The normally immaculate room was a shambles. The closet doors were splayed open, dresser drawers pulled out and not pushed back in. Clothes laid haphazardly all over the room like an explosion had just occurred. Even the bed, which normally was made so faultless and tightly that you could bounce a quarter off of it, was ripped apart. A suitcase sat atop it as clothes were thrown into it, sometimes making their mark, other times landing around it.
Keith could be seen rummaging through a drawer that contained his few personal effects, trying to find a trinket that he had purchased at the market months ago, but never had the nerve to actually give to the intended recipient. His movements had become increasingly frantic with desperation as he had searched all other possible spots and still not found it. This drawer was the last possible place he could look. If he did not find it here….
" It's gotta be here somewhere!! I know I last saw it in one of these drawers!!" Keith mumbled to himself as he groped through the drawer. Suddenly his actions stilled as his hand hit a small velvet box. His eyes lit up with hope as he slowly withdrew his hand from the depths of the drawer. As he pulled his hand out, the light hit the box and he slowly cracked the box open, his eyes peering pensively inside. A loud whoosh of air was expelled from Keith as the apprehension left his body.
He peered at the contents of the box, again amazed at the intricate bauble that he had stumbled across that one afternoon so many months ago. It was perfect actually….a gift fit for a princess.
Keith had been in the process of packing his few meager belongings when his tumultuous thoughts had turned towards the gift he always wanted to give to the princess but never had. So with all thoughts of packing forgotten, Keith had started the hunt. Now the results of the hunt sat in his hand. It was a ring crafted of the finest Arusian white gold, inlaid with stones of onyx, emerald, ruby, sapphire, and amber. The colors of Voltron were the essence of this ring; black, green, red, blue, and yellow. He had seen the ring and immediately laid claim to it. The monetary cost had been high, but then again, for his princess, nothing was to high.
Keith was so engrossed in staring at the ring, he never heard the door chime and slide silently open. Lance peered into the room, a slight shocked look covering his features as he took in the wrecked room. He had never seen any personal area of Keith's this disorganized. He took note of Keith sitting on the bed, his legs crossed, staring at something in his hand.
' That's it… Keith has finally gone of his rocker' Lance mirthlessly thought. He waited for his friend to acknowledge his presence but after several moments of silence, his voice finally intruded upon Keith's reverie.
" What's got you so mesmerized?" Lance questioned.
Keith's head snapped up at the voice, finally noticing Lance. He snapped the box shut and stood up, pocketing it.
" Nothing at all," Keith replied nonchalantly.
" Uh huh… right," Lance quirked his eyebrow as Keith went about, resuming his packing. His ever observant eyes had not missed Keith's slight of hand, slipping something into his pocket. The minute his friend's back was turned getting something out of the dresser drawer, Lance swiftly made his move, grabbing the item from Keith's pocket.
Keith's outraged yell could be heard as Lance made a quick retreat to the other side of the room, out of reach of Keith's deadly quick reflexes. Keith whipped around, trying to locate where Lance had hurried to. When he realized what Lance held in his hand, his shoulders slumped as he awaited the discovery. Lance cracked upon the box, and he sucked a breath in at the ring. A tense silence followed as Lance just stared at the ring.
" You know you'll have to tell her," he finally said without taking his eyes away from the ring.
" Tell who?" Keith feigned ignorance over whom Lance was referring to.
" The Princess, I know you love her," Lance sharply retorted back.
He cut Keith off just as he was going to deny it, "Keith don't bother. I know how you feel. You can't fool me and this ring just cements every single suspicion I have."
Keith sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair growling," Fine, your right. I love Allura. More than anything..."
Lance looked triumphant over that but Keith continued on, "... but, I'm not going to tell her. She deserves a Prince not a pilot."
" Keith, that's a load of crap, you have to tell her. She feels the same way," Lance said almost desperately.
Keith's only reply was to remain silent.
" Fine be that way but you'll regret it one day when she marries someone else and has the life with him that should have been yours." That said, Lance stormed out of the room to leave Keith to think about the decision that would one-day cause him unbearable pain.
_______________________________________
Keith paced back and forth in his room, trying to sort out the jumble that his feelings for Allura had become. He tried to reason his way thru it like everything else, with a clear and orderly mind, but Keith was finding that impossible. His feelings ran too deep and were to complicated to approach in his normal style. There was no way that he could even form a coherent decision about the Princess. Keith realized that sometimes he had to think and act upon what his heart said, not his mind. But, he also realized, if he acted on what his heart wanted, he would be forfeiting his career and jeopardizing Allura's future as queen.
' I can't do that to her, ' he thought, ' I love her to much to even think about telling her something that could hurt her. Besides, she might not even feel the same way about me…'
Keith heaved a great sigh and ran both his hands thru his hair. He went up to his windows and leaned against it, staring out upon the lush Arusian landscape but taking no real notice of it.
' If I don't tell her, I'll be in torture the rest of my life because I'll never know what could have been. I'll have to hear about her taking a husband, bearing another man's children, growing old and gray with someone else. I don't know if I can or will be able to stand that.'
His thoughts were torturing. He could not see, nor did he want, to see a future without her.. But the future he wanted was impossible, he tried telling himself. A pilot is not allowed to marry royalty.
' Besides Allura deserves more than I can give her. I can't bring land or wealth to a marriage, only my love. I don't know if that alone is enough for a princess.'
Keith slammed his hand against the glass of the window in frustration.
'It is so damn unfair. Tradition and my own damn sense of honor are keeping us apart. I know she really does care about me, we just haven't told each other. She doesn't even need to tell me because I see it in her eyes.'
Keith sighed at the thought of Allura's eyes. Those eyes were the only ones who could read past his expressionless mask and right into his soul. The moment he looked into her eyes, he had been lost.
Only it had taken him awhile to see it.
Her eyes that were so blue, like an ocean, he thought he would drown in them. Allura's body might have radiated an air of fragility but her eyes belied that, and held the strength and wisdom of her soul. The strength she really possessed and had proven time and again....
Keith shook himself out of his revere. He went back to pondering the situation and what he should do about it. He thought about it long into the cool Arusian night and only reached a decision as the brilliant show of the dawn commenced...
"For the honor of Allura, she shall never know how I feel. I will not subject her to my worthless feelings." He murmured to himself and with that, he prepared his final bags for departure.
__________________________________________
An hour after Keith had reached his heart wrenching decision, he entered the pilot's lounge to find the others sprawled out. The air in the lounge was thick with desolation and despair. The only sound was of a clock ticking. To all of them, it was the sound of a countdown. Keeping track of the hour, minute, second, until they left their home. A death toll.
They had all glanced up to see who was entering the room when the door had slid open. They all took note of Keith's haggard, drawn- in façade. Pidge looked curiously at Keith then at Lance for some sort of explanation.
"He just made one of the most difficult decisions of his life," Lance answered
He looked at his friend for confirmation. Keith looked at Lance in mild surprise and then slowly nodded his head.
" Well what did you decide?" Lance queried.
"I'm not going to tell her. I can't harm everything she's worked for," Keith stated coldly and simply. With that, he turned and left the room as quickly as he had come.
Lance looked after his friend with a mixture of anger, resignation, and sadness. Of everyone he knew, he felt Keith really deserved happiness. And now that he had found the potential to build it, he was throwing it away. Hunk and Pidge looked at Lance for an answer and Lance was about ready to tell them when Hunk spoke up, "He's not going to tell the princess how he feels is he?"
Lance and Pidge looked at Hunk in shock. He normally was not so astute. Lance shook off his shock at Hunk and nodded his head. Pidge spoke next in a low voice, " So he's just going to leave and try to forget the women he loves?"
A heavy sigh emitted, " He is so sure that he's not good enough for the princess. He's just going to leave and I know she loves him. But he's so adamant about it, damn him. They both deserve happiness and they could find it with each other. But they are doomed all because of Keith's stubbornness and his stupid sense of duty. Those two things are going to make his and the princess's life a hell."
It seemed there was no hope for the love they all know was there. A rare love that could have transcended every boundary was not even being given a chance.
And how sad it was that the words Lance had spoken about their lives turning into a hell were a prophecy. It would start out as a personal hell for the pilot and his princess that would be induced by their separation, but it would soon turn to a hell that would threaten to destroy them and everything they loved.