Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, probably future mpreg

Fates and Choices

Part 5: Of Truth and Punishment

Duo felt his body vibrate with the power rising within Quatre. The smaller blond was hunkered next to an injured Shifter after a skirmish at the border of the Forest, a soft glow of his energy rippling the air around him. The braided man felt a hunger to join his powers with the Healer's. As the glow faded, Quatre stood up unsteadily and Duo was quick to support him. The braided Shifter felt extremely guilty. The blond Healer was expending huge amounts of his own energy in Healing both Shifters and the Forest alike and Duo didn't even make a move to help him.

"You need to rest, Quat," Duo tightened his grip on the smaller Shifter's elbow as the blond turned towards another injured.

"Later," Quatre gasped, weakly, his face pale with exertion.

Heero had acknowledged his inability to kill and had commissioned him to protect the tribe's lead Healer. It was also to protect his love from getting hurt. Since Healers don't usually come out in battle until the end of it, Duo had been spared many scenes of carnage and the need to take a life.

Duo dug in his heels. "No," he stated firmly. "You don't have anymore reserves, Quat. Let them Heal the rest."

"Not strong enough. I'm the only one," Quatre swayed before falling limp into Duo's arms.

The braided Shifter cursed loudly before lowering the unconscious Healer onto the ground. Most of the attack party was still far away, subduing the last of the rebellion. That meant Heero and Trowa were still far away from them. And with all the other Healers weakened by the pain of the burnt Forest, Trowa was the only one able to sustain the exhausted Healer with his own energy.

Quatre's breathing was laboured, as if in pain, a slight sheen of sweat covering him. His skin was ashen and at that point in time, Duo thought he was going to die. He had seen this before, Healers pushing themselves to the brink of death by over taxing themselves. Quatre was his friend, he can't just sit here and watch his friend die. Never, he couldn't. Taking a deep breath, Duo let his defences crumble and reached out to the prone blond.

Quat, can you hear me? Finding the energy signature of the other Healer was as easy as finding his own two hands in the dark.

Duo? Quatre sounded weak, but shocked.

Take from me. I can help And the braided Shifter opened himself fully. He moaned in pain as the sensations of the injured, dead and dying echoed against his Healer senses. The Forest was also keening softly, in pain at being burnt.

Duo, no! Quatre sounded shocked. Not by yourself! You could get….

The rest of what the blond Healer wanted to say was washed away by a tide of need, the need to make everything right again. His power rose from him, blunting the pain from others and filled him with ecstasy. It had always been like this, the rapture of Healing. He felt the power glow around him, gathering energy before rushing out of him, into the ground, into the Forest, into Quatre, into the moaning Shifter next him to everything that told him of their pain. Their pain disappeared, the Forest's pain disappeared. What was left was his own. What had he done? No one should know he was a Healer. What the hell did he just do?

The last thing he remembered was Quatre's worried aqua eyes staring down at him before everything turned black.

XXxxXX

"You lied to me," Heero stared at his mate, who was curled into a ball, on their bed.

"I didn't mean to, I swear," Duo sobbed, knowing he would have to renounce his mate now that his status as Healer was made public.

"Why?" Heero asked, his voice harsh.

"Because… because…." Duo stuttered, backing away from the dangerous glare in Heero's eyes.

"WHY?" Heero thundered, grabbing the Healer by his shoulders and shaking him.

"Because I will have to leave you if you ever find out!" Duo yelled back. "Damn it, I don't want to leave," he continued in a small voice.

Heero appeared stunned. He knew in his heart he would forgive Duo no matter what he did but he still couldn't help feeling hurt by this. Had everything Duo told been a lie all this while? Did Duo really love him as he constantly professed? Can he believe it?

"I love you, Heero Yuy. I can't be what you want. I can't give you what you need," Duo stared resolutely on the ground, unwilling to see the condemnation in his love's eyes.

"Then tell me why you did it," Heero said, evenly. He wished desperately Duo would look at him. While everything about him can tell a lie, Duo's eyes never lied, not when they looked into Heero's.

Duo sighed. "My brother's name is Solo…." He began.

"I was all a game to the both of you?" Heero couldn't believe the story he heard.

"No!" Duo's head snapped up and was pinned by angry cobalt. "I never expected to fall in love with you. I never expect to like it here so much, I never…" The sincerity in his voice pierced Heero's heart but the other Shifter was wary of more lies from his seemingly honest mate. "Please believe me." He begged. "Even if you doubt everything else about me, never doubt that I love you."

Heero turned away. "How can I not?" He couldn't mask the pain he felt anymore than the desire to believe everything Duo was telling him. His mind and his heart were pulling him in two directions and his heart was clearly winning. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Duo searching through his chest before seeing a glint of steel. Heero swung around, his stance guarded. Was all Duo said all a lie and now plotting to kill him? "Put that down," he ordered Duo, seeing the gleaming ceremonial knife in his slim hands.

Duo ignored him and stalked past him, snagging his mate's hand and pulling him out of their dwelling towards the centre of the village.

"Let go," Heero snarled, but was amazed by his mate's strong grip.

Duo finally did, when the two of them were standing in the middle of the village, the tribe looking on, curious, but not seriously condemning. After all, the presence of a strong Healer was nothing to be ashamed about and as the mate of their tribe chief. It may be a shame that he would not be able to provide them with an heir, but Heero had been different since Duo arrived and turned the Shifter's once orderly life upside down. Less stiff.

"My name is Duo Maxwell," Duo announced to the gathering throng.

Quatre and Trowa pushed their way to the front of the crowd, watching the scene unfold. Wufei joined them, a sense of disquiet about him. His body language told the other two that he too was uneasy about the lies told but there was grudging respect for Duo in the way he was now facing his misdeeds.

"I was… am a Healer, once of the Western Shifter. I have never been a bearer and I will never be." Duo pulled down the top of his shirt to reveal his tattoo, now reduced to a sapling. "I have done this village wrong," he continued in a strong voice, never wavering and dropped to his knees in front of Heero. He held up the knife offering it to his mate, violet eyes determined. "I now offer my life as forfeit," he hung his head in shame.

A low roar of surprise erupted from the crowd as a surprise ran through them. Heero took a step back staring down at Duo, stunned. Duo never moved from his position of obeisance, the ceremonial knife still held over his head.

Quatre recognised it, it was a Healer's life, a knife used for initiations for all Healers. It was sacred to a Healer which signifies the letting for their blood, their life to sustain the Forest and all Shifters. For all Healers, the ceremonial knife was the representation of their life. Duo was now handing it over to Heero. He hoped Heero understood its significance. Judging from the intensity in Heero's dark blue eyes, the blond Healer knew he did.

"Stand up," Heero hissed. "You are my mate and I will not have you abasing yourself like this. And you are a damned Healer, you owe respect to no one, now get up!" He bent down, grabbed Duo's forearm roughly and jerked him up.

Guilt ridden violet eyes met cobalt, shimmering with tears. "I'm not your mate," Duo clarified in a carrying tone. "I have forfeited right the moment I lied to you. I have no pride left as a Healer. I have hurt instead of Heal. And as the tradition dictates, a Healer that cause hurt shall be put to death by his own knife. Here which I give to you, tribe chief." They were words of ceremony, ancient words that bespoke of Duo's desire to embrace death, to admit his guilt.

"Duo," Quatre barked. "You never hurt us!"

Duo turned to look at his friend, smiling sadly. "I did, aren't you all hurt by my lies? Wouldn't the tribe suffer from civil war and unrest if I cannot produce an heir for the tribe chief?" His expression grew determined. "If you are not going to take my life as repayment for debt, I will do it myself." He raised the knife, the tip aimed at his chest. He closed his eyes, and brought the knife down. "I love you, Heero, always," he whispered a final goodbye, preparing for the feel of the pain of death.

Someone screamed as journey of the knife was halted abruptly. Duo peeked through chestnut bands and saw Heero's fist tightly clasping the blade, blood dripping down the knife.

"Heero," Duo exclaimed, coming to his feet. He made to grab Heero's hand but the other, pushed it away, taking the knife from him.

"The Healer has offered me his life," Heero announced to the villagers, holding up the bloody knife. "I have accepted. It is now mine to do as I please." He turned and stalked away.

"Heero?" Duo called after him, uncertain.

Heero turned. "And it is my pleasure that the Healer remain alive." This time, he didn't look back. He was hurt by Duo's duplicity but he was, more certain than anything, sure that Duo loved him with all his heart. He had been willing to die for Heero, twice and no amount of obligation, as Healer or otherwise called for that. He wanted the long haired Healer more than anything he had in his entire life and now that he got it, there was no way he was going to let him go.

"Heero," Duo had caught up with him. "You can't do this. I shouldn't be allowed to live." He was angry. Angry that his mate would deny him this one small control in life. He had lost everything and yet his mate refused to let him have what's left of his pride, to do what was right.

Heero entered their dwelling before continuing to speak. They need to settle this, and they can only do this in private. "When I took your ceremonial blooding knife, you effectively gave me control of your life. I say you live." He crossed his arms and tried to stare down Duo.

"You are supposed to kill me! I lied to you," Duo was getting panicked. His well thought out plan of dying was rapidly disintegrating. Would he actually have to face Heero after all he did? "I ruined your life! If you won't kill me, I will do it myself," Duo threatened, lunging for the knife still clutched in Heero's bleeding hand.

Duo found himself sprawled on the floor, his right cheeking stinging with pain and lips bleeding where a tooth cut. He stared up at Heero, stunned into silence.

"You talk about hurting me," Heero said, voice tightly controlled but the rage he felt was hovering close by. "You lied true, but you also said you love me, unless that is a lie itself."

"No! Heero, I never lied about that," Duo protested.

"Silence!" Heero cut him off. "So, you want me to kill someone that loves me, and that I love as well. That is not hurting me? You are a coward, Duo. It takes more courage to face your wrongs than to run away from it." He knelt down in front of Duo, reaching out to brush his fingers across the bruise. "I need you, Duo. Don't make me do something that I'll regret," Heero told him, voice leaden with sadness.

Duo felt like he took a punch to the gut. He had never thought to put it in that perspective as well. He was selfish and a coward. He tried to make Heero do something that he would probably regret for the rest of his life. How could he… He swallowed the lump in his throat. Heero was better off with someone who didn't try to pull his beating heart out of his chest most of the time. He got up and walked to his chest of drawers, pulling out his the clothes his came to the village in and made to walk out when was confronted by a Heero shaped wall.

"Where are you going?"

"You are right, I don't deserve you," Duo told him.

Heero gripped Duo's arm almost painfully. "You are leaving me?"

"You think I want to?" Duo pulled his hand out of the vice like grip. "I know what it means to be a tribe chief's mate. I can't give you what you want."

"And what do you think that it?" Heero wanted to shake this innate stubbornness out of his mate. What Duo was thinking he would never understand.

"An heir."

"I…" Heero couldn't deny that was what he needed but not what he wanted. He needed an heir, but he wanted Duo. Why can't his mate see that?

"I will never set foot into this dwelling again until I can bear you children," Duo told Heero decisively, pushing him aside.

Heero grabbed his mate from behind, desperation making him hold on tight. "I have your knife, you have to do what I tell you," he buried his face in Duo's shoulder.

Duo leaned against Heero, savouring the feel of his mate's body, probably for the last time. "You have control of my life, not my will. I am still an independent Healer. I go where I will. I'm sorry, but I can't do this to you," he told Heero gently. "You need a mate that can…"

"I need you," Heero cried. "Please don't leave me. No one blames you for being who you are."

Duo turned Heero's arms. "I'm not leaving you. I have to right to you. You have to let me go."

Heero tightened his arms. "Never."

"Think of the tribe, Heero," Duo sighed.

For a long while, Heero was silent, presumably thinking of the good of the tribe. With a shuddering sigh, his arms around Duo loosened but didn't let go. "You are always right, my love."

That endearment tore at Duo's heart. This would probably be the last time he would hear it from Heero's lips. "Goodbye, Heero."

Heero stopped him. "Please," he begged. "One more night, just… just this one more time."

How could he deny Heero anything? Duo smiled warmly, just a hint of sadness. Nothing would mar tonight's memory. He leaned forward, touching Heero's wounded hand with his power, Healing the cut just as he stepped in for a kiss. Everything will be perfect tonight, this one last time.

Hours later, Duo was still clasped in Heero's tight embrace, unable to make an escape. "I'm so sorry, love. I did this to us. If you weren't who you are and I'm not who I am, we would be perfect," he whispered, tracing his fingers across Heero's sleeping features.

Ancient, if you can hear me, please, let us be together Duo sent a soft prayer outward with all his heart.

The only way that can come to pass, if you somehow get pregnant, fool, his mind mocked him mercilessly.

Then let it be so, his heart begged. Let is be so.

As Duo slipped off to join Heero in slumber, he swore he could almost hear a soft laughter of amusement.

tbc…