Disclaimer: Ahem, here is a list of people who own Kenshin. *pulls out list that has the names of Watsuki-sama, Sony, Kaoru... etc.* Please notice that I am not one of them. That is all.
Chapter Three
Himura blinked. "'Oro?'"
Walking beside him, Obaga nodded sagely. "'Oro' and 'de gozaru.' The first step in seeming like a harmless fool is appearing so polite and docile that your enemies will think you are avoiding battle because you are weak. Only the weak would sound as though they're begging for their life from the enemy de gozaru."
"In other words, be so polite that you sound like you're kissing-up to the enemy," the younger one summed up.
"More or less," he agreed. "It should at least bring down your intimidation factor."
"Odd. I always thought that by being as intimidating as possible you scared off your foes."
"Sometimes that will work. However, the rebels like the ones we faced earlier today are a prideful and tenacious bunch. Such men as those live for a challenge. The more intimidating you try to be to them, the more their egos will become determined to crush you."
As strange and as backwards as Nuhiro's theory first appeared to be to Himura, he was gradually finding it to make more sense as detail was added. He wasn't sure if this was encouraging or just plain… weird.
"Does it always work?" he asked.
"Unfortunately no," the samurai replied. "But then you should be able to understand that not everything about a certain technique works de gozaru. But even if the enemy still attacks you, there is a good chance they have already underestimated you because of your seemingly cowardice attitude towards them. That should help you in bring them down faster."
"But it still might not work."
"Just keep in mind, Himura-dono, that it is far better to beg for your life and avoid butt-whoop, than to not beg and have to butt-whoop them all."
Himura allowed himself a ghost of a smile. Obaga said a few entertaining things once in a while.
"Ah, we're here de gozaru." The two of them stopped in front of an open fabric shop and were greeted by the owner. "So what do you think, Himura-dono? Are you more of a orange gi man like me, or perhaps something different… I'm thinking pastels de gozaru…"
Then again, Obaga said some downright disturbing things as well.
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Two swordsmen stood across from one another, eyes locked in a judging stare, trying to perceive the other's first move. Tension turned the air thick and heavy and the gentle breeze warped into a dry wind as it passed. Frozen in a stand-still, one of the men, shorter and obviously younger than the other, tried to rationally converse the situation into a treaty.
Who knows what he was thinking.
"I am not wearing that," he stated sharply. His opponent cleared his throat and the younger bit back a long-suffering sigh. "…de gozaru yo."
"You agreed to the training."
"Hai. And I will train. Just not in… that."
"But Himura-dono…" Obaga held up a yellow and purple checkered gi that must've been sewn together by a blind man in order to even be rightfully existing. "Looking the part is half of the training in of itself de gozaru!" he finished.
"I'll look stupid!" Himura shouted in protest.
A pause.
"…Okay, so that was a bad example in this situation… de gozaru," he added after Nuhiro shot him an expectant frown. "But I thought we were just going for your average fool here! If I wear that, people will be think that I need someone to tie my shoes!" Nuhiro raised an eyebrow and cast a look down at the Battousai's sandals. The redhead sweat-dropped. "…Okay, so that was another bad example…"
"Maa maa, it's not that bad-looking, Himura-dono."
"Then you wear it."
"…"
"…Well?"
"…It's not that bad-looking Himura-dono."
"That's what I thought."
Nuhiro sighed tiredly before looking back up with narrowed eyes. "I will resort to drastic measures if you do not cooperate, Himura-dono. You do not want to see me desperate."
Himura slid back into the battojutsu stance. "Just try and make my day de gozaru," he said.
The samurai reached into the breast folds of his own gi, obviously ready to pull out something. "I didn't want to have to use this… however, you leave me no choice."
Himura slid further into his position as Obaga took a few steps of charge before hurtling the object at him. Reflexes activated, his sakabatou was flying before his senses identified what he was striking.
After this experience, that would never be a mistake he made again.
There was the sound of something ceramic breaking, yet the jug broke neatly in two, proof of the Battousai's excellent swordsmanship. The contents of the bottle however, were not solid enough to be split so nicely, and the gravity of momentum didn't keep them in their container.
Sake went everywhere. …Unfortunately, Himura was occupying most of that "everywhere."
Well that just figures, he mentally noted.
"Oh no! Nothing gets sake out!" Obaga sympathized, coming up behind him very suddenly. "Quick, we need to get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold."
"Sake is warm to begin with," Himura argued, struggling to dislodge Nuhiro's firm grip on his gi. "Besides, it's practically summer! You can't catch a cold when it's this hot out!"
"You're right, it is hot de gozaru! So take of your shirt and enjoy the cool air! Then you can change into this new spare gi as we wash this dirty one!"
Himura repeatedly banged the hilt of his sword against Nuhiro's head to no effect. "I told you, I'm NOT wearing that clown suit reject!!"
"You speech is too impolite de gozaru yo! It's all part of the training, Himura-dono!"
"In that case, exactly how thick is you skull de gozaru ka?!" the redhead yelled, more in reference to his assault having no effect rather than Obaga's stubbornness.
"Well how about I show you!"
In a swift motion that not even Himura predicted, Nuhiro head-butted the ex-hitokiri square in the jaw, sending his smaller form reeling back. Taking advantage of the opening, the older samurai tackled him to the ground and had his gi around his waist before the redhead was able to resist again.
"I'm not doing it!!!" he cried, trying to free his wrists that Nuhiro had pinned above his head. Being significantly smaller than most men could be a real bugger sometimes.
"Just cooperate! It's not as bad as it seems!"
"I still have a sharp-side to my blade and I'm not afraid to use it!!"
"As if you could de gozaru…"
"Let go of me you crazy old drunk!!" Himura cried angrily, managing to bite into Nuhiro's forearm. The man yelped in pain.
Frowning down at his pupil, Obaga yelled, "I told you don't want to see me when I'm desperate, Himura-dono! Now just be a good boy and TAKE IT OFF DE GOZARU!!!"
Himura had nothing to say to that. Nuhiro had nothing to add to that.
That's because it was right about this point that the two of them realized that they were still in public.
A small crowd had gathered at the commotion and was now staring at two men, one half naked and practically being straddled by the other in a… ahem, possibly suggestive position. It didn't help that they both had the smell of sake on them.
"Anou… It appears the situation has become compromised, Himura-dono. I suggest that we 'oro' at this point."
Funny how Himura's 'oro' sounded and felt much more like a Ryu Shou Sen.
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"I agree that it was quite an embarrassing situation de gozaru," Nuhiro said as the two men walked along the river mentioned in Chapter 2; only it was close to the evening now since Nuhiro had been out-cold for the past couple of hours. "Still, I don't think that was any good reason to make an attempt on my life, Himura-dono."
"Making anyone wear this hue-challenged shirt is good reason enough to take anyone's life," his companion muttered in return, and yes, he was wearing the infamous Gi of Optical Illusion. It was the only way to get Obaga off of his case.
"You don't think it makes you look unassuming?" Nuhiro asked.
"I think that if I didn't look gay before, I certainly do now."
"Ahem."
"…de gozaru," Himura grumbled. "…Do I have to practice that everywhere?"
"Of course! In fact, I even want you to start thinking with it de gozaru! And don't forget to 'oro' every now and then. 'Oro' is your all-purpose, butt-saving word in life, Himura-dono. Let it be your friend."
The Ishin Shinshi was unimpressed. "'Oro' huh."
"Just remember this. When in doubt, 'oro.'"
"Hm."
The two walked on in silence for a bit longer, each letting the facts sink in. Finally, after a moment, Himura looked up to his "master."
"Anou, Obaga-san…"
"Hai?"
"Where the heck are we going anyway?"
There was a screeching halt as bullets of sweat protruded from Nuhiro's brow.
"Er… I forgot de gozaru."
"Nani?!"
"We just started walking that I wasn't thinking of a place to go!"
"Well we'll need a place to spend the night. …Separately," Himura supplied.
"Sou de gozaru!" the samurai said, slapping his fist into the open palm of his other hand. "We were going to go to the training ground!"
A pair of violet eyes blinked. "You actually have a training ground?"
Nuhiro nodded vigorously. Striking a heroically dramatic pose, he pointed a finger off into the distance. "Yosh!" he cried enthusiastically. "TO THE BROTHEL!!"
…Be afraid, Himura. Be VERY afraid.
End of chapter three.
Author's Notes:
Wow, this chapter practically wrote itself. I was surprised with how quick I got it done. Of course, I was also in such a psyched up mood to get it posted that I didn't really do a proper spell/grammar check on this chapter. ...As if I did for the others...
Nope, no pink gi this time, but don't worry, it will make its appearance later in this fic. Until then, I'm just having fun dressing up Battousai-chan in whatever I want to.
Sou de gozaru- hopefully I used this right and it translates into something roughly like, "That right!" or "That's it!" That's what it's supposed to be anyway. ^^;
Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, minna!!! The reviews are overwhelmingly positive! (Which is a GREAT thing) I'm even noticing a few regulars in the commentaries. ^_^ Hehehe, a few I recognize from fanfics I've read! Thanks guys!
I don't know when or if I'll get to update again this week minna. If I don't, I've decided to do a "tentative Monday update" schedule since I can't update over the weekends and will thus be working on the story then. Well, until next chapter!