Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, probably future mpreg

A/N: I know this is shameless, but I have an original mpreg at entitled the Enigma. For some reason, I can't seem to paste the linkie here, but it is available at my bio.

Fates and Choices

Part 9: Of Ancients and Explanations

Duo decided that the last month must have been the most horrible of his life. He was finally home, but he felt completely useless. He was completely useless. Most of the time he had spent curled up at the base of his favourite tree, bawling his eyes out. He knew it was his hormones going off hilt, but there was more to it than that. He had been a Healer all his life and was conditioned to make people and things feel better, to put others' comfort before his own. For the first time in his life, the entire tribe was putting his comfort first, was making sure he was well. Being in the Healer's dwelling assisting the Healers wasn't the same as being a Healer, a difference he was quick to find out.

There were still Healings required after battles, some worse than others. Duo could still feel the pain of the injured, the low cry of sadness from the Forest, but he was helpless to make it feel better, to make anyone feel better. The Healers sometimes came back completely exhausted and it only added to the violet eyed Healer's guilt. He could have helped them, he was stronger than all of them. It didn't have to be this difficult but because he went and got himself pregnant, it had made everything more difficult for everyone. He was a burden to the tribe and with the current unrest in the eastern area, The tribe definitely didn't need someone who couldn't pull their weight.

One late afternoon found Duo grinding herbs in Quatre's laboratory when a flurry of activity caught his attention. Trowa and a few other Shifters were carrying all the Healers into the room, and gently laid them down on the waiting beds. Duo quickly passed around cups of tea used to bolster a Healer's strength after a difficult bout of Healing. He took Quatre's cup himself and settled next to Trowa who hovered worriedly over his prone mate.

Duo gasped painfully when his eyes settled on Quatre. The blond Healer looked, sick. More than sick. If the Healer's chest wasn't periodically heaving for breath, Duo would have thought him dead. His friend was pale and a light sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead. He seemed at the end of his strength, at the end of his endurance. Duo opened his senses fully and reeled as if he was punched. Quatre wasn't at the end of his endurance, he was past it and he was… dying. There wasn't anything left within him to hold him together and he was failing.

"Trowa," Duo said, uncertainly, holding out the cup.

Trowa turned baleful green eyes at Duo, eyes almost accusing and grabbed the cup from the other's out stretched hand. "Quatre, love, please, drink this," he lifted the blond and placed the cup to his lips, tilting it slightly. The cool liquid dribbled from the edge of the Healer's lips, him being too weak to drink. "No, Quatre, no, please, you have to drink, you have to.. You can't leave me," Trowa sobbed over his mate's prone form, knowing his little one didn't have that much time left.

"Trowa," Duo hesitated, placing a comforting hand on the taller Shifter's shoulder.

"Leave me alone," Trowa snarled, slapping the braided Healer's hand away. He lashed out at the only person that was present. "It's all your fault," he blamed. "You could have helped him, he's dying because of you, the other Healers are dying because of you. Leave us alone." Then he crumbled, sobbing earnestly, begging his mate to hold on.

Guilt, and shame, two ever present factors within the Healer's emotions for the past month, flared to dizzying intensity and he stumbled back at the harsh accusations of his friend's mate.

"No, I…" Duo stared at the prone forms of his fellow Healers, once again Trowa's words beating harshly into his brain. "NO!" He screamed, turning and running out of the dwelling. He ran past gathering Shifters, concerned about the health of their Healers, pushing them aside, fleeing into the woods that gave him so much comfort.

"Duo!" Heero called from behind him somewhere, but the braided Shifter gave his mate no heed, his only concern was getting away from the pain and death radiating from the room. To go somewhere and weep his soul out. He wasn't sure when he Shifted but the next coherent thing he knew, he was on all fours as a wolf running like the wind.

He would have continued running but his child warned him it was time to stop. Duo lay on the Forest floor, gasping, hugging himself, trying not to see Quatre lying there on that bed, fighting for his life, Trowa grabbing at him, looking out from pain filled green eyes. Tears hovered close by, waiting for a weak moment to pounce on Duo, waiting for his control to crack.

"I am not going to cry," Duo told himself firmly. "Healers have no use for tears."

But you are not a Healer now aren't you? His mind mocked.

Duo flopped onto his back, staring at the setting sun, winning for once his battle with his emotions. He was right about many things, about the tribe seeing him as a burden and unable to help the tribe, unable to do anything in his present condition. His hand strayed to his stomach, resting lightly on the graceful swell, feeling his baby move within.

"But this is not your fault," he told his baby. "The guilt lies with me, my son. I am sorry if you are caught in this."

How is this all your fault, little one?

Duo whipped his head around, his eyes settling on the illuminated form of a glowing woman. He couldn't see her features but his heart saw her beauty, her power, her form.

Who are you? Duo asked.

She smiled, Duo felt her smile. Do you need to ask?

A…Ancient… He felt his world spinning at this realisation.

A glowing arm extended towards him, helping him up. I will not let my Healers die in vain, little one

They were so weak Duo choked.

A warm touch on his face I meant you

Duo blinked, stunned. I'm all right

Your son tells me differently

He felt a warm hand on his stomach, an infinite power filling him. The sensation was so sweet he wanted to weep with joy.

This is not your fault. You asked for your son. I heard your plea when you were with your mate. I always listen to you, little one

I.. did?

I am life within the Forest and my Shifters are the reflection of that life while the Healers are their guardians. Your little one is part of my as it is part of you and your mate

I'm not a Healer anymore Duo felt bitter emotions.

She sighed. You will always be a Healer. But my Healers were meant to protect life, not create them. That's why you can't Heal right now

I don't understand

You can't Heal because your son is absorbing that part of your power you normally use to Heal. In other bearers, it is dormant for their offspring to use, but my Healers have not that as their reserve She sounded almost regretful.

Then how…

She smiled. You are my strongest. I always listen to you

Finally, what the Ancient said penetrated Duo. You are saying I did this? He caressed his stomach.

Only you, no other. They are not strong enough. Only you

Duo fell silent, letting what the Ancient was telling him soak slowly into his mind. His desire overcame the Ancient's order, the Ancient's wishes, turning it into reality for him, even though his own body would be at odds with what his mind wanted.

You understand?

Duo nodded.

She sighed, it sounded like the wind, the breeze through his hair. What shall you do?

Duo understood the question. To end the pregnancy and Heal again, or to give birth to his son. Guilt had no place here. He had chosen this; his own selfishness had brought about this Achilles Heel. I want both

Little one, you can't….

Duo shut her out, gathering his power. He recognised it as being part of her, the same warmth, the same glow, the same joy when he wielded it. His son within him protested, crying, struggling against the lost of warmth. He was hurting his baby; he had to stop before it was too late. He heard the cadence of the Forest's life and willed it to sustain his friends. He saw their faltering hearts, their waning power and he let his power surround them. No, it was not strong enough, he couldn't reach that far.

Help me He implored the Ancient. Arms encircled him, her power joining his, washing into the weakened Healers, bolstering their life force. He felt Quatre gasped as he was startled awake.

Duo? Quatre asked. No, stop. You're going to hurt yourself!

Won't… be… a… burden Power dimmed, faltered and then it was gone. The same arms caught him as he fell, lowering him gently onto the ground. Baby… He gasped, curling his arms protectively around his stomach, feeling the same pain that assaulted him the first time. Hurts… losing… baby

The Ancient embraced him, sighed softly against his hair, wrapping him in her love. No you won't She laid her hands over his, and the pain disappeared, the crying of Duo's baby stopped. Remember that I will always love you, little one She disappeared, leaving a soft kiss on Duo's cheek.

It was odd, the Ancient was gone, but why did he still feel so warm? Why were there still arms around him?

"Duo," a worried voice called out, arms rocking him. "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong? Please."

Duo tilted his head back. "H'ro," he mumbled, completely drained. "Saw her, b'tiful." He frowned. "Why y'cryin?"

Heero clutched him tightly against his chest. "I thought you had died. You were so still, you lay there so still. Don't ever do this to me again. Do you hear me?"

"Home?" Duo asked, eyes not really focusing. He was just really sleepy.

"Heero?" A new voice joined the tribe chief's. Wufei, Duo recognised.

Heero turned to his warrior. "He's fine." The relief in his voice was overwhelming.

"Baby?" Wufei asked hesitantly.

"Sleepin'," Duo informed, smiling drowsily, his hands resting on his stomach. "Home?" He repeated.

Heero nodded, smiling. "Home."

tbc…

Heero: This is so short.

Tsu: Don't look at me, it's not like it's my fault.

Duo: You're the one writing it.

Tsu: Oh yeah….