Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.


A/N[1]: Good Lord! I'm on chapter nine!





Tale 9: The Fox and the Grapes





Ink: "Snoody, What are you doing?"


Snoody: "Shhhh, me and Itey are having a staring contest."


Ink: "Why?"


Snoody: "Well because..."


He pauses, thinking.


Snoody: "Itey, why are we having a staring contest?"


Itey: "To see who is gonna narrate dis story."


Snoody: "Oh yeah."


He turns to Ink.


Snoody: "We're having a staring contest to see who narrates dis story."


Ink: "I heard Itey!"


Snoody turns back to Itey.


Itey is smirking.


Itey: "I win!"


Snoody: "No you don't!"


Itey: "You looked away!"


Snoody: "Only for a second!"


Itey: "That's still looking away!"


Snoody pouts.


Snoody: "But Ink distracted me."


Ink pats him on the back.


Ink: "Sorry Snoody, but the rules are you can't look away, and you looked away. I guess Itey's narrating."


Itey: "YES!!!!"


Ink: "Now lets start the..."


Race: "Ink, we're hungry!"


Ink: "It never fails, I try to start the story and they bring up something that has no relevancy whatsoever. At least this time no one broke out into song."


Music starts in the background.


The boys look ready to sing.


Ink: "I think NOT!"


Snipeshooter, who was very eager to do another song, as he enjoyed the last one immensely, shuffles backstage in a crest fallen manner.


Swifty: "That was mean, you broke the poor kids heart!"


Spot: "He'll get over it."


Mush: "What if he doesn't. He'll grow up with a complex or something, and he'll have to go to a therapist for the rest of his life. That will cost thousands of dollars, he will have to get loans to pay off his debts, and when he can't pay back his loans, the loan sharks will have him killed, and it's all your fault!"


Ink: "Mush, I don't think..."


Mush: "You killed Snipeshooter!"


He runs off the mourn the tragic death of his friend.


Blink rushes on stage.


Blink: "What'd you do to Mush?"


Ink: "I didn't do anything to Mush!"


Blink: "You must have done something to him, he's over there crying, and what if he starts hyperventilating? Then he could pass out, and he would die from lack of oxygen to the brain!"


Blink rushes off.


Blink: "Don't die Mush! I'm coming!"


Spot: "Those two are such drama queens."


Race: "I'm still hungry."


Ink: "I still want to start the story."


Itey: "I'm hungry too."


Jack: "Yeah, I haven't eaten in like... three whole hours!"

Dave: "You just ate a Poptart!"


Jack: "Poptarts don't count as food."


Dave: "Since when?"


Jack: "Since about six seconds ago, and either way, I'm still hungry."


Bumlets: "Come to think of it, me too."


Race: "See? We're hungry, and actors can't preform on an empty stomach."


Ink: "Fine, I'll make everyone something."


Race: "I'm not hungry anymore."


Itey: "Me neither."


Jack: "I'm still hungry."


Ink: "What's wrong with my cooking?"


Everyone whistles innocently, and averts their eyes.


Ink: "Hey, I made you soup when you were sick!"


Spot: "And we're lucky we didn't get worse."


Ink: "Well then, how do you expect to eat?"


Race: "Lets get fast food."


Ink: "Fine, if you want to fill your bodies with greasy, filthy, calorie filled garbage, that's been sitting under a heat lamp for several years, raise your hand."


Everyone raises their hands.


Ink: "You people disgust me."


Race: "Lets vote on where we should eat."


Ink: "I vote for the cheapest place we can find."


Boots: "That's not very democratic."


Les: "I think we should vote on as many places as we can think of!"


Everyone who isn't Ink: "Yeah!"


9 hours later.


Itey: "Okay, here are the results from the vote."


Bumlets: "Mc Donald's- 17."


Les: "Burger King- 14."


Swifty: "Long John Silvers-2."


Itey: "Denny's- 11."


Les: "Taco Bell- 17."


Itey: "Wendy's- 10."


Swifty: "Pizza Hut- 37."


Bumlets: "Chinese- 4."


Swifty: "Kentucky Fried Chicken- 26."


Itey: "Olive Garden- 1."


Les: "Golden Corral- 16."


Bumlets: "Arby's- 29."


Itey: "Red Lobster- 6."


Bumlets: "Subway- 21."


Ink: "Guys! That's 211 votes!"


Itey: "So?"


Ink: "There are only twenty one people in the room!"


Everyone shrugs.


Ink: "Who voted twice?"


Everyone raises both hands.


Race: "So... Pizza Hut?"


Ink: "I guess so."


Pizza delivery guy: "Okay, your total comes to, $129.36."


Ink hands him $130.00.


Ink: "Here, keep the change."


She smiles sweetly.


Pizza delivery guy: "Gee, thanks."


Ink: "Anytime."


Everyone pounces on Ink and the pizza.


Specs: "Cool, anchovies!"


Dutchy: "That's disgustin'!"


Snitch: "How long do you think it takes to catch all those little fish?"


Skittery: "I don't think they catch them one at a time Snitch."


Snitch: "Oh."


Bumlets: "YES! Extra cheese!"


Jake: "Mmmmm, pineapple."


Itey: "You put pineapple on pizza?"


Jake: "Yup."


He takes a big bite.


Ink: "Race, this was your big idea, you owe me one hundred and thirty bucks."


Race pulls out his dice.


Race: "I'll roll ya for it, double or nothin'."


Ink: "No!"


Race: "Where am I supposed to get that much money?"


Spot: "You should roll him for it."


Ink: "No, he'll win."


Spot: "Maybe he won't."


Ink: "He always does."


Race: "There's a fifty fifty chance."


Spot: "Those are good odds."


Ink: "Alright! Fine!"


They roll the dice.


Spot: "Race wins."


Race: "YES!"


Ink: "Damnit!"


Spot drags Race off to the snogging closet, carrying a pizza.


Ink calls after them,


Ink: "Do you know how many hours I had to work to make that money?"


Crutchy: "Seventeen and a third?"


Ink: "Shut up Crutchy."


Crutchy: "That's only three days of work!"


Bumlets: "You make one hundred and thirty dollars in three days?"


Ink: "Only during the summer."


Boots: "You must have the best job in the world!"


Ink: "My job sucks, It's just that minimum wage has gone up in the past hundred years!"


Snipeshooter: "So where do you work?"


Ink: "Gap."


Snipeshooter looks shocked.


Snipeshooter: "That's one of J.C. Penny's competitors."


He glares at Ink.


Ink slowly backs away from Snipeshooter.


Dave: "He's a very loyal customer."


Ink: "I see that."


Everyone finishes eating, successfully managing to kill eleven pizzas between them.


Ink: "Okay, lets start the story."


Itey: "Ohhh! I'm narrating!"


He grabs the book and runs out on stage.


Itey: "Mister fox was just about famished,"


Spot walks on stage in a fox costume.


Spot: "Did this guy Aesop have a fox fetish or something?"


Ink: "I don't know!"


Jack: "Isn't this like the third fox so far?"


Blink: "Yeah, you were a fox, I was a fox, and now Spot's a fox."


Mush: "You are a fox Blink."


He says this innocently.


Blink smirks and puts an arm around Mush's waist.


Les: "Spot, you don't look very famished."


Spot: "No shit, I just ate half a pizza."


Pie Eater: "I ate a pizza pie, now I really am a pie eater!"


Swifty: "Thanks for sharing Pie."


Ink: "Itey, keep going."


Itey: "and thirsty too,"


Spot: "I AM thirsty!"


Ink: "Good, it'll help you stay in character."


Itey: "when he stole into a vineyard where the sun-ripened grapes were hanging on a trellis in a tempting show,"


Dutchy comes out and sits at the foot of the trellis, he is entirely purple.


Ink: "Race?"


Race: "Yeah?"


Ink: "Tell me you didn't dye his hair purple."


Race: "I didn't dye his hair purple."


Ink: "YOU DYED HIS HAIR PURPLE!"


Race smirks.


Race: "I know."


Dutchy begins singing to himself in a very loud manner,


Dutchy: "I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape!"


Jack laughs.


Jack: "Dutchy's a fruit."


Dutchy: "And proud of it!"


Spot: "These whiskers are itchy."


Itey: "but too high for him to reach."


Dutchy: "Oops!"


Dutchy climbs the trellis and sits on the top with his feet dangling down.


Itey: "He took a run and a jump, snapping at the nearest bunch,"


Spot runs, and jumps, and comes very close to Dutchy's right shoe.


Itey: "but missed."


Dutchy pulls his legs up and Spot lands on the floor with a thump.


Itey: "Again and again he jumped, only to miss the luscious prize."


Dave: "That's a great deal of fruitless effort."


Jake: "And that was a really bad joke."


Dutchy: "I'm luscious."


Specs: "Yes you are!"


Spot keeps jumping, trying with all his might to catch hold of Dutchy.


Itey: "At last, worn out with his efforts, he retreated, muttering:"


Spot stops jumping and begins walking away.


Spot: "Well, I never really wanted those grapes anyway."


Swifty: "But Spot, you were just trying to get him like your life depended on it."


Spot: "Shut up Swift."


Swifty: "Well, it's true!"


Dutchy is still singing, now he is even louder than before.


Dutchy: "Well I saw the thing coming out of the sky

It had one long horn, one big eye

I commenced to shakin' and I said 'ohh-eee'

It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

(one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.)

A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

Sure looks strange to me. (one eye?)

Well he come down to earth and lit in a tree

I said Mr. Purple People Eater don't eat me.

I heard him sat in a voice so gruff

I wouldn't eat you 'cos you're so tough

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

Sure looks strange to me. (one horn?)

I said Mr. Purple People Eater what's your line

He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine

But that's not the reason that I come to this land

I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple people eater

Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flying purple people eater

(We wear short shorts) Flying purple people eater

Sure looks strange to me.

And then he swung from the tree and lit on the ground.

He started to rock, really rockin' around

It was a crazy little ditty with a swingin' tune

(sing a wop bop aloo bop lop bam boom)

Well, bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple people eater

Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flying purple people eater

Flyin' little people eater

Sure looks strange to me. (purple people?)

And then he went on his way, and then what do you know.

I saw him last night on a TV show.

He was blowing it out, a 'really knockin' em dead

Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head

Tequila!"


Everyone is frozen and staring at Dutchy.


Itey: "What the Hell was that?"


Dutchy: "Purple People Eater, by Sheb Woolley."


He answers calmly.


Ink: "Spot, can you please say the last line before I go insane?"


Spot: "I am sure they are sour, and perhaps wormy in the bargain."


Dutchy: "I choose not to take offense at that."


Snipeshooter: "How come Dutchy got to sing another song?"


Ink: "Because I like him more."


Snipeshooter goes off somewhere to pout.


Snitch comes out on stage.


Snitch: "Pizza's the best food ever!"


Ink: "Snitch! Do the moral!"


Snitch: "ONE-EYED, ONE-HORNED, FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!"


Dutchy: "Well I saw the thing comin'..."


Ink: "NO, Bad Dutchy! Bad Snitch! Do the moral!"


Snitch: "Moral, Any fool can despise what he cannot get."


He skips off stage humming Purple People Eater.


Ink: "MAY EVIL DEMON MONKEYS DECEND UPON YOU IN THE SHOWER!"


The curtain comes down.





A/N[2]: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sorry this chapter took so long! I started another story. GO ME! Anyway... Ahem... I LOVE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER! Okay, I'm done now.

~Ink


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Shoutouts!



ASP~ Kryptonite is like the coolest song ever! I'm so glad you reviewed! And you liked the chapter! Alright! I get double thumbs up! That's awesome! Thanks for reviewing!



CABBY1~ The sickness has not overcome me! I am well, Finally. I have never seen 'My Best Friend's Wedding', so I will have to take your word for it. At least until I go out and rent it or something! I love your reviews! Thanks for reviewing!



TIGERTESS~ That was the funniest thing you've read this week? YES! Mission accomplished! A new reviewer! YAY! Dude, the Pelvic Thrust is awesome! Thanks for reviewing!



NAKAIA AIDAN-SUN~ You thought my chapter was awesome! My life's goals have been accomplished! Hehe! I'm soooooo glad you like my story! Vanilla Pepsi s awesome! Thanks for the review! I loved it! And thanks for reviewing Ring Around The Rosy!



OBSESSED WIT' AARON LOHR~ WOOOOOOOO! Itey, just for you! Don't you feel special? Itey is awesome, he's not my favorite, but he is very high on the list! You loved my story! I can die happy now! I LOVE MAX CASELLA! I have seen like every movie he has ever been in! Everyone loves Tinkermush! I have never had diet Vanilla Pepsi. Dude! Cheep is my middle name, I annoy my friends because I totally stress about spending one dollar! Thank you for the review! I hope this chapter fulfills your Itey craving! And thank you for reviewing Ring Around The Rosy!



SPECSGLASSES~ Dude, better late than never! I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! I think I already told yo that but I will say it again, because your reviews are just that cool! I didn't know if anyone liked the song Kryptonite, but it turns out everyone loves it! It's one of my favorite songs in the whole world!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Snipeshooter is captain underpants. Hehehe! Alright! My paragraph was Priceless, no, wait, in fact it was PRICELESS! That's awesome! I'm glad you liked it! I have no idea where it came from. I'm sorry it took so long to update, my brother stole the computer and was hogging it and I couldn't get on! I was about to die from withdrawals! I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! Hehe, I said it again! Thank you sooooooooooooooo much for reviewing, it means a lot to me! PEACE OUT!