Chapter 3
These Foolish Things
by: Jade
Disclaimer: Dawson's Creek
is not my property.
"Frank, I just wanted to remind you that
I'm taking half a day off tomorrow."
"Hmm," her boss, Corelli deliberated. "You got your duties
re-assigned?"
It was an unnecessary question on his part for everyone knew Joey was
impeccable when it came to her work.
She humored him. "Yes."
"Okay."
She stopped by Carol's desk to double-check that her schedule had been worked
around her plans for the next day and then went back to her office to pack up
to go home.
Carol looked on after her, left vaguely wondering as she recalled her employer,
who hardly took time off, had applied for leave the same time last year and the
year before that. She remembered so clearly because it had coincided with her
daughter's birthday.
She left the apartment the following morning
after Pacey had left for work. She'd told him that she would be out of the
office in the morning and early afternoon meeting clients and the first one
would not be due until after ten and there really was no reason for her to get
in that early.
Stopping by the florist, she bought a bunch of daisies before embarking on her
three-hour journey.
She drove along the Atlantic seafront, her windows wound down as she allowed
the wind to wash over her face and breathed in the saltiness of the air.
Water. Water used to be such big part of her life when she was growing up,
mostly because she'd been surrounded by it where she lived. It used to make her
feel safe, sitting by the creek.
Now, it made her sad.
But still she found herself never far from it. Seeing in the distance the
familiar whitewashed walls of a small building against a backdrop of a
cloudless sky, she pulled up beside it. She held the daisies in her arm and
trudged up the small flight of concrete steps leading to the reception area.
Dr. Randall who was talking to her nurse smiled a greeting when she spotted
Joey. "How have you been?" the former asked.
"I've been good," came her response.
"Beautiful flowers," the doctor pointed out and got ready to make a
move. "I'll leave you to it."
Joey nodded gratefully and made her way toward the exit that led to the ocean.
The sand was soft beneath her feet as she walked nearer to the water. She stood
where she was for a long time, just listening to the waves. She closed her eyes
against the breeze and she imagined she heard a child singing and then
laughter. A tear fell from the corner of her eye.
She laid the flowers on the sand. She touched the tips of her fingers to her
lips and then transferred the light kiss to the petals of a stalk of flower.
Pacey was always careful to keep a fair distance when he watched her. His heart
lurched at the familiar ache that came on every time he allowed himself to
remember what could have been.
"Popcorn. Check. Let's go."
She handed him the box of snack while she dug in her pockets for their tickets
to give to the usher standing by the entry into the theaters, who recognized
them and smiled broadly.
"I've seen you three times this week," the teenager with the nose
stud and two earrings in each ear commented, handing them their stubs.
"We're becoming regulars," Pacey remarked.
"Hmm...you know what?" Joey quipped. "I think I need something
to drink." She turned to go but he held on to her hand and pulled her
back.
"You go ahead. I'll get it."
"You know what I want?" she called after him.
He gave her his trademark arched-eyebrow look that said 'of course'.
"Don't mind my saying," the usher interrupted whilst attending to
other customers, "but your boyfriend's adorable."
Joey smiled. "How do you mean?"
"He's got this puppy-eyed look that's positively melting. Take it from
someone who hardly ever comments on normal-looking people."
Joey took in the girl's accessories and her excessive makeup and nodded. She
was still smiling when she walked into the dimmed theater until she realized
that she hadn't disputed the misunderstood notion that Pacey was her boyfriend.
The corners of her mouth immediately fell.
*****
"You want to tell me what's wrong?"
He was walking her home after the movie which he had noticed she had been
distracted throughout.
She stared at him, her eyebrows twitching with worry before looking away.
"It's nothing," she sighed.
"Fine," he shrugged. He was pretty good at judging her moods and
although she declined to talk about what was bothering her on many occasions,
he highly suspected this wasn't one of those times.
He was right.
"Pacey, do you find me a burden?"
He was completely caught off-guard. "What?"
"You know, do you ever get tired of being with me all the time?"
"Let me get this straight." He stopped in his step and faced her.
"Are you asking me if I'm tired of being your friend?"
"Well-" she deliberated. "-No. Maybe. I don't know."
"Have you been talking to Jen?"
"Jen?" Puzzlement flooded her features. "Am I missing something
here?"
"Never mind," he waved his question aside and reverted to the
original topic. "What's brought this on?"
"I've been thinking." She started walking and talking. "People
see me with you and they mistake us for a couple. That doesn't bode well for
your future with other women."
He began to laugh softly. "And I thought it was something important."
She, on the other hand, kept her expression grim. "I'm serious,
Pacey."
"And I think it's pointless to discuss this any further."
He kept on walking but she held him back with a hand to his arm. "I think
this is worth talking about."
He reluctantly agreed by making his way toward the nearest coffee house two
doors down.
*****
"I can take care of myself, Pacey."
"I never said you couldn't."
She brought her hands under her chin, elbows on the table. "I feel like
we're back in high school when you did Dawson that favor, looking out for
me."
"And you knew back then that wasn't the reason I stuck around."
Her eyes darted downwards and his gaze wandered. The past had jolted them both.
Let's pretend nothing happened.
And so he tried to forget he'd fallen in love with her.
And it didn't take her long to remember that it was Dawson she loved.
She leant backwards in her chair and looked out. It had started to drizzle. She
mentally traced each dot of rain as it pelted against the glass.
"It's my fault."
Pacey waited for her to explain.
"I've become too dependent on your company."
Still, he didn't speak.
She finally turned away from the glass. "Please don't take this the wrong
way. I like it that we spend time together but..." Her voice trailed off.
"But-"
"But we both need a life. I get it."
No, you don't. She loved being with him but she also felt guilty. It
would be selfish of her to only think of herself in this situation.
"Yeah, I suppose that would be it," she replied.
"Well, let's start taking count. Looks like we've exceeded this week's
quota so I suppose we shouldn't see each other at all next week to make up for
it." His voice was soft and low but Joey couldn't miss the sarcasm and the
hurt behind his words. He stood up and grabbed his coat. "You'll get home
okay, won't you?" He didn't wait for her answer before he left.
She sat there awhile longer, chewing on her bottom lip and playing with her
fingers. She let out a loud sigh and signaled to the waitress for the check.
The last time she heard from or seen him was
that fateful day. Five minutes after she'd stepped into her apartment, the
telephone rang.
She was ready to apologize but it was Jen.
"Okay, I don't know why but Pacey told me to call you."
Joey knew it was because he wanted to make sure that she'd got home safe but
didn't want to talk to her himself.
"It's just been some time since I spoke to you," she made up. They
stayed on the phone for another fifteen minutes before Jen was interrupted by a
second call. "Got to go. It's business. The spring's a popular time for
weddings."
*****
She spent the next two weeks coming home after
work with nowhere else to go. On the weekends, she went to the gym for aerobics
or a workout on the machines and met some people for a game or two of tennis
but always ended right back with the calories from a huge tub of Ben and
Jerry's in front of the television set.
Into the third week, she finally got sick of ER re-runs. She scooped the
cordless phone from its charger and dialed the number before she could change
her mind.
She got his machine. She quickly disconnected and hesitated a moment before
punching in more numbers.
His cell phone did not respond either.
"Damn!" she cursed. She hated to bother Jen but this was an
emergency.
"Didn't he tell you? He was called away to the Chicago office for a
shoot."
"No," she mumbled.
"Yeah, he got promoted and is now one of two rather fancied-titled
photographers to the magazine."
"I see," she said, but she really didn't at all. She was proud of his
achievement but sad that she hadn't heard the news straight from the horse's
mouth.
"But you know Pacey, he took it in his stride and barely reacted before he
was whisked away on his assignment. I only managed a 'Congratulations' before
he had to catch his plane."
"I see."
"Are you okay?"
She nodded, forgetting that Jen couldn't see her.
"The two of you are acting really strange. Pacey calls me and spends most
of the conversation asking me if I've heard from you and I only get a hello
from you before you dive right in with the questions. You know, if I had to
make an educated guess amidst the pressure I've been getting at work and not
being told anything by my friends, I would say you guys have had an
argument," she finished off knowingly.
"It wasn't really an argument," she denied weakly.
Jen knew that in spite of how she felt about the... weird (she didn't know how
else to describe it) relationship between her friends and the advice that she
had been giving Pacey to live his own life, she could no longer bear to see the
two of them like that.
"He misses you," she conceded. "And whatever it is that you two
were in disagreement about, he's definitely not, if he ever was, mad at you
now."
"Thanks, Jen," she said softly.
"No problem."
"You have an address where I could reach him?"
It was the fifth day of an exhausting
week-long outdoor shoot of the magazine's special celebrity spring issue. By
the time he got back to his room, all he wanted was to greet his bed.
He reluctantly dragged his sweaty self into the shower before he could collapse
in the clothes he's worked in all day. He finished his shower and was about to
turn off the lights when there was a knock on his door.
The bellboy greeted him before thrusting flowers and a gift-wrapped box at him.
Pacey blinked. "Are you sure these are for me?"
"Mr. Witter, right? Sure, sign here please."
He did and took the delivered presents uneasily. He put the flowers down and
grabbed the card to read it. A grin slowly grew on his face.
I'm sorry for how things ended that day. Please forgive a foolish friend for
her foolish ways. Congratulations on the promotion. I know you'll hate the
flowers but I hope you like the present. You could use it.
Love,
Joey
And she had drawn a smiley face that drew a light chuckle from him. Tearing the
wrapping off the box, he opened it and examined the elegant wallet that was a
huge contrast to the overused, wrinkled one he currently owned.
He sat down on the bed. Grabbing his old wallet off the bedside table, he began
to transfer the cards and money within it into his new Gucci one.
Feedback please, to: pacey@hockeymail.com