TITLE: One for the Road
AUTHOR: Cyn(di)
EMAIL: custardpringle@yahoo.com
RATING: PG for language
CATEGORY: romance, angst
SUMMARY: Sam is mad at Jack.
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, Upgrades
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, I know what "one for the road" originally meant, but
Jack and Sam don't and Daniel isn't there to tell them.
I don't own these people. Wish I did, but I don't.
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It had been a very long day.
No, Jack corrected himself. It had been an unbelievably long day. And he wasn't sure what to do about it. He had a pretty good idea, though. He was going to try and forget about the whole thing, and hope it would eventually go away. Not that he wanted it to go away, of course, but what choice did he have? With luck, Sam-Carter, he reminded himself-would see things the same way, and life could go back to normal.
He decided this just as he reached her lab and strode in without knocking, as usual. "Hey, Carter-" He stopped.
This was definitely not usual. She was sitting stiffly at her desk, glaring at him with what could only be described as pure rage. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so angry.
"Is there a problem, Major?"
"You bastard," she whispered, so softly he could barely hear her.
He took a step back in shock. "What?"
"You should have left," she continued, speaking more loudly but keeping her eyes fixed on his face. "You should have left me there and gotten out."
"Carter, what the hell are you talking about?" But he knew, almost before he asked.
"You could've escaped," she insisted.
He shook his head. "No way. There was no chance I was gonna leave you there. And as it turned out, ya know, we both escaped."
"Exactly. The forcefield came down. I got out. You didn't need to stay."
She wasn't calling him "sir." Unusual. And interesting. "Oh, but I did. Couldn't just leave you there to die, could I? I didn't know the explosion would knock out the field. What's your point, anyway?"
"If you hadn't stayed-" her voice wavered for the first time-"we wouldn't be in this mess right now."
"Really? Actually, I thought we'd cleaned it up rather nicely." Damn. Talk about badly timed sarcasm.
"No, we haven't." She was, he saw suddenly, close to tears.
He cautiously approached her again and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's up, Carter?" He knew precisely what was up, in fact, but he was desperately hoping he was wrong.
He wasn't.
She whirled on him fiercely. "Dammit, Jack, don't screw with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about here."
He blinked at the unexpected use of his given name and reciprocated. "Look, Sam, I've been trying not to think about it, okay?" Damn the woman, she could always see right through him. One of the many reasons he-
-loved her. Why not admit it?
"I'm sorry," he added when she remained silent. "I just don't know what to do."
"Neither do I." She buried her face in her arms, and he instinctively began to stroke her hair. "What did you tell her? The second time?" "Well, if you really want to know, I said I cared about you a lot more than I should." She turned her head to look at him, and he explained, "I didn't really feel like revealing my innermost thoughts to a Tok'ra, especially one who keeps getting us in trouble."
She smiled sadly. "I really didn't care at that point. I just told her straight out that I love you."
He took a deep breath and said softly, "I love you too." There it was, out in the open. He'd said it. "And when I said I cared about you-what I really meant was, if you'd died back there, I wouldn't have wanted to live without you."
She nodded once, slowly, and sat up, placing her hand over his on her shoulder. "So what are we going to do about this?"
"No idea." He looked into her blue eyes and saw the grief he knew was mirrored in his own brown ones.
"Maybe they'll change the regs," she offered without much hope.
He laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, right. Like that'll happen. I don't think we can do anything about it except retire." They both knew that wasn't an option. "Or we can just keep on like this."
"Not much of a choice there. So, essentially, we can't do anything." A single tear finally escaped and rolled down her cheek.
He brushed it away with his free hand. This was unbearable, dammit. "There's this," he told her softly, and kissed her. She responded hungrily, and it was nearly a minute before they broke apart.
Her sad smile returned. "We weren't allowed to do that, were we?"
"No," he answered gravely, "but we both needed it. One for the road, you could say."
"One for the road," she echoed, and stood up briskly. "So, what did you come to tell me?"
He sighed, partly form relief and partly from regret as his life went back to normal. "Well, it seems there's yet another Star Trek movie out, and Teal'c wants to see it. I was wondering if you'd like to come help me and Danny keep him out of trouble."
"Absolutely, sir. I was just about to go home anyway."
"You have a home, Carter?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Thought you lived here, working 24/7."
On the way out of the lab, she gave his hand one last, brief, reassuring squeeze, and he was grateful.
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It had been a very long day.
No, Jack corrected himself. It had been an unbelievably long day. And he wasn't sure what to do about it. He had a pretty good idea, though. He was going to try and forget about the whole thing, and hope it would eventually go away. Not that he wanted it to go away, of course, but what choice did he have? With luck, Sam-Carter, he reminded himself-would see things the same way, and life could go back to normal.
He decided this just as he reached her lab and strode in without knocking, as usual. "Hey, Carter-" He stopped.
This was definitely not usual. She was sitting stiffly at her desk, glaring at him with what could only be described as pure rage. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so angry.
"Is there a problem, Major?"
"You bastard," she whispered, so softly he could barely hear her.
He took a step back in shock. "What?"
"You should have left," she continued, speaking more loudly but keeping her eyes fixed on his face. "You should have left me there and gotten out."
"Carter, what the hell are you talking about?" But he knew, almost before he asked.
"You could've escaped," she insisted.
He shook his head. "No way. There was no chance I was gonna leave you there. And as it turned out, ya know, we both escaped."
"Exactly. The forcefield came down. I got out. You didn't need to stay."
She wasn't calling him "sir." Unusual. And interesting. "Oh, but I did. Couldn't just leave you there to die, could I? I didn't know the explosion would knock out the field. What's your point, anyway?"
"If you hadn't stayed-" her voice wavered for the first time-"we wouldn't be in this mess right now."
"Really? Actually, I thought we'd cleaned it up rather nicely." Damn. Talk about badly timed sarcasm.
"No, we haven't." She was, he saw suddenly, close to tears.
He cautiously approached her again and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's up, Carter?" He knew precisely what was up, in fact, but he was desperately hoping he was wrong.
He wasn't.
She whirled on him fiercely. "Dammit, Jack, don't screw with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about here."
He blinked at the unexpected use of his given name and reciprocated. "Look, Sam, I've been trying not to think about it, okay?" Damn the woman, she could always see right through him. One of the many reasons he-
-loved her. Why not admit it?
"I'm sorry," he added when she remained silent. "I just don't know what to do."
"Neither do I." She buried her face in her arms, and he instinctively began to stroke her hair. "What did you tell her? The second time?" "Well, if you really want to know, I said I cared about you a lot more than I should." She turned her head to look at him, and he explained, "I didn't really feel like revealing my innermost thoughts to a Tok'ra, especially one who keeps getting us in trouble."
She smiled sadly. "I really didn't care at that point. I just told her straight out that I love you."
He took a deep breath and said softly, "I love you too." There it was, out in the open. He'd said it. "And when I said I cared about you-what I really meant was, if you'd died back there, I wouldn't have wanted to live without you."
She nodded once, slowly, and sat up, placing her hand over his on her shoulder. "So what are we going to do about this?"
"No idea." He looked into her blue eyes and saw the grief he knew was mirrored in his own brown ones.
"Maybe they'll change the regs," she offered without much hope.
He laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, right. Like that'll happen. I don't think we can do anything about it except retire." They both knew that wasn't an option. "Or we can just keep on like this."
"Not much of a choice there. So, essentially, we can't do anything." A single tear finally escaped and rolled down her cheek.
He brushed it away with his free hand. This was unbearable, dammit. "There's this," he told her softly, and kissed her. She responded hungrily, and it was nearly a minute before they broke apart.
Her sad smile returned. "We weren't allowed to do that, were we?"
"No," he answered gravely, "but we both needed it. One for the road, you could say."
"One for the road," she echoed, and stood up briskly. "So, what did you come to tell me?"
He sighed, partly form relief and partly from regret as his life went back to normal. "Well, it seems there's yet another Star Trek movie out, and Teal'c wants to see it. I was wondering if you'd like to come help me and Danny keep him out of trouble."
"Absolutely, sir. I was just about to go home anyway."
"You have a home, Carter?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Thought you lived here, working 24/7."
On the way out of the lab, she gave his hand one last, brief, reassuring squeeze, and he was grateful.