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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Chapter 5: Love Advice
Remus woke up the next morning to someone poking him softly in the shoulder. He attempted to swat the hand away, but it persisted. He finally opened his eyes to see Madam Pomfrey staring down at him.
"You're not in too bad of shape," she muttered while looking at his arms and legs. "Take off your shirt."
He did as was requested and she checked for wounds. Remus had one small bruise that might have been from wrestling with Padfoot, and a rather large gash that he had made himself after his friends had left.
He had only been alone for five minutes before changing back to human form, and yet he had still injured himself. Remus remembered when he was younger and that was all he did during his transformations.
"Okay, dear," Madam Pomfrey said with a smile. "Not too bad at all. We'll get you cleaned up when we get back to the castle."
Feeling weak and shaky as he always did after a full moon, Remus followed her through the tunnel and out of the Whomping Willow. When they reached the castle, they went directly to the Hospital Wing. Remus took the bed in the back as he always did.
While Madam Pomfrey went searching for a salve for the wound he had inflicted on himself. Remus looked around the Hospital Wing. It was a familiar place.
It suddenly, really struck him that it was his last year at Hogwarts. The days of romping around the castle in animal form and laughing with his friends would soon be over. And what then?
Remus didn't want to think about it.
Instead, he began to think of all of the memories this hospital bed held for him. He remembered his first transformation and how he had so badly wanted his parents the day after when he laid in this same bed.
He recalled the day that James, Sirius, and Peter had confronted him at the end of first year. Remus had told them that he was visiting his sick Auntie Mabel, and they had been suspicious of where he had been going for months. They had worked it out and were actually willing to be his friend even though he was a werewolf.
It still amazed him.
And he recollected with an angry lurch in his stomach and a hurt feeling in his heart, how he had laid on this bed last year when Sirius had told him that it was he who had told Severus Snape where to find Remus.
That had been a very hard thing to forgive.
Sirius's hotheadedness had always been a problem, but he had gone quite overboard then. Remus had found it difficult to be around him for a few months after the incident. They had eventually talked and Remus had decided he could not throw away years of friendship because of a mistake.
At that moment, Madam Pomfrey came in carrying a bowl of orange liquid. "It will burn slightly," she said as she took a handful of the goopy substance and smothered it on his chest. "This should clear up that cut in no time."
She left after a few minutes to get him a lunch tray and Remus was left alone with his thoughts.
Last night had been fun and exciting. Sirius would certainly be giddy over it, but Remus had been more than a little frightened when Peter had almost been attacked by spiders. What if he had been killed?
Remus knew his friends rarely thought of the risks they were taking, but Remus did. He tried to ignore them because they had so many fun adventures during the full moon, but every now and then a close call would make him doubt if what they were doing was worth it.
Remus shook his head. No one had been hurt last night. Everything was fine. They had gone for a little romp in the forest, met up with a giant spider, and then his friends had gone back to the castle.
No…wait, that wasn't true. Prongs and Wormtail had gone back to the castle and Padfoot had come back.
Padfoot had licked him.
Remus had not remembered this tiny detail until that very moment. It wasn't quite unusual. He often forgot certain parts of their adventures before as he was constantly fighting the wolf inside of him.
But to forget something as wonderful as-
No, it meant nothing, he told himself harshly. Sirius probably hadn't even meant to do it. It was probably just dog instincts or something.
Why do I even care? He asked himself. Sirius is just a friend.
But the argument inside his head wasn't very convincing. He had slowly begun to realize that Sirius meant more to him than just a friend, and the denial was no longer very strong.
Madam Pomfrey came to his bed, interrupting his thoughts, and handed him a tray with a sandwich and pumpkin juice. Remus didn't feel very hungry. He was actually feeling very sick to his stomach.
He liked Sirius.
What could he do? He couldn't tell anyone. The feelings were so strong, but Remus knew he had to suppress them. If Sirius found out…he would surely want nothing to do with Remus ever again. He couldn't let that happen.
"Swallow your emotions," he whispered quietly as he picked at his sandwich.
"What was that, Moony?" Remus started. James was grinning at him. "I didn't scare you, did I?"
Remus smiled. "No, of course not." James laughed. "Where's Sirius? And Peter?"
"They have Divination right now," James said. "I'm glad I dropped that after fifth year. It's useless."
Remus snickered. "Just because Professor Atter always predicted that you'd have trouble with females-"
"Sod off!" James shouted, but Remus could tell he was trying not to laugh.
"-so I can see why you would find it useless," Remus said through his snickers.
When their laughter subsided, James, looking a bit downtrodden spoke. "Do you think Lily will ever go out with me?"
Remus hesitated. He didn't think he was the right person to be giving out romantic advice, especially not with his current problems. "I think she might if you give her a reason too."
"What do you mean?" James asked, looking confused. "I have plenty to offer."
"Maybe you don't have the things she's looking for," Remus replied, feeling more and more uncomfortable as the conversation went on.
"Like what?" James said.
Remus paused, hoping his friend wouldn't get offended at what he was about to say. "It's just…you…and Sirius can sometimes be a bit…conceited."
"Conceited?" James asked, looking shocked. "I'm not…" he trailed off; apparently no intelligent argument was coming to him.
Look," Remus began, "Lily has always gotten mad at you for the same thing, and that's hexing people and acting like your better than everyone else. So maybe if you just tone it down a bit, she'll give you a chance and realize you're a pretty decent bloke."
At first, James looked indignant. He seemed to get over it after a few seconds though and his irritated expression was replaced by one of determination. "Maybe I will tone it down," he muttered.
After that he said a hurried goodbye and left Remus to his musings. Remus had never seen one person so fixed on a girl before. James had liked Lily since fifth year, but she seemed to find him arrogant.
Not that Remus could blame her.
James was conceited at times, especially when it came to Quidditch, but Remus hoped that Lily would go out with him. The poor bloke had put in his time. He deserved one chance.
"Hey Moony," said someone.
Peter and Sirius had just walked beside his bed, Peter leading the way while Sirius was unusually quiet. I deserve a chance too, Remus thought. He shook his head, trying to rid his brain of the thoughts.
"How are you feeling?" Peter asked.
Remus shrugged. "Not bad." Again Sirius was silent. "What's wrong, Padfoot?"
Sirius looked up. His cheeks were turning pink. "Nothing," he muttered. "Just tired."
Remus nodded. They chatted for a few moments, Sirius still not saying anything.
"Well," Peter said, "I'm starving. We're going to get some dinner. Do you need anything?"
Remus shook his head. "No, I already ate and have most of my work."
"Alright then," he said. "See you tomorrow."
Remus watched them walking away, hoping he would be able to return to his dormitory tomorrow. He didn't like staying in the Hospital Wing very long, and sometimes when his injuries weren't bad and he could convince Madam Pomfrey he was feeling quite strong, she would let him go after only a couple days.
Remus's thoughts quickly traveled back to Sirius. Why had he been so quiet? What was going through his mind? Perhaps he had just been tired.
Pondering this, Remus eventually fell asleep. His dreams were filled with a wolf and a dog, running together without a worry in the world.
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