Chapter 31
The golden rays of the sun shinned threw his bedroom window; turning his body over he felt nothing but the coldness of sleeping alone. It still plagued his mind how he could just give up Stacy and his children after seeing them being born for the first time. Was he really doing what was right for them? Was giving up everything and everyone that he loved so dearly really the way to save them? The first night of sleeping alone had probably been the hardest he had ever had to face, during the times that she wouldn't be in his bed, he always knew in the back of his mind that she would be there soon but now there wasn't any idea of when that time would be. How could he give them up? It pained him down to the very depths of his soul to stay in that hospital room covered up, not being able to tell Stacy that it was him as the nurse and to give her words of encouragement. The pain in Sonny's eyes when he told her that he was supposedly 'dead' still haunted him, he knew that him and Sonny had always been close but the tears that threatened to fall down his face just proved it even more.
The Feds had wanted him to leave the minute the babies were born, but he couldn't leave them without at least holding them once, if not that thought would always be in the back of his mind. He agonizingly remembered the feel of their soft skin, the way his son reached out and held onto his finger ever so tightly. He had only expected one child, but was almost as surprised as Sonny had been when the doctor had told her to push once more, not only had she given him the best gift in the world of her undying love, but now she gave him a son and a daughter, Caleb and Isabelle.
Slowly he walked over to the front door of his hotel room, opening up the door and picking up the morning paper. Closing the door behind him he slowly walked back over to the bed, sitting down on the edge staring at the front-page headline. "Local Mobster, Jason Morgan, Laid To Rest Today". The promises he had made Stacy, their plans for the future, would have to be put on hold. It pained him deeply but if this was the only way to protect his family, his wife and his two children, then it's what would have to be done. Today was the beginning of the crusade for him to find those who wanted to kill his family; today he would leave Port Charles, and leave his family. For how long? He still didn't know.
******
Sadly she stared out the window of the penthouse, after she had been released from the hospital she didn't want to go back to the house her and Jason had shared, of course Sonny and Carly had welcomed her to their house with opened arms, helping take care of the twins for her as her heart still grieved for her husband.
She knew that everyone else was dealing with Jason's death in his or her own way, but she just couldn't get past that he wasn't coming back. Had she been wrong about that nurse in her room during the birth of her two children? Those eyes looked exactly like Jason's; maybe it was her subconscious mind not wanting to let her heart believe that he was really gone.
She had separated herself from everyone and everything she used to hold so dearly, never leaving her room, anytime her children would cry; Leticia would take care of it. She couldn't look at her children; it was too hard for her to see their father in their eyes, or in their face. She didn't want to believe he was gone; her heart didn't want to move on. Was she really ready to continue on with her life and be a mother to these children without Jason by her side? What kind of mother couldn't even take care of her own child?
*I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone*
She could even stand being in this town anymore, there were too many memories of Jason around. Her children deserved to have a better life then what she was already giving them, she couldn't even be a mother to them, couldn't even hold them, couldn't even look at them without breaking down and crying, was that really what they needed? No they needed a real mother, and that wasn't something she could be right now.
*These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase*
Of course the doctors had said it was just post-pardon depression, but she knew that wasn't the case, they were part of Jason. Every time she thought of them, she thought of him. Her parents hadn't even wanted them to stay with her during the funeral; she was alone in the penthouse, just like in her heart, alone. . .without Jason. She couldn't give her children the life they deserved, but her parents could.
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
Though it hurt her deep in her heart, she knew she was doing the right thing, Sonny and Carly could take care of them better then she could. It wasn't like she was leaving them forever; she just needed time away from everyone, away from Port Charles, away from her life with Jason to grieve on her own.
*You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me*
Walking slowly over to the desk in her bedroom she picked up the phone and dialed a number waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.
"Hello, this is Stacy Morgan, do you have any flights out of Port Charles within the next hour?. . .you do? Where's it going?. . .that would be great, could you please book me for that flight. . .First Class please. . .no this wont be round trip, just one way. . .thank you."
Hanging up the phone she reached over at a blank piece of paper, grabbing a pen she started to write.
"Dear Mom and Dad,
I know this time has been both hard for you guys as it has been for me. I never thought the love of my life would be taken away from me so soon after starting our lives together. I feel so helpless and so lost, I know you both have tried to help me out threw this difficult time. It's so hard for me to be strong for my children when every time I look at them I see Jason. I honestly don't feel that he's dead and I think that denial is what makes me even sadder everyday, especially today as he's buried. How can I be a mother to Isabelle and Caleb when I can't even bring myself to believe that their father is gone? That's why I'm leaving, I don't know how long I'll be gone, or when I'll come back but I need this time to be by myself. I hope that you guys don't mind watching Belle and Caleb, I know they both adore you two, you guys have been more of a parent to them then I have or could ever be. Until I can't truly bring myself to believe that Jason's gone, I don't think it would be wise for me to stay here. Please tell them every night that their mother loves them and was just doing what she thought would be best. I love you both so much.
All my love, Stacy Corinthos-Morgan."
*These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase*
Carefully she folded the letter, sitting it on her already made bed. This was what she needed to do, it was so hard for her to leave, but she needed to do it. Slowly she walked out of her bedroom, down the stairs and out of the penthouse towards the elevators. Her heart broke just staring at Penthouse 2, the house her and Jason had shared, the place so many memories were made, so many promises that were now broken.
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
The elevators doors opened up and she stepped inside, her mind telling her to go back and face this tragedy with her family, her heart telling her to never give up, and that this was the right thing. Slowly but proudly she walked out of the Harbor View Towers, into a waiting cab, after telling the driver to head towards the airport she stared out the window just staring at the passing buildings.
After arriving at the airport she paid for her ticket and hurried towards the plane, just barely making it before it was to take off. Sitting in her seat she placed her head back against the seat. The tears she had held now started to fall, it pained her to leave her children and her family but she felt like she wasn't any good to them as a walking vegetable, they would be better off without her there to bother them.
*I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along*
Slowly she looked down at her hand, the finger that once held her engagement ring and wedding ring was now bare, she wondered if it would ever feel the weight of another ring ever again. Sniffling back some tears she wiped the ones that had already fallen from her face, her attention now taken to something white that was being held in front of her face, turning towards the hand that held the white tissue she saw a dark brown haired man, his hair spiked up almost like a skater, she estimated his age to be almost 21.
"I hate to see a beautiful woman cry."
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
Handing her the tissue, he smiled at her, his smile warming her heart. His piercing emerald eyes burning her deep to her soul, there was something about the man she could put her finger on, but for some reason she seemed to enjoy his company. The feeling she felt for this man was almost the same feeling she felt the first time she laid eyes on Jason, but was she really ready to move on?
"I'm Stacy. . .Stacy Maxell"
"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Stacy, I'm Luis. Luis Alcazar, guess we'll be riding to Miami together."
"Yeah, I guess we will."
The End
Song Credit: "My Immortal" By Evanescence.
A/N: Okay I know I said that there was going to be another chapter or two but I decided to end the story like this. Don't worry I'll be writing a part two; I couldn't let the story just end like this now could I? I know I made Luis to be younger but you'll understand later when I start the second part. Right now I just want to say a HUGE thank you to Isabelle who's stuck by this story since the beginning and has always been my muse, love you girl! To everyone who's read this story a great big thank you, I can't wait to start the second part, which is going to be about a year later. I'm really sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter but I had a lot of drama in my life that needed to be taken care of first, I'm hoping to have the first chapter or two of the next part done by Sunday or so if my schedule allows it. Again thanks guys!
The golden rays of the sun shinned threw his bedroom window; turning his body over he felt nothing but the coldness of sleeping alone. It still plagued his mind how he could just give up Stacy and his children after seeing them being born for the first time. Was he really doing what was right for them? Was giving up everything and everyone that he loved so dearly really the way to save them? The first night of sleeping alone had probably been the hardest he had ever had to face, during the times that she wouldn't be in his bed, he always knew in the back of his mind that she would be there soon but now there wasn't any idea of when that time would be. How could he give them up? It pained him down to the very depths of his soul to stay in that hospital room covered up, not being able to tell Stacy that it was him as the nurse and to give her words of encouragement. The pain in Sonny's eyes when he told her that he was supposedly 'dead' still haunted him, he knew that him and Sonny had always been close but the tears that threatened to fall down his face just proved it even more.
The Feds had wanted him to leave the minute the babies were born, but he couldn't leave them without at least holding them once, if not that thought would always be in the back of his mind. He agonizingly remembered the feel of their soft skin, the way his son reached out and held onto his finger ever so tightly. He had only expected one child, but was almost as surprised as Sonny had been when the doctor had told her to push once more, not only had she given him the best gift in the world of her undying love, but now she gave him a son and a daughter, Caleb and Isabelle.
Slowly he walked over to the front door of his hotel room, opening up the door and picking up the morning paper. Closing the door behind him he slowly walked back over to the bed, sitting down on the edge staring at the front-page headline. "Local Mobster, Jason Morgan, Laid To Rest Today". The promises he had made Stacy, their plans for the future, would have to be put on hold. It pained him deeply but if this was the only way to protect his family, his wife and his two children, then it's what would have to be done. Today was the beginning of the crusade for him to find those who wanted to kill his family; today he would leave Port Charles, and leave his family. For how long? He still didn't know.
******
Sadly she stared out the window of the penthouse, after she had been released from the hospital she didn't want to go back to the house her and Jason had shared, of course Sonny and Carly had welcomed her to their house with opened arms, helping take care of the twins for her as her heart still grieved for her husband.
She knew that everyone else was dealing with Jason's death in his or her own way, but she just couldn't get past that he wasn't coming back. Had she been wrong about that nurse in her room during the birth of her two children? Those eyes looked exactly like Jason's; maybe it was her subconscious mind not wanting to let her heart believe that he was really gone.
She had separated herself from everyone and everything she used to hold so dearly, never leaving her room, anytime her children would cry; Leticia would take care of it. She couldn't look at her children; it was too hard for her to see their father in their eyes, or in their face. She didn't want to believe he was gone; her heart didn't want to move on. Was she really ready to continue on with her life and be a mother to these children without Jason by her side? What kind of mother couldn't even take care of her own child?
*I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone*
She could even stand being in this town anymore, there were too many memories of Jason around. Her children deserved to have a better life then what she was already giving them, she couldn't even be a mother to them, couldn't even hold them, couldn't even look at them without breaking down and crying, was that really what they needed? No they needed a real mother, and that wasn't something she could be right now.
*These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase*
Of course the doctors had said it was just post-pardon depression, but she knew that wasn't the case, they were part of Jason. Every time she thought of them, she thought of him. Her parents hadn't even wanted them to stay with her during the funeral; she was alone in the penthouse, just like in her heart, alone. . .without Jason. She couldn't give her children the life they deserved, but her parents could.
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
Though it hurt her deep in her heart, she knew she was doing the right thing, Sonny and Carly could take care of them better then she could. It wasn't like she was leaving them forever; she just needed time away from everyone, away from Port Charles, away from her life with Jason to grieve on her own.
*You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me*
Walking slowly over to the desk in her bedroom she picked up the phone and dialed a number waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.
"Hello, this is Stacy Morgan, do you have any flights out of Port Charles within the next hour?. . .you do? Where's it going?. . .that would be great, could you please book me for that flight. . .First Class please. . .no this wont be round trip, just one way. . .thank you."
Hanging up the phone she reached over at a blank piece of paper, grabbing a pen she started to write.
"Dear Mom and Dad,
I know this time has been both hard for you guys as it has been for me. I never thought the love of my life would be taken away from me so soon after starting our lives together. I feel so helpless and so lost, I know you both have tried to help me out threw this difficult time. It's so hard for me to be strong for my children when every time I look at them I see Jason. I honestly don't feel that he's dead and I think that denial is what makes me even sadder everyday, especially today as he's buried. How can I be a mother to Isabelle and Caleb when I can't even bring myself to believe that their father is gone? That's why I'm leaving, I don't know how long I'll be gone, or when I'll come back but I need this time to be by myself. I hope that you guys don't mind watching Belle and Caleb, I know they both adore you two, you guys have been more of a parent to them then I have or could ever be. Until I can't truly bring myself to believe that Jason's gone, I don't think it would be wise for me to stay here. Please tell them every night that their mother loves them and was just doing what she thought would be best. I love you both so much.
All my love, Stacy Corinthos-Morgan."
*These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase*
Carefully she folded the letter, sitting it on her already made bed. This was what she needed to do, it was so hard for her to leave, but she needed to do it. Slowly she walked out of her bedroom, down the stairs and out of the penthouse towards the elevators. Her heart broke just staring at Penthouse 2, the house her and Jason had shared, the place so many memories were made, so many promises that were now broken.
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
The elevators doors opened up and she stepped inside, her mind telling her to go back and face this tragedy with her family, her heart telling her to never give up, and that this was the right thing. Slowly but proudly she walked out of the Harbor View Towers, into a waiting cab, after telling the driver to head towards the airport she stared out the window just staring at the passing buildings.
After arriving at the airport she paid for her ticket and hurried towards the plane, just barely making it before it was to take off. Sitting in her seat she placed her head back against the seat. The tears she had held now started to fall, it pained her to leave her children and her family but she felt like she wasn't any good to them as a walking vegetable, they would be better off without her there to bother them.
*I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along*
Slowly she looked down at her hand, the finger that once held her engagement ring and wedding ring was now bare, she wondered if it would ever feel the weight of another ring ever again. Sniffling back some tears she wiped the ones that had already fallen from her face, her attention now taken to something white that was being held in front of her face, turning towards the hand that held the white tissue she saw a dark brown haired man, his hair spiked up almost like a skater, she estimated his age to be almost 21.
"I hate to see a beautiful woman cry."
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me*
Handing her the tissue, he smiled at her, his smile warming her heart. His piercing emerald eyes burning her deep to her soul, there was something about the man she could put her finger on, but for some reason she seemed to enjoy his company. The feeling she felt for this man was almost the same feeling she felt the first time she laid eyes on Jason, but was she really ready to move on?
"I'm Stacy. . .Stacy Maxell"
"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Stacy, I'm Luis. Luis Alcazar, guess we'll be riding to Miami together."
"Yeah, I guess we will."
The End
Song Credit: "My Immortal" By Evanescence.
A/N: Okay I know I said that there was going to be another chapter or two but I decided to end the story like this. Don't worry I'll be writing a part two; I couldn't let the story just end like this now could I? I know I made Luis to be younger but you'll understand later when I start the second part. Right now I just want to say a HUGE thank you to Isabelle who's stuck by this story since the beginning and has always been my muse, love you girl! To everyone who's read this story a great big thank you, I can't wait to start the second part, which is going to be about a year later. I'm really sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter but I had a lot of drama in my life that needed to be taken care of first, I'm hoping to have the first chapter or two of the next part done by Sunday or so if my schedule allows it. Again thanks guys!