Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.
Important Author's Note!!: I did not come up with the idea for this plot. It, along with the majority of the dialogue, belongs to my friend StumbleBum. I simply put it in story form and turned it into a fanfic.
THE POWER OF LIP GLOSS
Hermione Granger sat staring at Draco Malfoy in the common room they shared as head boy and head girl. They had been sitting that way for several hours, in the middle of an argument. Neither had said anything for the past half hour. Draco watched as Hermione took out a tube of lip gloss and applied it to her lips then stuck it back into the pocket of her robes. Then he said something to break the silence. Or yelled more like.
"LIP GLOSS SHALL DIE MY HAND AND I SHALL ENSLAVE IT'S SECRET
POWERS!!!!" he screamed at her. Hermione stared at him for a few silent seconds.
"The secret powers of lip gloss will never be yours, Malfoy." she said calmly.
"It will be mine!" he cried, sound very determined.
"Oh?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "And just how do you plan to use it?"
"I will use its awesome powers to become," he paused for dramatic effect. "THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE!!" He began to laugh maliciously.
Hermione gasped. "NO!" she cried. "You can't!"
"Oh, but I will!"
"But... but that's not possible!"
"Of course it is! I will become the sexiest man alive!...and take over the world... naturally."
"Naturally." she agreed. "But you couldn't possibly become any sexier... I mean... have you seen you?" she paused as though to reflect on what she had just said. I slight smile crept over her face. Then she snapped back to reality. "And secondly! The power of lip gloss can only be used by girls."
"Thank you for the compliment." he said. "And I will find away around that whole 'only girls can use it' thing."
"No! You could never use it." she cried. "Unless... are you hiding something, Malfoy?
"NO, GRANGER!" he cried. "I'm not hiding anything, how dare you insinuate such a thing?!!! AND I SHALL CONQUER THE POWER!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hermione shouted.
"IT is so!" yelled Draco. "And I shall kill all who are not loyal to me!" He began to laugh maliciously once more.
Hermione began to scream again, but this time in pain. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!" She screamed. Draco stopped laughing.
"Granger?" he asked. "Are you ok?"
She suddenly morphed into the Guardian of the Lip Gloss.
"I should have known!" Cried Draco. "I'm sorry, Granger, but I have no choice but to kill you!"
"YOU FOOL!" said Hermione. "You cannot defeat me!"
"I WILL DEFEAT YOU! EVEN IF YOU ARE THE GUARDIAN OF THE LIP GLOSS!"
"NO YOU WON'T!" she yelled back at him. "FOR I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE!"
"Uh-huh sure" said Draco.
"It's true!" she said. "You shall be banished to Girl World where you shall be tortured for all of eternity!"
"Sure, Granger."
"I'm serious!"
"Yeah, I believe you." he said sarcastically.
"Why won't you believe me?!" she said, sounding hurt.
"It doesn't really matter." Said Draco. "I CALL UPON THE AWESOME LULLABY POWER!" he yelled. A streak of blue light came shooting out of the overhead light and hit Draco. He fell over onto his face. When he had gotten back up he began to sing "Rock-a-by baby" and Hermione emediatley fell asleep. She then changed back from the guardian of the Lip Gloss to Hermione. Draco began to laugh maliciously, but then quieted so that he would not wake Hermione. He took the lip gloss out of her pocket and began to retreat to his dorm room. Then he remembered that she was sleeping. He quickly picked Hermione up off the floor and lay her on the couch, then conjured a blanket with his wand and lay it over her. Then he retreated to his dorm.
After Draco left their common room, the awesome power of lip gloss woke Hermione. She sat up and yawned. "That was a lovely sleep... what was I doing again?" Then she felt the magical pull of the lip gloss. "Gasp!" she gasped. "I must get the lip gloss back from Malfoy!" she got up and went to the entrance to his dorm.
"Password?" asked the gargoyl that guarded Draco's room.
"Oh crap!" exclaimed Hermione. " This is really not narfty! I don't know the password!"
"Thank you," said the statue and stepped aside. "Oh," said Hermione.
Inside...
Draco was busily working trying to find the power of lip gloss. "Gotta find it before she wakes up." he said. He tapped the tube with he wand saying several spells.
"Nothing's working!" He yelled.
"Because you're not a girl." said Hermione from behind him.
"DAMMIT!" he yelled. "How did you find me?!"
"I can sense where the lip gloss is.... and it's not particularly difficult to figure out that you would go here... to you dorm..."
"Oh ya!" he said as if just realizing where he was.
"Give me the lip gloss and I might just let you live!" yelled Hermione.
"NEVER!" he yelled and transformed into the EVIL DUCK OF DESTRUCTION.
Hermione turned back into the GUARDIAN OF THE LIP GLOSS.
"Quack! I'm Quack! Too quick for you! Quack!" he said. "And now Quack! I'm a Quack talking duck!"
They begin to battle. THE EVIL DUCK OF DESTRUCTION killed the GUARDIAN OF LIP GLOSS. .
"HA!! That was WAY NARFTY!!! now that the guardian of Lip Gloss is dead I am FREE to find the SECRET POWER OF LIP GLOSS!!!" He (again) began to laugh maliciously. Only this time is much more evil than before. The Evil Duck of Destruction turned back into Draco. He found the secret power of Lip Gloss.
"YOU PUT IT ON!!! THAT HOW IT WORKS!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He then began to do a happy dance.
Suddenly Hermione's lifeless form began to stir. SHE WAS BEING REBORN!!!!
"HOLY CRAP!!" yelled Draco and stopped dancing. . Hermione turns into the Good Fairy of Doom.
"You're too late, Mudblood." said Draco. "I have discovered the secret power of Lip Gloss!"
''Is that so?" Hermione said.
"Yeah... You just put it on!"
'crap' Hermione thought. 'He figured it out!'
"Silly Malfoy." She said. "That's not how you use it!" She began to laugh as though something histaricle had just happened, secretly hoping her plan would work.
"Its not?!"
"NO!!"
"oh... how goes it work?"
"I'll show you as soon as I get my wand out." She pulled out her wand. She quickly did a spell on herself making an army of her. Draco transformed into the EVIL WARLOCK OF NO SURVIVAL.
Hermione's Army quickly killed the evil warlock. Hermione got the Lip Gloss and became the savior of the world.
"That was too easy" said Hermione.
The citizens of the world went on normally, unaware that Hermione had just saved them from total destruction.
And though Hermione destroyed the evil Draco, there are still cults that worship his evil.. Will they try to get the secret of Lip Gloss too? We may never know.
THE END
By Stumble Bum and The Psycho Psychic
A/N:Review! Review! No flamers please...Unless you give me s'mores!
~ Psycho Psychic
Important Author's Note!!: I did not come up with the idea for this plot. It, along with the majority of the dialogue, belongs to my friend StumbleBum. I simply put it in story form and turned it into a fanfic.
THE POWER OF LIP GLOSS
Hermione Granger sat staring at Draco Malfoy in the common room they shared as head boy and head girl. They had been sitting that way for several hours, in the middle of an argument. Neither had said anything for the past half hour. Draco watched as Hermione took out a tube of lip gloss and applied it to her lips then stuck it back into the pocket of her robes. Then he said something to break the silence. Or yelled more like.
"LIP GLOSS SHALL DIE MY HAND AND I SHALL ENSLAVE IT'S SECRET
POWERS!!!!" he screamed at her. Hermione stared at him for a few silent seconds.
"The secret powers of lip gloss will never be yours, Malfoy." she said calmly.
"It will be mine!" he cried, sound very determined.
"Oh?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "And just how do you plan to use it?"
"I will use its awesome powers to become," he paused for dramatic effect. "THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE!!" He began to laugh maliciously.
Hermione gasped. "NO!" she cried. "You can't!"
"Oh, but I will!"
"But... but that's not possible!"
"Of course it is! I will become the sexiest man alive!...and take over the world... naturally."
"Naturally." she agreed. "But you couldn't possibly become any sexier... I mean... have you seen you?" she paused as though to reflect on what she had just said. I slight smile crept over her face. Then she snapped back to reality. "And secondly! The power of lip gloss can only be used by girls."
"Thank you for the compliment." he said. "And I will find away around that whole 'only girls can use it' thing."
"No! You could never use it." she cried. "Unless... are you hiding something, Malfoy?
"NO, GRANGER!" he cried. "I'm not hiding anything, how dare you insinuate such a thing?!!! AND I SHALL CONQUER THE POWER!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hermione shouted.
"IT is so!" yelled Draco. "And I shall kill all who are not loyal to me!" He began to laugh maliciously once more.
Hermione began to scream again, but this time in pain. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!" She screamed. Draco stopped laughing.
"Granger?" he asked. "Are you ok?"
She suddenly morphed into the Guardian of the Lip Gloss.
"I should have known!" Cried Draco. "I'm sorry, Granger, but I have no choice but to kill you!"
"YOU FOOL!" said Hermione. "You cannot defeat me!"
"I WILL DEFEAT YOU! EVEN IF YOU ARE THE GUARDIAN OF THE LIP GLOSS!"
"NO YOU WON'T!" she yelled back at him. "FOR I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE!"
"Uh-huh sure" said Draco.
"It's true!" she said. "You shall be banished to Girl World where you shall be tortured for all of eternity!"
"Sure, Granger."
"I'm serious!"
"Yeah, I believe you." he said sarcastically.
"Why won't you believe me?!" she said, sounding hurt.
"It doesn't really matter." Said Draco. "I CALL UPON THE AWESOME LULLABY POWER!" he yelled. A streak of blue light came shooting out of the overhead light and hit Draco. He fell over onto his face. When he had gotten back up he began to sing "Rock-a-by baby" and Hermione emediatley fell asleep. She then changed back from the guardian of the Lip Gloss to Hermione. Draco began to laugh maliciously, but then quieted so that he would not wake Hermione. He took the lip gloss out of her pocket and began to retreat to his dorm room. Then he remembered that she was sleeping. He quickly picked Hermione up off the floor and lay her on the couch, then conjured a blanket with his wand and lay it over her. Then he retreated to his dorm.
After Draco left their common room, the awesome power of lip gloss woke Hermione. She sat up and yawned. "That was a lovely sleep... what was I doing again?" Then she felt the magical pull of the lip gloss. "Gasp!" she gasped. "I must get the lip gloss back from Malfoy!" she got up and went to the entrance to his dorm.
"Password?" asked the gargoyl that guarded Draco's room.
"Oh crap!" exclaimed Hermione. " This is really not narfty! I don't know the password!"
"Thank you," said the statue and stepped aside. "Oh," said Hermione.
Inside...
Draco was busily working trying to find the power of lip gloss. "Gotta find it before she wakes up." he said. He tapped the tube with he wand saying several spells.
"Nothing's working!" He yelled.
"Because you're not a girl." said Hermione from behind him.
"DAMMIT!" he yelled. "How did you find me?!"
"I can sense where the lip gloss is.... and it's not particularly difficult to figure out that you would go here... to you dorm..."
"Oh ya!" he said as if just realizing where he was.
"Give me the lip gloss and I might just let you live!" yelled Hermione.
"NEVER!" he yelled and transformed into the EVIL DUCK OF DESTRUCTION.
Hermione turned back into the GUARDIAN OF THE LIP GLOSS.
"Quack! I'm Quack! Too quick for you! Quack!" he said. "And now Quack! I'm a Quack talking duck!"
They begin to battle. THE EVIL DUCK OF DESTRUCTION killed the GUARDIAN OF LIP GLOSS. .
"HA!! That was WAY NARFTY!!! now that the guardian of Lip Gloss is dead I am FREE to find the SECRET POWER OF LIP GLOSS!!!" He (again) began to laugh maliciously. Only this time is much more evil than before. The Evil Duck of Destruction turned back into Draco. He found the secret power of Lip Gloss.
"YOU PUT IT ON!!! THAT HOW IT WORKS!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He then began to do a happy dance.
Suddenly Hermione's lifeless form began to stir. SHE WAS BEING REBORN!!!!
"HOLY CRAP!!" yelled Draco and stopped dancing. . Hermione turns into the Good Fairy of Doom.
"You're too late, Mudblood." said Draco. "I have discovered the secret power of Lip Gloss!"
''Is that so?" Hermione said.
"Yeah... You just put it on!"
'crap' Hermione thought. 'He figured it out!'
"Silly Malfoy." She said. "That's not how you use it!" She began to laugh as though something histaricle had just happened, secretly hoping her plan would work.
"Its not?!"
"NO!!"
"oh... how goes it work?"
"I'll show you as soon as I get my wand out." She pulled out her wand. She quickly did a spell on herself making an army of her. Draco transformed into the EVIL WARLOCK OF NO SURVIVAL.
Hermione's Army quickly killed the evil warlock. Hermione got the Lip Gloss and became the savior of the world.
"That was too easy" said Hermione.
The citizens of the world went on normally, unaware that Hermione had just saved them from total destruction.
And though Hermione destroyed the evil Draco, there are still cults that worship his evil.. Will they try to get the secret of Lip Gloss too? We may never know.
THE END
By Stumble Bum and The Psycho Psychic
A/N:Review! Review! No flamers please...Unless you give me s'mores!
~ Psycho Psychic