Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.
*Moral- Don't sue me.
A/N[1]: Yay! A second chapter! This chapter contains SLASH so be warned.
Tale 2: The Dog in the Manger
Ink: "Has anyone seen Snoody?"
Spot whistles innocently to himself.
Ink: "Spot, what did you do with my narrator?"
Spot: "Don't worry, he'll be fine in a couple a hours."
Ink: "WHAT?!"
Spot begins to look afraid and slowly backs up.
Spot: "Never mind, I was kiddin' I didn't do anythin to 'im I swear."
Ink: "Where am I going to get a narrator on such short notice, I mean the stories already started for crying out loud!"
Spot shrugs.
Spot: "Hey, don't look at me, I gotta go get dis shit outta my hair."
Ink: "Arggg!"
She looks around, and her eyes land on Racetrack.
Ink: "Oh costume boy?"
Race: "Don't call me dat!"
Ink: "Okay, I won't, because your being promoted, here are your lines, your on, so GO."
Race: "WHAT?!"
Ink pushes Race onto the stage, where he stands looking at the audience like a deer caught in headlights.
Ink: "Race, just read the first line in the book."
Race nods, takes a deep breath, and starts. At the same time, Ink heads toward the bathroom to flush the toilet while Spot is in the shower.
(Mmmm, Spot in the shower!)
Race: "A dog looking for a quiet and comfortable place to take a nap jumped into the manger of the ox and lay there on the hay."
Skittery walks on stage in a dog costume, complete with big floppy ears, and a long tail safety pinned to the back of his pants.
Ink: "Hey Race, where'd you get the safety pin?"
Race: "I went to Staples during da break."
Off stage Spot could be herd cursing, and vowing revenge on Ink, her family, her friends, everyone she had ever cared about, her third grade class, and the assistant principal of the nursery school her grandfather had attended.
Skittery: Through ain't he?"
Ink nods.
Skittery climbs into the hay, and for the next ten minutes he squirms and shifts around in it.
Race: "Skittery, what the Hell are ya doin'?"
Skittery: "Findin' a comfortable position."
Race: "Would you jus' lay down so we can get dis ova wit?"
He asks huffily.
Skittery: "Fine, you don't gotta get snarky about it."
Skittery lays still.
Ink: "Finally!"
Race: "Sometime later the ox, returning hungry from his day's work, entered his stall and found the dog in his manger."
Skittery began shifting around again, and making funny noises.
Mush walks on stage wearing ox horns, and no shirt.
Ink: "Mush, where's your shirt?"
Mush: "oxes don't wear shirts."
Ink smirks pervertedly.
Ink: "You know Mush, oxen don't wear pants either."
Mush considers this.
From off stage comes a voice,
Jack: "Hey! Wait a minute, this thing's only rated PG-13, which means no nudity."
Ink: "Damn!"
Mush: "Skittery, what the Hell are you doin'?"
Race: "Can we please get on wit dis?"
Ink: "It's your line Racey my love."
Race: "Don't call me dat."
Ink: "Okay, I'm sure I can think of something much more embarrassing to call you."
Race pales visibly.
Race: "The dog, in a rage because he had been awakened from his nap, stood up and barked and snapped whenever the ox came near his hay."
Everyone looks at Skittery, who is straddling some unseen object in the hay.
Mush taps him lightly on the shoulder and he looks up.
Mush: "Umm... Skittery... Your supposed to be barking."
Skittery: "Oh yeah... Right... Ahem... Bark. Bark. Snap. Growl. Yada-yada. Etc... Woof!"
Skittery promptly goes back to what he had been doing in the hay, leaving everyone on or near the stage staring at him in confusion.
Race: "The ox is a patient beast, but finally he protested:"
Mush: "Dog, if you wanted to eat my dinner I would have no objection. But you will neither eat it yourself nor let me enjoy it, which strikes me as a very churlish way to act."
Skittery: "But I am enjoying it."
Mush: "But your not eating it."
Skittery looks up and smiles,
Skittery: "No, I'm not."
The hay in the manger begins moving. Mush looks at it in horror.
Mush: "The killer hay wants revenge! I ate it's family, and friends. Quick, flee, run, panic!
Mush runs off stage hysterical.
Suddenly a figure sits upright in the hay.
Snitch: "What's goin' on Skitts?"
Skittery kisses him quickly.
Skittery: "I think it's time for da moral."
Snitch: "meep!"
From off stage Ink raises an eyebrow, as a very disheveled Snitch scrambles out of the hay manger. He hastily tucks his shirt back in to his pants, and straitens his "halo" blushing all the while.
Snitch: "Da moral of dis story is; some begrudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. Also, don't make-out in a hay manger wit da whole woild watchin'!"
The curtain drops.
A/N[2]: Yay! Snitch/Skittery (huggles the pairing.) Doesn't Spot in the shower give you a nice mental picture. Hey, I had shirtless!Mush too. What a great chapter! Please review!
~Ink
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Okay, now for (insert drum roll here) SHOUTOUTS!
SPARKLES2~ I'm glad you liked it. I'll update as often as I can. Damn school, getting in the way of my fun! My imaginary closet people return the hello to your Imaginary Bumlets, and they send him an imaginary fruit cake, as it is the food of choice for imaginary closet people.
SPAZJOSLYN~ I have over one hundred fables in my book. So, I'm planing on keeping this up until, you all tell me to shut up, or until I run out of ideas. I'm glad you found it funny! I was cracking up just writing it!
SPECSGLASSES~ My imaginary people now hold you in the highest respect. Snitch wasn't so angelic in this chapter was he? Thanks for reviewing, I love reviews!