Disclaimer : JK owns it. Not me! I'm not making any money from this so just
leave me alone and go pester someone else!
NOTE : This fic will contain slash, that is male/male relationships. It will also have mature themes. It is rated R for a reason. Please don't send any flames. I do welcome constructive criticism as I want to make my fic the best it can be.
And so.on with the story (
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Chapter 1 : Back to Hogwarts
Harry sat quietly on his bed at 4 Privet Drive. It was the morning that he was to return to Hogwarts for his 6th year. And yet he found himself wishing for the first time that he could stay at the Dursley's.
All summer they had hardly shouted at Harry once. In fact they had completely ignored him. He was still made to do odd chores around the house but he did not mind. Anything to keep his mind occupied. When Harry was not doing chores he sat quietly in his room reading or finishing off homework.
Hedwig was allowed out of her cage some nights and so she no longer made so much noise. Harry liked the quietness. He liked to be alone.
He was still in Dudley's old spare bedroom but this year it felt more like a home. He had put up posters of the Chudley Cannons and his desk was full of books and letters. Ron and Hermione had sent him many letters over the summer. They were worried about Harry. They only received very short replies and Harry had also turned down an offer to go to the Burrow for the last 2 weeks of the holidays.
Harry hadn't seen his friends for the whole of the summer. He had made the journey to Diagon Alley by himself early in the holidays. Normally Harry would have gone with Hermione and Ron but this year was different. This year he didn't want to face them. He wanted to keep to himself. He wanted to be alone.
And he was alone. He had no family left now. No-one he could turn to. He had made sure of that. He still blamed himself for that fateful night at the ministry and he could not live with the guilt. He hated himself and he was sure that everyone else did too.
Hermione and Ron wouldn't be the same after what happened to them and Harry didn't know where to begin with all the trouble he had caused everyone else. Many times he had thought of giving up the fight and giving himself up to Voldemort. He even had a letter written that he had never got round to sending asking Voldemort to take him away and to end the fightning.
Other times Harry had tried to end the pain of losing Sirius by creating another sort of pain to divert his attention. His wrists were laden with scars and the memory of when everything got too much would always stay with him by the large scar that ran along his stomach.
He was ashamed of himself but he could not find any other way to deal with the pain he was feeling inside.
He didn't want to go back to Hogwarts because the memories he had tried so hard to repress would be brought back to the surface all too soon. Harry didn't want to have to share his grief with the rest of the Common Room. He wanted to be by himself, alone.
"Come on boy I don't want to be kept waiting. Move it!" Uncle Vernon's loud yell woke Harry from his daydream and he swept the last of his books into his trunk and began to carry it as best he could down the stairs. He would have to come back for Hedwig.
"Coming Uncle Vernon," sighed Harry.
He put his trunk in the boot and ran up the stairs to get Hedwig. He took one last look at his room, closed the door and set off down the stairs and back to Hogwarts.
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Please review and tell me what you think! I'm gonna have to do a few background chapters first before I can get to any relationship stuff but I hope that you like it. Oh yeah.I'm looking for a beta *grins*
NOTE : This fic will contain slash, that is male/male relationships. It will also have mature themes. It is rated R for a reason. Please don't send any flames. I do welcome constructive criticism as I want to make my fic the best it can be.
And so.on with the story (
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 1 : Back to Hogwarts
Harry sat quietly on his bed at 4 Privet Drive. It was the morning that he was to return to Hogwarts for his 6th year. And yet he found himself wishing for the first time that he could stay at the Dursley's.
All summer they had hardly shouted at Harry once. In fact they had completely ignored him. He was still made to do odd chores around the house but he did not mind. Anything to keep his mind occupied. When Harry was not doing chores he sat quietly in his room reading or finishing off homework.
Hedwig was allowed out of her cage some nights and so she no longer made so much noise. Harry liked the quietness. He liked to be alone.
He was still in Dudley's old spare bedroom but this year it felt more like a home. He had put up posters of the Chudley Cannons and his desk was full of books and letters. Ron and Hermione had sent him many letters over the summer. They were worried about Harry. They only received very short replies and Harry had also turned down an offer to go to the Burrow for the last 2 weeks of the holidays.
Harry hadn't seen his friends for the whole of the summer. He had made the journey to Diagon Alley by himself early in the holidays. Normally Harry would have gone with Hermione and Ron but this year was different. This year he didn't want to face them. He wanted to keep to himself. He wanted to be alone.
And he was alone. He had no family left now. No-one he could turn to. He had made sure of that. He still blamed himself for that fateful night at the ministry and he could not live with the guilt. He hated himself and he was sure that everyone else did too.
Hermione and Ron wouldn't be the same after what happened to them and Harry didn't know where to begin with all the trouble he had caused everyone else. Many times he had thought of giving up the fight and giving himself up to Voldemort. He even had a letter written that he had never got round to sending asking Voldemort to take him away and to end the fightning.
Other times Harry had tried to end the pain of losing Sirius by creating another sort of pain to divert his attention. His wrists were laden with scars and the memory of when everything got too much would always stay with him by the large scar that ran along his stomach.
He was ashamed of himself but he could not find any other way to deal with the pain he was feeling inside.
He didn't want to go back to Hogwarts because the memories he had tried so hard to repress would be brought back to the surface all too soon. Harry didn't want to have to share his grief with the rest of the Common Room. He wanted to be by himself, alone.
"Come on boy I don't want to be kept waiting. Move it!" Uncle Vernon's loud yell woke Harry from his daydream and he swept the last of his books into his trunk and began to carry it as best he could down the stairs. He would have to come back for Hedwig.
"Coming Uncle Vernon," sighed Harry.
He put his trunk in the boot and ran up the stairs to get Hedwig. He took one last look at his room, closed the door and set off down the stairs and back to Hogwarts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Please review and tell me what you think! I'm gonna have to do a few background chapters first before I can get to any relationship stuff but I hope that you like it. Oh yeah.I'm looking for a beta *grins*