Lyrics: "Horses" by Tori Amos
*~*~*
Lilah looked at her watch and sighed, agitated. "Can we hurry this up? I have things to do."
The robed figures around the room made some tiny squealing noises. The translator in his fresh pressed suit nodded and turned to Lilah. "They say that the moon will be right in three months. No sooner. Only then will the alignment be perfect."
She grinned. "Enough time to let them think we've lost interest."
*~*~*
Angel looked upon the mother of his child as she slept. Her eyes were moving under her eyelids, once again signifying her dream state. She'd kept mostly to herself the last couple of weeks since the Locotorp demons left. Faith had slain the giant purple demon. It had taken almost a week just to clean that all up. Cordelia and Lindsey barely spoke two words to each other, but the glances they had been giving let onlookers know they were still attracted to each other. Faith and Gunn spent more time training and patrolling together. They were beginning to become almost best friends. After the incident with the Locotorp, Wesley decided to spend some quality time with Fred and took her to Texas to visit some family she had there.
Lindsey brought up a bowl of soup and a sandwich. "She needs to eat."
Angel grumbled.
Lindsey rolled his eyes. "Get over it already. You lost her." Chandra whimpered in her sleep. Gently, he set the tray of food by the bed and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Chandra? Baby, wake up."
She bolted up straight and gasped. "No!"
Lindsey wrapped his arms around her as Angel stepped forward to help. "Shh. It's okay. It was just a dream."
She held on to him and trembled.
*~*~*
Angel's POV
Seeing Chandra in Lindsey's arms stung. But for all the wrong reasons. It was because I didn't want Lindsey to have something innocent. I didn't think he deserved it. Chandra may have known him back in the day, but this was Lindsey McDonald. The man who lost a hand for the cause of Wolfram and Hart. This wasn't some laid back singer making his rounds in the lounge circuit.
No, I should have felt the sting because I loved her. But that's just the thing. I didn't love her. Not like I loved Buffy. It could never be like that.
I cleared my throat and Chandra looked over.
"Angel?" Her voice was soft and almost childlike. Then again, she was a child. Only eighteen years old I found out.
I swallowed and grinned. "Hey."
Her eyes, usually vibrant and full of life, looked upon me as if I was a shadow, something that wasn't really real. "I'm sorry if I bothered you." She buried her face into Lindsey's shoulder and tried to hide the tears I could smell.
I slammed the door as I walked back into the hall and sighed to myself. It was as if nothing I did was right anymore.
Cordelia was reading through a leather bound book as I approached her in the lobby. She glanced up and beamed her wide smile my way. I couldn't help but at least grin back.
"How's Chandra?" she asked.
My grin vanished. "Nightmares." I swallowed. "Lindsey's helping her."
She closed her book and set it aside. "Angel, you two have to move past all this stuff. I mean, it's been swell, you hating him and all, but the swelling's gone down now. People heal. And I think he's telling the truth about wanting to help us."
I looked at my feet, not wanting to look into her eyes when I knew she was right. "It's not like you're telepathic…"
She stood and crossed her arms. Obviously I had overstepped my bounds. It was almost like a game between us. I'd press and she'd press and soon we'd both give in.
"Then why don't you take him to see the Host?"
I looked up at her. "The Host." Yes, it made sense. It was logical to take Chandra to see the Host to find out about her child.
"The Host. You know, all green and beady-eyed. Horns and the whole gig?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I know who he is. We just got back from his dimension a couple of months ago. I was just thinking we should…"
"Oh!" she interrupted. "I know! We should take Chandra to see him!"
I grinned again. "Yeah."
*~*~*
Cordelia's POV
I was not going to sing. No way. I didn't have anything to hide, mind you. I just didn't feel like vocalizing. The whole share your pain thing didn't need to be done if there was no pain to be shared, right? Well, anyway, Angel insisted we go that night. Faith and Chandra had no clue what was going on. Really, I was curious to what Lorne would see if he read Faith. All that time in prison, probably not all happy thoughts.
I had to admit. The club looked great. Lorne really did have a woman's touch. And don't think I hadn't wondered about that.
We all went in single file military style: Angel, me, Lindsey, Chandra, Faith and Gunn. There was a table set aside for us towards the back. The place was packed. I'd have to remember to ask Lorne who does his advertising.
A round of drinks was placed before us, juice for the prego slayer and O positive for our vampy champ. I was fond of the martinis while Gunn and Faith held onto mugs of draft. Lindsey was drinking something I didn't recognize.
Faith looked around and narrowed her eyes. "We do know that demons are here, right?"
Gunn smiled and patted her thigh. "It's cool. This is a non-evil type place."
Lorne was on stage riling up the crowd with his rendition of We Are Family. Gunn and Lindsey bobbed their heads along while Faith and Chandra stayed in complete awe of it all. You'd think slayers would expect the wacky more.
Angel glance was focused on Chandra. Big surprise. He's trying to play all puppy dog with her and I think I'm going to go with the major hurls if he keeps it up. She's not Buffy and he should just accept it.
Faith took another drink and grinned. "Tell me again why we're here?"
Lindsey spoke up. "The Host, up on stage there, he can read auras."
"But only if you sing," I quipped.
Faith's face dropped. "Sing?" She looked to Angel. "You gotta be kidding me. This is what you were talking about that one time? The whole 'Mandy' thing?"
I cringed. "Can we not bring up Angel's singing?"
He scoffed. "Hey! What's wrong with my singing?"
"What's not?" I shot back. The rest of the table snickered as I raised my eyebrow.
Lorne finished his number and sauntered our way, grabbing a seabreeze along the way. "Angelcakes! Looks like a couple of new ones. Care to introduce me?"
"Faith, Chandra, this is Lorne, the Host. Lorne, this is Faith and Chandra. Slayers."
"Slayers? As in plural? I thought that there was only supposed to be a Chosen One?" He sat next to me and grinned. "You're sure glowing like a sunflower, Cordelia. How have you been?"
God, was it that obvious that I got some? "I'm good." I smiled and kept my eyes away from Lindsey.
Those damn little red eyes gave a wink. I wasn't fooling him. "Well then, kiddies, what can I help you with?"
Angel motioned to Chandra. "She's um…"
"Knocked up," Chandra finished. "I'm carrying Angel's baby."
The table went silent and Lorne's jaw dropped to the floor. "Well." He cleared his throat. "Care to pick a tune?" He reached out to another table and picked up a songbook. She sighed and began to look through.
Lindsey stretched, casually trying to brush by my thigh. It sent chills up my spine. I reached for my drink and took a large swallow. Okay, so maybe I still wanted the guy. Having someone beside me was wonderful. Someone who wanted me. And the sex…
"Cordelia?"
I snapped my head up to look at Angel. "Huh?"
"You okay? You look a little flushed." His concerned face had no clue that I was about to toss the lawyer boy up on the table and have at him.
"I'm fine. I just… I'll be right back." I quickly got up from the table and rushed to the ladies' room. Once there, I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. "It was a stupid spell," I told myself. "You can't want him."
"Want who?" Faith smiled as she slipped in the door. "Lindsey, right?"
I dried my face and sighed. "Faith, I'm really not in the mood to…"
"He wants you too. Why not just go for it?"
It wasn't something I wanted to think about and it most definitely wasn't something I wanted to talk about. "I don't want to talk about this."
She shrugged and went into a stall, talking while taking care of her business. "Not that it's any of my shit to deal with, but life is short and if you two want each other then why not go for it?"
"You're right." I opened the door and started to head out. "It's none of your shit to deal with." I stormed out and back to the table as Chandra was closing the book. "Ready to sing?" I smiled to her.
She nodded and stood.
*~*~*
Lindsey's POV
I could tell Chandra was nervous as she headed up to the stage. Back in Las Vegas she would always watch me on stage but never ventured up herself. Stage fright was a major problem. Her foster mother was a performer, not her.
The microphone gave a squeal as she stepped up to it. "H-Hi everyone." She cleared her throat as the music started. "I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. They say that your demons can't go there. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still."
Wow. Her voice was like that of a goddess. I watched in awe as the little girl I had seen as a kid sister became a woman as she sang her heart out.
"And maybe I'll find me a sailor or a tailor. And maybe together we'll make mother well. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still."
The rest of the bar had gone silent to watch this girl. We were all entranced by the sorrow in her song. Even if we weren't empathic, you could just sense the pain and torment. Or maybe it was because I knew her so well.
"Off with Superfly sniffing a Sharpie pen. Honey it's Bill and Ben. Off with Superfly counting your bees oh me. Honey like one two three. The camera is rolling. It's easy like one two three."
I looked to Angel and found him watching her as well. His look was hard to read. The bastard. She was hurting and he was only worried about the child. Chandra's life had little or no meaning to him.
"And if there is a way to find you I will find you. But will you find me if Neil makes me a tree or an afro or a pharaoh. I can't go. You said so. And threads that are golden don't break easily. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still… Keeps perfectly still… Keeps perfectly… Still…"
She set the microphone back in the stand and stepped back as the applause waved up to her. She gave them all a simple grin and went to sit down. But Lorne intercepted her and pulled her aside to talk.
I looked to Angel and scowled. "She's hurting."
He glared back at me. "You think I don't see that?" He sipped on the blood in front of him. "I can tell when she's hurt."
"Yeah, you just don't give a shit."
"Hey!" Cordelia piped up. "Not here. That's enough."
"Gotta agree with Cordy here," Gunn added. "This isn't the place."
Chandra and Lorne headed back to the table. Her face was in shock. I reached for her shoulder. "Vegas?"
She looked up at me but her eyes were blank. "The baby…"
I looked at Lorne. "What's going on?"
He took another drink. "She's carrying one of the Powers That Be."
*~*~*
Faith's POV
Shit. Just when you think that things couldn't get any freakier. Carrying the child of a vampire. Oh yeah, and hey! Bonus! It's a PTB! Glad I wasn't in her shoes. I swallowed back the rest of the beer in front of me and looked around at the stunned faces. "So... this is a bad thing? I mean come on! When I was hanging with the mayor..." Angel looked my way. "Bad example I know, but still, listen. Having power on your side is a major bonus. And this one's on the up and up. All five by five and shit. See?"
Gunn nodded. "Yeah. I mean, what could..."
Chandra slammed her fist on the table. "No!" She stood. "This is just great. 'The baby this' and 'the baby that.' Well what about me? Huh?"
I stood. "Hey now, let's not fly out to far here, C. You know you're still our number one prio here." Slowly, I moved around to her. "You wanna go talk?"
She swallowed and nodded. "Please?"
Angel stood but I help up my hand. "Girl talk, fang boy. Stay." Nodding to the others to let them know it was all good, I led her to the bar counter and sat. "Chandra, look. I can't begin to know how it feels to carry a child like this..."
"That's right you can't."
"But I do know what it's like to be looked at as second priority."
This caught her attention. "What?"
I sighed. "When I first became a slayer, I made my way to Sunnydale thinking that I would finally have it all. I love slaying. It's my blood. But I got there and I met up with Buffy. Everyone's little pride and joy. She had everything I didn't. She had friends, family, a boyfriend... She had a life. She was the center of the little Sunnydale universe."
"What did you do?"
"I tried to make her like me first. I thought maybe if she understood me more I could get in. You know, like the little sis showing up her big sis. But shit happens at the worst time." I ordered another drink and took a swig. "I staked a guy."
She looked confused. "So?"
"A human. Not a vampire."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Big oh. I pretended it didn't matter. I shoved that little bit of guilt that was starting to well way back inside me and I turned it into hate." Admitting this out loud made me stop. Had I really finally let all of the hate out? I looked over at the other slayer next to me and grinned. "You see, don't let it get to you. You are important. This baby is a step in your life. It's like a little C."
She scrunched her nose. "C?"
"What can I say? I have a thing for initials." I picked up my new drink and looked back at the others. "I think you just need to give them a chance to get used to all this too. I mean, it's not like this has happened to any of them either. It'll all be five by five if you just let things work their way out."
"Five what by five what?"
*~*~*
She grinned at the group sitting at the table when the new slayer went back to them. Angel would protect her. Sighing, the woman slipped back out to the shadows, her long black leather coat billowing behind her.
*~*~*
Lilah looked at her watch and sighed, agitated. "Can we hurry this up? I have things to do."
The robed figures around the room made some tiny squealing noises. The translator in his fresh pressed suit nodded and turned to Lilah. "They say that the moon will be right in three months. No sooner. Only then will the alignment be perfect."
She grinned. "Enough time to let them think we've lost interest."
*~*~*
Angel looked upon the mother of his child as she slept. Her eyes were moving under her eyelids, once again signifying her dream state. She'd kept mostly to herself the last couple of weeks since the Locotorp demons left. Faith had slain the giant purple demon. It had taken almost a week just to clean that all up. Cordelia and Lindsey barely spoke two words to each other, but the glances they had been giving let onlookers know they were still attracted to each other. Faith and Gunn spent more time training and patrolling together. They were beginning to become almost best friends. After the incident with the Locotorp, Wesley decided to spend some quality time with Fred and took her to Texas to visit some family she had there.
Lindsey brought up a bowl of soup and a sandwich. "She needs to eat."
Angel grumbled.
Lindsey rolled his eyes. "Get over it already. You lost her." Chandra whimpered in her sleep. Gently, he set the tray of food by the bed and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Chandra? Baby, wake up."
She bolted up straight and gasped. "No!"
Lindsey wrapped his arms around her as Angel stepped forward to help. "Shh. It's okay. It was just a dream."
She held on to him and trembled.
*~*~*
Angel's POV
Seeing Chandra in Lindsey's arms stung. But for all the wrong reasons. It was because I didn't want Lindsey to have something innocent. I didn't think he deserved it. Chandra may have known him back in the day, but this was Lindsey McDonald. The man who lost a hand for the cause of Wolfram and Hart. This wasn't some laid back singer making his rounds in the lounge circuit.
No, I should have felt the sting because I loved her. But that's just the thing. I didn't love her. Not like I loved Buffy. It could never be like that.
I cleared my throat and Chandra looked over.
"Angel?" Her voice was soft and almost childlike. Then again, she was a child. Only eighteen years old I found out.
I swallowed and grinned. "Hey."
Her eyes, usually vibrant and full of life, looked upon me as if I was a shadow, something that wasn't really real. "I'm sorry if I bothered you." She buried her face into Lindsey's shoulder and tried to hide the tears I could smell.
I slammed the door as I walked back into the hall and sighed to myself. It was as if nothing I did was right anymore.
Cordelia was reading through a leather bound book as I approached her in the lobby. She glanced up and beamed her wide smile my way. I couldn't help but at least grin back.
"How's Chandra?" she asked.
My grin vanished. "Nightmares." I swallowed. "Lindsey's helping her."
She closed her book and set it aside. "Angel, you two have to move past all this stuff. I mean, it's been swell, you hating him and all, but the swelling's gone down now. People heal. And I think he's telling the truth about wanting to help us."
I looked at my feet, not wanting to look into her eyes when I knew she was right. "It's not like you're telepathic…"
She stood and crossed her arms. Obviously I had overstepped my bounds. It was almost like a game between us. I'd press and she'd press and soon we'd both give in.
"Then why don't you take him to see the Host?"
I looked up at her. "The Host." Yes, it made sense. It was logical to take Chandra to see the Host to find out about her child.
"The Host. You know, all green and beady-eyed. Horns and the whole gig?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I know who he is. We just got back from his dimension a couple of months ago. I was just thinking we should…"
"Oh!" she interrupted. "I know! We should take Chandra to see him!"
I grinned again. "Yeah."
*~*~*
Cordelia's POV
I was not going to sing. No way. I didn't have anything to hide, mind you. I just didn't feel like vocalizing. The whole share your pain thing didn't need to be done if there was no pain to be shared, right? Well, anyway, Angel insisted we go that night. Faith and Chandra had no clue what was going on. Really, I was curious to what Lorne would see if he read Faith. All that time in prison, probably not all happy thoughts.
I had to admit. The club looked great. Lorne really did have a woman's touch. And don't think I hadn't wondered about that.
We all went in single file military style: Angel, me, Lindsey, Chandra, Faith and Gunn. There was a table set aside for us towards the back. The place was packed. I'd have to remember to ask Lorne who does his advertising.
A round of drinks was placed before us, juice for the prego slayer and O positive for our vampy champ. I was fond of the martinis while Gunn and Faith held onto mugs of draft. Lindsey was drinking something I didn't recognize.
Faith looked around and narrowed her eyes. "We do know that demons are here, right?"
Gunn smiled and patted her thigh. "It's cool. This is a non-evil type place."
Lorne was on stage riling up the crowd with his rendition of We Are Family. Gunn and Lindsey bobbed their heads along while Faith and Chandra stayed in complete awe of it all. You'd think slayers would expect the wacky more.
Angel glance was focused on Chandra. Big surprise. He's trying to play all puppy dog with her and I think I'm going to go with the major hurls if he keeps it up. She's not Buffy and he should just accept it.
Faith took another drink and grinned. "Tell me again why we're here?"
Lindsey spoke up. "The Host, up on stage there, he can read auras."
"But only if you sing," I quipped.
Faith's face dropped. "Sing?" She looked to Angel. "You gotta be kidding me. This is what you were talking about that one time? The whole 'Mandy' thing?"
I cringed. "Can we not bring up Angel's singing?"
He scoffed. "Hey! What's wrong with my singing?"
"What's not?" I shot back. The rest of the table snickered as I raised my eyebrow.
Lorne finished his number and sauntered our way, grabbing a seabreeze along the way. "Angelcakes! Looks like a couple of new ones. Care to introduce me?"
"Faith, Chandra, this is Lorne, the Host. Lorne, this is Faith and Chandra. Slayers."
"Slayers? As in plural? I thought that there was only supposed to be a Chosen One?" He sat next to me and grinned. "You're sure glowing like a sunflower, Cordelia. How have you been?"
God, was it that obvious that I got some? "I'm good." I smiled and kept my eyes away from Lindsey.
Those damn little red eyes gave a wink. I wasn't fooling him. "Well then, kiddies, what can I help you with?"
Angel motioned to Chandra. "She's um…"
"Knocked up," Chandra finished. "I'm carrying Angel's baby."
The table went silent and Lorne's jaw dropped to the floor. "Well." He cleared his throat. "Care to pick a tune?" He reached out to another table and picked up a songbook. She sighed and began to look through.
Lindsey stretched, casually trying to brush by my thigh. It sent chills up my spine. I reached for my drink and took a large swallow. Okay, so maybe I still wanted the guy. Having someone beside me was wonderful. Someone who wanted me. And the sex…
"Cordelia?"
I snapped my head up to look at Angel. "Huh?"
"You okay? You look a little flushed." His concerned face had no clue that I was about to toss the lawyer boy up on the table and have at him.
"I'm fine. I just… I'll be right back." I quickly got up from the table and rushed to the ladies' room. Once there, I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. "It was a stupid spell," I told myself. "You can't want him."
"Want who?" Faith smiled as she slipped in the door. "Lindsey, right?"
I dried my face and sighed. "Faith, I'm really not in the mood to…"
"He wants you too. Why not just go for it?"
It wasn't something I wanted to think about and it most definitely wasn't something I wanted to talk about. "I don't want to talk about this."
She shrugged and went into a stall, talking while taking care of her business. "Not that it's any of my shit to deal with, but life is short and if you two want each other then why not go for it?"
"You're right." I opened the door and started to head out. "It's none of your shit to deal with." I stormed out and back to the table as Chandra was closing the book. "Ready to sing?" I smiled to her.
She nodded and stood.
*~*~*
Lindsey's POV
I could tell Chandra was nervous as she headed up to the stage. Back in Las Vegas she would always watch me on stage but never ventured up herself. Stage fright was a major problem. Her foster mother was a performer, not her.
The microphone gave a squeal as she stepped up to it. "H-Hi everyone." She cleared her throat as the music started. "I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. They say that your demons can't go there. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still."
Wow. Her voice was like that of a goddess. I watched in awe as the little girl I had seen as a kid sister became a woman as she sang her heart out.
"And maybe I'll find me a sailor or a tailor. And maybe together we'll make mother well. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still."
The rest of the bar had gone silent to watch this girl. We were all entranced by the sorrow in her song. Even if we weren't empathic, you could just sense the pain and torment. Or maybe it was because I knew her so well.
"Off with Superfly sniffing a Sharpie pen. Honey it's Bill and Ben. Off with Superfly counting your bees oh me. Honey like one two three. The camera is rolling. It's easy like one two three."
I looked to Angel and found him watching her as well. His look was hard to read. The bastard. She was hurting and he was only worried about the child. Chandra's life had little or no meaning to him.
"And if there is a way to find you I will find you. But will you find me if Neil makes me a tree or an afro or a pharaoh. I can't go. You said so. And threads that are golden don't break easily. So I got me some horses to ride on, to ride on. As long as your army keeps perfectly still… Keeps perfectly still… Keeps perfectly… Still…"
She set the microphone back in the stand and stepped back as the applause waved up to her. She gave them all a simple grin and went to sit down. But Lorne intercepted her and pulled her aside to talk.
I looked to Angel and scowled. "She's hurting."
He glared back at me. "You think I don't see that?" He sipped on the blood in front of him. "I can tell when she's hurt."
"Yeah, you just don't give a shit."
"Hey!" Cordelia piped up. "Not here. That's enough."
"Gotta agree with Cordy here," Gunn added. "This isn't the place."
Chandra and Lorne headed back to the table. Her face was in shock. I reached for her shoulder. "Vegas?"
She looked up at me but her eyes were blank. "The baby…"
I looked at Lorne. "What's going on?"
He took another drink. "She's carrying one of the Powers That Be."
*~*~*
Faith's POV
Shit. Just when you think that things couldn't get any freakier. Carrying the child of a vampire. Oh yeah, and hey! Bonus! It's a PTB! Glad I wasn't in her shoes. I swallowed back the rest of the beer in front of me and looked around at the stunned faces. "So... this is a bad thing? I mean come on! When I was hanging with the mayor..." Angel looked my way. "Bad example I know, but still, listen. Having power on your side is a major bonus. And this one's on the up and up. All five by five and shit. See?"
Gunn nodded. "Yeah. I mean, what could..."
Chandra slammed her fist on the table. "No!" She stood. "This is just great. 'The baby this' and 'the baby that.' Well what about me? Huh?"
I stood. "Hey now, let's not fly out to far here, C. You know you're still our number one prio here." Slowly, I moved around to her. "You wanna go talk?"
She swallowed and nodded. "Please?"
Angel stood but I help up my hand. "Girl talk, fang boy. Stay." Nodding to the others to let them know it was all good, I led her to the bar counter and sat. "Chandra, look. I can't begin to know how it feels to carry a child like this..."
"That's right you can't."
"But I do know what it's like to be looked at as second priority."
This caught her attention. "What?"
I sighed. "When I first became a slayer, I made my way to Sunnydale thinking that I would finally have it all. I love slaying. It's my blood. But I got there and I met up with Buffy. Everyone's little pride and joy. She had everything I didn't. She had friends, family, a boyfriend... She had a life. She was the center of the little Sunnydale universe."
"What did you do?"
"I tried to make her like me first. I thought maybe if she understood me more I could get in. You know, like the little sis showing up her big sis. But shit happens at the worst time." I ordered another drink and took a swig. "I staked a guy."
She looked confused. "So?"
"A human. Not a vampire."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Big oh. I pretended it didn't matter. I shoved that little bit of guilt that was starting to well way back inside me and I turned it into hate." Admitting this out loud made me stop. Had I really finally let all of the hate out? I looked over at the other slayer next to me and grinned. "You see, don't let it get to you. You are important. This baby is a step in your life. It's like a little C."
She scrunched her nose. "C?"
"What can I say? I have a thing for initials." I picked up my new drink and looked back at the others. "I think you just need to give them a chance to get used to all this too. I mean, it's not like this has happened to any of them either. It'll all be five by five if you just let things work their way out."
"Five what by five what?"
*~*~*
She grinned at the group sitting at the table when the new slayer went back to them. Angel would protect her. Sighing, the woman slipped back out to the shadows, her long black leather coat billowing behind her.