Shin was saying. The shower, warm as it was seemed suddenly cold falling upon their heads. Shin's knees failed to continue to support his slight weight as the words tumbled from his lips like water and Touma slowly eased them down to the tiled floor.
" I think they put something in my drink. I couldn't make anyone hear me, the link stopped working and they wouldn't stop. I told them no Touma." Shin continued to cry in Touma's arms," Why wouldn't they stop Touma? Why?"
" Oh, god, Shin." Sobbed Touma," You could have told us."
" I. I was afraid Touma," cried Shin," I was so afraid that you wouldn't believe me, and," His eyes were so afraid it broke Touma's heart," I didn't want anyone to touch me, I was afraid they'd hurt me. I'm so dirty Touma and no matter how much I shower I don't feel clean."
" You're not dirty, Shin." Replied Touma wishing he hadn't used the shower to get him out of bed.
" After a couple of days everything went numb. It was like I couldn't feel anything anymore. It was an accident the first time." The words continued to tumble out and Touma did nothing to stop the flow," I was cutting stuff up for stew and it just happened. I felt it and knew that I could still feel. If I put my armor on after, they heal quickly. I haven't been able to stop. I'm scared Touma. I don't know what to do. "
" I'm going to help." Hushed Touma," We need to tell the others." He felt Shin stiffen," They'll believe you. If not I'll beat some sense into them."
" Why do you care?" yelled Shin throwing up his angry wall," Why the fuck do you have to care?"
" I care because you're my friend." *No, tell him idiot. Tell him!*" I just do Shin."
Shin started to struggle against Touma once more," You shouldn't! You shouldn't care because I'm just a piece of trash. Something that's been used and tossed aside."