Summary: Plans fall apart.
7th in the "Cold Summer Series"
*~*~*
"porque eres tu mi sol
la fe con que vivo
la potencia de mi voz
los pies con que camino
eres tu amor
mis ganas de reir
el adios que no sabre decir
porque nunca podre vivir sin ti"
~translation~
"because you are my sun
the faith that I live with
the power of my voice
the feet that I walk with
you are my love
my desires of laughing
the goodbye that I won't know how to say
because I won't be able to live without you"
~Shakira
*~*~*
Chandra tucked Faith into bed and smoothed her hair. She looked so peaceful. Chandra sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her hands. She should have been there sooner. She tried to warn Faith about the Blue Devil.
Angel leaned on the doorframe. "You okay?"
She glanced over at him. "Fine."
He looked at his feet. "I told Buffy I'd go talk to her for a while."
Chandra stood and went to him quickly. "That's not Buffy! Don't you see that? Look, open your eyes. She took Faith there. She had it all down. If it wasn't for Cordy they would have taken Faith out. You know it. It makes sense! Just think about it." She sighed. "Look, I was starting to believe her too. But this is just too much. I saw the Blue Devil in my dream!"
He scowled. "You saw Buffy fighting Darla."
"So?" She punched him. "There. I just hit you. But I'm still on your side."
He growled and rubbed his jaw. "Sometimes I wonder." He grabbed his coat. "I'll be back later."
*~*~*
The Summers' home was quiet. Dawn had gone to bed early. The others were still downstairs, but it didn't matter. Buffy sat on her bed in an oversized t-shirt and watched the door.
"Waiting for someone?"
She gasped and jumped, turning to the window where Angel was. "Angel!"
He smiled and stepped up to her. "Sorry."
She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's okay." She licked her dry lips and looked into his eyes. "Tonight… seeing Darla and Drusilla… and what they did to Faith… it made me realize."
His hands went to her hips as he swallowed. "Realize?"
"That life is so dangerous."
"Dying didn't tell you that?" He smiled.
She smiled back. "Well that too. But I mean… I don't want to waste a moment." She looked into his eyes. "I want to be with you."
He blinked. "With me?"
*~*~*
Cordelia and Xander sat in the living room and tried not to look at each other. They had heard about what happened to Faith. Giles and Wesley were still in the kitchen. But neither Cordy nor Xander could focus. The kiss was lingering. The feelings were lingering. Those stolen moment in a janitor's closet. Those glances now and then across a crowded room… All the memories seemed to leave the two wondering.
Willow walked in holding Tara's hand, making Xander jump up out of his seat. "Willow! Tara! Hi there! What's up? Nothing here! Just talking to Cordelia. Yup. That's all." He gave a goofy grin.
Cordelia rolled her eyes then looked to Willow and Tara. "Any word on how Faith is?"
Willow gave a curious look to Xander. "Nothing yet. Are you guys okay?"
"Fine!" Xander rushed. "Why wouldn't we be?"
Cordelia grumbled and stood. "Buffy went to bed already. I think it's best we all just try to get some sleep for now."
Tara swallowed. "Wh-what about that D-Darla?"
Cordelia smiled. She liked Tara's timidness. "She won't be able to get in unless we invite her. And I SO am not inviting her in."
Willow nodded. "Xander, could you give us a ride home?"
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sure! I have to pick up Anya anyway. Anya who I love."
The girls gave him an odd look before leaving.
*~*~*
Spike groaned as he opened his eyes. He remembered leaving the Magic Box and heading to Buffy's, but he never made it. The dull throbbing in his head let him know that he had been hit. His site was still blurry but he could make out a motel room that he was in. He tried to bring a hand to his head but found that he was bound to a chair. When his eyes focused, he noted Darla sleeping on the bed in front of him.
"Hey bitch, wake up."
Darla growled but kept her eyes closed. "I am awake, prick."
He smiled. "Wanted to get me here for a little bondage, baby?"
She grinned and looked to him. "Hardly. I was going to stake you, but then Drusilla would have been whining for years." She curled up with her pillow.
Spike looked around the room. "Where are we?"
She closed her eyes. "In a motel. Waiting for Angelus." She smiled. "Shouldn't be long now."
*~*~*
Angel pulled back and looked down at Buffy who was now laying back on the bed, him hovering over her, her lips swollen from their kisses. "Buffy…" he breathed. "We can't do this."
"Of course we can. I love you."
"Buffy, I can't… I'll become him. You know that."
She ran her fingers through his hair. "If it means we can be together, then fine."
He shot back as if he'd been burned. "What? Buffy, how can you say that?"
She sat up and slipped her shirt off. "I want to make love to you. I want to be with you. There's always a price for everything. But hey, we all pay at one time or another."
He swallowed as his eyes scanned her bare skin. "I pay everyday. And I can't do this. You know that I won't."
"Oh, but you'll fuck a whore like Chandra?"
He took another step back. "She is not a whore."
"She's just like Faith. Get some and get gone. She doesn't care about anything but herself." She stood and walked to him in just her panties. "I love you."
He looked down into her eyes. "If you really loved me you wouldn't do this. You'd know that it was wrong."
She scowled. "What's wrong is what we are denied. But we can have that, Angel. We can have it all. Just like when we took that gypsy girl right in front of the fireplace." She stopped and gasped.
He narrowed his eyes. "Darla?" He stepped back.
Buffy grabbed her shirt and put it on. "Of course not! Jesus Angel, way to make a girl feel loved. Call her by your ex's name."
Angel was cut off by Anya and Willow bursting in through the bedroom door and tossing a handful of powder onto Buffy. The powder absorbed into her skin quickly and Buffy screamed as if she was being burned from the inside out. Which looked almost literal at the moment. She dropped to the floor and writhed around until she started to melt into a pile of goo.
Angel looked at the blob on the floor in disbelief. "What the hell is going on?"
Anya pointed. "That's not Buffy."
Willow stepped to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Spike came to the Magic Box and told Anya that Darla was bringing Buffy back to get you to Angelus."
Angel swallowed. "She… she didn't come back…"
"It was just what Darla brought back." Anya looked to him sympathetically.
"The powder," Willow explained, "was meant to reveal the unseen. To show you what was really going on."
Angel tore his eyes from the scene and shoved his way downstairs and outside.
*~*~*
Drusilla burst into the motel room. "No!"
Darla sat up and looked around. "What? What's happened?"
Dru started crying. "No more little blonde to bring back my Daddy." She went to Darla and laid her head in her lap.
Darla scowled. "Shit. How did they…" She turned to Spike. "You."
He looked about the room, whistling innocently.
*~*~*
Cordelia and Xander sat out in the car, waiting for the others who were inside. She tapped her nails on the dash and sighed. "Way to be Mr. Suave."
He gripped the steering wheel. "I panicked!"
"You think?" She turned to him. "Look, you can't get all stumbly words and stuff. You have to keep your cool."
"Maybe we should talk about this then."
"Talk about what? We kissed. That's all."
"So that was enough for you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… Some small part of me still misses you."
She smiled warmly. "I miss you too. But we tried the together thing."
"And it was great until I panicked and you saw me kiss Will."
She looked down. "It hurt."
"I know. And I'm sorry. I was just afraid that we were going to die. And you weren't there. I just… did something stupid. I never got to find out how good it really would have been to stay with you."
She nodded. "I just… I wanted you just to be mine."
"I'm here now with you."
"Xander, you're with Anya."
He looked out the windshield. "I still care about you, Cordelia."
She sat with this for a little bit, watching him, looking him over. He was so much more mature now. He carried himself differently. She had heard about him going into construction. It had done wonders for his body and his attitude. She traced a hand down his chest. It had been so long since she'd touched him. She swallowed. "What happened to us, Xander? When did we grow up?"
He took her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I don't know."
She couldn't help but think about him and Anya, but she also wanted to know about what could have been. She had just given up on him. But what if...
Xander smiled to her. "You're really beautiful."
She looked to him. "Make love to me."
He did a double take. "What?"
She unfastened her seatbelt. "I care too. And I want to share with you what I wasn't willing to. Let's do this."
He swallowed and slowly leaned over his seat and pulled her close, kissing her deeply, the memories coming back to him. They were the memories of high school fumbling and innocent touches. But they had never made love. They had never gone that far in their intimacy. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had always wondered why. They had both been willing, but it just never happened.
Cordelia held him close and kissed him back, her own mind wandering to their previous passion and how she never felt fully satisfied with the outcome.
Xander slipped a hand up her halter-top and relished the feel of her warm skin on his fingers as he cupped her breast. She moaned against his lips and shifted so that she fell down in the seat a little more, pulling him more on top of her. He followed willingly and lifted her top to kiss down her neck and chest.
*~*~*
Willow and Anya sat on opposite sides of Dawn. The screams had woken her, but even awake, it was still a nightmare. Buffy hadn't come back for her or to help.
"How... how could this happen?" Dawn cried against Willow's shoulder. "I've lost her again?"
"Shh," Willow soothed. "Don't think like that."
"What am I supposed to think then?"
Willow looked to Anya who only shrugged.
*~*~*
Tara poured the tea water and brought the cups to Giles and Wesley. "Where are Gunn and Fred?"
Wesley sipped his tea. "Winifred accompanied Gunn back to LA. There was a problem there they needed to take care of."
Giles stared into his tea. Silent.
Tara reached out and touched his hand. "You couldn't have known."
He looked up to her sadly. "I should have. She was my charge, my friend. I should have known if something was different." He took his hand away and stood. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later."
*~*~*
Chandra looked up as the motel room door opened. "Angel?" She stood and went to him as he shrugged off his coat silently and hung it up. "Angel, what's wrong?" She put her hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her. "Tell me!" She gasped when she saw the sadness in his eyes. "Angel?"
He broke down and pulled her close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted you."
She rubbed his back. "Hey, what happened?"
He nuzzled her neck and cried on her shoulder, finally letting loose everything he had felt since Buffy's first death. She stayed calm and soothed him as best she could, saying calming words and holding him close, knowing that it would take a lot for this man to show his emotions so raw.
She sat him down in a chair and fetched a mug of blood for him. "Drink this. Calm down. Tell me what happened. In that order."
He took a drink and did start to calm. "Buffy. She's gone."
"Gone? You mean she ran?"
"No. Willow made a powder to show the unseen. It dissolved her."
She sat down. "Whoa, so she's…"
"A puddle." He took another drink. "Got anything alcohol?"
She nodded and went to the mini-fridge, pulling out a bottle of tequila and handed it top him. "I'm sorry. Being right ain't always all that."
He poured some tequila into the blood and drank it. "I should have known." He looked again at the mug then set it aside, drinking straight from the bottle instead.
Chandra looked down. "We… we need to focus here."
"Why? We're bringing about the end of the world with our bastard child." He took another drink.
She stood. "Angel! How can you… I mean why…" She trailed off and grabbed her coat. "Fine then, fuck off." There were tears in her eyes but nothing but hardness in her voice. "I'll take care of this myself." She slammed the door as she left, leaving Angle alone with a comatose Faith.
*~*~*
Giles didn't walk far. Really, he just sat on the porch for a few moments. Then he noticed the car parked in front of the house with the steamed up windows. Curious, he stood and strolled over to get a better look. By the way the car was rocking he figured it was just some young couple.
In Xander's car?
While Anya was in the house?
He tapped on the windshield.
*~*~*
Somehow they had ended up in the backseat naked. It just felt so right. Cordelia looked up at Xander and ran her fingers through his hair. Their lovemaking had been primitive. It was positively pure emotion and it had been wonderful.
He smiled and kissed her hand. "That was amazing. You're amazing." He kissed her softly and held her close.
She smiled. "Xander? Do you lo…" She trailed off when there was a knock on the windshield. Reality came crashing like cold water to the both of them, making them scramble into their clothes.
Once they were sufficiently covered, Xander opened the backdoor on his side and stepped out. "Giles!" he exclaimed.
Cordelia checked her image in the mirror before opening her side and getting out as well. "Giles! What's up?"
The watcher peered at them both. "What's going on?"
She raised a hand to silence Xander. "We were talking."
"Must have been a heated conversation."
"Must have." She kept a poker face that would have made anyone proud.
He scowled, looking annoyed. "I assume then, that you know about Buffy?"
Xander looked puzzled. "What about her?"
"She's gone."
Cordelia looked down. "Willow's powder must have worked. I'm sorry."
Giles nodded. "Anya and Willow are tending to Dawn. Wesley and Tara are in the kitchen. If you'd like to help, it would probably be a good idea to check on Chandra and Angel. He left here about forty minutes ago."
Xander nodded. "Okay." He paused. "How are you doing?"
Giles looked down. "I'll be fine."
*~*~*
"Bloody everlasting hell!" Spike screamed as Darla dropped some more holy water on him. "Cut that shit out!"
She smiled. "I'm having fun. Weren't you having fun Spike? Weren't you having fun when you ran off and told the little do-gooders about our plan?"
Drusilla stood back timidly and whimpered. "Please stop, Grandmummy. My Spike has learned his lesson. Please?"
Darla smiled. "Have you learned your lesson, Spike?"
He smiled back at her, undaunted. "Which lesson would that be?"
Dru shook her head. "Poor Spike…"
Darla giggled. "Poor indeed. All infatuated with trying to be good. Just face it. You used to be the 'Big Bad' and now you're trying to be good because you just aren't vampire enough to be bad."
He scowled at this. "I'm more vampire than you'll ever be."
She laughed. "You could never even make it to par."
*~*~*
Chandra was looking for Spike. At least he was honest with her. All of this was really starting to mess with her head. She started to wish she'd never seen Angel in the cemetery that day. Then none of this would have happened. Well, Darla probably would have still brought Buffy back but…
She sighed and stormed into Spike's crypt, a little disappointed that he wasn't there. She was about to just leave when she noticed something out of the ordinary. It was sitting plain as day in Spike's favorite chair. She went over and picked it up, turning it over in her hands. It was an old Victorian doll with a red tie blindfolding the eyes.
*~*~*
Angel sat with the tequila bottle and watched Faith. He knew that Chandra had been hurt by his words, but right now, he didn't care. He didn't give a damn about anything anymore. Not only had he lost Buffy once, but again. Right in front of his eyes. One moment he was holding the woman he loved and the next he was looking at a puddle on the floor. An image that Darla had brought back.
Darla.
His eyes narrowed at the thought of his sire returning. He had warned her, the next time he saw her, he would stake her. And he had meant it. Torturing him, burning him, messing with his head was one thing. Messing with the non-beating heart that was slowly ripping him apart was another.
Angel kept completely silent and listened to the calm of Faith's breathing, of her beating heart. He and Faith were both trying there hardest to walk the straight and narrow and look where it was getting them. She was in a coma and he had gone through Hell. Not just in the literal sense. It made him wonder if it was even all worth it anymore.
He stood and slowly made his way to the side of the bed where he sat and ran his fingers through her hair. This was the second coma for Faith. The first one brought on by Buffy stabbing her in the gut. He wondered what a coma was like. Were you just asleep? Did you know everything that was going on? Would you know if you were in danger?
An eerie feeling swept over him as his hand went to her throat. If he squeezed she would die. If he snapped her neck, she would die. And another slayer would come in her place. It would be as if nothing was wrong. A slayer with a short life was nothing new. Being killed by a vampire wasn't new either. Just a squeeze…
"Let go."
Angel obeyed and looked towards the voice that was talking to him. His eyes went wide. "What the hell are YOU doing here?"
Lorne stepped in the room. "The important thing here, Angelcakes is that you remember where you are. On the redemption road." He hung up a bright neon blue jacket and sat down, his beady red eyes narrowing on the vampire. "You wanna talk about it?"
"How did you get here?"
"I hitchhiked. Who cares? I'm here. Let's talk. Or do you want to sing?"
Angel glared. "Just leave." He stood and picked up the tequila again.
"Wish I could, but I got higher orders to be here."
"Oh really? Well maybe I really don't give a shit about the higher orders anymore."
"And why is that? Because you lost Buffy again?"
Angel closed his eyes tightly. "How did you know that?"
"Part of what I saw."
"Who did you read?"
"Not important." He scooted forward in his seat. "Angel, you have a future. You can help the mother of your child. You can keep her safe."
"So that our child can bring the end of the world? That's a swell plan." He took a swig from the bottle. "I'm sick of caring. It's not worth it anymore."
"Of course it is. It'll all work out in the end."
"Why?"
"Because in the end it doesn't even matter."
A song began to ring through Angel's mind. The first time he saw Chandra. "I had to fall, to lose it all but in the end, it doesn't even matter."
Angel opened his eyes. He was alone in the chair he had been in before with the tequila in his hand. He must have dosed off. Glancing at the bed where Faith lay, he noted the blankets hadn't moved at all. Lorne was nowhere to be seen.
He had been dreaming.
But the message was still clear. He was needed. And things would get better. Because at one point in time, all the pain goes away. But there was work to be done first.
It was time to bring Darla and Drusilla down for good.
7th in the "Cold Summer Series"
*~*~*
"porque eres tu mi sol
la fe con que vivo
la potencia de mi voz
los pies con que camino
eres tu amor
mis ganas de reir
el adios que no sabre decir
porque nunca podre vivir sin ti"
~translation~
"because you are my sun
the faith that I live with
the power of my voice
the feet that I walk with
you are my love
my desires of laughing
the goodbye that I won't know how to say
because I won't be able to live without you"
~Shakira
*~*~*
Chandra tucked Faith into bed and smoothed her hair. She looked so peaceful. Chandra sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her hands. She should have been there sooner. She tried to warn Faith about the Blue Devil.
Angel leaned on the doorframe. "You okay?"
She glanced over at him. "Fine."
He looked at his feet. "I told Buffy I'd go talk to her for a while."
Chandra stood and went to him quickly. "That's not Buffy! Don't you see that? Look, open your eyes. She took Faith there. She had it all down. If it wasn't for Cordy they would have taken Faith out. You know it. It makes sense! Just think about it." She sighed. "Look, I was starting to believe her too. But this is just too much. I saw the Blue Devil in my dream!"
He scowled. "You saw Buffy fighting Darla."
"So?" She punched him. "There. I just hit you. But I'm still on your side."
He growled and rubbed his jaw. "Sometimes I wonder." He grabbed his coat. "I'll be back later."
*~*~*
The Summers' home was quiet. Dawn had gone to bed early. The others were still downstairs, but it didn't matter. Buffy sat on her bed in an oversized t-shirt and watched the door.
"Waiting for someone?"
She gasped and jumped, turning to the window where Angel was. "Angel!"
He smiled and stepped up to her. "Sorry."
She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's okay." She licked her dry lips and looked into his eyes. "Tonight… seeing Darla and Drusilla… and what they did to Faith… it made me realize."
His hands went to her hips as he swallowed. "Realize?"
"That life is so dangerous."
"Dying didn't tell you that?" He smiled.
She smiled back. "Well that too. But I mean… I don't want to waste a moment." She looked into his eyes. "I want to be with you."
He blinked. "With me?"
*~*~*
Cordelia and Xander sat in the living room and tried not to look at each other. They had heard about what happened to Faith. Giles and Wesley were still in the kitchen. But neither Cordy nor Xander could focus. The kiss was lingering. The feelings were lingering. Those stolen moment in a janitor's closet. Those glances now and then across a crowded room… All the memories seemed to leave the two wondering.
Willow walked in holding Tara's hand, making Xander jump up out of his seat. "Willow! Tara! Hi there! What's up? Nothing here! Just talking to Cordelia. Yup. That's all." He gave a goofy grin.
Cordelia rolled her eyes then looked to Willow and Tara. "Any word on how Faith is?"
Willow gave a curious look to Xander. "Nothing yet. Are you guys okay?"
"Fine!" Xander rushed. "Why wouldn't we be?"
Cordelia grumbled and stood. "Buffy went to bed already. I think it's best we all just try to get some sleep for now."
Tara swallowed. "Wh-what about that D-Darla?"
Cordelia smiled. She liked Tara's timidness. "She won't be able to get in unless we invite her. And I SO am not inviting her in."
Willow nodded. "Xander, could you give us a ride home?"
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sure! I have to pick up Anya anyway. Anya who I love."
The girls gave him an odd look before leaving.
*~*~*
Spike groaned as he opened his eyes. He remembered leaving the Magic Box and heading to Buffy's, but he never made it. The dull throbbing in his head let him know that he had been hit. His site was still blurry but he could make out a motel room that he was in. He tried to bring a hand to his head but found that he was bound to a chair. When his eyes focused, he noted Darla sleeping on the bed in front of him.
"Hey bitch, wake up."
Darla growled but kept her eyes closed. "I am awake, prick."
He smiled. "Wanted to get me here for a little bondage, baby?"
She grinned and looked to him. "Hardly. I was going to stake you, but then Drusilla would have been whining for years." She curled up with her pillow.
Spike looked around the room. "Where are we?"
She closed her eyes. "In a motel. Waiting for Angelus." She smiled. "Shouldn't be long now."
*~*~*
Angel pulled back and looked down at Buffy who was now laying back on the bed, him hovering over her, her lips swollen from their kisses. "Buffy…" he breathed. "We can't do this."
"Of course we can. I love you."
"Buffy, I can't… I'll become him. You know that."
She ran her fingers through his hair. "If it means we can be together, then fine."
He shot back as if he'd been burned. "What? Buffy, how can you say that?"
She sat up and slipped her shirt off. "I want to make love to you. I want to be with you. There's always a price for everything. But hey, we all pay at one time or another."
He swallowed as his eyes scanned her bare skin. "I pay everyday. And I can't do this. You know that I won't."
"Oh, but you'll fuck a whore like Chandra?"
He took another step back. "She is not a whore."
"She's just like Faith. Get some and get gone. She doesn't care about anything but herself." She stood and walked to him in just her panties. "I love you."
He looked down into her eyes. "If you really loved me you wouldn't do this. You'd know that it was wrong."
She scowled. "What's wrong is what we are denied. But we can have that, Angel. We can have it all. Just like when we took that gypsy girl right in front of the fireplace." She stopped and gasped.
He narrowed his eyes. "Darla?" He stepped back.
Buffy grabbed her shirt and put it on. "Of course not! Jesus Angel, way to make a girl feel loved. Call her by your ex's name."
Angel was cut off by Anya and Willow bursting in through the bedroom door and tossing a handful of powder onto Buffy. The powder absorbed into her skin quickly and Buffy screamed as if she was being burned from the inside out. Which looked almost literal at the moment. She dropped to the floor and writhed around until she started to melt into a pile of goo.
Angel looked at the blob on the floor in disbelief. "What the hell is going on?"
Anya pointed. "That's not Buffy."
Willow stepped to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Spike came to the Magic Box and told Anya that Darla was bringing Buffy back to get you to Angelus."
Angel swallowed. "She… she didn't come back…"
"It was just what Darla brought back." Anya looked to him sympathetically.
"The powder," Willow explained, "was meant to reveal the unseen. To show you what was really going on."
Angel tore his eyes from the scene and shoved his way downstairs and outside.
*~*~*
Drusilla burst into the motel room. "No!"
Darla sat up and looked around. "What? What's happened?"
Dru started crying. "No more little blonde to bring back my Daddy." She went to Darla and laid her head in her lap.
Darla scowled. "Shit. How did they…" She turned to Spike. "You."
He looked about the room, whistling innocently.
*~*~*
Cordelia and Xander sat out in the car, waiting for the others who were inside. She tapped her nails on the dash and sighed. "Way to be Mr. Suave."
He gripped the steering wheel. "I panicked!"
"You think?" She turned to him. "Look, you can't get all stumbly words and stuff. You have to keep your cool."
"Maybe we should talk about this then."
"Talk about what? We kissed. That's all."
"So that was enough for you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… Some small part of me still misses you."
She smiled warmly. "I miss you too. But we tried the together thing."
"And it was great until I panicked and you saw me kiss Will."
She looked down. "It hurt."
"I know. And I'm sorry. I was just afraid that we were going to die. And you weren't there. I just… did something stupid. I never got to find out how good it really would have been to stay with you."
She nodded. "I just… I wanted you just to be mine."
"I'm here now with you."
"Xander, you're with Anya."
He looked out the windshield. "I still care about you, Cordelia."
She sat with this for a little bit, watching him, looking him over. He was so much more mature now. He carried himself differently. She had heard about him going into construction. It had done wonders for his body and his attitude. She traced a hand down his chest. It had been so long since she'd touched him. She swallowed. "What happened to us, Xander? When did we grow up?"
He took her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I don't know."
She couldn't help but think about him and Anya, but she also wanted to know about what could have been. She had just given up on him. But what if...
Xander smiled to her. "You're really beautiful."
She looked to him. "Make love to me."
He did a double take. "What?"
She unfastened her seatbelt. "I care too. And I want to share with you what I wasn't willing to. Let's do this."
He swallowed and slowly leaned over his seat and pulled her close, kissing her deeply, the memories coming back to him. They were the memories of high school fumbling and innocent touches. But they had never made love. They had never gone that far in their intimacy. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had always wondered why. They had both been willing, but it just never happened.
Cordelia held him close and kissed him back, her own mind wandering to their previous passion and how she never felt fully satisfied with the outcome.
Xander slipped a hand up her halter-top and relished the feel of her warm skin on his fingers as he cupped her breast. She moaned against his lips and shifted so that she fell down in the seat a little more, pulling him more on top of her. He followed willingly and lifted her top to kiss down her neck and chest.
*~*~*
Willow and Anya sat on opposite sides of Dawn. The screams had woken her, but even awake, it was still a nightmare. Buffy hadn't come back for her or to help.
"How... how could this happen?" Dawn cried against Willow's shoulder. "I've lost her again?"
"Shh," Willow soothed. "Don't think like that."
"What am I supposed to think then?"
Willow looked to Anya who only shrugged.
*~*~*
Tara poured the tea water and brought the cups to Giles and Wesley. "Where are Gunn and Fred?"
Wesley sipped his tea. "Winifred accompanied Gunn back to LA. There was a problem there they needed to take care of."
Giles stared into his tea. Silent.
Tara reached out and touched his hand. "You couldn't have known."
He looked up to her sadly. "I should have. She was my charge, my friend. I should have known if something was different." He took his hand away and stood. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later."
*~*~*
Chandra looked up as the motel room door opened. "Angel?" She stood and went to him as he shrugged off his coat silently and hung it up. "Angel, what's wrong?" She put her hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her. "Tell me!" She gasped when she saw the sadness in his eyes. "Angel?"
He broke down and pulled her close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted you."
She rubbed his back. "Hey, what happened?"
He nuzzled her neck and cried on her shoulder, finally letting loose everything he had felt since Buffy's first death. She stayed calm and soothed him as best she could, saying calming words and holding him close, knowing that it would take a lot for this man to show his emotions so raw.
She sat him down in a chair and fetched a mug of blood for him. "Drink this. Calm down. Tell me what happened. In that order."
He took a drink and did start to calm. "Buffy. She's gone."
"Gone? You mean she ran?"
"No. Willow made a powder to show the unseen. It dissolved her."
She sat down. "Whoa, so she's…"
"A puddle." He took another drink. "Got anything alcohol?"
She nodded and went to the mini-fridge, pulling out a bottle of tequila and handed it top him. "I'm sorry. Being right ain't always all that."
He poured some tequila into the blood and drank it. "I should have known." He looked again at the mug then set it aside, drinking straight from the bottle instead.
Chandra looked down. "We… we need to focus here."
"Why? We're bringing about the end of the world with our bastard child." He took another drink.
She stood. "Angel! How can you… I mean why…" She trailed off and grabbed her coat. "Fine then, fuck off." There were tears in her eyes but nothing but hardness in her voice. "I'll take care of this myself." She slammed the door as she left, leaving Angle alone with a comatose Faith.
*~*~*
Giles didn't walk far. Really, he just sat on the porch for a few moments. Then he noticed the car parked in front of the house with the steamed up windows. Curious, he stood and strolled over to get a better look. By the way the car was rocking he figured it was just some young couple.
In Xander's car?
While Anya was in the house?
He tapped on the windshield.
*~*~*
Somehow they had ended up in the backseat naked. It just felt so right. Cordelia looked up at Xander and ran her fingers through his hair. Their lovemaking had been primitive. It was positively pure emotion and it had been wonderful.
He smiled and kissed her hand. "That was amazing. You're amazing." He kissed her softly and held her close.
She smiled. "Xander? Do you lo…" She trailed off when there was a knock on the windshield. Reality came crashing like cold water to the both of them, making them scramble into their clothes.
Once they were sufficiently covered, Xander opened the backdoor on his side and stepped out. "Giles!" he exclaimed.
Cordelia checked her image in the mirror before opening her side and getting out as well. "Giles! What's up?"
The watcher peered at them both. "What's going on?"
She raised a hand to silence Xander. "We were talking."
"Must have been a heated conversation."
"Must have." She kept a poker face that would have made anyone proud.
He scowled, looking annoyed. "I assume then, that you know about Buffy?"
Xander looked puzzled. "What about her?"
"She's gone."
Cordelia looked down. "Willow's powder must have worked. I'm sorry."
Giles nodded. "Anya and Willow are tending to Dawn. Wesley and Tara are in the kitchen. If you'd like to help, it would probably be a good idea to check on Chandra and Angel. He left here about forty minutes ago."
Xander nodded. "Okay." He paused. "How are you doing?"
Giles looked down. "I'll be fine."
*~*~*
"Bloody everlasting hell!" Spike screamed as Darla dropped some more holy water on him. "Cut that shit out!"
She smiled. "I'm having fun. Weren't you having fun Spike? Weren't you having fun when you ran off and told the little do-gooders about our plan?"
Drusilla stood back timidly and whimpered. "Please stop, Grandmummy. My Spike has learned his lesson. Please?"
Darla smiled. "Have you learned your lesson, Spike?"
He smiled back at her, undaunted. "Which lesson would that be?"
Dru shook her head. "Poor Spike…"
Darla giggled. "Poor indeed. All infatuated with trying to be good. Just face it. You used to be the 'Big Bad' and now you're trying to be good because you just aren't vampire enough to be bad."
He scowled at this. "I'm more vampire than you'll ever be."
She laughed. "You could never even make it to par."
*~*~*
Chandra was looking for Spike. At least he was honest with her. All of this was really starting to mess with her head. She started to wish she'd never seen Angel in the cemetery that day. Then none of this would have happened. Well, Darla probably would have still brought Buffy back but…
She sighed and stormed into Spike's crypt, a little disappointed that he wasn't there. She was about to just leave when she noticed something out of the ordinary. It was sitting plain as day in Spike's favorite chair. She went over and picked it up, turning it over in her hands. It was an old Victorian doll with a red tie blindfolding the eyes.
*~*~*
Angel sat with the tequila bottle and watched Faith. He knew that Chandra had been hurt by his words, but right now, he didn't care. He didn't give a damn about anything anymore. Not only had he lost Buffy once, but again. Right in front of his eyes. One moment he was holding the woman he loved and the next he was looking at a puddle on the floor. An image that Darla had brought back.
Darla.
His eyes narrowed at the thought of his sire returning. He had warned her, the next time he saw her, he would stake her. And he had meant it. Torturing him, burning him, messing with his head was one thing. Messing with the non-beating heart that was slowly ripping him apart was another.
Angel kept completely silent and listened to the calm of Faith's breathing, of her beating heart. He and Faith were both trying there hardest to walk the straight and narrow and look where it was getting them. She was in a coma and he had gone through Hell. Not just in the literal sense. It made him wonder if it was even all worth it anymore.
He stood and slowly made his way to the side of the bed where he sat and ran his fingers through her hair. This was the second coma for Faith. The first one brought on by Buffy stabbing her in the gut. He wondered what a coma was like. Were you just asleep? Did you know everything that was going on? Would you know if you were in danger?
An eerie feeling swept over him as his hand went to her throat. If he squeezed she would die. If he snapped her neck, she would die. And another slayer would come in her place. It would be as if nothing was wrong. A slayer with a short life was nothing new. Being killed by a vampire wasn't new either. Just a squeeze…
"Let go."
Angel obeyed and looked towards the voice that was talking to him. His eyes went wide. "What the hell are YOU doing here?"
Lorne stepped in the room. "The important thing here, Angelcakes is that you remember where you are. On the redemption road." He hung up a bright neon blue jacket and sat down, his beady red eyes narrowing on the vampire. "You wanna talk about it?"
"How did you get here?"
"I hitchhiked. Who cares? I'm here. Let's talk. Or do you want to sing?"
Angel glared. "Just leave." He stood and picked up the tequila again.
"Wish I could, but I got higher orders to be here."
"Oh really? Well maybe I really don't give a shit about the higher orders anymore."
"And why is that? Because you lost Buffy again?"
Angel closed his eyes tightly. "How did you know that?"
"Part of what I saw."
"Who did you read?"
"Not important." He scooted forward in his seat. "Angel, you have a future. You can help the mother of your child. You can keep her safe."
"So that our child can bring the end of the world? That's a swell plan." He took a swig from the bottle. "I'm sick of caring. It's not worth it anymore."
"Of course it is. It'll all work out in the end."
"Why?"
"Because in the end it doesn't even matter."
A song began to ring through Angel's mind. The first time he saw Chandra. "I had to fall, to lose it all but in the end, it doesn't even matter."
Angel opened his eyes. He was alone in the chair he had been in before with the tequila in his hand. He must have dosed off. Glancing at the bed where Faith lay, he noted the blankets hadn't moved at all. Lorne was nowhere to be seen.
He had been dreaming.
But the message was still clear. He was needed. And things would get better. Because at one point in time, all the pain goes away. But there was work to be done first.
It was time to bring Darla and Drusilla down for good.